2/10/22

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i look into a mirror every morning and i do not see a face.
i do not see a life, a personality; i barely even see light in the eyes.
i do not see a face because i am not yet familiar with this face.
i fear, if i memorize its shapes, its shadows, its minute details, that i will be stuck with it.
i am content to believe it is different in my mind, that my eyes are tricking me.
for in my denial i can believe that my expressions are charming, that someday i'll win the heart of a beautiful girl with a brilliant smile.
i am content in my denial because it protects me from knowing myself on an outer level.
i am content in my denial because it lets me believe that things are different.

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