Marry Me Trailer

"Oh, Bill, you banner of linguistics. The way you described this upcoming universe gives us a wonderful picture of reference." Weiss says in a sickly sweet voice and a disturbing smile.

"Really?" Ruby asked in surprise.

"No! The way he described this universe was vaguer than Yang's mental capacity during a physics test!" Weiss exclaimed.

"Hey. Just because I bring a pillow during physics class doesn't mean I don't know what goes in the class, alright?" Yang asked with an annoyed scowl.

"Wait, you do what?" Taiyang asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, really? Then I guess you wouldn't mind reciting the first rule of physics to us, huh?" Weiss asked.

"Well, uh...why are you asking me an advanced question like that?" Yang asked.

"It's the first statement in the textbook!" Weiss exclaimed.

Bill sighed as the two girls argued and muttered to himself, "We really had to start this chapter off with Weiss being a bitch huh..."

"I heard that!" Weiss shouted.

"Good!" Bill shouted back and he clapped his hands, "Alright! You guys ready for something spontaneous?"

"Spontaneous good or spontaneous bad?" Ozpin asked.

Bill giggled devilishly as he appeared right in front of Ozpin's face, "I'll let you be the judge of that, Ozzy~"

Ozpin narrowed his eyes. He didn't like that, not one bit. Whatever that floating math equation was planning had red flags going off in his mind to a maddening degree.

"Now, which one of you are divorced?" Bill asked and a good portion of them raised their hands.

"Heh, losers." God Raven commented with a smirk, but then Nanny Glynda cleared her throat and pointed to her arm. That was when God Raven saw that her arm had also involuntarily went up, "Ah, God Dammit."

"You were married?" Taiyang asked, surprised to see Qrow with his hand up.

"For a while." Qrow replied nonchalantly.

"How the hell did that happen!?" Winter exclaimed in shock.

"It was...a moment of weakness." Qrow replied.

"You were wasted in Vacuo again, weren't you?" Raven asked.

"What? No!" Qrow exclaimed in offence, "...It was Mistral."

A few face palmed at that and Winter shook her head in annoyance.

"No surprise seeing both of your hands up." Saphron says, looking between Ozpin and Salem, "Who were the lucky spouses?"

"No comment." Both replied dully.

"Mother? Why is your hand up?" Whitley asked as he looked at his mother in surprise upon seeing her hand up.

"Hmm, why is my hand up?" Willow pondered, not even attempting to put it down.

"Certainly a mistake." Jacques stated.

"Are you a nobody?" Willow asked.

"What kind of foolhardy question is that!? Of course not! I am Jacques Schnee, your husband!" Jacques stated.

"I rest my case." Willow states, keeping her hand up.

"Seeing a lot of broken hearts here...so here's a universe showing you what you could've had! Haha!" Bill exclaimed as he teleported back to his seat.

"You seem to be getting a bit more dickish, friend." Tyrian comments.

"You only realize that now?" Bill asked as he started the trailer.

The trailer started off with showing a human Salem dressed in workout gear with a team of her dancers behind her.

"Alright, let's do it again from the top." Salem stated.

"Marry Me, Marry Me, Say Yes,"

They all got into the groove and started rehearsing their dance and Salem looked fierce as she sang the song.

"Marry Me, Marry Me, Say Yes." Salem sang with the microphone in hand.

"Oh, wow." Saphron comments with wide eyes.

"Is it her looks or the hip swaying?" Vernal asked in amusement.

"I'm tempted to say both." Saphron said with a chuckle.

"You're married!" Jaune reminded.

"Am I not allowed to admire? I love Terra with all my heart, but I can give credit where credit is due, Jaune." Saphron retorted and Jaune face palmed.

"She's not wrong, Jaune. Those hips don't lie." Yang added.

"A human Salem story huh? The last one was beautifully sweet, will this be the same?" Summer asked.

"The Salem stories are unusually sweet for some reason." Raven added.

"Are you alright, Professor?" Glynda asked.

Ozpin sighed upon seeing and remembering the old Salem, "Just...waiting for this to be over already."

"I showed a moment of weakness with the last universe about my old self, never again." Salem stated with narrowed eyes and folded arms.

"Never say never." Roman warns, "You never know how life will fondle your balls."

"What the fuck kind of saying is that!?" Junior asked.

"Neo taught it to me." Roman said.

Neo giggled silently as she held up a sign, "My uncle taught it to me."

Junior widened his eyes and slowly turned back to the screen, trying to forget that.

"The Marry Me concert tour is something you will not wanna miss." Lisa Lavender announced as Salem was shown at a photoshoot and being escorted onto a red carpet.

"Life of a celebrity looks like fun." Velvet comments.

"Believe me, it is not." Pyrrha warns.

"In 36 hours, superstar Salem and Atlantic winning Ozma will preform their new song 'Marry Me' and exchange vows in front of a streaming audience of 20 million people." Scarlet reported as Salem and Ozma were shown singing on stage then Ozma was shown kissing Salem in the cheek then their concert poster was shown then they were shown hugging on stage in front of a packed crowd.

"Who's he?" Ruby asked.

"A man that died long ago." Salem responded, "But he still finds a way to torture my very existence to this day."

"You did this to yourself." Ozpin stated spitefully.

"Oh, please. I shaped the world into what it is today and you all should be grateful for that." Salem said with an eye roll.

"Grateful?" Summer asked angrily, "This Grimm infested cesspool of a world we call home is something we should be grateful for?"

"We? I thought the clouds above were your home now, sweetheart?" Salem asked with a smirk and Summer's eyes started to shine as she growled.

Many glared at her for that statement while Bill summoned a megaphone.

"If any of you start fighting, I'm sending you to the DOOM Universe naked." Bill announced and many grumbled but remained in their seats.

"See you tomorrow." Ozma said to Salem and both of them exchanged a kiss.

"I'll be the one in the veil." Salem reminded jokingly.

"I don't like him." Willow says with a frown.

"Why?" Blake asked.

"When you've been around the horrendous side of men for long enough, you start to develop a 6th sense for these things." Willow said.

"Ozpin, this is once in a lifetime!" Summer exclaimed to Ozpin who was sitting behind the teacher's desk in a classroom.

"I've got my daughter tonight." Ozpin reminded.

"Good. I've got three tickets for tonight. Bring her." Summer retorts.

"What in the brothers Grimm!?" Salem exclaimed, "How!?"

"How what?" Roman asked.

"Those two are not supposed to exist at the same time." Ozpin stated, "What is going on in this universe."

"Am I missing something here?" Yang asked and Ruby shrugged.

"Bill!?" Both Salem and Ozpin exclaimed.

"Spontaneous!" Bill exclaimed with a laugh.

"Forget whatever the hell they're arguing about. Did she just say daughter!?" Taiyang exclaimed.

"Ozpin is a father!?" Ironwood exclaimed.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" Qrow burst out laughing.

Oobleck held his hand out to Port with a smirk and he grumbled as he handed him a hundred bucks.

"Dad. You haven't had any fun since mom left." Ozpin's young daughter, Pyrrha, says.

"Dad!?" Almost all the teens exclaimed.

"Ozpin's your father!?" Nora asked with a gasp, "Can you get me a passing grade!? Please! Physics class is kicking a girl's booty all the way to Sunday!"

"If she's getting free grades, then tossing some over to your boy doesn't sound so bad." Jaune said.

"Some of us could use the extra credit." Ren added.

"Guys! He's not actually my father!" Pyrrha reminded.

"Oh, you call him daddy in a different way~" Yang said with a smirk, earning a bonk from Blake.

"That one was just wrong." Blake said.

"I know." Yang agreed as she felt bad.

"In any case..." Pyrrha said with a furious blush, "Professor Ozpin seems to be the father of a younger me in a completely different universe, so now that this has been established, shall we move on?"

"Whatever you say, junior." Mercury said with a smirk and Pyrrha narrowed her eyes at him.

"Just say yes." Pyrrha begged.

"Throw in a bit of foreshadowing here." God Raven whispered and Nanny Glynda held in a giggle.

Ozpin, Summer and Pyrrha were shown in a long line of fans waiting to enter the concert.

"Marry me, Salem!" Cardin in a wedding dress shouted as he ran past the line.

"Wait a minute," Weiss said.

"Was that?" Coco asked with a smile.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! This is a heaven sent universe!" Jaune exclaimed as he laughed.

"Shut it, Arc!" Cardin shouted in embarrassment.

"What am I doing here?" Ozpin asked.

"Having some fun, old man." Sienna teased.

"I don't belong in these types of sceneries. They usually end with trouble." Ozpin stated.

Vernal rolled her eyes, "Relax. It's just one concert. What harm could one night of fun possible bring?"

"With the amount of universes that occur with a one-night story; you'd be surprised." Bill stated.

"Okay, let's go. We only have five minutes left." Salem in a sparkling wedding gown said as she looked around, but was curious to see people hiding laptops and Scrolls from her, "What's everybody looking at?"

"Nothing!" Emerald exclaimed nervously.

"Oh no, it's something really bad isn't it?" Kali asked nervously.

"If cool, calm and collected Emerald is acting like that? Then yeah, it is." Mercury said.

"I don't know if I should take offence to that or not?" Emerald said.

"Just as long as you're not hitting me again, then you can take it however you want." Mercury said.

"That's what he said!" Yang exclaimed, earning another bonk from Blake.

"Concussions are imminent in your future." Penny comments and Ruby giggles.

"Give me your phone." Salem stated and Cinder reluctantly handed her the Scroll.

"Salem's husband to be, Ozma, caught cheating with her assistant!" Lisa reported as a video of Ozma and Amber was shown of them making out.

Many gasped at that and some gave Amber some angry and scrutinizing looks.

"Oh, grow up. I would never do that to someone. Even if it was Salem." Amber said with an eye roll.

"Homewrecker!" Adam shouted with a smirk.

"I will punch your Adam's apple." Amber threatened and Adam stopped smirking and rolled his eyes.

"This Ozma guy...what a jerk." Ruby said with a frown.

"Yeah, dude's a jackass." Yang agreed.

"This is all wrong. I-Uh, I mean, Ozma was nothing like that." Ozpin stated.

"Maybe so, but an alternate version of him certainly is." Glynda reminded.

Salem was shown being lifted up onto the stage and reaching the top as the crowd cheered for her, but she looked absolutely unprepared for the moment.

"Poor girl." Summer said, expressing the sympathy felt by many.

"I thought you hated her." Raven asked.

"I mean, I do, but anybody doesn't deserve to get their heart broken." Summer said.

Raven sighed, "Yeah, cheaters are some of the worst people around...and I'm a murderer. Really goes to show the true monsters of the world."

"Hold this." Summer said, handing Ozpin a 'MARRY ME' sign and she turned to rush off somewhere.

"I'm told that, uh, 20 million people are supposed to watch as we take our vows." Salem said, now standing nearer to the crowd on stage, "They say that if you want something different, you have to do something different."

"Wow, that's so deep and profound, it just loops back around to just being stupid." Adam comments, earning a smack from Sienna, "Ow!"

Salem looks around and spots Ozpin within the crowd as he held the sign and she lingers on him for a while.

"Why not?" Salem asks as she starts to cry, "Yes, I'll marry you."

"Wait, what?" Ruby asks.

"Huh?" Summer asks.

"Excuse me?" Glynda asks.

"What did she say!?" Raven exclaimed.

"No way!" Nora exclaimed with wide eyes.

"You wouldn't dare." Salem stated with narrowed eyes.

"Please tell me this isn't what I think it is." Ozpin muttered.

"Oum if you don't steer me wrong here then I'm going to church." Qrow begged with an excited smile on his face.

"You." Salem pointed to Ozpin and the crowd gasped as cameras aimed their sights at him.

"Hallelujah!" Qrow exclaimed with a bountiful laugh.

"Ayo, what the fuck!? Ha! Ha! Ha!" Sun exclaimed with a laugh.

"This is unbelievable." Glynda muttered in shock.

"Now I see why Bill called this one spontaneous." Summer giggled.

"Careful now, you two. You'll catch flies." Raven teased upon seeing the jaws of Salem and Ozpin dropped in shock.

"Go!" Summer urged, pushing him forward.

"Go!" Pyrrha urged as well.

"Get yourself a friend like Summer. Forcing you, a grown ass man to marry a complete stranger in front of 20 million people." Sienna said.

Qrow sniffed as he wiped away some tears of joy, "It just writes itself at this point, y'know?"

Everyone else soon joined in as they ushered and urged him to the stage with almost everyone livestreaming the moment.

"Do you...some guy...take Salem to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Sage asked.

"Some guy!?" Neptune exclaimed and both him, Sun and a few others laughed.

"What is the world coming too?" Weiss asked with a face palm.

"I actually really like this universe so far." Ruby said with a smile.

"You better say no!" Salem shouted.

"...Okay." Ozpin replied and Salem brought him in for a kiss as the crowd cheered.

"Aww." Summer and Willow awed at the cuteness of it all.

"Argh! That moronic! Impudent! Waste of @$@$#!!##@$% AND #$@@$@#$@ WHO SHOULD %#%&#@$@#$ IN A $%$@##@%^ FIRE!!!" Salem shouted, leaving everyone stunned.

"Whoa." Tyrian said in shock.

"I heard words that even sailors wouldn't use today." Qrow said.

"Haha, mom I need therapy." Ruby said with a strained smile and Summer hugged her as a form of comfort.

"Let it all out?" Bill asked.

Salem cleared her throat, "Proceed."

"Ozpin, forget what I said. Don't go to concerts anymore." Vernal said with a laugh.

"Forget that. If going to a concert is going to get me hitched to a babe like that then I'm going to a lot of them!" Taiyang stated, earning four punches on both shoulders from Ruby, Summer, Raven and Yang, but Qrow just pat his head, "Ow."

"That was crazy." Ozpin said in the car ride back home while Salem looked to just be contemplating her life choices.

"Funny, I looked exactly like her on my wedding night." Willow said.

"The car ride back home, you mean?" Amber asked.

"Oh no, the whole night." Willow responded and Amber widened her eyes in shock as Willow sipped on her wine.

"Salem left the guy from the concert then also married her Uber driver." Junior joked as Salem switched off the TV.

"Haha, it's so funny I forgot to laugh." Jaune said with an eye roll.

"It was kind of funny." Yang argued.

"Not really. The guy is just making fun of Ozpin for no reason. Can celebrities not be with people living normal lives? Is the barrier really that thick?" Jaune asked.

"We live in a world of the seven deadly sins, Jaune. Breaking the mold is the most unnatural thing you could possible do." Blake stated.

"Then maybe, it's a good thing we're seeing a universe like this." Jaune said with a sigh.

"It's an insane situation." Cinder said as multiple photographers took pictures of both Salem and Ozpin. The scene then changed to show a suited Cinder speaking to Salem as she stretched, "I say we offer 5,000 Lien and let it all blow over."

"Or I could stay married to him." Salem states.

Cinder paused for a moment, "Heh!"

"Why exactly is she doing this? Does she need a rebound this badly!?" Salem asked angrily.

"This entire situation is the result of the machinations of a drug induced bender." Ozpin said with a sigh.

"I don't know, I actually wanna see where this goes." Coco said.

"I mean, if we gave The Proposal a chance, why not this?" Blake asked with a shrug.

"I started something last night and if I don't finish it," Salem explained as she was shown leaving the car and looking back at Ozpin who looked back at her, "I'll look crazy."

"Oh, honey, that ship has long sailed." Salem said with an eye roll.

"Why do you hate this one so much?" Raven asked.

"What was that?" Salem asked with narrow eyes.

"I don't know, you're usually not this passionate about these universes. I mean, I hate a lot of things, but you're going out of your way to show your utter disdain for this universe." Raven explained.

"Because it's dumb. Even if I was like her, there is no way in hell I would marry someone like Ozpin." Salem stated.

"Not in a million years." Ozpin added.

"How about this, give this thing a chance until the end and if you don't like it then I don't know, I'll join your side or something." Raven asked.

"What!?" Most of the theater exclaimed.

Salem smirked, "Deal."

"But remember, only if you didn't like it. God me can confirm, right?" Raven asked.

"The powers of an Empath? Childs play." God Raven said with a smirk.

"You hear that mommy salami? You got yourself a deal." Raven said with a wink.

"I'll show you how to win a deal, you edgy cockatiel." Salem muttered through gritted teeth.

"We gotta get out in front of this." Salem stated as Ozpin and Summer met up with Salem's group.

Ozpin went in for a handshake while Salem went in for a hug and the two awkwardly collided. They stepped back and awkwardly hugged.

"Are you sure about this Raven?" Summer asked as she cringed at the scene.

"If this thing is able to reduce my brother into that," Raven said as she pointed at a weeping Qrow that held a Monty Oum bible, "Then I believe it can do the impossible."

"Even after that?" Taiyang asked, referring to the hug.

"Gotta start somewhere." Raven said with a shrug.

"It's three months." Cinder stated to Ozpin.

"I don't even know her." Ozpin emphasized and he was shown looking at moving picture of Salem atop a taxi.

Salem smirked, "This is going to be a train wreck."

"We both did this. So whether we like it or not, we're in this together." Salem stated as both her and Ozpin walked towards a press conference, "We have to embrace the spontaneity of the moment."

"Woman knows what she wants." Robyn said in approval.

"With context of this entire situation. I doubt that." Ironwood said and she rolled her eyes.

"She was a real go getter back then." Ozpin said with a small smile.

"I don't wanna be the punchline." Salem stated as she said her goodbyes to Ozpin the car and he waved at her.

"Aww, He looks like such a lost puppy." Emerald said.

"Yeah, what a loser." Mercury said with a chuckle.

"What do you mean?" Emerald asked with a raised eyebrow.

"What? You said he looks like a lost puppy." Mercury reiterated.

"And puppies are cute. This Ozpin is so fish out of water about all of this that he makes it cute." Emerald explained and Mercury jaw dropped in shock.

"What do I do?" Ozpin asks on the red carpet.

"Just stand and smile." Cinder advised.

Ozpin stood with Salem and they both smiled as hundreds of photos of them were taken.

Glynda narrowed her eyes, "She took my job..."

"They look oddly cute together." Sienna comments.

"Don't tell them that." Vernal said with a chuckle.

"This is the most unbelievable thing that could ever happen in life." Summer said happily as Ozpin was shown being chased by paparazzi and Summer showed up, spraying the fire extinguisher onto them.

"Get yourself a friend like Summer that is going to give you and your popstar of a wife bad publicity by assaulting a group of representatives from multiple news outlets." Sienna said.

"Gee, you just find the...the things in everything, huh?" Summer asked with a strained smile.

Sienna shrugged with a satisfied smirk, "I try."

The couple were shown bowling and Salem leapt onto Ozpin at the strike she just made while all of that was recorded live.

"Right now, two hundred and thirty-seven thousand people are like "He looks like he's in math club."" Emerald read.

"I am in a math club." Ozpin states unabashedly.

Many smiled at the earnest nature that Ozpin exhibited, happy to see that he was just a normal guy wrapped in spontaneity.

''Knowledge is power, Salem. This nerd that enjoys classes of mathematics will change the world someday.' Something you'd always say. Looks like your universal counterpart is not that different from you...' Salem reminisced as she cracked a small smile.

"Hanging with you guys today, I don't know. It made me feel kinda...normal." Salem states as she was shown dancing with the kids in Ozpin' class while he watched with an entertained smile.

"It's the simple things in life, y'know?" Taiyang asked with a tear of joy.

"It's okay, buddy. I got ya." Qrow held him with tears as well.

"Come with me to the fall semi-formal." Ozpin suggested.

"Are you asking me to the school dance?" Salem asked dramatically.

"Well, I couldn't leave a note in your locker." Ozpin joked and Salem laughed.

"Aww!" Summer, Willow, Kali and Saphron expressed.

"Oh god, it's so sweet! Why is it so sweet!?" Roman exclaimed as he sniffed to keep the tears in.

"I don't know, man! I don't know!" Qrow exclaimed.

"Get over here, you criminal mastermind!" Taiyang exclaimed and Roman hopped over to them to join their hug.

Salem rolled her eyes with the smile on her face growing.

SAY

Ozpin and Salem were shown posing for their pictures at the school dance and Salem even sang on stage for the kids.

YES

"Aww!" Summer, Willow, Kali, Amber, Yang, Ruby, Nora, Pyrrha and Saphron expressed.

"God damnit." Ironwood said as he joined the guys while wiping the tears brimming in his eyes.

"She looks happy." Ozpin said with a smile.

"And how are you feeling?" Glynda asked.

"Happy." Ozpin replied.

"Call me if you're lonely." Ozpin said as he did his laundry while speaking to Salem on the Scroll.

The scene changed to show him brushing his teeth and his Scroll buzzed.

"Hello?" Ozpin asked as he answered it.

"I'm lonely." Salem said with a smile.

"Aww!" By now, almost all of the women in the room were awing at the universe.

The guys on the other hand were throwing around tissues at each other while holding each other as a form of comfort.

"I am too." Salem said quietly, genuinely smiling at the relationship formed within the universe.

Salem was shown singing on stage with Ozma and back at Ozpin's home, Ozpin, Summer and Pyrrha watched worriedly as Ozma reached for Salem's cheek.

"Are you afraid she'll fall back in love with Ozma and dump you?" Pyrrha asked as she was shown sitting next to her father, "I'd be afraid of that too."

"Like hell she will!" Yang exclaimed.

"She better not!" Saphron exclaimed.

"Don't ruin a perfectly good thing! Please!" Jaune shouted.

"We are all collectively down bad for this relationship! Please don't break out hearts!" Qrow stated and all the men except a few cheered in agreement.

"Don't let him go. Please." Salem muttered anxiously.

"We don't need to pretend. I don't fit." Ozpin stated to Salem.

"NOO!!!" Taiyang exclaimed.

"You do bro! You do!" Sun exclaimed.

"She's the one, man! Can't you fucking see that!?" Adam asked.

"Even Fox can see it!" Cardin stated.

"Dude! What the hell!?" Neptune shouted at that out of pocket statement.

SALEM

Salem was shown happily singing on stage.

"Queen shit." Yang stated and the women hummed in agreement.

OZPIN

Ozpin was shown smiling happily within a crowd.

"King shit." Qrow stated and the men hummed in agreement.

OZMA

Ozma was shown smiling on stage as well.

"Piece of shit." Whitely stated and everyone hummed in agreement, patting him on the back and giving him his props.

Ozpin and Salem were shown at an empty amusement park, smiling and laughing inside of a Ferris wheel then Salem was shown singing her heart out in front of a classical band while Ozpin watched in amazement.

"Each and every second passes and I fall even more in love with this universe." Summer states happily.

"They seem to be falling in love as well." Glynda said, smiling at the couple on screen.

Ozpin and Salem were shown dancing under the moonlight alone.

"Is this smart?" Ozpin asked.

"I think we left smart six weeks ago." Salem replied

They both leaned in and kissed.

MARRY ME

Ozpin sniffed happily and heard someone clearing their throat. He turned to see Qrow with the boys as he held his hand out and a tissue in the other.

"Come on, brother. There is no shame amongst brethren." Qrow stated.

Ozpin chuckled and joined them, causing the men to let out a cheer.

"Who do you think you are, man? Some...fan!?" Ozma asked as he confronted both Ozpin and Salem.

"No, I'm not a fan." Ozpin said, but the he paused as he looked back at Salem, "Well, I mean, I am now."

"You better be." Saphron said with a smirk.

"Saph!?" Jaune exclaimed.

"The hips, Jaune! The hips!" Yang exclaimed.

"Well? Miss Salem? How's our deal coming along?" Raven asked with a smirk.

Salem blew her nose and rolled her eyes, "You can have your freedom, I have shown weakness once again."

"Not weakness, Salem." Ruby said with a smile, "Love."

Salem smiled softly as Bill teleported to the front.

"Well, wasn't that a mush fest? Ready to move on?" Bill asked.

"That's your game? Make us feel things and then move on like nothing happened?" Qrow asked.

"Essentially." Bill replied.

"That's cold man...I respect that." Qrow stated.

"Yeah, that's a problem in itself." Winter said with a sigh.

"What's next?" Hazel asked, annoyed by all the lovey dovey crap.

"A tale of deception." Bill replied, twirling his cane enthusiastically.