Here's nearly 5000 words about depression hehe

EDIT: TW DEPRESSION IS A THEME THROUGHOUT

https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-having-difficult-time/if-you-want-self-harm/

https://www.stonewall.org.uk/help-and-advice

All of the Batkids were getting antsy with the lockdown. They were used to high adrenaline situations every night and seeing one another once a week aside from Damian who saw his father and butler every day usually. Casework was running thin and they very soon found out they had nothing to do. Some of them trained more, some of them just accepted their fate and others complained to no end. The one resounding outlook was this: lockdown was a bitch. However, if it wasn't for lockdown, they may not have found out what they had so it wasn't all bad. Still a bitch though. 

Breakfast was loud as usual but it was missing the second voice telling Damian he couldn't strangle Tim at the dinner table. Cass was first to notice the lack of another commanding voice, one that would arguably do better than the first, and looked to where it usually came from. Dick's place at the table had remained empty. She raised an eyebrow at this and she nudged Jason to get his attention. He spared her a glance and she directed his eyes to the empty seat with a questioning look. Jason's room was one of the closest to Dick's, Damian's being the other closest but he was rather wrapped up right now, so he would know if the absence was purposeful or not. "I didn't hear him get up," he told her. She frowned to herself and got up from the table. It would save Alfred the job and he was rather preoccupied with the ravenous siblings. She walked upstairs and knocked on the acrobat's door. Inside she could hear the faint sound of the TV so she assumed that was the reason she didn't get a call to come in. She covered her eyes just in case he was in a compromising position and went in. "Breakfast?" she asked.

"Not going," Dick mumbled. 

"Hungry?"

"No. I'll get something later," he replied. She wasn't particularly happy with that answer but this was Dick. He was twenty-five so if he wanted to do something then he could. If he decided he couldn't deal with how loud breakfast was today, she wasn't going to force him down. "Okay. Tell Alfred," Cass informed him. The butler would only worry if he didn't know why one of his "grandkids" was absent from the table. 

"I will."

Lunchtime rolled around and Alfred decided to make Dick more food since he'd skipped out on breakfast. Around this time, he would be training alongside Damian and Steph but the butler was surprised to see he wasn't there. "Where's Master Dick?" he asked, handing the younger pair their lunches. 

"He never came down," Steph told him. "We just thought he was with someone else?" Alfred hummed and decided to give everyone else their lunches before going on the hunt for the eldest sibling. He checked everywhere, the garden, the library, the dining room, and even the attic. He then went to Dick's bedroom. It was the last place simply because Dick avoided spending a lot of time in there during the day. He explained it helped him sleep better by associating his bedroom purely with sleep rather than any work. So when he found Dick still in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling whilst the TV played its fifth rerun of Judge Judy. "Master Dick? Are you feeling okay?" 

"I'm just tired," he answered. His voice was croaky as though he'd been crying for a while. Alfred walked to the side of the bed and left his lunch on the bedside table. When he got closer, he could see the tear stains on the acrobat's face. He couldn't force anything out of the young man but he had to do something. He couldn't just leave the room without pushing a little further. "Are you sure? You look more than just tired."

"I wanna be left alone," Dick responded quietly. His eyes never once left the ceiling though it looked like he was staring right through it. 

"Alright well, I expect you down for dinner. I don't want you up here all alone for the entire day. Try to eat some of your lunch, okay?" He got a soft grunt in response and sighed to himself before exiting the room.

Dinner time was tense as they all waited for Dick to join them. Word has gotten around the house that the acrobat was acting oddly and none of them liked that. It was rather surreal to have him be so distant and spend such little time with them but then again maybe he was getting tired of how high energy they all were. They were a handful and when you went from living on your own to living with so many people it could be too much, you'd be tired too. "He's not okay, is he?" Steph stated on behalf of everyone. No one wanted to be the one to admit it but she just had to. They couldn't just sit there and pretend everything was okay. If it were okay and Dick was tired then he would've at least showed up at breakfast to let them know today was a no-contact day. They wouldn't be nearly as worried if he had done that. Not to mention how could he be that tired when he wasn't going out every night. They'd been cooped up for ages and he always had spare energy. How could he suddenly lose all that energy to the point where he was stuck in bed all day? "He's just tired," Bruce stated but he sounded like he was lying. Well, it sounded like lying to everyone at that table but to anyone else he would've sounded completely normal. Unfortunately, they all knew each other's tells and he was silently telling them a different story. "Grayson had moments like this when I was in his care," Damian announced as though to draw out an explanation. Unlike his father, he hadn't lied. Dick had indeed secluded himself for about two days or so when he was looking after Damian but he still came out for patrol although he was unlike himself. More like Batman if anything. He guessed that without the need to go on patrol there would be no need to force himself out of the room. After the few days of odd behaviour, Dick was back to himself but wouldn't speak about it. Often if the topic was brought up he'd change it immediately or pretend he had a call to answer despite his phone never going off. "Why?" Cass asked. He shrugged. 

"He never said anything about it. At the time I suspected it was due to his parents' passing but then it happened again for no particular reason that I could discern."

"Master Bruce, I think it would be wise to let them know what's going on. We don't know how long these episodes last and they'll have to know eventually," Alfred pitched in as he placed plates of food down. He'd saved some food for Dick but he was well aware he wouldn't be joining them that evening unless there was some sort of miracle. Everyone's eyes flickered over to him then back to Bruce, staring at him expectantly. The billionaire sighed to himself before deciding on what else to do. He nodded to himself briefly. "Dick has depression and despite being on medication along with receiving therapy, he has days where he is like this. It's like he is devoid of energy and motivation without having a reason. It's just something that happens and he chooses to seclude himself when this occurs," he explained as best he could. 

"Why would he not tell us? All of us are fucked one way or another," Jason replied bluntly. Everybody in this business had some sort of depression, PTSD, anxiety and pretty much everything else that comes with saving the world. It wasn't too surprising that someone who'd been in the job since they were a child was now experiencing depression. "Haven't you met him?" Tim asked. "He hides anything he believes to be a weakness of sorts. Wonder who taught him that?"

"I made mistakes, yes, but I tried to fix the damage I caused so don't start," Bruce snapped. 

"Mhm sure. Great work making the same mistakes multiple times-"

"Let's not start this Master Tim," Alfred interjected. "How about we keep the conversation on the previous topic?" The younger huffed and ate something to shut himself up otherwise they'd be having a rather long argument that wouldn't do much more. 

"What do we do?" Cass asked. She didn't like the thought of her brother being cooped upstairs all alone. He didn't want to be alone, surely he mustn't. He was feeling bad so he needed something to make him feel better.

"There's not much you can do," Bruce answered.

"But there must be something," Steph insisted. 

"Look, Dick is a grown man. If he wanted something to make him feel better, he needs to ask for it. He hasn't so there mustn't be. Now eat your dinner. There's no use dwelling on it," their mentor stated sternly. They glared at him but did what they were told aside from actively dwelling on it. 

The next day was the same story and the siblings weren't going to let it happen again. Cass and Steph knocked on Dick's door, maintaining the knocking until they heard him call for them to come in. They weren't going to let him get away with saying he was tired. They knew what he needed and it wasn't staying in his room all day. They'd given him a chance for half the day but when he yet again skipped lunch, their plan sprung into action. The girls walked into his room, finding his now two untouched lunches. There was the smallest piece of the crust of a sandwich missing but that wasn't nearly enough to keep him well. Dick was in bed, the covers pulled up over his head so they couldn't see his face. All they could tell was that he was curled up underneath the red sheets. He sniffled a few times and they had to wonder what they walked in on. "Come with us," Cass ordered. He shook his head.

"Sorry Blue Bird but you're coming with us no matter what. You're not allowed to wallow in here all day," Steph told him. He let out a groan and tightened the sheets covering his face. There was no sign that he was moving but they weren't going to let him stay there. "Are you clothed?" He nodded. "Welp you made your own grave with that." The pair split up and grabbed a corner of the bedsheet each. They quickly pulled off Dick's makeshift cocoon, revealing him in shorts and a vest. This exposed his scarred arms and legs but also made them see small cuts that looked irritated as though they couldn't heal. Given that Dick didn't have an issue with his body healing, it was quite obvious he'd been active in forcing them not to heal. "Girls," he whined, dragging out the s. 

"You need human contact dumbass," Steph insisted. He made a low huff at that and tried to hide his face in his pillow which both of them noticed was damp. "C'mon dude. Even if you're still just as depressed you at least got out of bed. That's an achievement." 

"Please?" Cass asked. He sighed and sat up but he looked like he was on autopilot. 

"You don't want to hang out with me. I'm just gonna be a downer," he insisted.

"And Damian threatens to kill us every five seconds but that doesn't stop us," Steph pointed out. He hummed to himself rubbed at his bloodshot eyes. Tear tracks marked his face and he looked pale, almost sick. "Think you're up for a shower?" A beat of silence went by before he nodded unsurely. "Good on you. We'll come back when you're done and drag you downstairs if we have to." 

"Thanks."

The shower lasted around an hour which was rather odd since he usually spent thirty minutes in there at the most. Though it felt like the shower would never end, it eventually did and the girls once again went to his room whilst their brothers put the finishing touches to the surprise. Dick changed into new clothes which weren't too dissimilar to what he'd been wearing previously and a few of his cuts were bleeding. "I know it's redundant but are you alright?" Steph asked. He nodded and forced a smile for them but it made them more worried than reassured. He seemed to notice this and stopped smiling. "That obvious?" he asked. They didn't need to nod for him to know the answer. Cass quickly strode over and grabbed his hand, leading him out the room. He seemed reluctant to leave. Although he knew this was his home and he was safe here, it felt like a massive risk to leave the confines of his room. They noticed him tense up as they got closer to the doorway. "It's okay," Cass assured him. "We're here."

"I know," he mumbled. Steph took his other hand.

"And we're not leaving." They pulled him through the doorway and he didn't look too happy. His eyes darted around the hallway, almost like he was scanning for any dangers yet he knew there wouldn't be. This was one of the most secure places he could live. He should be grateful for that. They brought him downstairs which was yet another big step for some reason he couldn't discern. He passed Bruce's office on the way to the mystery location and his chest tightened when he caught eyes with the man inside. His mentor was surrounded by paperwork as he typed something on the computer with the phone on speaker. He stood dead in his tracks, catching his sister's attention. They were talking the pair supposed. In that eye language all of them knew yet it seemed to differ from person to person. It was sort of like how the speedsters could talk a million miles an hour at times but sometimes one of them struggled to catch every word of it. Cass made out the odd bits. Dick asked if he was okay. Bruce said yes. He asked if he was coming to whatever this was. The older said no. He asked why but at that point he looked defeated. He sighed and glanced to the door, getting a nod so he shut it. He pulled the door closed and stared at the wood for a few moments as that familiar sting attacked his eyes. "Dick?"

"I want to go back to bed," he replied quietly. He tried to slip his hand out of their grasp but they just tightened their hold. They'd gotten so far and he'd done so well, why did he have to give up now?

"Not yet," Cass told him firmly.

"Plus you've come so far already. Just come with us-"

"Are you doing this because you have nothing else to do?" he asked. 

"We're doing this because you need contact but you won't ask for it. We know you Dick. You're not going to get any better in your room but we know you won't get any worse sitting with us," the blonde assured him. She moved and linked arms with him, hoping the closeness would help him understand. He relaxed a little at that. Cass copied her and they managed to get him moving again. Bruce was going to get it later.

They finally managed to get him to the cinema room where his brothers were. They quietly arguing amongst themselves, well quiet for them, but stopped when they heard the trio. "Nice of you to finally join us," Jason greeted. The older hummed as he was brought to his seat. Of course it was in the middle of his two most protective siblings - Cass and Damian. He couldn't help but notice the younger gaze at the cuts. He wished he'd brought a jacket. The thought had slipped his mind. He chose to take his arms off the armrests and keep them close to himself to hide the majority of the injuries. He didn't like the looks he was getting at all. "Do you want anything to eat? We've got some snacks ready?" Tim asked.

"M not hungry. Thank you though," he replied.

"You've got to be hungry, you haven't eaten in nearly two days," Steph pointed out. 

"Oh," was all he said. "I'm just not all that hungry. I'll have something later."

"I'll hold you to that Grayson. Now let's watch some insufferable movie you enjoy."

"You don't have to."

"Already set it up," Tim revealed. He pressed play on the movie and hoped maybe after a while Dick would relax.

They spent hours watching movies but it seemed like Dick wasn't even there. His eyes were fixed on the screen but they weren't watching. They were just staring off at something. He brought his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them. He never really relaxed either. He was less stiff if anything but he looked uncomfortable. He was biting his nails a lot and they caught him picking at the scabs on his arms. Damian was the one to softly tap his hand to get him to stop. It was disheartening to see that their plan wasn't working all that well. They thought distracting him would be enough but maybe they needed to talk about what was going on. "Dick, can I ask you something?" Tim asked. They were between movies right now and hadn't chosen their next one yet so it was the perfect time to grab his attention. The acrobat shifted unhappily before nodding. "Do you know why you feel sad?" He stayed quiet which Tim wasn't going to take as an answer. "We feel the same as you do on some days too but sometimes we have a trigger."

"You may as well answer him Goldie or he'll keep going. It's the price you pay for detective siblings," Jason pitched in. Dick sighed and let his legs down. He stared at his hands as he picked at his nails that were near chewed to bits now. His fingers looked sore too from the constant picking.

"I was let go from the force. Too many days off and there were complaints of favouritism within the department. On paper, it says I was just let go and there's a good recommendation so it's not like I'll never get a job again it's just that..." his sentence trailed off. "I thought I was doing good."

"You were doing good Grayson. You were just unable to commit to both your nightly duties and your daily duties," Damian assured him. 

"But I'm supposed to be able to do both! I could get through school well enough but I couldn't do that with my job? Now I'm a burden on Bruce again."

"What makes you think you're a burden in the first place?" Steph asked.

"You know why. I got told I was some charity case for half my life and I was so sure that when I left for Jump City I would leave that behind and it would just be me living without Bruce. Now I'm in my twenties being a depressed douche living off his money and soon it might not even be because of the pandemic! Being Nightwing doesn't pay and I could always go back to stripping but he was always so disappointed in me doing that. Things have gone to shit and I'm going to need his financial help when that's the last thing he needs right now. How am I not a burden?"

"Because he fostered you-"

"Exactly! He fostered me! He didn't adopt me, he fostered me." Everyone went quiet. He couldn't stand the atmosphere he'd made so he got up and walked out, practically running back to his room once he was out of view. His siblings sat there wondering what they could do next. They didn't have any ideas.

Tim was sneaking out of his room to get a cup of coffee at the ungodly hour of 3 am when he noticed Dick standing in the hallway. He raised an eyebrow at this since the acrobat was leaning against the bannister as though there was something on the ground floor but there wasn't. "Dick? You feeling okay?" he asked. There's no response and he has half the mind to shrug off the experience but then Dick climbed up onto the bannister. "Dick? What're you doing?" He just sits there for a few moments, his legs swinging over the edge. It's then when the younger notices that his eyes are closed. Shit, he was sleepwalking. It wasn't often that he did sleepwalk but when he did, it was bad. It only happened when he was extremely stressed. Tim couldn't blame him for being stressed. There was a global pandemic, he'd just been fired, he could lose his apartment, he'd have to live off Bruce for a while, he couldn't patrol and he was stuck in a house full of chaotic siblings who would gladly break the no-kill rule if you so much as drank some of their juice. The coffee errand quickly turned into a rescue mission as the night owl cautiously crept up to his brother. "Heyyyy," he greeted awkwardly. "Why don't you come down from there?" The silence he got was in no way relieving. He reached out to touch Dick's hand but thought better of it. If he scared the older then he may fall 12 feet in his sleep and that would be no fun. He debated knocking on someone's door to see if he could get them to help but he hears Dick mumble something. "What was that?"

"M goin," he replied. In the space of five seconds this awkwardly dangerous situation turned completely dangerous and now a 5ft 5 sleep deprived teenager was holding onto a 5ft 10 sleepwalking dumbass who is about to throw himself off the edge. Tim held onto him for dear life, trying to ignore the mumbles and grumbles of protest. Dick wasn't awake enough to understand the situation, still deep in his sleep despite the tugging. "Fuck this!" the younger wheeze. It's way too early to be dealing with this. Well late since he hadn't slept yet. Whenever it was, it was not the time to be dealing with his brother. He gave one final tug and finally got the young man down which made them both hit the ground with a thud.

This thud woke up the rest of their sleep resistant siblings but Dick clearly wasn't done with his wandering tonight. He was already making his way to the stairs by the time Steph helped up Tim. Damian ran towards the eldest and grabbed him before he could walk down the steps. There was no way he was chancing that. He could tell Dick was sleepwalking by the way he looked. Too loose but also tense. "'S bad," he mumbled back. 

"What're you doing out of bed?" Bruce asked, peeking out from his bedroom. He looked exhausted but was on too thin of ice for that to be taken into account. None of them had really forgiven him for keeping their sibling's depression from them and almost blaming him for not being able to ask for help. "Dick's wandering," Tim snapped. 

"No 's bad," said hero muttered in distress. Damian shushed him gently. 

"Grayson it's okay."

"Jobless."

"Jobless?" Bruce repeated. 

"He lost his job. Only told us today. He's pretty upset about having to get some sort of financial aid," his son replied. "Though we assured him he wouldn't be some sort of burden, it seems being labelled as a charity case and his lack of adoption is making our opinions redundant." He tightens his hold on his eldest brother as he begins to get restless. It seemed he had somewhere to be. Sometimes it would be funny when he sleepwalked but it'd only been funny when they didn't know how stress made him walk about at night. "Right," Bruce said but it's more to himself than to them. He strides over to Dick, the smaller facing down the hallway. "Let's get you to bed chum."

"Noooo," he whined. "Gotta go."

"Everyone get back to bed, I've got this." He gained a sceptical look off all of them but they went to bed all the same. Well everyone except Damian did which wasn't too unexpected. He kept a tight hold of his brother. 

"Father, I can take him to bed without your help."

"I know but you need some sleep too, don't you? I can handle this," he replied. Dick grew much too restless of standing there and managed to pull away so he could walk to the bottom of the hallway where there was a window and a cushioned sill so they could sit there whilst looking out on the property. It hadn't been there when Bruce was a boy but when Dick made a habit of sitting there, waiting for him to come home, they made it a little comfier to sit there so he wouldn't get bruises from how hard it was. "No. You can't. Cain told me of how you ignored him today and your comments on how he's a "grown man" who should ask for help if he needs it haven't left my mind either. You've been a dickhead in every sense of the word."

"Don't cuss," was all Bruce could argue. The younger rolled his eyes. "I'm stressed Damian. I don't have time to juggle my company and him."

"You told us not to dwell! You actively discouraged us from helping him!"

"You can't help him! If he is depressed, he will remain that way!" 

"How would you know? You never even tried! Grayson deserves for us to try and not be brushed off as less than!" They heard a creak of floorboards and paused their fighting. Dick had gotten back up and was now laying on the floor. Bruce sighed and walked over to him, picking him up off the floor. He was always oddly light for a musclar young man and it never sat well him. The younger immediately nuzzled into him. He guessed his walkabout tonight had been a search for some comfort. "Bed Damian. I've got this."

"Fine but you better stay with him. You have no reason not to."

With that, the teen stormed off and slammed his door shut. Bruce huffed at the reaction and looked down to the man in his arms. He looked so young. Maybe that was because he'd hardly changed. He still had those big baby blues and that smile that could brighten the darkest of days. There were just more lines on his face, more scars that scattered his body. He carried Dick to his bedroom, it hadn't changed since his childhood per his request, and placed him on the bed. The sleepwalking acrobat was no where near happy about being put back in bed and tried to get up to continue his adventure around the manor before Bruce spoilt his fun by pushing him back down. "You have to stay here chum. It's bedtime."

"Bed...bed sleep?" he asked. Bruce wasn't quite sure what he meant but he was staying put so he went along with that.

"Uh yea? It's sleep time."

"'M sorry," he mumbled as he got comfortable. The billionaire sat on the edge of the bed with an inquisitive look. 

"Sorry for what chum?"

"Money 's job gone." From that, he deciphered that he was sorry for losing his job and not having money. He guessed the feeling of being a financial burden plagued the man even in his sleep.

"It's okay. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

"Dad?"

"I'm here."

"G'night."

"Goodnight Dickie."

The next morning, Dick forced himself to go to breakfast. He couldn't stand the thought of everyone worrying about him any longer. He rubbed his eyes tiredly as he stumbled along to the dining room, taking his regular place next to Bruce on the side closest to the doorway. "Have fun on your midnight wander?" Jason asked. He stared at his brother blankly before he understood what he said. 

"Uh probably? Always the adventurer I suppose."

"Are you feeling any better?" Tim asked.

"Well I want to throw myself off a building without a grappling hook but lockdown has put a stop to those," he answered. Despite the dark nature of his comment, it brought a light atmosphere to the table. It was nice to see him getting sassy again. Alfred served him a bigger portion because he was 100% sure the acrobat hadn't eaten for the last two days and that was simply unacceptable. "So how long did I walk about last night?"

"I found you at 3amish. You tried to jump off the top floor. You would've been a bird pancake," Tim informed him.

"Can't imagine why I wanted to do that. Did I say much?"

"You said you were jobless," Bruce told him. All the colour drained from his face in the space of 30 seconds. He opened his mouth to say something but his mentor put his hand up to hush him. "You've hardly touched your trustfund, you're having that whether you like it or not. You can stay here even when quarantine is over."

"Bruce it's fine. I don't want to burden-"

"You're my child. Not a burden. I want no more push back on the matter," he insisted. "I also owe you an apology. You were depressed and I didn't do the most I could've done to help. I'm lucky your siblings picked up the slack."

"Thanks B."

"You're still a dickhead."

"Damian!"