WARNING: EMOTIONAL CONTENT.
Includes mentions of mental health, pressure and failure.

The roommates were huddled around a table in the Baked Potato, going through plans for KJ's film project.
He decided he wanted to do more than just film people acting, so he asked Tabitha to write the script, Sutton and Luka to write the music and Jace to choreograph.
Anvi hadn't been around much to help. These days she was either working at the Baked Potato or studying. 

"Right, so what has everyone got so far?", asked KJ.
"This has to be amazing, because the winning piece will be featured in Moorside's upcoming Creative Arts Film Festival."

"Well, I was thinking the idea could be that a shy girl, who doesn't have the best home life, finds herself wandering out into the woods one night.
Almost like something is calling her there. She meets people who are like her—creative but stuck in the shadows.
She speaks, but they only communicate through music or dance.
Then, at the end, she communicates in their way", explained Tabitha.

"Tabitha, I need your creative brain juice", said Sutton.
"That sounds so cool!"

"I agree!
It's a great way for us to tie all our pieces together too", said Luka. 

"It's a really great concept, Tabitha", said KJ. "What about you guys?", he asked, directing his question at the remaining roommates.

"Well, I wasn't really sure what to work on without knowing Tabitha's idea, but I composed a piece that I think would be perfect for when the girl first meets the people in the forest", said Luka. 

"I've been thinking about song concepts, and maybe the main girl could be a singer? When she communicates with the others at the end, she could sing a song?
I could write that", suggested Sutton. 

"Ooh, I like that!", responded Tabitha. 

"I was thinking to kind of freestyle a dance piece", said Jace.
"Well, I did have something planned already, but a freestyle seems like it would suit this much better."

"I love these ideas", said KJ.
"Thank you so much guys.
I know I kind of sprung this on you last minute but–"

"Don't even mention it, KJ.
"It's going to be so much fun working on this together!", smiled Sutton. 

Anvi was at the sandwich station towards the back, preparing delivery orders.
When KJ first told the group about his project, he looked so excited.
It was great seeing him like that.
When it came to actually brainstorming ideas, Anvi quickly realised she had nothing of value to contribute.
She wasn't a singer.
She wasn't a musician.
She wasn't a dancer.
She wasn't really... anything. 

"Hey, Anvi, your break started five minutes ago", said Bolin. 

"Oh, uh, I'm fine.
I don't need it."

Bolin raised an eyebrow at this.
"You've got a long shift ahead of you.
Take your break Anvi."

"I'm fine."

Bolin poked his head out of the door, before scanning all the tables.
No.
He couldn't see Anu anywhere.
So what was making Anvi want to stay in here?

"Oh look!
Your friends are there, go over to them", said Bolin. 

Anvi shook her head.
"They're busy with KJ's film project."

"Oh yeah, Jace was telling me about that.
I thought you'd be all over it.
You know, helping out and stuff."

Anvi pressed the palm of her hand into the sandwich, the tomatoes squishing under her grip. 

"I can't!
I can't help out, ok?"

Bolin's eyes widened.
"Oh... ok."

Anvi exhaled softly and threw her arms up in the air.
"I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to snap at you.
I'm just keeping my distance so I don't get in their way.
I know how important this is to KJ."

"I get it.
But it's not just about winning the competition for him.
I bet he's loving spending time as a group. Especially after everything that happened the past few weeks."

¤¤¤

KJ and Jace were cooking dinner, and decided to go over their plans for the film. They opted to make a simple pasta.
It also meant that there wouldn't be many utensils for Luka and Tabitha to put on the table, and Sutton and Anvi wouldn't need to clean as many dishes. 

"So, I was thinking, we don't give you any duets", said KJ.
"When everyone performs together, you could sing or even dance, but you definitely dance on your own."

"Why?"

"Well, if the film gets chosen... talent scouts will see it.
I want to make sure they see enough of your dancing.
It could really boost your career."

Jace felt his heart grow ten sizes bigger. Beaming, he completely abandoned his wooden spoon, and pulled KJ into a hug. 

"Dude, that is the sweetest thing ever.
You're the best, man.
Thank you so much!"

KJ chuckled, but hugged him back.
"No need to thank me."

"Oh!
Sorry to interrupt the hugging sesh, but do you know when Tabitha and Sutton will be back?
Tabitha's got my phone charger."

Jace shook his head.
"No, sorry mate.
They only set off five minutes ago."

"Oh, alright.
Hey, I've finished the music for the scene where the main character first stumbles upon the group", said Luka.
"I'm very pleased with it.
I want to make a start on the music for Jace's dance, but I feel like it'd be better if we worked together on it.
You know, Jace can show me what he has planned and I can work around it."

Jace nodded.
"That's cool with me!
Literally any chance I get to see you work your magic is one I'm taking, no questions asked."

Luka smiled.
"Aww, thanks Jace!"

"We're almost done with the food, why don't you two get to work?
I can finish up here", suggested KJ. 

Jace and Luka looked at each other, pure panic spreading across their faces.
Quicker than the speed of light, no
faster—quicker than the time it takes KJ to burn scrambled eggs (which isn't long at all), the pair shook their heads. 

"No!", they exclaimed in unison. 

"Please... never cook alone", begged Luka. 

KJ rolled his eyes and threw a stray piece of pasta their way. 

"Cheeky sods."

Meanwhile, Tabitha's friend Jay was still showing them around the forest he visited a lot. It looked like your bog standard
forest—nothing special.
When they ventured further, however, they stumbled upon a patch of the forest that had a tree stump in the middle.
The tree stump was decorated with drawings and random messages scribbled in, quite possibly, the most ineligible handwriting Tabitha and Sutton had ever seen.
Dog rose and bluebell flowers adorned the ground, their colours standing out against the vibrant green grass, but also helping to highlight its beauty too.
The grass crunched underneath their feet as they walked, the sound taking Tabitha back to when she was younger and she played in her garden every day after school. 

"Oh my gosh...", gasped Tabitha. 

"It's so lovely here!", exclaimed Sutton. "How did you find this place?"

"My Dad used to go here all the time.
He took Mum on a picnic here for their first date.
Growing up, we'd always play in this area. One year, we found out someone had sawed that tree there.
We were so upset, but my parents said that we should find a way to give it a purpose again.
It became our little art project, and it's always been my favourite place, like, ever."

Hearing Jay talk about how happy this place
made him not only made Tabitha feel like she had something else in common with Jay, but it also cemented in her head that this was the perfect place to use for KJ's film. 

"I can definitely see why you love this place so much", said Sutton.
"It captures the vibe for KJ's film so perfectly."

"Well, you're more than welcome to use it!
It would be nice to see it on the big screen."

"Is there anything you want in return?
We'll probably be here for a while so you won't really get to hang out here", explained Tabitha.

Jay shook his head.
"Nah, not really.
Oh, uh, Cassie said to wish KJ good luck on his film, and that she can't wait to see it when it wins.
Would you pass the message on to him?"

"Sure, but why doesn't she just tell him herself?", questioned Tabitha.

Jay shrugged.
"I don't know.
Girls are weird."

"He says as two are literally standing right in front of him", said Sutton, making Tabitha chuckle.

¤¤¤

"Love the way you crisped up the cheese", said Tabitha.

The group were all tucking into their dinner.
Planning and working on KJ's film really took the energy out of them, and they were grateful to be able to just sit down and enjoy a nice meal.

"So, how was everyone's day?", asked Sutton.

"We've got the location for the film sorted", said Tabitha.
"Jay took us to a really cool forest."

"Oh my gosh, it's so beautiful!", beamed Sutton.
"KJ, you'll love it."

"Thanks, youse two", said KJ.

He looked at Anvi, who was twirling her fork around in the pasta, but not actually eating any of it.
She looked up, their eyes meeting.
She quickly plastered on a smile.

"What did you get up to today, Anvi?", asked KJ. 

"Oh, not much.
Nothing exciting."

"Wait, it was your first day at the Journalism Society, right?", asked KJ. 

"Huh?
Oh.
Yeah.
Nothing worth mentioning though."

KJ could tell that Anvi didn't really want to talk about her day, but he couldn't understand why.
His after uni chats with Anvi, or their
'daily debriefs'
as Anvi liked to call them, were often the highlight of his day. 

"Oh!
Guys, what if I get fireworks?", suggested Tabitha. 

"Fireworks?", repeated Luka. 

Tabitha nodded.
"Yeah.
They'd look good on camera, right KJ?
We could include them at like the climax of the film or something."

"It would look pretty cool", said Luka. 

"Mmm, I don't know.
I don't want it to be all big and flashy.
I want it to speak for itself, you know?
Let the audience find the meaning that they connect with the most", said KJ. 

Jace smiled.
"Hey, your film is definitely gonna achieve that.
It's going to be amazing, mate."

¤¤¤

After dinner, the group decided to start filming.
They shot the scenes in the forest first, but it had gotten quite late, so they switched to the park, which would provide the second location of the film.
Anvi was sat in her usual spot on the sofa outside, a textbook in her hands. 

"Hey, bookworm."

Anvi jumped, the sudden noise taking her by surprise.
She relaxed a little when she saw it was just Jace.
He held his hands up and jerked back, Anvi's sudden movement startling him as well.

"Woah, hey, hey... sorry.
It's just me."

"I thought you were at the park?"

"I was.
I... I couldn't shake the feeling  that something was up with you today.
Well, for a few days.
I just, uh, wanted to make sure you were alright."

"That's sweet.
Thanks Jace, but really, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?
You were really excited about KJ's film before, but you've barely been involved in it. I don't know, maybe you've lost interested in it or–"

"Wait, is that what KJ thinks?
Did KJ say that to you?"

Jace shook his head.
"He hasn't said anything to me."

Anvi sighed heavily, before lifting her hands up and letting her forehead collide with her palms.
She let out a loud groan and shook her head. 

"Oh, I can't do anything right!"

Jace's face softened, and his eyebrows knitted in concern.
He sat down beside her, accidentally sitting closer than he had intended to, but Anvi didn't seem to mind. 

"What's going on, Anvi?"

Anvi shrugged, throwing her arms up.
"I haven't done anything with my life.
You dance, KJ makes movies, Tabitha and Sutton are basically triple threats and Luka is a musician!
I can't do anything like that.
All I want to do is help KJ and to be a part of this amazing project he loves so much, but I've got nothing to offer!"

Jace was stunned by Anvi's response.
Sutton often got wrapped up in her own mind, but she had gotten much better at pulling herself out of her head.
Anvi's confusion, desperation and frustration were so palpable.
It took him right back to the first time Sutton broke down in front of him.
She had been really stressed about an upcoming exam, and the self-doubt kept gnawing away at her until she suffered a really scary panic attack a few days before the exam. 

Jace didn't know what to do back then. What can you do when you're so present within the moment, but someone you care about is trapped in their own mental prison?
Unable to see that the unbreakable bars in their cell aren't unbreakable at all.
With just enough force, they can bend.
But how do you help someone see what you do, when their mind won't let them?

"I thought things would be different.
When I told myself to stop letting Anu get to me, I promised myself I'd change.
But it only made me realise how... how meaningless my life has been up until now. I've always focused on my education.
My parents tried to set me up on play dates, but even as a kid I was obsessed with getting a big brain and gaining all the knowledge I could."

"That's not a bad thing, Anvi."

"It is when you realise you have nothing to show for it.
From a young age, my parents always told me that if you're going to do something, give it your all.
Don't let fear hold you back.
I've always played it safe though.
I've never tried to branch out and explore different things, because I felt like I couldn't afford to.
Not with the career I wanted.
Fast forward a few years, and I didn't get the grades I expected.
Sure, I did well, but I lost out on a lot of sleep and opportunities to make friends.
I guess I just wanted something to show for it."

"Anvi... giving something your all doesn't mean being the best at it.
It's like me and dance.
I've tripped over so many hurdles I've basically invented a new Olympic event.
But I give it my all every time.
That's what you do when you love something."

Jace's words slowly started to sink in.
Anvi knew they were similar in some ways, but she wasn't expecting to connect with him on this too.
It made sense.
Jace auditioned for as many things as he could.
He worked so hard on making his relationship with Tabitha work.He always gave everything his all. 

"I'm sorry", she said.
"I've been a bit of a hypocrite.
I told you not to let opportunities pass you by and I've been doing the same thing."

Jace chuckled.
"Hey, I get it.
It's not always easy.
Change doesn't happen overnight.
And... I'm really sorry if we made you feel left out over KJ's film project."

Anvi shook her head.
"Oh, please, it isn't your fault.
It just made me realise I haven't really done much with my life, you know?
Like, art wise.
Nothing that actually means anything."

"Oh, I don't know about that.
You got KJ to open up more, and you hyped us all up at Luka's Music Society audition. Your biggest talent is making people feel seen.
Don't underestimate the amount of happiness that can bring to a person, Anvi."

Wow. 

Anvi didn't know what to say. 

Did he really think that?

The more Anvi thought about it, the more she wished it was true.
She hoped everyone she met felt that way about her.
If someone made her feel like that when she was younger, it would have saved her a lot of pain.

Anvi shuffled closer to Jace, their legs now touching.
She gently brushed her hand against Jace's, a smile appearing on her face when he looked at her.
Without thinking first, he stopped her hand from moving away, holding onto it instead. Her smile brightened just a little, and she placed her other hand over Jace's. 

"Imagine if 'first day of term' Jace and Anvi could see us now", she said, chuckling.
"I never would've guessed we'd, you
know... get each other as much as we do."

Jace smiled.
"Ditto.
I'm really glad our paths crossed."

Anvi giggled when she thought of something, earning a curious expression from Jace.
She lifted a 'glass' in the air.
"To Locate A Mate!"

Jace chuckled, playfully rolling his eyes.
Jace never would've thought the cold and distant Anvi he first met would turn out to be such a cute little weirdo.
Goofball.
Goofdo?
He raised his own 'glass' in the air, his heart missing a beat when he saw Anvi's face light up. 

"To Locate A Mate!"

Jace started screaming random chants, which he only stopped doing when Anvi threatened to leave.
He slapped his hands against his knees, before standing up and turning to Anvi. "Right then... why don't I show you some moves?"

"What, here?"

Jace nodded.
"Yeah, no one else is out here.
Come on, we can make the dance a duet."

Anvi shook her head.
"No, Jace, this could be your big moment!
All eyes should be on you."

"This is KJ's time to shine.
Besides, a wise girl once told me that I shouldn't worry about my career now, or I'll end up missing out on opportunities I can't get back."

A smile crept onto Anvi's face.
"She sounds very smart."

"She is.
Let's see if she'll follow her own advice", he replied.

Jace extended his arm out to Anvi.
A soft smile appeared on his face, and his eyes softened a little.
He wanted Anvi to know she could trust him.

After a moment of hesitation, Anvi exhaled sharply, before taking his hand.
Jace guided her away from the sofa.

"Alright, so, let's try a simple ballroom hold. It's called a closed hold."

Jace instructed Anvi to hold his left hand with her right one, and his right hand with her left one, keeping her arms straight.
Jace placed his left hand on her back, near her shoulder blade.
He looked at Anvi, checking to make sure she was comfortable.

"Good.
So I'm going to take a step back, and you're going to step forward ok?
We'll repeat that a few times, but you basically just need to let me guide you.
Got that?"

Anvi's movements were very stiff, and she was too focused on watching Jace's steps that she let her arms slouch.
She frowned, letting go of his hands and taking a step back.

"I can't do it!
I'm so bad at it."

Jace shook his head.
"No, you're not–"

"Look, I appreciate you trying to include me but it's fine.
I'm never going to get it."

"That's because you're too focused on what's coming next.
Knowing the steps is important, but dancing is also about getting lost in the moment.
It's about trust.
You have to trust that you know what you're doing, and you have to trust your partner to lead you."

"But I don't know what I'm doing!"

"You do.
You were doing alright until you started looking down.
Just, here, let's try this again.
This time... look at my face."

"How am I going to know when to move?"

"Just... trust me, alright?
You'll know."

A reluctant Anvi reached for his hands again.
She looked up, staring into Jace's eyes.
Jace froze for a couple of seconds, although Anvi didn't seem to notice.
Jace cleared his throat and took a step back. Anvi still moved stiffly, and Jace had to remind her several times not to look at the ground.
After a few minutes, Anvi started to get on the same wavelength as Jace, and moved exactly when she was supposed to, although she wasn't very elegant with her movements.

Jace smiled.
"There you go, you've got it!
That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Anvi beamed proudly, her face lighting up. Jace's smile grew.
He let go of her hands and just reached for her left one.

"Let's try a few spins."

Anvi squealed as he spun her around, not expecting to go as fast as she did.
Jace moved as he spun her, and they ended up spinning along the street, the nearby street light shining down on them.

_ _ _

Hi. 

Anvi's storyline is very special to me, and one I can relate to parts of. I tend to get in my own head a lot, and it can feel so frustrating at times. I can't see a way out of the mess my overthinking mind has created, and I worry that it's just me who can't get out. Honestly, I think it's the way I will be my whole life, but I'm sharing this because I hope it encourages you to speak out if you go through something similar. I mean, I feel like we all do, in some way. Talking about it with my friends has helped me so much, and it made me realise that other people experience it too. When you talk about things, the problem can't stay hidden anymore. It can't stay silent. And as scary as it can be to open up, I think there's a lot of power in talking through your struggles. Remember, talking doesn't give your demons and problems the centre stage, but rather, it forces them out of the shadows. 

On a lighter note, KJ and his creative mind is getting the attention they deserve! I really want to make a short film based on the group's concept now, but I feel like something similar must be out there. I love that the group are just as invested in this project as KJ is! Also, KJ is actually a total sweetheart, asking about Anvi's day and being just as invested in her life as he is about his project. He also tried to lift his friends up with him, as seen by him hoping to get Jace's dancing more attention. We all need a friend like KJ. 

What did you think of the Jace and Anvi scenes? They are two characters that really relate to each other on a deep level, and the fact that they regularly hang out together in their spot shows how much they value each other's company. 

I would love to hear your thoughts about this chapter! There are two more chapters left and then we are done with Term 1.

LeMystical-Puffle

ruesbennett

1-800-PETEMITCHELL-

mlkbttl