With your head leaned back and a bored expression, you looked out the window of the truck.

Down a hill, a huge building rose into the dark sky. Lights danced through the night and made clear that people were guarding that thing.

Woods was supposed to watch Bell and get him inside. The brainwash had left his ability to understand and read Russian, so his presence on the mission made sense.

The three of you, Adler, Mason and yourself, were waiting in the truck on standby in case anything would go wrong.

You and Adler shared the front seats of the car while Mason was sitting in the trunk and kelt an eye on the area through binoculars.

"Did you think about it?", Adler asked out of the blue.

A cigarette was dangling from his lips.

The strands of smoke danced through the air like clouds on a rainy day.

Your eyebrows moved but you didn't tear your eyes off the building.

"Thought about what?", you asked and pressed your forehead against the window.

The cold glass chased away the headache for a moment.

"You know what I mean.", he took a deep drag from his cigarette. "Be my partner again."

It sounded like he really didnt have a clue about you.
Or maybe he was just fucking sly about it. There was a saying, keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

Maybe he was taking that seriously.

Either way, getting back to him, being physically close, would have been the end of you.

"Why do you want a partner again so bad?", you slightly turned your head to look at him from the corner of your eyes. "Will I be your partner or... a different kind of partner?"

Now, he looked at you too.

A low sound escaped his lips, mixed with smoke and the smell of ashes. But he couldn't help and smirk slightly.

"I'm not that desperate.", he said and offered you the halfway smoked cigarette. "If you say no to that part I'll respect it. But I need you close again."

You took a deep breath and held it for a moment.

The smoke scratched inside your lungs. It hurt, but that pain was what kept you sane in that moment.

With lowered eyes, you blew a cloud into his directing.

For the breath of a second his face got blurry.

"Don't talk like that...", you mumbled. "You never talk like that. It doesn't suit you."

He hummed.

"You always managed to make me do things I usually don't do."

"For example?"

"Missing someone. Wanting to be with someone."

"You're forgetting who you are, Russell Adler.", you huffed and turned your eyes away.

It hurt to look at him.

It hurt even worse to listen to him.

Adler wasn't a man for feelings nor trust. He trusted people, but only to a certain extend.

But with you it was like he was another man.

Vietnam had planted a deep seated trust inside of him. A kind of trust that made him believe that his biggest enemy could never hurt him.

And maybe he was right.

Maybe you wouldn't be able to pull the trigger when the time came.

He smirked.

"Angel...", his hand gently grabbed your chin to force you to look at him. "You know I hate to say these things. But if you insist I'll say it once more. If you won't let me love you the good old fashioned way, I'll accept that. But don't stay away from me. Every time you're not around I feel restless, because the person that knows me best is out there and I cannot make sure you're safe. Come back to my side. I don't trust anybody else with your well-being."

Your eyes met his.

And all of a sudden, he did something unbelievable.

He took of his glasses.

You didn't have to ask him to do it. You weren't even thinking about it.

But he did it anyways. Because he wanted you to know that with you, he didn't need to protect himself.

He trusted you so much, he didn't need a wall. Because he was so confident, he felt safer without the protection of the glasses.

You sucked in a sharp breath.

With a soft expression on your face, you grabbed his hand and placed a kiss inside the palm.

"Even though it's stupid on my part and not meant to be, I've never cared for someone the way I care for you.", you whispered. "I want to say yes."

You reached out gently to stroke his scars, first the surface, then the deeper cuts and bumps.

With a deep sigh he closed his eyes and leaned into the feeling of your warm hand.

Russell had never been a man who liked to show his affection, but many years married to the wrong person and a few years alone after the divorce had made him starving for touch.

"What's keeping you from agreeing?", he asked and met your gaze again.

He would have never said it out loud but there was nothing more he was craving than for you to say yes.

His eyes gave it away.

Years of spending time together had created some kind of bond that even the great Russell Adler couldn't beat. He had accepted that fact and was now trying to make the best of it.

For both of you.

But you still struggled. Because you feared that if you'd say yes the goodbye would shatter you into a thousand pieces.

Or worse, there wouldn't be a goodbye at all and you would have to keep lying to the man that made you feel like the USA had something good to offer.

A deep sigh made your chest tremble.

You took the last breath of the cigarette before throwing it out.

"Russell...", you whispered. "I fear that we will destroy each other one day..."

His expression darkened. A hint of disappointment lit up inside those bright blue orbs of his.

"Would you ever try to destroy me?", he asked in such a soft voice that you wanted to kiss him.

"No.", you gifted him a sad smile. "But we could. And that's dangerous. For both of us."