Chapter 14

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Peeta

I hear a soft knock on my door and get up and open the door. Katniss stands on the porch shivering and I smile as I push her in and close the door.

"You made it," I say.

"Well, yeah," she says shuffling over to the fire and sitting, trying to warm up from the snow storm that had started just after nightfall."The curfew doesn't really scare me when they aren't as strict here and it's barely a hundred steps to your door."

"I know," I say taking her coat from her and hand her a blanket that had been sitting near the fire. "But I figured the storm might deter you a little, especially seeing as you're in a nightgown." She pulls the blanket around herself and the garment that barely graces her knees.

"You have to remember," she says. "One of these legs doesn't get cold anymore and that old hunting coat is warm enough to get me over here." I sit down on the floor next to her and pour her some tea from the kettle sitting over the fire. She takes it gratefully. She takes a drink before looking at me. "Can I have some honey?"

"Yeah," I say getting up. "Sorry, I forgot you don't like plain black tea."

"It's alright," she says as I go to get it. "You do and this is your house, Peeta." I sit back down beside her and she slowly stirs her tea.

"I know," I say. "But I do want to try to keep your likes and dislikes in mind."

"It's tea, Peeta," she says smirking. "It's not important." She sets down her cup and stares at the fire. "What you asked me here to talk about is."

"I didn't want to push the issue of a wedding date right away," I say. "Because yes, we are doing this on our own so it means something, but you never wanted this. Not really anyway."

"I did want this," she says softly. "But not so soon. Not like this." She pulls her knees to her chest and kind of cradles herself. "But eloping like this, it's the only way to be able to have anything close to what I always imagined my wedding being like."

"Do you have any idea?" I ask. "How I could make it like you imagined?"

"Honestly," she says. "At this point in our lives, the way everything keeps getting worse for everyone right now, I'd be happy if you came to my house one day and just said we were gonna go do it. We'd go to the meadow, maybe beneath that big willow tree along the edge. Say what we feel needs to be said to each other. Call them our vows or whatever you like. Exchange small gifts that meant something maybe. Then we'd come back here and I'd stay with you for a few days and we'd just go between the two houses until the Capital decides to give us their ceremony and legal documents. By then, we'd probably figure out what living situation works best. And," she stops and looks at me. "Well, I haven't thought about much further than just getting there with our heads still on our shoulders."

"We'll keep your mother and sister with us," I say. "I don't want to turn them out and send them back to that drafty shack."

"You'd do that for them?" She asks.

"They're your family, Katniss," I say. "I know your mother isn't my biggest fan, but when I marry you, they'll be my family too. And I'm going to take care of my family, Katniss." She smiles at me and reaches out to take my hand.

"Thank you," she says. "For being you. Not everyone would offer something like that."

"I try my best," I reply.

"What was your plan?" Katniss asks after a moment. "For how this was supposed to go."

"I never thought about it," I say. "In case you don't remember, I didn't plan on asking you to marry you that day. It just kinda happened. So I haven't thought too much about this."

"Do you not want to?" She asks.

"No," I say. "I do. I just never thought about actually you know, the whole getting married and wedding. I didn't expect for us to get this close in such a short amount of time. And now, we're sitting here trying to figure out when to have a wedding that we aren't even telling anyone about."

"After the snow melts," she says softly. "When things start to turn green and beautiful again. We decide the night before and we meet the next morning."

"You really don't ask much," I say and she laughs.

"I try not to," she says. "But are you okay with how I think it should go? Just deciding to go do it and let it be what it is?"

"I think that would be fine," I reply and she leans over and lays her head on my knee. "If you're sure that's what you want."

"I'm sure," she says. "As long as we love each other, none of the other stuff matters much."

Katniss

After I say those words, Peeta is silent for a moment before he leans over me and kisses me. It takes me by surprise, and I pull away a little.

"What's wrong?" He asks. I sit up and he lays a hand on my shoulder. I look at the fire for a moment and then turn back to him.

"I'm just a little afraid of this," I say. "I know you won't hurt me again, but last time, it hurt a lot and it took a bit for it to get better that night."

"That's not the only thing I think about," he says laughing. "We can just go upstairs and go to sleep, you know." I smile and lay my hand on his chest gently pushing him over on his back. I shrug off the thick woolen blanket Peeta laid on my shoulder and lean over him.

"But I don't feel like going to bed yet," I say. "I'm not that afraid of laying beneath you again. I didn't suggest we meet this late at night and show up in nothing but this skimpy piece of fabric for nothing."

"Here?" He asks looking around us. I shrug.

"There's a storm raging outside," I say. "It's not like someone's gonna walk in on us. Besides," I lay on top him and interlace my fingers as I rest them on his chest. "I like the idea of making love to you in the flickering light of a fire." He brushes my messy hair away from my face and kisses me hungrily. I let him take control and he pushes me up enough to look at me. And we smile at each other. He slides his hands up my legs and underneath my nightgown. I let out a soft moan as his hands rest on my breasts. I pull the straps off my shoulders and let the fabric fall.

The rest of our clothing is strewn carelessly around us slowly. We take our time on each other. And even though I wouldn't change a thing about our first time, without our fingers shaking and the nervousness, we are able to take our time to enjoy each other's body's. the flaws and imperfections that while we might see in ourselves, they aren't noticeable through the passion we feel for each other in a moment like this. I feel complete when I'm with him.

Peeta kisses my neck softly as he eases into me and I'm relieved when no pain comes like last time. Instead I can just enjoy myself, holding the man I love as close to me as humanly possible. Our breaths grow heavy and I dig my horribly bit and chipped nails into his muscular back as I struggle to hold on.

"I'm sorry," I say breathlessly. "I just, I can't hold on much longer."

"Don't worry about it," he says. "I don't even feel it." It doesn't take much longer until we're a heaving mess on the floor struggling to catch our breath. Peeta pulls the blanket over me and I lay my head on his shoulder. He brushes my hair out of my face and kisses my forehead.

"I love seeing you like this," he says.

"Like what?" I ask. "Naked?"

"Without all that makeup and showy stuff," he says. "You look like you did back in that cave."

"Half dead?" I ask.

"No, after you got better," he says laughing. "I'm just saying, you're a lot prettier without all the bells and whistles they like to put on you."

"Well, I can say I like you better without all that gunk in your hair," I say. "I like you with curls." He kisses me gently and I curl myself close to his side.

"I love you," he says finally.  And I smile as I stare at the ceiling.

"I love you too," I reply and fall asleep with his arm holding me tight.

I just wish I knew that in the time of a few weeks, one of us would be fighting for our life. Maybe then, things wouldn't have turned out the way it did.

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