Idk why I like doing emotionally supportive teen titans helping Robin but it makes me happy and i need that in my life

TW: DEPRESSION IS A THEME THROUGHOUT

Raven never understood how Robin knew so well what it was like to be in her mind on her bad days. He almost had a sixth sense for it so when she woke up, he'd already distracted Beast Boy with a task that would take up the majority of the morning so he didn't overwhelm her with how boisterous he could be. He'd also head most of the conversations so Raven didn't have to interact very much and didn't say anything when she needed to suddenly leave to recollect herself. Most of the time, he'd leave her to her own devices but almost every time she wished she wasn't on her own yet didn't have the energy to go out and find people to surround herself with, he'd be there at his door with a hot drink and ask if she wanted to hang out. Their version of hanging out usually meant he was researching and collecting info whilst she read or meditated not far from him. It was low energy but quenched her need to be with people. She never questioned how he knew what she needed, how he knew when she didn't want to be around people or when she said she didn't want to be when she really did, why he even did this for her in the first place. It never occurred to her to do much more than acknowledge his actions, throwing him a soft "thanks" every now and then. He didn't ask for anything in return, only giving a nod when he received that small piece of appreciation but she noticed his slight surprise upon hearing it. Thinking about the way Gotham was, she presumed his knowledge came from a mix of victim management Batman taught him and perhaps having some classmates who dealt with the same problems she did only without the demonic capabilities. Eventually, she'd get her answer as to why he could understand and know her so well. She didn't like it one bit.

That morning, Raven had woken up to a nice state of calm. It was happening more often now that she was more comfortable with the arrangements made living with the team and she was pleased to find she'd been graced with it for another morning. She got up and went through her regular routine before dawning her cloak and heading to the kitchen. There she found her fellow teammates, bar Robin who was missing from the heroes rubbing the sleep out of their eyes. She hardly noticed it at first given that it wasn't usual for him to be intermittent at breakfasts thanks to his strict training protocol. It depended on whether today was a high-intensity day in the gym but there was no set schedule for that. So she made her way to make a bowl of cereal amongst the others who were going about their own mismatched meals. "Did you see Rob in the hallway?" Cyborg asked passingly. She shook her head and put on the coffee machine for when the teen eventually reared his head. He hummed to himself but didn't expand upon his question so she let it go. 

"I did not hear him wake up this morning," Starfire commented, hearing his question. 

"You hear him get up?" Beast Boy asked.

"I hear his door open and close," she explained. "I did not hear it this morning."

"Maybe he's sleeping in," the younger offered. 

"Or he's hiding an injury again," Cyborg huffed. "Lemme check the footage from last night." He went quiet for a moment as he used his connection to the computer to fast forward through the security cameras only to let out a disconcerted hum. The others looked to him and waited patiently for his explanation but they started to get nervous when he took longer than expected. "That's weird."

"What is?"

"He didn't go out last night." Raven's calm feeling immediately dissipated and she mentally recited her chant to calm herself down. He never missed patrol without good reason. She thought back to last night and went over her memories to try and pick out something but she wasn't concentrating on his behaviour so she came up blank. Last night felt so normal that the details had already been thrown out after sleeping. Looking around, she saw her friends were similarly uncomfortable with the revelation. "He went to his room before us." That only made matters worse because he didn't go to bed early willingly. 

"Should we go check on him?" Starfire asked unsurely.

"He probably just crashed," Cyborg replied. "He's been going pretty hard lately. If he doesn't leave his room before lunch, we'll go check but for now, let's leave him be." Something about that didn't feel right but none of them went against him. They got on with their breakfast.

Robin felt silly for where he was now. He was stuck in bed, unable to get up to get food or go to sleep to escape the dark cloud that loomed over him. He'd felt the cloud coming from a mile away so he worked extra hard that week to make up for this very situation but he still felt awful about not being able to complete work. How dare he take a night off? Batman hadn't taken a night off voluntarily since Robin was first at the manor. Even then, they were hardly voluntary when Robin was going through the grieving process along with night terrors. What was keeping Robin from doing his job? A few memories. To him, it felt trivial to be unable to get up because he was remembering a few incidents but if it were happening to anyone else he'd be completely understanding. The one memory that was sticking particularly hard this time was being beaten near to death. Phantom pains kept pricking his arms and he kept running through the panicked thoughts that raced through his mind at that point. There was something so strange about coming to terms with your death and then living afterwards. It was like preparing for a punch in the face but it never happens. Never that morbid sense of relief. Now he had to live with that experience. He had to remember the sounds of his bones breaking, his skin tearing, the guilt wrapping around him for even daring to play Two Face's stupid game. He should've known better but he didn't. Robin was taken from him not long after but returned to him when Batman realised it wouldn't be easy to tear his ward from his vigilante persona. Yet Batman did it again, surprised when the outcome was basically the same only Robin was with a team now. He didn't need to go back to being who he wanted. After all that, here was the great boy wonder. The most he'd done since going to his room the night before was take a shower but most of that was spent on the floor with his knees against his chest as he listened to the pattering of water. Then he'd gotten into boxers and climbed into bed where he'd remained. He stayed there as he heard the tower come to life when everyone woke up and stopped all the alarms that he made to keep him on a schedule. His stomach grumbled but he didn't have the drive to get food. It would be nice given he'd started to get hungry around four in the morning but he couldn't leave his bed so he willed himself to close his eyes and try to sleep despite that not working all night. A guy could hope.

Hours went by and still, there had been nothing from Robin. He hadn't left his room and they were beginning to get worried when they realised he hadn't eaten very much last night. It wasn't like he'd starve by missing breakfast after a light dinner the night before but it wasn't healthy either. He wasn't a big presence in the tower yet he was greatly missed when he wasn't there to remind them of the day's schedule and let them know when he'd be too busy to talk. Maybe he'd taunt one of them or offer some sparring practice. If they were lucky, they'd haggle with him to get him out with them to buy groceries. When he wasn't there for his usual reasons, they didn't feel that gap but they knew he wasn't there because he was still in his room for reasons unknown. There was something ominous about it. "Do you think he's sick?" Beast Boy thought aloud. "He can eat as much as me but last night he didn't seem hungry."

"I'm checking on him," Raven announced, finding she couldn't wait around much longer. Breakfast was over and all they'd done so far is linger in the kitchen, waiting for something to happen when nothing was. "I'd rather know what's going on than play Schrodinger's cat all morning."

"We'll come with you," Cyborg said on behalf of his teammates. She nodded and led the charge to Robin's room. She was the one to knock on their leader's bedroom door and she fought every urge to not portal inside when it felt like an eternity had passed as they awaited an answer. 

All in all, it took five minutes for the door to finally slide open and revealed Robin. He was maskless and wore a much too big t-shirt for some unknown band with high school basketball shorts. His hair hadn't been brushed and stuck out at all angles but what truly stuck out with the dead on his feet look he had. Dark circles beneath his eyes lept out at them and his half-lidded stare made their chests tighten with worry. Despite spending so much time in his room presumably asleep, his sleep was either incredibly restless or he hadn't gotten any at all. "Hey," he greeted croakily. "Something wrong?"

"You, by the looks of it," Cyborg commented. The teen rubbed his eyes with a small nod, a tired sigh leaving him almost involuntarily.

"Didn't sleep well."

"Seems it," Raven replied. "You missed breakfast." He hummed. Any hope they had that he was alright and just catching up on sleep went out the window. He was never this quiet without reason and given they weren't on a stakeout, he shouldn't be so quiet. There was this spacey look to his eyes too. As though he was looking at them but not truly seeing them. "Are you okay?" 

"Fine," he responded. Evidently not.

"You don't seem fine." He hummed again.

"Did you come here to grill me or is there something else?"

"As I said, you missed breakfast and you haven't left your room since last night," she explained. He grew uncomfortable at the suggestion they'd been looking through security footage for him and took a step back into his room. She narrowed her eyes at him, feeling a sense of deja vu. 

"Wasn't hungry."

"Then why didn't you come for coffee since you're so tired? You basically live off the stuff especially when you're sleep-deprived," Cyborg inquired. He shrugged again, eyeing the button to shut the door. That deja vu was getting stronger as the conversation continued but she couldn't put her finger on why. "C'mon man, we know something's wrong. Just tell us what it is."

"I'm gonna try to sleep," Robin announced, not answering the question. In fact, he wouldn't answer any further questions either as he shut the door in their faces. 

"Robin," Starfire huffed, knocking on the door again. "You cannot spend all day in your room." That's what jumped out at Raven, allowing her to realize why it felt so familiar. She was usually on the other side of the door. She was the one who was exhausted simply from existing, unable to properly communicate how she was feeling because it took the strength she didn't have. 

"Star, don't," she said. "He's having a bad day."

"But his day has not even started!" she argued.

"It's like my bad days," she explained. "Like yours when you miss home." The alien made a small o shape with her mouth when she realised and looked longingly at the door. She then looked to Raven expectantly, as though she'd have all the answers for the situation. "We'll be in the living room if you need us," she announced. There was no response to her but she didn't expect there to be. 

Eventually, Robin left his room but it was a good few hours later. Hunger had driven him out rather than his want to be around people. He looked just as dishevelled as he had when his team knocked on his door that morning, if not somehow worse. He silently walked through the group to the kitchen, not greeting anyone. They didn't take too much offence to it though. "Hey Rob," Cyborg greeted, spotting his leader just staring at the fridge. The younger hummed in acknowledgement. "I can make you something if you want?"

"No, it's fine," he said quickly. "Just uh."

"Overwhelmed by choices?" Raven pitched in. He nodded with embarrassment and stared at the fridge for a little longer, waiting for something to jump out yet nothing looked even remotely edible. It didn't help that there were flashes of the most stomach-churning images in his mind that would put off anyone from eating. "Let him make you something."

"Honestly, it's fine. I'll just eat later." Not that he'd be any hungrier later if those grotesque memories kept popping up. He decided on a meal of coffee because that was about the only thing he could consistently stomach. Thank God for the coffee machine making his life just that tiniest bit easier. He didn't know what it was but when he clicked it on, he suddenly felt out of breath as though someone had punched him right in the stomach. He tried not to make it obvious that his chest was tightening and he was gripping onto the counter for dear life. Why did this have to happen when he just wanted a drink? Squeezing his eyes closed didn't help either, only giving a black backdrop to the memories that had been plaguing him for the best part of the day. He tried pushing it away and counting to five so he could slow his increasingly rapid breathing but he found himself remembering how many times he was struck, now counting the hits than the seconds. Two-Face looked so pleased with himself. Who was that pleased about hurting a kid? How could you be when not long before you'd been a respected lawyer? He decided open eyes would be better but when he opened his eyes there were small black dots invading his vision. How long had he been unable to get his breathing under control? Too long. Should he ask for help? A whimper escaped him as he tried to call someone over so there went calling someone. Maybe he should sit on the floor. He slid down the cabinets until he found the cold tile floor and pressed his hands flat against it. 

"Robin?" he heard Raven ask. He turned to her, finding that she was standing just at the end of the kitchenette. She gave him an empathetic look before walking closer to him and sitting on her knees beside him. "Take your time. Deep breaths." He felt like he stared at her for a good minute before he actually took in what she said. "Remember? In for four, hold for five, then out for six?" Numbly nodding along, Robin tried to do as he was told. 

It took a few minutes for him to finally catch his breath and in that time, his team had gradually gathered around. They weren't close enough for him to feel claustrophobic but enough for him to note their presence. Beast Boy hopped over the counter and got him a glass of water, offering him the beverage before perching by the sink. "Thanks," Robin croaked. 

"No probs Bob," the younger replied cheerily. 

"Are you alright?" Starfire inquired worriedly. 

"Better now. Sorry about that," he apologised, taking a sip of the water. He hadn't realised just how thirsty he was. That's what happened when you took a hot shower and then didn't drink any liquids for the next fourteen hours yet here he was surprised by that. 

"Don't apologize," Raven told him. "Do you want to talk about it?" He shrugged and downed the rest of his drink before forcing himself up off the floor. They watched him carefully as he did, waiting to jump out and catch him should he become light-headed.

"What's there to say? Just Gotham stuff," he mumbled as he returned to his mission of getting a coffee. 

"Gotham stuff?" Starfire repeated. He sighed and rubbed his temples. Given his original plan involved not speaking to anyone, he'd already gone awry and he didn't know if he had the energy to explain it. Then again, he always told Bruce what he was going through even if it meant there was no help to it. See, Bruce was alright at the initial shock part of the job. For example, when Robin saw his first dead body, he was quick to redirect the young hero's gaze and distract him to keep the truth from sinking in. For the next few days they talked about it and he supposed that helped but it didn't really help. It was performative even if it was meant to be genuine. After that initial trauma, Bruce would only ask what caused his ward to stay up all night or what was making him quiet but that's where it would end. Sometimes accommodations would be made or Alfred would be extra nice that day but nothing much changed. He guessed Bruce just didn't know how to deal with someone else's trauma when it wasn't solved by running around in a suit.

"Our villains are kinda unhinged I guess? Different to the ones that are here," he answered. "I uh, I nearly got beaten to death by Two-Face. So sometimes I have days where it's all I think about."

"Oh, Robin," she whispered before flying over and scooping him up in a hug. He let out a little noise of surprise but found himself relaxing into the hug. Hugs weren't something that came easy in the Wayne household. No one really knew how to ask for them or if they were on that level yet. He leaned into her hold, resting his head on her shoulder as she made no moves to let go of him. Her skin was warm which made the hug even more comforting. He didn't know how much he needed it. "I shall ensure your safety in future," she proclaimed. Robin chuckled softly and shook his head. 

"It's part of the job, Star," he replied. "I appreciate the sentiment though."

"You should come sit with us," Raven suggested. "Being alone with thoughts like that won't do anything for your mental health." The hero chewed his bottom lip nervously but considering he hadn't yet been let go by Starfire, he presumed they didn't want him to go. In all honesty, he didn't want to be alone either. It was just how he always dealt with it and made things easier for everyone else in his life. 

"Fine. Don't be surprised if I have to leave though," he replied. "Star, are you gonna let me down now?"

"Would you like to be?"

"Not really?"

"Then no."