Time seemed to pass so slow.

Adderheart wasn't even sure he could recall a time before the battle. It was all muddled and sort of fuzzy, and he could only recall cats or names. Cougarstar's actions and the two elders stuck out, and some interactions between him and Pantherleap also made their presence known. Yet besides that? It was all messed up and he couldn't remember.

He'd told Nova after he'd cried in front of her the day before. He didn't like to cry anymore. It just felt like he was wasting his time on something he couldn't control — not what he was crying over. The fact that he was crying. It was a waste of time and it didn't really help anymore.

At first, it had almost helped him cope, because he could barely even get words out about what had occurred. Though now he could and crying was just a copout so he didn't have to say anything. Crying was just stupid. He didn't understand why everyone cried after bad things had happened to them.

Most of the rogues seemed fine after the battle. So why couldn't he be okay, too?

No matter how hard he tried to rid his mind of the thoughts and memories regarding Pantherleap, that seemed to be stuck. The tom was like glue, never leaving and always present. It was not always a bad thought, but it was frequently a sad one. Something like I'll never get to see him again followed by tears in his gaze, which of course triggered an onslaught of angry thoughts.

To him, crying over Pantherleap was just like crying over a rock. The rock wasn't going to move and nothing about it was going to be new or cool or shiny anymore. The rock had already had its time, and its time was over. And now it was time for everyone to find a new rock, and to him, it seemed like a lot of cats already had.

But he still couldn't. His paw was trapped beneath it and since the rock would not move, he had accidentally caught himself in a spot where he, too, was stuck. And so he stayed close to the rock, trying to get away before ultimately giving up. There was nothing he could do. So while everyone else moved on and saw new rocks up ahead, he could only see one single rock.

And that was all there was to it.

His little den had been upgraded, and he had since been moved to a small den on the side of the camp. Cats had spent most of the day digging a little hole for him and now there was a tiny dip in the camp's side. And after he had fallen asleep and woken up, there was a little area above it; a small overhang made of leaves and some sticks.

The area beneath was just a small nest, made of moss and carefully created. There were even a few flowers surrounding it, alongside a couple shiny and smooth pebbles. He didn't know who had made it, though he had asked Nova, and she had told him that she wasn't too sure either, leaving him a little confused.

Yesterday was the day he'd moved in. He considered a sort of move, as he no longer had to squeeze into his old home. This den was nice and comfortable and with the snow that seemed to fall and coat the ground all the more, it was overall just nicer and better. The flowers, when wilted, would disappear and reappear within a few hours and he asked a few others who had been doing it.

He'd even asked Tawn, and she said she didn't know.

The tom began to suspect it to be some form of fake trick, as though he was supposed to believe that it was some random force that was moving the flowers and replacing them with fresh ones. But he didn't know who would do that in the first place, and he wasn't about to go around asking who had moved his flowers.

Now, he was comfortably settled into his nest, peering at the flowers below. They were white yet somehow still a little creamy, and they had pleasant yellow centers. Of course, they smelled of pollen and of the forest, but of a forest that he didn't really recognize anymore. It smelled sort of pine-y and sort of spruce-y.

Turning away from them to look around the camp, which he could see a little sliver of because of how his den was, the tom spotted a few cats milling around. They seemed to be getting ready to leave, though. His gaze soon caught upon the fresh-kill pile nearby. It was essentially empty, only harboring a few things left.

It would've been more interesting if he had been able to leave camp. Despite his physical health slowly getting better — he could walk, sort of, and he could get up by himself now, sort of, and he didn't have to have all sorts of herbs plastered on his pelt at all times anymore — he still couldn't leave camp. It was Aurelian's orders, and he had to follow what she said.

The cat he talked to the most was Nova. She often stopped by and offered a few nice words before suggesting that he talk to someone else. She had introduced him to the majority of the Clan without him actually having met many cats yet. He knew the names of most of the cats now, even if he only knew them by their name and what they looked like.

She didn't often give her own opinion on the cats of the group, but she did offer a mild personality for them. He was grateful that she was willing to talk to him, but sometimes Adderheart felt as though she was only doing it because she felt bad. Maybe that was why anyone wanted to talk to him at all; because they felt bad about what had happened.

Since the meeting, none of the cats that had wanted him out had been necessarily mean to him. But Wasari didn't talk to him, and so he worried that Emesan had gotten to the tom before Adderheart had managed to snag another conversation with him. Faevyli, of course, didn't bother speaking to him, but that was something he had expected.

The pale tom lifted himself up and he watched as Sand, a spotted sandy she-cat, called together the group of cats that were milling around the camp — this happened to be Irena, a short-furred tortoiseshell, Dandelion, an older pale yellow-pelted she-cat, and Wasari. Surprise lightly flitted through the tom but he listened in on their conversation. What else was he supposed to do?

"We should hunt," Sand suggested, strolling forward as the three others padded to surround her. Wasari's skull dipped in agreement and Adderheart could see his eyes flit to him.

"...invite him?" The tom had lowered his voice a little and was staring straight at Adderheart. He could guess what he was saying, though, and the former warrior couldn't help but feel a spark of anxiety.

I can barely get up. I can't go hunting. Don't let me go, say no. Don't—

"Perhaps," Sand spoke, turning to him. She tipped her skull before politely asking, "would you like to come with us? We're going hunting. Maybe we could show you the territory, so it's easier for when you'll go exploring?"

Her tone was nice but he could almost sense the annoyance of the others in the group. Perhaps he was thinking it up, making it up, like he usually did whenever something was totally fine and he was insistent on ruining it. Yet he noted that Dandelion shifted a little and Irena gave only a half-nod instead of a full one. Wasari looked a little excited but that was normal.

With his skull shaking in response, he unsteadily answered, "N-no, I'm alright... I don't think I'll be able to even walk correctly." A half-smile rose, as though he was laughing at his own misfortune.

Sand nodded. "Want me to get Aurelian so you can get some healing?" She questioned, taking a few steps toward the exit of the camp.

He immediately shook his head, and the she-cat nodded before peering back to her group. Her tail waved as though to notify them all that they were leaving, and all three of them bounded to stand behind her.

"Should we split up?" Sand had turned her back on him yet he could still hear the group.

"Maybe pairs," Dandelion suggested.

"I don't mind," Irena spoke. Her voice was smooth like honey, yet not as sweet and deeper than he had expected.

"I don't really care either," Wasari offered in his still half high-pitched tone. Adderheart could almost sense the smile that had risen on the tom's features.

"Sure, then. Pairs," Sand offered decisively, casting a curious look back to the fresh-kill pile. "Two per cat, at least three per pair though? In case someone can't get something of course."

All of the others nodded and Wasari shifted a little closer to Irena. "Can I be her partner?" He asked, casting a look up at her with a happy smile rising. Are they related? Adderheart doubted it but maybe it was possible.

"Yeah," Dandelion offered, "I'd hate to be paired with such a young and bothersome tom such as you, so sure, Irena, take him."

The group laughed and Adderheart was surprised by the happy mood that was contained so delicately between them all. Any sort of behavior like this in SageClan would've been considered wrong or even bad — perhaps simply just never happened in the first place. He doubted anyone was this happy back in SageClan.

Then again, what did he know?

The group, after confirming partners, nodded and headed off. Wasari excitedly slipped through the entrance, followed by a slower Irena, and Dandelion took her time practically meandering through the exit of the camp. Sand peered back around camp and offered a polite smile to him before she, too, left.

And only then did he have a strong urge to leave.

He'd been kept in the camp for so long that he barely remembered a world outside of it, though perhaps that wasn't directly caused by his prolonged stay. He didn't know any of the territory because he hadn't walked to the camp himself, and he hadn't exactly seen it before. He knew a little bit of it but that was only near the edges.

Why would he go to the edges now, though? Near the edges would be SageClan, and he never wanted to see them again. What if he got kidnapped by Bearstar and had to go back? Then everyone would hate him. At least with the rogues, they were nice to him and were unwilling to be too rude. Besides Emesan and Faevyli obviously.

Yet he didn't want to go back to SageClan. At first, there hadn't been a difference to him. But now there definitely was and he didn't want to go back. He wanted to stay with the rogues and so he would never go to the border.

Pantherleap is at the border.

Well, that wasn't something he wanted to have thought of. If Pantherleap was at the border... suddenly, a stronger urge to get up and leave filled him and the tom could do nothing but try to struggle his way up to his paws after a momentary pause. The tom struggled out from his den and sat up, wrapping his tail around his paws.

His eyes cast longingly at the entrance and he shivered. If only he could get to the border, then maybe he could catch a smell of Pantherleap. Or perhaps he'd catch a nice SageClanner, and they'd be able to tell him where Pantherleap's body was. I want to see him. Please let me see him.

Ears pinning, he tried to lift himself to his paws, yet his bad paw quickly interrupted such a motion and he tumbled to the ground with a loud thump. Anger briefly burst within him like a balloon that had been popped and he shifted uncomfortably, once more pulling himself into a sitting position as to try and cover up his fall.

Looking at the camp's entrance once more, a spark of worry filled him. What if he could never walk again? Peering down to his paw, he frowned. It still hurt quite a bit but he had been given herbs for pain, and a few of them did the trick well enough so that he didn't have to struggle so much with trying to get his focus off the never-ending pain he felt.

Trying once more to lift his figure up from the ground, he could do nothing but fall. And again as he tried, he fell. And once more did he try, this time trying to limp a bit, he fell. Nothing worked. I thought I could walk! I thought I was doing better!

Frustrated, he lifted his good paw and rubbed at his swiftly blurring gaze. He looked at it and tried to stand himself up on his two back paws and was able to wobble for a little bit in the air. Unsteady, he looked around him and tried to place his good paw onto the ground. Yet, before he could even start setting his paw down, he lost his balance and crashed to the ground.

Before he could scramble back into a sitting position, his ears pricked and he caught a noise. This sent a flurry of panic through him and he tried his best to get back up, yet a voice soon split the air.

"Are you alright?"

It was Nova.

"N-no," he hiccupped, words rushing out as an awkward breath of air. "I-I want to see Pantherleap at the— the border."

"Well, you're not going to get there without help," she mewed softly, approaching with something cradled in one of her paws. "I got something for you, actually, to help with walking. Aurelian told me how to make one and I wanted to help—"

"What is it?"

The she-cat laid a small object in front of him. It was... strange.

The bottom of it was smooth and had small holes created into its surface, and it looked to be made of wood. It stretched over where he assumed a paw would go, and from there it had moss straps that seemed to go around a cat's leg.

"It's a little... paw thing," she stated, "I don't know what it's called. Let me see your paw." Tentatively, he lifted a paw out for her, and she shook her head, offering, "your injured paw."

"Sorry," he muttered, feeling dumb for not having done that right away. He put his injured paw forward, and she nodded.

"It's alright. Can you put it up and down and lift it a little bit up from the ground?"

Adderheart could only do as he was told — he put his paw so that it looked like he was about to step down onto the ground, yet it hovered slightly above. Nova nodded and she used her paws to wrap the mossy straps around his leg, quickly working. Shortly after, she slipped the smoother bottom part underneath his paw.

This allowed the top part to come over the upper portion of his paw, and soon as he peered down, he found it mostly covered. The back of his paw was secured by a few moss straps, enforced by grass, and he looked back to the she-cat as she continued to fasten the device around his paw.

Using some grass she had grabbed from nearby, she used it to steady the moss straps that wrapped themselves around his leg. Eventually, she paused and tugged on it a little. Nothing moved and he could only feel a small tug, though that was sort of expected. With that, though, she pulled back.

"There you are," she offered with a small smile. "Now you can walk."

"Are— are you sure?" Adderheart's ears flattened. "What if I break it? How do I use it?"

"You just walk," she explained, "stand up and place your good paws down first. It'll make it easier, and after that, you can just walk. You won't break it, I promise."

Adderheart couldn't help but feel a spark of worry that soon transformed into a merciless flame. What if he did break it? How would she make another one? What if he still couldn't walk and he was doomed to a world where he had to ask for help every single time he wanted to move? His ears pinned further and he unsteadily looked down to it.

He was waiting for something to happen — perhaps it would break and he wouldn't have to try to walk with it. But nothing did. Nova still stood with a polite smile, her eyes twinkling slightly as she looked at him, encouraging him silently. Pressure continued to build on him but he knew he had to try, even if she was still standing there. Even if he would've rather done it alone.

This isn't for me, it's to see Pantherleap. This is to see Pantherleap, he reminded himself after a small breath. Poison inside his head snapped, There's no guarantee. You're dumb if you think this'll work. You're dumb, this is dumb, you're—

Carefully, he lifted himself up and tried to ignore the voice that still rattled on in his skull. Using his body to heave himself upward, the tom exhaled as he pressed his good back paws onto the ground. Then, lightly, he placed his good paw on the ground, followed by the bad one.

He lightly just let it stay there. He was just standing. Then he put a little more pressure down on his paw, and he didn't fall. A wave of confusion followed by strong excitement followed. Adderheart continued to put little bits of pressure down before he eventually stopped and just stood there, suspended in time.

And just like that, he walked toward the entrance of the camp and exited.

Nova barreled past him, jumping and excitedly meowing, "You did it! You walked!"

He looked at the soft green grass beneath him, and despite wanting to run all the way to Pantherleap, he knew he couldn't, and so he turned back around. Slipping back into camp, Nova bounced excitedly around him, tail waving as she smiled brightly.

"You did it! I told you!" She cheered, tail flickering upward into the air as she nudged him. "Now we can go on walks together too, and discuss prey, maybe we can even hunt, too!"

"I did— I did do it," he confirmed with a slow nod, looking back at her, "I did."

Everyone can walk. You're not special.