Stirring awake, I was greeted by darkness. That's a good sign. That same small voice started to count down. I didn't need a reminder to know what was waiting once she reached 0. I rubbed my one eye as the other adjusted to my moonlit room. Glancing at the clock on my nightstand, I saw it was a little past 3. The normal time, at least this time I didn't wake up screaming. I groaned and rolled to my side, putting my back to the nightstand.

Ten...Nine...Eight...

It was already too late, but I had to make an effort. Squeezing my eyes shut, I hopelessly tired to go back to sleep.

Three...Two...One.

I took a ragged breath. Dread filling my body, I knew what was coming.

Zero. The image of him had planted itself front and center.

The ticking time bomb that is my heart, detonated once again. You would think that after 123 wake ups of this, it wouldn't have me clenching my gray and purple comforter. Or, that they wouldn't leave me breathless and gasping.

Well, you're wrong.

As all the possibilities pounded around in my head. Where he was, or why he left, all took their turn chipping away. My heart took each thought and matched it with breaks, stabs, or drops. I was convinced it would finally just give out, one day soon. Or, maybe it was more liked I hoped it would.

After what felt like an eternity, I became numb, thankfully, that was all my tired and beaten brain needed to slip into slumber. Jokes on me though, if I thought I wasn't going to suffer.

My brain scrambled to keep up with the quick imagines it threw at itself. Nightmares are fun, aren't they? Something got a hold of my sleeping mind and jarred awake. I didn't bother opening my eyes, mainly waiting to see how this played out.

This would go on and repeat itself. Recurring nightmares and night terrors was one of David's parting gifts.

My days were usually spent the same ways as my nights. I could feel my sweat-soaked sheets under my body. Clinging to the back of my neck, feeling gross, I made a plan.

Shower time.

An out of place banging sound came from downstairs. I sighed and covered my head back up.

"Addison!" I could hear Lucy marching up the stairs.

"Yo, Addie!" She banged on my door.

"That's it! I'm coming in. Cover up if you don't want social media to see you naked." My door was all but kicked in.

I just mumbled some nonsense and rolled over, pulling my blanket over my head as I went. I felt hands grip the blanket by my feet.

Oh no, I knew what she was going to do. I curled my body up trying to collect as much of the blanket as I could and hold on for dear life.

Lucy yanked with all her might.

She might as well be a bull; the blanket was ripped off me. I sat up quickly and glared at Lucy.

"Alright, already," I snapped.

"Don't get snappy with me. We had school today." She put my blanket back on my bed in a crumpled up heap.

Well, thanks.

I didn't say a word as I went to my closet and pulled out the first things I saw. None of it mattered, anyway. I went to the bathroom attached to my room. The old floor under me groaned and creaked.

Lucy took it upon herself to join me in the bathroom as I showered.

You're not going to get away from me that easily and you know it." I could tell without looking at her that her hands were on her hips. I couldn't miss the triumph in her voice as she knew I was now cornered.

"Your parents are really worried about you. They even got my parents involved. It's been months and you're still acting like he just left." I just washed my hair and let her talk.

They all thought they knew what I was going through.

Okay, yeah people break up all the time. Sure, I know that. I also know that they've all dealt with it before.

But.

People don't lose their soulmates every day. They also don't just disappear, or move away without a word.

His family didn't even know where he went.

There was no note, no text, no phone call. Nothing, absolutely no explanation.

Yeah, that sucked. I got over it eventually. My main hang up now is I worry about him and his well being.

Oh, and I can't ever stop thinking about him. That's really annoying.

I banged on the glass door to let Lucy know I was coming out. She was kind enough to turn her back to me.

"I know what you're going to say, I need to just get over him," I said to her while I dried off. I wrapped my towel around my body and by-passed Lucy to go back to my room.

I got dressed in my closet, I ran my fingers through my lifeless, brown hair. I sighed, before gathering all of it in a bun on my head. I went to go out of my closet but Lucy's black-clad body was in the doorway.

She grabbed hold of my face and made me stare into her heavily dark lined, blue eyes. Those, unlike her black hair, were not natural. I have pictures that she made me hide, to prove it.

"You have got to snap out of it, please." Her voice was filled with emotion. Her eyes glistened when she said "please". I gave her a half smile and my normal response.

"I'm trying my best."

It was a total lie, I wasn't trying to move on at all. I've accepted this. This is my life now.

I gently pushed past my best friend, she almost didn't let me by. I sat on the edge of my bed and pretended to not notice the heart thawing desperation on my best friend's face. She took this chance to pull some papers from her bag and place them on my bed.

"Can you do your homework, at least?" She said more annoyed than I, was for having to ask. I shrugged at her.

"What does that even mean?" She threw her hands up in the air.

"It means probably not, Luce, don't worry." I headed out of my room, down the stairs and to the kitchen. Battling dream demons all day makes you hungry.

Knowing she would follow.

"Don't worry?!" I heard from the top of the stairs.

"All I ever do is worry and there is plenty to worry about; it's our senior year and you're slacking like never before. Yours and my parents are on my ass and I'm so stressed I'm flunking two classes." Her words jarred me. I didn't realize I was affecting her life so much. I was in the middle of pouring milk into my cereal. When I snapped back into the moment milk was all over the counter.

"Since you refuse to do something about it, I will." With that, she marched out of the kitchen.

Well, what does that mean? I raced out the door after her.

My mind begins running a thousand miles a minute, emotions swirl into a nasty black mess. I couldn't keep the slight edge of hysteria from Lucy's coming up with a hair brain idea away. I sat and the table and munched on my still crunchy sugary puffs. I noticed that it was dark enough that my parents would be home soon.

I slip on my handy dandy depression blinders. Not only do they keep my focus on just what's in front of me, as I park myself on the couch but they also stop me from caring about almost anything.

If you want a pair of your very own just got to get your heart broken, its that easy.

"I'll be here to take you to school in the morning was all Lucy said the entire time we watched our normal shows. 

This is a rewritten chapter!!! I am a lot happier with this one I hope it finally coveys what I'm going for. If you notice anything off the wall or out of place please just me a line. I tried to get it all and I think I did but you know how it goes. 

Thank you to anyone who has given me feedback on this chapter it all was taken into consideration and my appreciation is endless. Also thank you to you, the reader for giving this odd ball story of mine a chance. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do writing it.