WRITTEN BY: wonberriess
GENRE: CRIME/SPECULATIVE

TW: suicidal thoughts

"You don't love anyone but yourself."

— 🎀 —

Na-rae gazed at her reflection in one of her many mirrors, all in that one room of hers. A smile stretched her lips, a smile that was so full of pride. 

Her phone blew up with notifications; comments, likes, and shares showing up on the preview as she turned on the device. They would be mostly positive, some even negative at times.

Though a lot of mirrors reflected the girl’s appearance, she thought it was never enough. She wanted more. 

A narcissist and a self glorifying girl she was. She never learned how to love anyone but herself. From her proud attitude and self established superiority, Min Na-rae wanted everything for herself, and only for herself.

Most people at school hated her for this attitude she had, while some eagerly wanted to become friends with her. You could say Na-rae was quite the celebrity, getting attention from here and there everyday.

Though it was sweet for her now, one day she’d have to taste the bitter reality of her own actions. One day, she’d have to learn how to love others and the true meaning of love.

— — —

One of Na-rae’s favorite things to do was taking selfies and posting them everywhere. Oh, if only you could see her camera roll right now. 

“Min Na, stop taking photos or your phone will die before you even get home.” Her friend warned her.

“My gosh, stop nagging at me. I know what I’m doing.” She said before posing for another photo. Satisfied with the hundredth photo she’d taken today, she turned off the device and put it in her cardigan’s pocket. 

“Are you finally done?”

“I never am. But for now, yes.”

The two girls walked back into the school building, sparing them ten more minutes before the bell rang. 

Chase Boram, a year older than Na-rae was one of Na-rae’s realest friends. She’s stuck with her for over a decade now, and no matter how full Na-rae was of herself, Boram believed that she would one day learn better. She’s been sticking with that for over ten years.

Though to Na-rae, Boram wasn’t anymore than another acquaintance, Boram treated the girl like a younger sister. It wasn’t really the best treatment on the older girl’s side especially in friendships, though the thought of Na-rae changing kept her hopeful.

As soon as Na-rae stepped into her classroom and parted ways with Boram for class, heads started turning and as if she were a princess, they all got out of her way. Besides, they wouldn’t want to get into an argument with her. 

A swirl of murmur came from her classmates who avoided her piercing gaze. 

“Don’t mess with her.”

“You wouldn’t want your life ruined.”

“She gives me the chills.”

“What does she think she is? A goddess?”

“And if I think I am?” She spoke up from her seat, the same nasty expression plastered on her face as she questioned. “What will you do?”

They went back to avoiding her eyes and minding their own businesses. Na-rae scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Guess you can’t do anything about it.”

Time went awfully slow that day and math class was filled with Na-rae being the teacher’s pet and stealing every chance from her classmates she could to answer. 

Way to go, Min Na-rae. 

When classes ended, she reunited with her friend whom she offered to keep her company while she shopped for new dresses. Boram declined this time, reasoning she needed to get to work earlier than usual today. 

Na-rae, of course, tried begging her friend, but she stood with her decision.

“Fine.”

— — —

Entering her mansion-like home after shopping, she definitely wasn’t expecting a visitor. Opening the door to her room, a figure was seated at the windowsill, the faint glow of the moon casting itself upon the figure.

As soon as Na-rae switched the lights on, a scream escaped her lips.

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!”

She threw her bags down in shock as the visitor closed his eyes and covered his ears in pain. Na-rae walked toward him, as she scanned his appearance. 

He had blond hair, a heart eyepatch covering his right eye, and a white long sleeved shirt under a black vest which was adorned with glittering hearts all over. 

A feature of his that stuck out the most to her, were his wings that he at least tried to hide. 

“Are you joking right now or what? Because if you are, I’m not.”

The winged boy stepped down from the windowsill, looking quite cheery and happy despite the girl's mean remarks. 

“Hi! My name’s Hueningkai! You can call me Kai or Hyuka for short.”

“Okay?”

“I was sent here by Aphrodite on a mission before she sends me down for more missions. And that mission for now is to help you!”

“Aphrodite. Mission.” She parroted. “I think you need help because I’m doing completely fine.”

“You don't have to be so mean.”

“Sorry, not sorry. Whatever you’re doing here, Kai, please stop joking around. I don’t have time for other people.”

“But you’ve got so much time to praise yourself for being so pretty and take all those selfies. Okay.” He mumbled. 

Na-rae rolled her eyes at his statement no matter how silent he tried making it. 

“Do leave as soon as possible.”

She sauntered away from him, picking up the bags and proceeded to ignore the cupid’s presence as she sorted her dresses. 

While she was distracted, Kai took his chance and shot his arrow at Na-rae’s heart. It horribly backfired, before the arrow could even hit her heart, it dissolved at her strong aura. 

“Dang it!”

“Gonna take more than just your arrows to make me love, angel boy. Don’t even try.” She commented with a sarcastic smile, now throwing the dresses into her hamper and leaving the room to change. 

Failing his first attempt, Kai felt a little discouraged at this, but was determined to try again the next day, anyway. 

— — —

He waited for Na-rae to come out of her mansion under the sun, for the fifth time this week since a month ago and today he came in a white hoodie and black pants. 

Though cupids and other entities would be roaming around the streets of Seoul, Kai wanted to feel a little more normal. A cupid’s got to feel a little human to be more comfortable, right?

The doors opened and were followed by the footsteps of Na-rae making their way down the steps. She spotted him and tried to ignore, but he walked next to her anyway. “Good morning!”

Putting in her headphones to try and drown out the boy’s voice with the music she was playing, Kai faked offense as he watched her do it while they continued walking. 

‘Finally, he stopped.’

Keeping herself distracted by the music blasting in her ears, everything else around her didn’t matter at the moment, that included Kai. 

Crossing the street, she paid very little attention to the traffic lights and stepped on the pedestrian lane without looking. 

Before she could walk any further, someone held her hand and pulled her back to the sidewalk. Kai. 

“Idiot. I kept calling you to watch out earlier.”

Na-rae stared at him with wide eyes, taking off her headphones and opening her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. 

Releasing herself from his grip, she closed her eyes and waited for the lights to turn green, turning away from Kai and mumbling a low “Thank you, I guess.”

Kai smiled at this. 

It was a foreign feeling for Na-rae, and for some reason it was making her feel weird. Gratitude was the feeling. She never felt thankful even once, not until now.

— — —

Lunch time came by after a few subjects and the two girls were back in the outdoor cafeteria again with the addition of Kai sitting a few feet away from them.

Na-rae was yet again taking selfies, smiling at the photos whenever she checked, complimenting herself. 

“Ah, I’m shining even brighter today.” She commented before posting it on her social media. Boram smiled at her friend who stared at her weirdly. 

“Why are you smiling like that?”

“Oh, no reason at all.”

Na-rae simply nodded and returned back to posting her photos.

 “Oh? You’re not gonna scream at me? What’s this?” 

Na-rae giggled. “Why would I? Not like you did anything wrong.”

Boram’s eyes widened at this. “Did you eat something? Did something happen? Are you sick?”

She instantly placed a hand on her friend’s forehead checking for her temperature. Na-rae looked puzzled, as if she didn’t really know what was happening. Kai on the other hand was quite satisfied with his move. 

A little bit of working his magic wouldn’t hurt. He tried shooting a mini arrow (to make her sweeter to people around her) without Na-rae’s knowledge and, well, it did work in a small amount. It was about time his multiple attempts this week paid off even if she still had that attitude.

It will wear off at the end of the day, but that’s one step closer to making her a little more… loveable and loving.

The girls finished their lunch and walked back inside the building like they always did after lunch. Kai followed closely behind them to not make them suspicious. A strange behavior from a strange student which was him, and the cupid was sure some eyes were on him if not most.

Parting ways for their afternoon classes, Kai followed Na-rae into hers, making more heads turn toward them. Na-rae, who would usually shoot her classmates some not so nice looks, flashed them a smile today. 

“What’s with her today?”

“I know, right? Is this really Min Na-rae?”

“No, ladies, don’t let your guard down. This could all be an act.”

“I’m a guy, Mi-jun.”

“Shouldn’t be hanging out with girls then.”

“Oh, yeah. By the way,  the blond dude looks hot.”

“Right? Oh my god.”

“Is it seriously the first time this week that you saw him?”

“YES.”

The chatter ended abruptly when their teacher walked in, slamming his textbook on the teacher’s table, calling the attention of everyone to pay attention for class. 

After about four more hours seated in chairs too hard to sit on, the final bell of the day rang which concluded this week’s learning. 

Today was a Friday and instead of Na-rae declining Boram’s invitation to go to a karaoke room like she always did, accepted it and tagged along with her friend.

“I’m serious, Min Na, what happened to you today? Are you really okay?”

“I am! I’m perfectly fine, see?” She said, placing a hand on her forehead. “Completely normal.”

Still finding her friend’s behavior weird, Boram shrugged it off as they walked to the karaoke room. Of course, Na-rae was busy checking herself for the most time but surprisingly maintained a calm demeanor. 

— — —

Getting home two hours later after their small party, Kai was pretty sure that she’d go insane any moment now. 

He counted down from three, and as soon as the girl entered her bedroom, another scream came from her, making him flinch again. 

“IS THIS YOUR DOING, KAI?”

“NO!”

“I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE-” A string of curses escaped the girl’s mouth, chasing down the cupid with a red stiletto in her hand she held as a weapon. Annoyed, the girl stopped and stormed off to her room where she locked herself.

She’d put the water in her bathtub and didn’t get in, instead just stared at her reflection, wondering what it would be like if she just dove in.

“Na-rae, whatever you’re thinking right now, do not do it.” Kai called. 

“Why not? It looks so bad… yet I feel like it would be so good to just do it.” 

She was hesitating. Should she do this now or… not at all?

By miracle, Kai was able to open her door from the outside and luckily Na-rae didn’t do it. Yet.

“Why are you like this?” He asked her. 

“I don’t know.” She stared at her reflection in the water again and bitterly smiled. “Is this really what I want?”

“No. Don’t do it.”

Na-rae broke down into tears, something she definitely didn’t expect. Kai held her in his embrace, and he was not expecting that either. 

Did she finally learn?

“I’ve been… way too proud of myself. God, I don’t even know if that was love.” She dryly chuckled. “I am stupid. Way too stupid.”

Kai comforted her, helping her calm down in between her sobs. “Mhm, you were. But that doesn’t mean it’s too late to change, is it?”

“I’m a monster, Kai.” She said again. “Is there… anyone… who would still try to love me, like for real? I mean, tons of people already hate me, and I,” She caught her breath. “I hate myself.”

“Everyone can change. If they’re determined to, they can. You can change.” He assured her. “Unless you really don’t want to change and wanna live like this forever.”

“I don’t know. How is a heart so hard to understand… That even I can’t understand my own?”

🔫