Review on CONVENANT By sisofthedevils

This book takes you through the life of Senora Gibson, as her life takes a huge turn after her elder brother gets to know she will be the heir to their parent's empire.

COVER 📘

Your cover is nice but will need a little touching. If I was scrolling past wattpad on a normal day, I may not give your book a second glance because your cover didn't win my attention. Sure it is a good story and all, but the cover is what draws the readers in. Also, no need to write @ before the author's name on your book cover.

A good book cover attract readers. It has to relate to the book in such a way that it grabs readers and inspires them to investigate further. To make a good book cover one has to think like a reader and not a writer. Put yourself in the shoes of a reader and ask, would I read this book, judging on the cover.

TITLE 📘

We have titles based off characters.
We have titles based off plots.
People also go for complex title.

Whatever the way you choose to name your book, it always has to be related. Also, like the cover book titles attract readers.

Convenant.

CONVENANT

This doesn't hold any drama, or suspence or anything that can catch my attention. I read your blurb and with what you wrote there, I think you could come up with something better.

The Inheritance
Family Feud
Bad Blood

This three titles I just mentioned also matches with the plot of your story. I am not saying you should use the titles I picked out. But with this tips and an even better book cover you will attract more readers to your book.

BLURB 📘

Your blurb was carefully detailed. I like how the first paragraph was enough to keep me reading and wanting to uncover more. Now the first two paragraph of your blurb was nice, but the last two got me confused, the place you wrote about WRECKERS and a Adrain Campbell could use a little touch, probably, you should rewrite that part again. Your first two paragraph and the last line was what drew me in and I suspect will draw other readers in too.

The tip to writing a good blurb is giving a reader what they want and starting with a hook. Once your first, second sentence or short paragraph doesn't grab them, they lose interest. You should always start your blurb with that hook to hold them.

DESCRIPTION 📘

Now, your description could use a little more, eh, description. You did describe things well enough but there were there things I was hoping to see or get the image of, that I didn't.

In your prologue rather than telling the readers that Senora was concerned, or nervous, you could show the readers, give them the image of that. You could use words like

Furrowed eyebrows
Biting of her lips
Droplets of sweat had formed on her forehead
She paced round the room

In your first chapter when Senora was throwing punches at the punching bag. Instead of just writing it, you could show her emotions or her body state to your readers

Sweat beads were rolling down her face.
Her breath was ragged.
Her eyebrows were lowered and grunts escaped from her lips after each punch she threw.

The act of showing and not telling, instead of telling the readers she was afraid or sad, you could show them

Quivering lips or trembling of the lower lips
Her eyes got glassy as the tears pooled.
Fast breaths

Or you can use words that links to emotions.

Instead of disgusted, spice up the words a bit.

Repelled
Awful

Your descriptions were good, I am not saying they were bad. But if you work more on them, you would help your readers get a better image and hook them in that moment.

PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR 📘

Your punctuations was nicely done. Your periods, commmas, exclamation point, question marks and the rest.

But no one is perfect and we still make mistakes in places.

There were places that you used a comma instead of a full stop or where you didn't put a comma where it was needed.

At a place you didn't put a quotation mark and at first I thought maybe you were writing with speed, but then you didn't fail to put the closing quotation in other places, I then realized it was because, maybe you thought the quotation wasn't needed there.
Here is the word

"Ye-

You didn't put the closing quotation because your character at that point got interrupted, but the fact is once there is an opening quotation, there must be a closing one, in any situation, it should be there.

Your grammar was good, at this place I would have to tell you good job, I hardly saw any grammatical errors. There were few, maybe caused by autocorrect or while you were writing with speed but you did a good work on that part.

But you did make the mistake of switching between present and past tense while writing.

She saw Adrian's face fell in dissapointment...

Should be fall, because it was happening at that moment. If you are going to use the word fell. You could rephrase the sentence saying

Adrian's face fell in dissapointment

In that way, the word fell would be appropriate.

Also, though, I suspect this mistake was the handwork of autocorrect. Where in places, I saw Movement instead of moment, quite instead of quiet. They were little but you should edit them to avoid confusion.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 📘

Now, this area could use a lot more work. Your characters were like all over the place. When I read the blurb, I got the impression of characters I could flow with, I reached Chapter 7 and I haven't gotten anything off your characters. The only person I know I could maybe connect to and have that readers-character bond with was Senora, and even her character sometimes pushed me away, her whole bad girl personality sometimes went over the top.

You kinda pushed all your characters into one little space, one moment I was seeing Jackie, Giselle, Veronica, Yolanda and so many others. Sometimes I had to go back and look for who was who in your book.

To make your readers flow more with your characters, you can make them more relatable, show weakness, flaws and failures (a perfect character with no flaw is unbelievable), try to show more of their personality.

OVERALL IMPRESSION 📘

Now, when I read the blurb of your story, I told you earlier, you got me hooked with the plot you have planned. But I didn't really see any of that "plot" till around chapter 9 of your book.

After the prologue where some actions happened, the rest of the story just went on with getting revenge on ex-boyfriend, party, giving surprises to...and other stuff that happened, my point is I didn't really get any of the action till chapter nine. Maybe you wanted the readers to settle in with the characters, before you brought in the drama. As your "readers" I didn't really settle in with your characters, you could have toned down on the amount you brought into your book, there were characters that the book would have done amazing without or that didn't even have any particular goal there.

You have a really nice plot going on, if you try to work on this thing your book will get even better, good luck.

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This review is to help you and nothing more, wishing you the best.