My mother named me after a cow's rear end. It's the favorite village joke, and probably the only one, butit's not really true. At least I don't think it's true, and neither does Gran. Really, my mother had another name forme, a wonderful name, but no one ever heard it. Theyonly heard the first part. The worst part. 

Mother had been very ill when I was born. Gran saidshe was fevered and coughing and I came before I was supposed to. Still, my mother held me close and whisperedmy name in my ear. No one heard it but me. 

"His name?" Gran asked. "Tell me his name." 

"His name is Rump . . . haaa- cough- cough- cough . . ." 

Gran gave Mother something warm to drink and priedme from her arms. 

"Tell me his name, Anna. All of it."  

But Mother never did. She took a breath and then letout all the air and didn't take any more in. Ever. 

Gran said that I cried then, but I never hear that inmy imagination. All I hear is silence. Not a move or abreath. The fire doesn't crack and even the pixies are still. 

Finally, Gran holds me up and says, "Rump. His nameis Rump." 

The next morning, the village bell chimed and gnomesran all over The Mountain crying, "Rump! Rump! Thenew boy's name is Rump!" 

My name couldn't be changed or taken back, becausein The Kingdom your name isn't just what people callyou. Your name is full of meaning and power. Your nameis your destiny. 

My destiny really stinks. 

I stopped growing when I was eight and I was small tobegin with. The midwife, Gertrude, says I'm small becauseI had only the milk of a weak goat instead of a strongmother, but I know that really it's because of my name.You can't grow all the way if you don't have a whole name. 

I tried not to think about my destiny too much, but on mybirthday I always did. On my twelfth birthday I thoughtof nothing else. I sat in the mine, swirling mud around ina pan, searching for gold. We needed gold, gold, gold, butall I saw was mud, mud, mud. 

The pickaxes beat out a rhythm that rang all over TheMountain. It filled the air with thumps and bumps. In my  head The Mountain was chanting, Thump, thump, thump.Bump, bump, bump. Rump, Rump, Rump. At least it was agood rhyme. 

Thump, thump, thump 

Bump, bump, bump 

Rump, Rump, Rump 

"Butt! Hey, Butt!" 

I groaned as Frederick and his brother Bruno approached with menacing grins on their faces. Frederickand Bruno were the miller's sons. They were close to myage, but so big, twice my size and ugly as trolls. 

"Happy birthday, Butt! We have a present just for you."Frederick threw a clod of dirt at me. My stubby handstried to block it, but it smashed right in my face and Igagged at the smell. The clod of dirt was not dirt. 

"Now that's a gift worthy of your name!" said Bruno. 

Other children howled with laughter. 

"Leave him alone," said a girl named Red. She glaredat Frederick and Bruno, holding her shovel over her shoulder like a weapon. The other children stopped laughing. 

"Oh," said Frederick. "Do you love Butt?" 

"That's not his name," growled Red. 

"Then what is it? Why doesn't he tell us?" 

"Rump!" I said without thinking. "My name is Rump!" 

They burst out laughing. I had done just what they wanted."But that's not my real name!" I said desperately. 

"It isn't?" asked Frederick. 

"What do you think his real name is?" asked Bruno.

Frederick pretended to think very hard. "Somethingunusual. Something special . . . Cow Rump." 

"Baby Rump," said Bruno. 

"Rump Roast!" 

Everyone laughed. Frederick and Bruno fell over eachother, holding their stomachs while tears streamed downtheir faces. They rolled in the dirt and squealed like pigs. 

Just for a moment I envied them. They looked likethey were having such fun, rolling in the dirt and laughing. Why couldn't I do that? Why couldn't I join them? 

Then I remembered why they were laughing. 

Red swung her shovel down hard so it stuck in theground right between the boys' heads. Frederick andBruno stopped laughing. "Go away," she said. 

Bruno swallowed, staring cross- eyed at the shovel thatwas just inches from his nose. Frederick stood and grinnedat Red. "Sure. You two want to be alone." The brotherswalked away, snorting and falling over each other. 

I could feel Red looking at me, but I stared down atmy pan. I picked out some of Frederick and Bruno's present. I did not want to look at Red. 

"You'd better find some gold today, Rump," said Red. 

I glared at her. "I know. I'm not stupid." 

She raised her eyebrows. Some people did think I wasstupid because of my name. And sometimes I thoughtthey were probably right. Maybe if you have only half aname, you have only half a brain. 

I kept my eyes on my pan of mud, hoping Red wouldgo away, but she stood over me with her shovel, like shewas inspecting me.