https://youtu.be/spVfeowkvoY

This story was inspired by this song.

Gone

Her frustration was palpable as she stared at the man before her. So many hopes and dreams she tied up into this one individual, and now it seemed she had no choice but to sit back and watch their world disintegrate before her very eyes.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, tears filling her eyes with only her stubborn pride to hold them in check. He wouldn't answer her. The bastard would even grace her with a glance her way.

Pulling on his arm, forcing him to look at her she demanded, "Just tell me why?"

He looked at her with little remorse. "You've had to see this coming. The signs were everywhere. You had to be blind to miss them." He wrenched his arm back and continued to pack the last of his belongings.

He was right. There were signs that their marriage was failing, but they'd come on hard times before and they always managed, somehow they pulled through. Maybe a little worse for wear and a little more cautious but they were the golden couple. The couple other people held up as the shining example of what a relationship was to be and now...

"Just like that, you're going away? You're not going to even bother to try and make things better? Have I come to mean that little to you?"

"Look, it's just better for the both of us if I go. Staying only seems to make things worse and to be honest it's killing me. It's killing us. Before we get to the point of no return, to the point where we despise one another..." he paused, a moment giving her a glimpse that he still held some feelings for her. "Well, I don't want to be around when that happens."

"Who says it ever will? Who says it has to? What would you have me say or tell people when they ask me why it is you left?"

With a heavy sigh, he rubbed his hand over his features. The exhaustion of those words felt like a physical ache in his bones. "That's the problem in a nutshell—everyone else and what they think. I don't give a crap what you tell them. Tell them I have a mistress. Tell them I'm gay. Tell them whatever you want because they are going to believe what they want anyway. Let them make up whatever story they think suits things best."

"I never cared what "they" thought."

"Really, you could have fooled me. I'm tired of trying to live up to their standards. I am who I am and I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you. I knew I wasn't from the first time that we met. You care so much for the people in your life but when I needed you... when it came time to throw a little care my way... you couldn't or wouldn't do it. I don't even blame you for it, because I've done nothing to deserve it or inspire those feelings to come from you. In fact, I've done just the opposite. I did anything and everything I could to alienate myself from you. So, it's no wonder you didn't know how to treat me when I needed you most."

His words cut through her like a knife, as she took in their full meaning. She had let him down in the worst possible way. She had shown him... no, she somehow managed to prove to him without a shadow of a doubt that he wasn't worthy of her love and affection. 

For months they seemed to be drifting apart. His business was beginning to take off and really become something, taking most of his time. He spent the rest of his time doing other things, anything it seemed but spending time with her. She blamed it on stress, on a need to escape but it didn't stop her from feeling unwanted, unattractive, and uncared for.

Perhaps, that was the real problem. They both have been hurt so many times by those in their lives that they've become self-aware and therefore self-absorbed. Each throwing their own pity party and not inviting the other to come along.

She stopped counting the number of times she's said just that in trying to explain how she felt. "It's not about you," she'd plead over and over again. "Please, understand this is just how I feel."

Furthermore, it became harder to communicate those feelings because whenever she opened her mouth it was like signing the death sentence to their relationship. He loved her. She knew that. Even now she still held onto hope. Yet, somewhere they took a turn down a path neither of them wanted to travel because they knew they would end up alone.

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. It's been hard with your father's death and my mother's... well, you know," she hinted.

"Her what? God, you can't even say it. How the hell do you ever expect to get past it if you can't even say it? She had a mental breakdown, okay?"

She winced at his words. They weren't meant to hurt her but they did. He didn't understand. He didn't get what it took for her to leave her mom behind in that mental hospital. The pain of seeing her mother's haunted look as the doors came to a close locking her in. The pleading those eyes held for her daughter, begging her not to be left alone, and having no other choice but to do just that.

"God!" he exclaimed, frustrated as all hell, knowing that would be her reaction and that he had done it again. He'd cut her to her core. It seemed it all he was good for nowadays. Even if he tried, it was impossible to open his mouth without something vile slipping out and it was always directed at her.

He had to escape before the damage became so great there would be no coming back. He didn't even know if coming back would be a possibility but he knew for certain that he had to get away. He could not stand the thought of her hating him, and she would hate him. At the rate they were going, it would only be a matter of time.

"Where will you go?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper as if she did not trust herself to speak.

"I don't know. I'll let you know when I get there. Look, I'm not saying this is forever. I'm just saying it's for now. Whether you realize it or not we need this. Before the damage becomes so great there is no coming back. No chance of us getting better. We can't be everything thing for one another and that has been a harsh lesson for us to learn. Let's just take some time and regroup." 

He took a moment to touch her face one last time. God, he didn't want this to be Goodbye, so why did it feel that way?

A tear spilled over her lashes and dampened his fingertips. He knew he was breaking her heart but he could do nothing to stop it. Things had happened. Things neither of them accounted for. Things that threatened their very existence, and the great couple that everyone thought, "There goes the real thing." -crumbled.

Ashamed of her tears she turned away from him and he took that as his sign that it was indeed time to go. She listened as the door closed. She listened as the car started and drove away. Her heart shattered into a million pieces before she collapsed to the floor and wept bitterly for the love that was her life. He was gone.