Pirates of the Caribbean – Stealing the Interceptor

Cast:

Captain Jack Sparrow – Roman Torchwick

Will Turner – Jaune Arc

"Right," Zack said. "It's about time I showed you all one about everyone's favourite captain."

"Ooh, Captain Vale!" Pyrrha said.

"No, cereal girl, obviously he means me," Roman said. "Captain Roman Torchwick, best pirate to sail the seas."

"Captain Vale!"

"Captain Torchwick!"

"Captain Vale!"

"Captain Torchwick!"

"Why not both?" Zack said.

"Yes!"

"But in what order?" Zack said. "I'll flip a coin to see what to show first. Heads, Captain Vale. Tails, Captain Torchwick."

Roman whispered to Neo. "Make it land on tails, and I'll buy you enough ice cream to fill a truck."

Neo gave him a look.

"Alright, I mean steal. You in?"

Neo nodded.

"You know I can hear you, right?" Zack said.

"Drat, foiled again," Roman cursed.

"That's what you get, cheater," Nora said.

"Let's flip it," Zack said as he flipped the coin.

They watched as the coin seemed to spin forever in the air, before landing on Zack's hand.

"The pirate it is," Zack said.

"Yes! Guess I didn't have to cheat after all," Roman cheered.

"Awww..." Jaune said.

"Don't worry, you're next," Zack said. "Anyone ever seen two men steel a warship before?"

4 Atlesian soldiers marched by an overturned boat on the beach.

Suddenly, the boat sprouted legs on the bottom and walked towards the sea.

"That's one way of avoiding patrols," Emerald said.

"They're going back for retraining," Ironwood scowled.

"Oh, it's not their fault they were outwitted by the best pirate ever," Roman said.

"That just makes it worse," Winter said.

Under the sea, two men could be seen walking on the seabed, using the boat as a way to have air.

"This is either madness, or brains," Jaune said.

"It's remarkable how those two things coincide," Roman said.

"I'd say it's genius," Junior said. "It's working, isn't it?"

"I'm surprised the buoyancy of that boat hasn't sent them to the surface," Watts said.

"Physics, who needs them," Ruby said.

"We all do," Jaune said.

"The Rule of Cool supersedes the laws of physics!" Nora exclaimed.

"True," Oscar said.

Jaune stepped into a crab cage, couldn't get his foot out and proceeded to drag it along.

On top of the sea, a fisherman watched as the barrel tied to the crab cage moved.

"Well, at least no one that can do something saw that," Saphron said. "I'm not busting you out of prison if you get caught."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Clover said. "Punishment for piracy in that era was death by hanging."

"Yikes, better not get caught then," Mercury said.

On HMS Dauntless, Roman and Jaune climbed on board. With pistol and cutlass, they commandeered the ship.

"Everyone stay calm!" Roman yelled. "We are taking over the ship."

"Aye, avast!" Jaune said, pointing his cutlass at the few sailors and officers onboard.

The sailors laughed at the audacity of the two.

The others there laughed too.

"Oh, good one," Adam said in between tears.

"Are you two really hijacking a ship with only two men?" Coco said.

"Even I can't do that," Tyrian said.

"Mostly because you'd kill most of the crew," Hazel said.

"Why, I'll show you how it's done!" Roman said. "Arc! Get ready to work your ass off! You'll be doing the work of a dozen men!"

"I don't work for you!" Jaune said.

"I'm a pirate! I don't care!"

"This ship cannot be crewed by two men," the officer, Scarlet said. "You'll never make it out of the bay."

"Son," Roman said, pointing his pistol at Scarlet. "I'm Captain Roman Torchwick. Savvy?"

"Like that answers everything," Port said.

"Sure it does," Roman said.

"Alright, I have twenty on Roman getting caught again," Vernal said.

"Thirty on them being made to walk the plank," Cinder said.

"You know that's only in movies, right?" Watts said.

"Does it matter? I still want to watch him get tied up in chains and thrown overboard."

"We still need him, ma'am," Emerald said.

"Oh right," Cinder said. That was disappointing.

At the dock, the sailors were going about their business, resupplying their ships when Sage noticed something.

"Commodore," Sage said, making Neptune look at sea.

Neptune pulled out his telescope to get a better look.

"Sir! They've taken the Dauntless!" Scarlet yelled.

He saw Scarlet and his few sailors on a small boat, pointing at the Dauntless.

"They've taken the ship! Torchwich and Arc have taken the Dauntless!"

Neptune saw Torchwick instructing Jaune on how to crew a ship.

"Rash, Arc. Too rash," Neptune said. "That is without doubt the worst pirate I have ever seen."

"Careful boy, those are fighting words," Roman said.

"You are trying to sail a ship with only two men," Neptune said. "Even I know that's impossible to do quickly."

"Hmm, well it was nice knowing you," Melanie said. "Think the guillotine is invented yet?"

"I like my neck the way it is, thank you very much," Jaune said.

"This is what you get for associating with Torchwick, of all people," Glynda said.

"Hey, I'll have you know that I'm a role model that all young men can learn from," Roman said.

"Yes," Tai said. "Learn what not to be."

Neptune went to order his ship to intercept.

Jaune ran up to the upper deck, where Roman was.

"Here they come," Jaune said.

They saw a ship come for them, however, the sight merely made Roman smirk.

"You're looking forward to this," Miltia said. "You're a bloody lunatic."

"Aw, thanks for the compliment," Roman said.

"That wasn't one!"

Neo pouted. Where was she in all this? She better be first mate, otherwise there would be a reckoning!

"Bring her around! Bring her around!" Scarlet yelled as the ship passed them.

Grapples were thrown onboard the Dauntless as Atlesian sailors boarded.

"Search every cabin, every hull down to the bulge," Neptune ordered as he got onboard.

Unnoticed by the sailors, Roman and Jaune swung onto their ship, which was now abandoned.

Roman cut off the rope holding the Interceptor to the Dauntless, freeing the ship. The boarding planks fell off as the ship got away.

"Well, that's one way of getting away," Sun said.

"My ship!" Neptune yelled.

"Ha! I told you those were fighting words!" Roman said.

"How are you going to avoid them trying to sink you," Robyn asked.

"Well, you know those old sailing ships," Roman said. "No turrets."

"He sabotaged the rudder, didn't he?" Ilia said.

Neptune turned around and saw that his ship had just been stolen.

"Sailors, back to the Interceptor, now!" Neptune ordered.

A sailor tried to swing onboard, but the Interceptor was too far away now.

"Man in the water," Velvet said.

"Poor lad," Ghira said.

"Shouldn't have tried to board a ship commanded by Captain Roman Torchwick," Roman said.

"You're going to say that a lot, aren't you?" Amber said.

"I like the ring of it," Roman said. "Captain Roman Torchwick."

Roman took off his hat and waved towards Neptune from his place on the helm. "Thank you, commodore for getting us ready to make way! We'd have had a hard time of it if by ourselves."

"Now that's just putting salt on the wound," Ozpin said.

"Men, fire on that pirate!" Neptune yelled.

"Aye, aye, sir!" Sage and Scarlet said.

"Why aren't you following orders?" Neptune asked Sun.

"I'm your boss, remember?" Sun said.

"Oh, right..."

The sailors fired their muskets at the Interceptor, getting Jaune and Roman to duck away.

Neptune walked away.

"Set topsails and clear up this mess," Neptune ordered Sage.

"But the winds are on course for our stern, we won't catch them," Sage said.

"I don't need to catch them, just get them in range of the long knives," Neptune said.

"Hands, come about!" Sage yelled. "Run out the guns!"

The sailors readied the cannons.

"Prepare to join so many others at the bottom of the sea," Mercury said.

"Wait for it," Roman said.

"We are firing on our own ship, sir," Sage said to Neptune.

"I'd rather see her at the bottom of the ocean than in the hands of a pirate," Neptune replied.

"Commodore," the helmsman said. "He's disabled the rudder chain sir."

"There it is," Roman said.

"Oh, you criminal!" Winter said.

"Pirate, remember?" Roman said.

"Well, he is entertaining as one," Willow said.

"Don't root for the pirate, dear," Nicolas said.

"Well, he does seem quite dashing," Willow said.

"I think I preferred you when you drunk your days away," Jacques said.

"We don't," Winter, Weiss and Whitley said.

On Scarlet's boat, Scarlet looked up as a shadow covered them. The Dauntless was about to run into them.

"Abandon ship!" Scarlet yelled as he and his sailors jumped out of the boat.

Neptune closed his eyes as he heard the ship crash into the small boat, knowing that they would never catch them now.

"That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen," Sage said.

"So it would seem," Neptune said.

The Interceptor sailed out for the high seas, still flying the ensign of the Royal Atlesian Navy.

"And don't you forget it!" Roman yelled.

"Varsilles, you're fired!" Ironwood said.

"But I'm not in the military," Neptune said. "Hell, I don't even study at your school."

"Doesn't matter. You're fired anyway."

"Huh, does that mean I can collect unemployment benefits now?"

"This seemed a bit short," Oscar said.

"Well, it was done in a day," Zack said.

"The guy writing this is so lazy," Nora nodded.

CRACK!!!

Zack stared at the screen, noticing the cracks.

"I'll fix that later," Zack said.

"What are you two talking about?" Kali asked.

"You don't want to know," Zack said. "Anyway, time for the star spangled man with a plan. But which scene though?"