Dreams. The one place I saw all of him. Where I could feel him, touch him. No one could stop me and take away my chance to let him know that I understood and cared for him; that listening to his truths and seeing his tears made me realize one thing:

Those feelings I had towards a machine weren't for a machine at all.

I'd been lying if I said I wasn't thinking when I ran straight for Erica's medical closet, but I was. Days before, she had showed me the room and all its medicines; all kept in supply for a just in case.

A frantic girl trying to fall asleep to talk to her virtual friend was not a just in case. At least, not in Erica's book. In mine, it was.

The second I locked the closet 6 swallowed the pills I knew would put me to sleep. Yet, a fog clouded my mind as I wondered... what if it didn't work? What if the times I saw him in my dreams were only within his control? I'd just sleep, waste away the hours until preparation; I wouldn't get to say what I wanted to say.

Yet, that wasn't the case. The world was almost instant when I closed my eyes. My breath had begun with the scent of medical towels and syringes but easily slid into the smell of fresh air and cleanliness. When I opened my eyes again, I saw nothing but blinding white—and couldn't help but smile.

"Roger," I whispered his name quietly into the air as I stood and spun in a slow circle. He wasn't around, neither was his chair, but I wouldn't give up. I ran left, then right; I shouted his name until it echoed back in my direction. A part of me knew and had already accepted, that this attempt wouldn't work, but I just couldn't let go.

He was a person, he had a life. And damn it, if he didn't know I valued him more than I showed, I'd blame myself; never forgive myself.

Skidding to a halt, I teetered in my stance as I turned around again.

And there he was.

"Roger," I whispered at first, seeing him as he slowly turned to look at me, but I shook my head right after. I was wrong. "Damian Wallace," I said, correcting myself.

At first, he didn't move. He stood a few feet from me, hands in his pockets. There were wrinkles in his clothes and a stain on his pants; he seemed lost, confused. And when I'd said his real name, he winced and drew back an inch, as if he didn't want to hear it.

But I didn't want him to pull away. I wanted him to know that I accepted it, all of it. The Codes, the data—his true nature didn't matter. What mattered was that he existed. What mattered was he was alive.

"Damian, I—"

He didn't let me finish.

Before his name even left my lips, he ran to me. His shoes slid against the floor, black streaks left in their wake. He wrapped his arms tight around my shoulders and I did the same to his waist; his face pressed into my hair, and I couldn't help but take in the smell from his chest. Earthy, cool, like an early summer day.

"Why are you here?" he whispered against my scalp. "You shouldn't be here. Douglas. He's planning it all out. We need you out there. We need—"

"No." I shook my head so hard, the cotton of his shirt dug into my cheeks. My fingers pulled at his sleeves. "They don't need me. You do."

"Clara." He pulled back slightly and cupped my face. The light in his eyes dimmed as he tried not to smile, but I saw it; his cheeks raised, his lips twitched. I reached up to touch him. "You can't be here."

"But you always brought me here," I told him, staring intently into his eyes. "You opened this door for me."

"And I shouldn't have," his voice dropped down to a whisper. "It was wrong to bring you this far."

This far? No. He shifted his foot back to widen the space between us, but I cut it short again. I wouldn't let him be his normal self, reluctant and hesitant to share. He'd already let me in, telling me all I'd asked. How could I not provide him the comfort he'd given me? For months, he was my rock. Sure, I thought it was his job to do it, but to know it was more than just programming, that there was a heart that wanted me to be all right... my heart needed to do the same.

"Bringing me here brought us closer together," I said, reaching for his hand. "Without you, I'd... I'd be dead."

"Clara..." He tried to pull his hand away.

But I grabbed it tight. "You were my peace, my sanity," I told him, holding his gaze. "And maybe I was too scared of you to realize it, but I wouldn't be who I am right now without you. I wouldn't be here, willing to do whatever it takes, if it hadn't been for you."

His blue eyes shimmered, but he didn't say a word. Instead, his trembling fingers latched onto mine.

"You said before that I didn't know what you were, that I couldn't understand—"

"You can't," he whispered.

"—But I want to try. I want to save you."

"Me?" He took the chance to close the space between us. Rather than wrap his arms around my shoulders, they went around my waist instead. I allowed my chest to meet his; the tips of our shoes touched. My lips parted as I looked up at his; cheeks flushed as he closed his eyes. "You can't save what isn't alive, Clara."

"But you are." I tried to get him to look at me. "You're alive."

"No. I'm not alive. None of us are. We're dead. You can't save the dead."

I froze. They were, weren't they? They died at the birth of the Province, stored away into tiny sections of computers as numerical codes and strings of data. No part of them was real... at least, not physically. But their emotions were real. Verba's outburst from Xerses' body, Roger's gleaming eyes, that was real emotion. They felt, ached, yearned.

And with one plan, Douglas would take it all away.

"Damian."

"Don't." He shook his head. "Don't call me that."

"But it's your name," I whispered, pulling back to look at his face. "Your real name."

Considering his expression had been filled with nothing but regret, I didn't expect him to smile. Yet, I watched his lips raise, spread back into a grin, and with a sparkle in his eye, he put me at arm's length.

"Roger's cool." He slid his thumbs up and down my shoulders. "I like the name. Besides, I don't want to be anything different than what I've become. This—" With one hand, he smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt. "—I like this."

"This... but what about the other you?"

The change in his demeanor made me smile and I willingly let him take my hand. With our fingers linked, he led me further into the emptiness he called home. Clouds appeared on one side, while a wall slid up on the other. Made up of what looked like brick and stone, it went up high above our heads.

"It's more like a dream than reality. I remember it, but it isn't as vivid as it should be. That's why it didn't take me long to let the other me go," Roger said as he moved his left hand one way, then the other.

Where his fingers hovered, images appeared; a variety of photos and small videos. I watched them as they blurred, then cleared. "This..." He pointed at a photo in the center, where friends stood together. "This is Damian, the data stored away."

The three friends in the photo were grouped close together; one was tall, dark, with short, faded hair, while the one in the middle was the shortest within the group, with curly blond locks and a wide, toothy smile.

It was the man on the far right who caught my attention. His eyes were blue, like Roger's, and his hair was dark, falling in between his eyes. He was tall, but not as tall as his friend, and his smile stole the whole picture.

"That's you," I whispered and approached the wall with wide, curious eyes. I knew he wouldn't have the same face as the actor he was meant to represent, but the similarities between the two of them were uncanny, like distant cousins.

"Yes, it's me," he said, folding his arms across his chest. "Disappointed?"

I slid my fingers over the photo, slowly tracing the outline of his jaw. That smile... identical.

"Your silence says I'm hideous." He let out a quiet chuckle. "Do I lack that dashing appeal you loved all this time?"

Quickly, my head shot around. "What? Oh, no!" I covered my mouth. "I just... I just thought—"

"Thought you'd see Tom?"

I went scarlet, oh man. I couldn't lie, I did, but I wouldn't admit it. To hide the fact, I turned back towards the Damian on the wall. The pictures moved like digital frames, changing from one photo to the next. Some were clearer than others, while the one of a small boy was too blurry to recognize.

With a heavy heart, I thought, Was this his childhood? Too old to remember clearly? Too blurry to see?

"I'll admit, when I first remembered who I was, I wasn't happy. I struggled a lot with the idea of what I'd become. But with you—" His calm voice made me turn and face him. "—I've learned to let go of my past and the anger that built up inside. It wasn't my fault that I was placed like this, nor was it yours. Sometimes, events happen, and they're beyond our control."

"Okay, but... wouldn't you want to be yourself again?" I asked him, tears burning the edges of my eyes.

His smile slowly faded. "It's impossible, Clara. I'd rather be free."

"Exactly!" I threw my hands up above my head. "Be free! And human again."

He smirked to hide his pain. "That's the thing... I can't be. I'm either stuck living inside of you, like a parasite, or free."

Free.

"If I can't live the way I want to, I'd rather have the choice of how I die."

I locked onto his eyes, blue like the ocean, and just as deep and vast. Staring into them, I thought I saw the soul that was once his; I heard its silent plea.

Roger held out one hand for me to grab and when I took it, he pressed his fingers between mine. "Trust me when I say I'd rather live because I died far too young, but there isn't a way, Clara. If there was, I'm sure the Province would have done right by their promise. Instead, Codes are forced to live inside of another. That isn't how it should be."

I couldn't look at him anymore. Pressing my forehead into his chest, I took in the feeling of his arms around me.

"I can vouch for all Codes when I say this isn't a life one should live. As much as I love sorting through your movies, your music, and reading stories until you fall asleep, I can't be this way."

I squeezed my eyes so tight, tears seeped out beyond my control.

"I want my last command as your VF to fix the world you live in. Let me help Peace save you and X, save everyone left on Earth. If I can do that, you can go back to the life you had before I arrived."

Again, I shook my head. My tears stained his shirt.

"Doll, yes you can." Roger gently gripped my chin and lifted my head to look in my eyes. "You were fine before me; you'll go on without me. It's life."

"I can't," I managed to whisper, blinking away my tears. "I won't."

"You will," he said softly, pressing a soft kiss on my forehead. "You're stronger than you think."

"But I can't. Shutting down the program means I'd kill you; I'd kill all of you, and I—"

I wouldn't listen to him. If any part of him was still human, he'd be done with me and my constant waterworks, but he wasn't. Instead, his human pain clung to mine as his arms wrapped tight around me. Fingers found their way under my sleeves, into the folds of my shirt, holding onto every part of me as though I'd disappear.

When I looked up at him, the tears that slid down my face were paired with those that rimmed his eyes. With one hand, he smoothed down the side of my hair; the other held me close.

"Roger?" I whispered his name as he slid his fingers around my ear and traced the scar that hid my receptor. Shuddering at his touch, I closed my eyes. For a moment, I heard a wind blow, followed by the sound of rustling trees. A heat touched my face, bright, like the sun on a summer's day.

I heard him draw in a slow breath. "I know I'm real to you. And I'll always be real. In here." He moved my hair away from my ear and brought his lips so close to mine, my temperature rose with the heat of his breath. "You won't kill me. A part of me will always be with you."

"You promised." I opened my eyes. "You promised you'd never leave me."

Our lips were centimeters away, our breaths bouncing off the other. His hand wrapped around the back of my neck and I thought he'd pull me in. Instead, he spoke.

"If you could do one thing for me, Clara, just one: free me."

♦

Free me.

I stared up at the white lights inside the medical closet as I woke and fought to catch my breath. My skin tingled, my cheeks burned. Outside the door, I heard muffled voices, barely audible over the sound of my beating heart. The only words I could hear were his, like quiet echoes in my ear.

Free me.

I forced myself to fall asleep to accept what he'd said, and instead, I awoke anew. Roger was willing and ready to sacrifice everything to save us all. With him, we could get inside and shut down the network that powered the Codes; we could free every citizen under their control.

Doing that meant I'd lose him, but he was right.

With a trembling hand, I pressed my fingers behind my ear. "In here. You'll always be in here."

I stood and gripped the doorknob, slowly giving it a turn. My heart screamed along with my soul, but as I stepped out into the hall, rational thoughts took over. This wasn't about me; I'd been right about that. It was bigger than the both of us. There were the lives of thousands; the memories of others. Memories would go on, regardless of where they were, but we still had lives to live. We still had a chance.

Roger wanted to give us that chance, our right; and I wanted to give him his choice.

"Douglas!" I hurried down the hall to the conference room and stood just outside the door, looking at the eyes that peered back at me. Peace's leader stood center; his hands leaned against the table. Matthews stood at his right. The two men lifted their eyes to meet mine as I stepped inside, and both stood straight, and I took in a deep breath.

"Are you sure about this, Clara?" Roger's voice echoed quietly in my ear.

I nodded, my silent answer, but the words I spoke weren't for him, but them. "I want in," I said.

"You?" Matthews' cocked a brow. "What ya goin' to do?"

Moving forward, I grabbed one of the printed layouts and looked it over. My face looked determined as I pretended to know what I read. "Shut it down," I said, pursing my lips. "All of it."

Both men huffed as quiet murmurs spread around the room. I scanned the tops of heads just as Roger spoke again, his voice quiet this time. "You don't have to be the one to do it," he said. "It's dangerous. Just let them do it. You'll free me either way."

My fingers gripped the paper in my hand.

"Fine." Douglas popped his head to one side. "But you'll be the side group. Here—" He pointed at the papers in front of him. "—group B enters through these doors, waiting for group A to announce Polk's position."

"No," I said quickly, and immediately, everyone looked at me with wide eyes. I knew what they were trying to do, pair me off with the smaller Peace members. That's not what I wanted to do; that's not what Roger needed from me.

"Clara," Roger hissed in my ear, "what are you doing?"

"I don't know where you ran off to, but we've already made progress on what we're going to do," Douglas said, pulling blueprints towards him.

"Okay, and?" I blinked, pushed out my lips, and pressed the handout back down on the table. "You can educate me. Just know I will be a part of the main group that does everything because without us, you wouldn't even have the chance to go in."

Static filled my ears, which worked in my favor because I couldn't hear Roger's complaint.

"And, before you can start listing off reasons as to why I shouldn't go in, know I'm pretty capable. Hell, if you think I'm too small, send me in with Matthews—"

Matthews' jaw dropped slightly as I made myself clear.

"—But I will go in first, I will be the biggest part."

I didn't expect to leave them speechless. One man looked at the other. Erica came around behind them and stared down at the papers as though I knew something she didn't. But it wasn't long until Douglas turned, and Matthews called out for a man in the corner to grab the suits.

I lowered my head and stared down at my shoes. "Roger," I started to say, taking in a slow breath, "I'm going to do everything I can to fix this, make this right."

"But, I—"

"—And that means that I will be the one to push the button and free you. Because you're right."

I lifted my head just as Roger appeared on the screen, and everyone greeted him with a semi-warm welcome. Though he didn't smile at me, I did at him. "If there's one thing I can do for you, just one thing... out of everything you've done for me... is to free you."