Katniss

I rush away from the party, the celebratory ball in honor of my engagement. I approach the train and feel someone grab my arm and pull me back from the steps. I turn to hit my attacker and see that it's just Peeta, with a very concerned look on his face.

"Katniss, calm down," he says. "It's just me." I just look at him. "Tell me what's wrong." I quickly turn and climb into the train. I hear his footsteps behind me as I hurry through the cars to my room. I try to slide my door shut but Peeta pushes it open. "Katniss, what the hell is going on?" I back away from him and start crying.

"We failed Pevta," I choke out. "He didn't fall for the story we played out tonight." I look at myself in the mirror and then look at my trembling hand, more importantly the giant hunk of cold, colorless, meaningless stone teasing me on my left hand. I pull it off and throw it at my reflection.

Peeta just stands in the doorway as I throw my tantrum and then walks over to me as I start to cry harder.

"Katniss, we always knew this was a long shot," he says.

"But all I wanted to do was protect the people I care about," I cry. "But that all just went away." I feel his hand on my shoulder and I lean against him.

"This is my fault," he says. "I shouldn't have let your anger drive me out. You may not have wanted me around, but you needed someone who could understand what was happening with you. If I had stayed by your side, we wouldn't have gotten ourselves stuck like this."

"We both got ourselves in this mess," I say, wiping a stray tear from my cheek. "And there's nothing else we can do to prove to Snow that we love each other." I feel him kiss my temple and then rest his chin on my head in a possessive, protective posture.

It's weird for me to let him do this. Even though I was the one to say I loved him first, I've still tried to set boundaries, to leave his embrace after a peaceful nights rest before he wakes up and except the night he found me clutching at a leg that wasn't there, I've tried to keep myself strong in his eyes. But right now, even though I know deep down he can't protect me from all the danger that seems to be looming ahead, I feel safer than I've ever felt in his arms.

"Are you scared?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he says. "Probably not as scared as you are, considering you're the only one I've got to lose and you have your family." I pull away from him and look at him.

"You have a family too," I say.

"Who turned on me when I didn't share my money when I came home," he says. "They've disowned me, Katniss. In my mind, my heart, you are my only family. And I'm fine with that."

I look at him. He looks at me. And for the first time, I honestly believe that he does love me. Even when he proposed to me, asked me to spend these last few weeks in his bed. I never truly believed he felt as much as he was showing. It had felt too much like the games, like it was an act in case someone saw. But now, I know by the look in his eyes that he's meant what he's been doing.

"You really mean that don't you?" I say.

"Of course I do," he says, laying his hand on my cheek. "You're all I have left who gives a damn about me and not just what I gained from the worst thing that happened to us. You are the only thing I have left that I care about."

I smile at him and pull him down to my level so I can kiss him. He kisses me back and I break away as I gasp from the restraint of the tight bodice

"I can't breathe," I say.

"Turn around," he says. I do and he kisses my cheek, then just below my ear, each kiss getting lower as his fingers unlace the tight ribbon holding the dress closed. I breathe easier than I did before, though I feel my heart racing as he stands and my dress starts to slide down under its own weight. I turn back to face Peeta as he kneels where he was. He slowly stands up and pulls me to him. I kiss him again and feel his hands resting lower on my hips. I push the suit jacket he wears off his shoulders and he stops and looks at me.

"Your heart is racing," he says.

"So is yours," I whisper. He brushes my hair away from my face and tips my chin up.

"Well, I just never thought a moment like this would ever come," he says. "Even being engaged, I didn't think that you'd ever kiss me like this, make me feel like this." I look down and see the moonlight peering in from the window reflecting off the plastic from my prosthetic. I let out a deep sigh. Peeta's eyes follow mine and he turns me around so I'm not able to set the way it shines so unnaturally.

"You can't just pretend I'm not a cripple," I whisper.

"You know that that doesn't mean anything to me," he says before making me look at him. "It will never mean anything to me, Katniss." I kiss him again and he starts backing me towards my bed. I sit down and start to unbutton his shirt and he shrugs it off after removing his tie.

He kneels in front of me and slips my feet out of the jewel encrusted slippers pinching my foot. He pushes the thin underskirt up and more delicately than a man his size looks like he'd be capable of, he unstraps the unfeeling leg from its place and then unties the strap that holds it in place from my waist. He then pulls the skirt down, leaving me in only underwear and the flexible corset they tied me into to help keep my form slim.

I slide further up the bed and Peeta climbs on top of me. He looks me up and down and brushes some of my hair off my shoulder. I run my hands down his sides and pull him closer to me. He kisses me again, but he's much more insistent this time. I follow the hem of his pants down and around to the front button. I hesitate and Peeta chuckles.

"You're a little anxious aren't you?" He whispers.

"I've never thought about this before," I say. "I know how this all works, but I, I just don't know what this moment is supposed to be like."

"However we want," he says. "As long as we are both okay what is happening." He lifts off me and rests on his knees. "You are okay with this right?" I sit up and take a deep breath.

"Yeah," I say. "I need the whole world to be just you and me right now. And if there's a better way to make that true right now than this, I really don't care."

He smiles and I kiss him again, reaching down and unfastening his trousers. He gently lays me back down and takes his pants off the rest of the way. I feel his hand resting on my middle and he runs his fingers up the hooks, stopping at the curve of my breast. He looks at me for permission and I reach up and unhook the first of the many clasps. He kisses me and then my chest and between the two pieces of cloth with each clasp, taking his good sweet time with me. His breath against my cold skin is warm and surprisingly calm for as much as his hands start to tremble towards the end of the garment.

"Are you okay?" I ask. "You've seen parts of me before, back in that cave and when we go to bed.

"I know that," he says. "But this is different."

"I know," I say. "But it's just me. We love each other so it doesn't matter."

I reach up and run my fingers though his thick hair and he finishes on my top. He looks up at me as the fabric falls lose and slowly eases himself back over me so we are facing each other and lays down on his side next to me.

He caresses my body softly his fingers tracing the curves and dips of my torso and stomach, which I'm a lot more confident about after having finally filled out having enough to eat every night for the first time in my life. But he doesn't look at what he's doing, just into my eyes. Some places he touches make me shiver and butterflies to flutter rapidly in my gut and I feel my legs pressing against each other.

Peeta gently kisses my temple as he slips his hand along the edge of my underwear. I catch my breath and he slowly slides the edge of the fabric down. He kisses me softly as he climbs back over me and finishes removing the garment. I feel his fingers feeling me and he gently presses one into me. I gasp and he gently moves the didget in and out of me, all the while kissing me sweetly.

I feel him lift off of me a little and the fabric of his undershorts slide against my leg as he removes them. I glance at his member briefly before he lays back against me. And for the first time I'm a little scared of actually making love to Peeta. Because even though I've seen women give birth before and knew that he'd fit inside me, the way it hurts as he puts another finger inside, I feel like it would be impossible for this not to hurt me. But as he eases me slowly, I feel myself relax and he gently extracts his fingers.

"Are you ready?" He asks. I nod and he kisses me softly as he reaches between us and guides himself towards wear he needed to press into me and eases himself in. I break the kiss and bite my lip as I feel something inside me tear and he sinks into me. I let out a small yelp and feel my nails dig into Peeta's back.

"I'm so sorry Katniss," he whispers. "I tried to be gentle, I really did." He starts to try to pull out but I stop him with my leg around his waist.

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" I squeak out. "Don't move. Just give me a second. I need to get used to it." He settles down on top of me, careful not to put all of the weight of his large frame on me.

"Is it bad?" He asks. I feel his hand resting against my head and he holds a piece of my hair between his fingers. I take a few deep breaths and soften my grip on his shoulders as the pain slowly starts to wain to a simple feeling of just being full.

"Not too bad," I reply. "It's better than it was, but it still hurts a little." I turn to look at his face as he plays with my hair. "How does it feel to you?"

"Good," he says softly. "Really good. Really different, but really good." I chuckle and reach up to touch his hand.

"You can move if you want," I say. "I'll be alright." He's hesitant, but I feel him slowly start to move against me, in and out in a way that start to cause a very pleasant friction inside me.

His hand grips mine next to my head as he holds my hip in place and begins to go a little faster. I start to make soft sounds and he kisses me fiercely as he makes love to me. He suddenly starts pushing into me harder and I feel the butterflies in my stomach turn into a raging inferno that spreads through my whole body. I feel my insides start squeezing Peeta and he groans and presses harder into, his breath growing heavier.

"Katniss, I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to hold on," he says between his heavy breaths.

"Me either," I gasp. I feel myself tighten against him one last time and then cry out as it feels like I've shattered into a million pieces and I grip onto Peeta tighter, crying out his name as I feel myself come unraveled. He seems to thrust harder and harder before giving one last powerful shove and holding me against him as he finishes, hissing my name in my ear and burying his face in my hair. I feel a warmth filling me from my core and a blush rushing to my cheeks as I realize I'm feeling his climax.

We slowly ease our grip on one another and I feel him ease out of me slowly, leaving some of the fluid he left in me to run out. He pulls the thick comforter around us and he rolls onto his back. I climb on his chest and feel my legs resting on either side of one of his. He brushes my sweaty hair out of my hair and looks at me with pure adoration. Reach my hand up and rest it on his cheek, feeling the small amount of stubble that's started to come through tickling my fingers. We kiss each other again, this time not so insistent. Just gently and sweet, sealing the unspoken promise that seemed to have been made between us.

"I love you," he says softly, his voice sounding hoarse and gruff but still like the boy I fell in love with.

"I love you too," I reply and I feel his arms wrapped around my bare, still glowing body.

We say nothing more. We don't need to. Because tonight we went beyond words. And as I fall asleep, the strong steady beat of his hear and rise and fall of his chest, it truly feels like there is no one on this earth beside me and the boy whose arms I lay in.

Little did I know, that before the sun rose on my seventeenth birthday, it wouldn't ever be like that again.