Here is the last chapter of this short story. Typographical errors in the literal speech are intentional. Have fun reading.

I've been staring at the ceiling of my bedroom for 2 hours now. It was crazy. As much as I had resisted letting Ellie's words fall on fertile ground, I still couldn't stop thinking about them.

Sam liked me? Should I really believe that? And why did the thought turn my stomach in this strange but not at all negative way? When I thought of Ben, I felt it too, but in his case it suddenly felt more like a gastrointestinal illness. That moment when you felt like you had to run towards the bathroom at any moment. What was wrong with me and why did I only now realize that being with Ben wasn't what I really wanted?

Ben had texted me that evening saying he had to work late but wanted to come over. I had put him off until tomorrow with the excuse that I wanted to go to bed early. I did that too, but still couldn't get any sleep because my thoughts just wouldn't let go of the conversation with Ellie and the others and fragments of it kept popping into my head.

Should Sam really have more in store for me than the deep friendship that we now shared? It would explain why he had looked so shocked when Ben showed up the morning after my birthday, and then somehow even hurt when he left. It would explain all of his behavior over the last few weeks. I couldn't imagine what it was like to be so insulted that you had lost.

But did he?

How did I really feel about Sam?

He had become my best friend. I couldn't talk to anyone or laugh with anyone like I could with him. I always really enjoyed being with him and felt safe and secure in his presence. With him I never had to think about what I was saying. There was nothing he would hold against me. Just like I couldn't ever be mad at him about anything.

I thought for a moment how I would feel if Sam turned to a woman. Maybe even a colleague. Ellie maybe or Jodie or Krystyna? My stomach turned and I felt a deep anger and sadness welling up inside me, which immediately made me shake those thoughts away. I could do it. Sam couldn't do it.

Frustrated, I pulled back the covers and sat up, running my hands through my hair. I had to clear my head. I really needed to get my thoughts in order somehow.

Jog! That always helped. The fresh air, the exercise, and I might end up tired enough to get some sleep.

So I put on my jogging suit and tied my hair back up. I didn't think about it for long, but took the path through the forest. It was a long loop of about 10 kilometers. After the first third I reached the beach and walked along it. I closed my eyes and blocked out my own steady breathing as I listened to the sound of the sea. I loved the sea so much. It always brought me down, no matter how stressed or annoyed I was about anything. I just walked like that for minutes, opening my eyes sporadically to make sure there wasn't any driftwood in my path to walk over as I completely lost myself in the sound of the waves.

Until a scream made me freeze. I immediately stopped and listened, but nothing happened anymore. Someone had to be in danger, I thought, and I ran on, this time as fast as I could, until I saw someone in the distance crouched in the sand with his arms on his bent knees, covering his face in the gap between.

"Sam?!" I called out in surprise when I was close enough to see him and slowed down when he jerked upright.

"Penny?!" he asked, almost horrified, as he quickly wiped his eyes with one hand and stood up, while trying to hide something behind him with the other hand. He wasn't quite on his feet when he staggered and spread his arms to regain his balance, revealing what he had been trying to hide - a nearly empty bottle of whiskey. Was he drunk?

"Did...did you drink?" I asked him in surprise when I finally reached him and he followed my gaze to the bottle in his hand before shrugging his shoulders.

"It makessss a lot of thingssss eassssier. You can ccccertainly ssssing a ssssong about it, can't you?" he replied to me a little sarcastically and with a smile that didn't look nearly as sincere as it perhaps should be as he put the bottle on and drank another gulp. I blinked in confusion as I realized Sam had been crying. I saw it in his eyes, which were still red and glassy. It couldn't just be from alcohol.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked him skeptically.

"Your birth...birth...birthday? Ben?" he helped me, almost choking on the word birthday because his foggy brain was almost no longer capable of such words. Nevertheless, his accusation hurt me and upset me, because it had been nothing else.

"I...it wasn't planned or intentional. I..." I awkwardly searched for a way to explain it to him, when I actually just wanted to forget it and wished it had never happened.

"You didn't know what you were doing? Yessss, that'ssss the beautiful thing about alcohol. For a few hourssss you feel fine and you can forget all your worriessss, you can be ssssomeone else and let yoursssself go. But I still prefer to drink alone. Then I don't have to expect any...sssequences... or wake up the next morning and realizzzze that I've made a misssstake. The worsssst thing that can happen to me here issss that I'll fall into the ssssea and drown. I don't care," Sam babbled and I had to struggle to keep up with him because he kept tripping over his own tongue and stumbling back and forth as he unsuccessfully tried to convey his words with gestures. But his last words shocked me so much that I decided to put a stop to it.

"But I do, Sam. Don't say anything like that!" I replied seriously and went over to grab him by the arm and force him down on the sand next to me. He fell backwards as soon as we were sitting and I couldn't help but shake my head and laugh as I immediately helped him back into an upright position.

"Wwwhy not? You have Ben. I don't have anyone. I'm alone and I'll alwaysss be becaussse I'm not a good man" he replied and accompanied his words by taking another sip. The bottle was now empty and he resignedly threw it on the sand next to him.

"Sam, you're the best person Pontypandy has - if not the world," I reassured him that he was completely in the wrong.

"But I'm not gggood enough to dessserve your love. That makesss my life pointlessss. I thought I could cope with jussst having you asss a friend. It wasss alwaysss enough for me. But ssseeing you with sssomeone elssse and from all the men in thisss world, even with thisss greasssy and shot-happy pretty boy...that really hurts," he sighed pitifully and took his heart, but took his eyes off the horizon. However, it didn't change the fact that I could see how much he was really suffering. I saw it in his eyes. Why did my heart just seem like it wanted to overturn and hurt at the same time?

"So what Ellie says is true?" I asked him surprised and he turned back to me.

"What did ssshe sssay?" he replied, confused.

"That you're in love with me?" I told him and he rolled his eyes and snorted as if he was trying to imitate a horse. Now my heart just hurt.

"That'sss a huge underssstatement, but yes, I am," he replied, waving his hand as if we were talking about his biggest hobby. Did he even realize what we were talking about? How drunk was he really? Would he still know in the morning that he had met me on the beach? Would he take advantage of the situation if I gave him the chance?

"Would you kiss me?" I asked him to test him and his head immediately snapped around to me, his eyes wide.

"What?" he asked me and I thought I saw something like hope in his eyes for a moment before his face darkened again. "Mmm don't you think that would be a bit inappropriate?!"

"It certainly would be if I were sure about Ben," I replied with a shrug and wrapped my arms around my bent knees before looking out to sea. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sam still staring at me. "Yes, I made a mistake that night, but I haven't repeated that mistake since. I couldn't. As nice as Ben's attentions are and the fact that I'm not always alone, that seems to be all there is to it between us. Since the morning I can't get out of my head how hurt you seemed and it still hurts me to think about it, just as much as it hurts that we can't interact normally anymore," I admitted to him. If he didn't know about it tomorrow, I'd just tell him again once he got over his hangover. I would do it as many times as I had to until he forgave me.

"I don't want any pity, Penny," he stated sullenly and began to draw something in the sand between his legs with his finger.

"I won't feel sorry for you either, Sam," I said simply, noting that it was a heart in which he had written our letters before he erased it again. My heart had just been fluttering with joy, but now it hurt again. Could my body send me any clearer signals that this man next to me was the one?! "I never realized it or rather I suppressed it because I never thought that you could be interested in anything else, as at work. Ben was the first to make me think. He suggested to me on the morning of my birthday that he had always feared that we would both start things up because we were so close and Ellie told me quite clearly today that she thought that too. I had to rethink everything and I realized one thing since this morning, while I miss you dearly, You are the one I would have wished I had woken up next to that morning and every morning and you're the only one who can make me happy, because without you, I'm not happy and..." I stopped, had to, because Sam's lips suddenly were on top of mine and I couldn't resist as he silently asked me to deepen the kiss as he flipped me over and I found myself on my back in the sand. I didn't care. I was enjoying it too much for that and even though Sam tasted like whiskey, it was the most breathtaking and wonderful thing I had ever done.

Sam might have been drunk, but his closeness, his kisses, and his hands holding me and giving me a comfort I never thought possible almost clouded my brain the same way and I gasped as his lips left mine and moved to my neck while his hand found its way under my sweater.

"I'm not going to do anything more. I'm drunk. If I'm ever going to be chosen for thisss by you, I'd like to have all my sssensssesss together becaussse I don't want to missss a sssecond," he stated after an uncertain time of us just lying there and kissing and our hands wandering and I was a little disappointed, but it showed me that he was exactly as I had presented him to Ellie and as she had agreed with me. Honorably."And becaussse I want to be better than him," he then added with a broad grin and less honorably, making me laugh. Oh, how I had missed that.

"You definitely will be," I replied with a laugh and gently pushed him back a little so that I could stand up and then pulled him to his feet as well. "Come with me!"

"Where to?" he asked me, visibly confused, but followed me, which was perhaps because I was holding his hand and didn't think to let go.

"To my house. You should sleep and it's closer."

"What if Ben findsss out?" he replied, confused.

"He won't. And if he does, he shall. I'll talk to him tomorrow and apologize to him," I objected with a shrug and Sam stopped, which I had to do thanks to our intertwined hands. I looked up at him questioningly.

"What do you want to apologizzze for? That he took advantage of your condition?" he asked and I noticed with a smile that his pronunciation was slowly getting better.

"He was as drunk as I was. It's hard to say if he was taking advantage. It was a one-time thing and will always be. I want to apologize for raising hopes in him that I didn't was ready in the first place to fulfill but ignored it because he asked me for this chance. I should have been honest with myself from the beginning, then I would have realized much sooner that you were the only one I always wanted and saves us all of that."

"You're remarkable, Penny."

"Remarkable enough that you can forgive me for that?" I asked him embarrassed, but he stood in front of me so quickly and lifted my chin with two fingers so that he could look me in the eyes and kiss me softly that I literally melted away.

"There'sss nothing to forgive. You didn't owe me anything, but even if you did, I would forgive you everything. It always takesss two and in thisss cassse, it was my fault for not confessssing to you sssooner", he said softly and there was so much happiness and love in his eyes that it completely overwhelmed me and I kissed him.

"Let's stop to blame and start again, okay?" I then asked him and he nodded with a smile as we tried to move on and I stepped on something. I immediately bent down and picked up the empty whiskey bottle that Sam had thrown away earlier. "And I'd say we'll start by saying we'll never drink again," I said with a grin and leaned on Sam, who had laid his arm around me to pull me close and give me a kiss on the temple.

"Perfect suggessstion, Pen," he simply replied and we continued on our way. The path to a new life and a shared future. Exactly the life that I really wanted and that I was looking forward to with joy for the first time in weeks.

THE END