Art is by me, whoop! That's Shisui, MC, and Nara Toshiro!

Warnings: Suicide, panic attack, blood-- basically, just expect all the factors that comes with activating the Mangekyou Sharingan. Anyway, enjoy!

~*~*~

Your age: 5

You skipped your first year of the academy, because you knew you would never fit in with your classmates.

The Hyuuga don't associate themselves with an Uchiha, the Nara-Yamanaka-Akimichi were already their own cliques, there were no Inuzuka, the Aburame kept to themselves, the Uchiha sneered at you because you were part of the 'bastard branch' with Obito, and the remaining students-- civilians-- followed the latter's lead.

Early graduation was not unreachable for you; Kakashi trained you hard enough to ensure that.

However, unlike Kakashi, you wanted to make friends-- like how your brother is best friends with Rin-nee. You want a close-knit relationship like that too.

So, you tried your luck in your second year.

Nara Toshiro and Uchiha Shisui were six when you first met them, with the former being the first to approach you with a game of shogi.

Toshiro is exactly how his name described him to be-- 'intelligent one', while Shisui was anything but 'still' and 'water'-- always so hyper and always so fiery with burning determination. With your affable and competitive attitude paired with your skills on par with theirs, you all clicked.

And then there were three.

...

You and Shisui made it both your jobs to embarrass Toshiro whenever either of you could.

It started when Shisui challenged you and Toshiro to see how many dango you could all fit in your mouths.

Toshiro, being the most mature of the three of you, declined the challenge. You didn't.

You and Shisui reached a stalemate, with both your cheeks resembling a filled chipmunk's, struggling to keep your lips tightly sealed. The impasse ended when the boy heavily drooled on his chin, which had you laughing. With your cheeks being stuffed with the colorful desserts, you ended up spitting all your collected dango at Shisui, who then deliberately retaliated back the same way.

The customers around the dango stand turned their heads to your group with the mixture of amused and annoyed glances, which had Toshiro turning into an interesting shade of red.

"Bothersome", the Nara had called the both of you with an unimpressed look.

You and Shisui shamelessly grinned at him, because all three of you heard the fondness in his voice.

He didn't like wasting his breath to tell you both to stop being stupid.

Toshiro resorted to just poking both your foreheads to wordlessly send his message across.

...

Before the three of you graduated, you asked each other what career paths each of you wanted to reach as shinobi.

Shisui wanted to be an elite jounin like his grandfather, Uchiha Kagami. Toshiro wanted to be a Jounin Commander like his uncle, Nara Shikaku.

Compared to their big dreams, yours wasn't as ambitious.

You told them you wanted to be an academy instructor. It seemed to be a profession you'd enjoy at the time. After all, Kakashi seemed to have enjoyed teaching you, despite voicing out otherwise.

(As your life changes, your dream changes with it.)

...

One day, all three of you graduated. Unfortunately, you did not end up in the same team as them due to standard team regulations.

Your sensei was aloof and strictly professional, while your two other-- older-- teammates did not like you serving as a replacement for their lost member.

One day, your first C-rank mission with your new team turned into your first nightmare.

Your squad of four was now reduced to just one.

One day, Toshiro died and Shisui activated his Mangekyou sharingan.

And then there were two.

One day, you met Uchiha Itachi.

(You were back to three.)

...

When you, Itachi, and Shisui discussed each of your dreams, one way or another, they were all connected.

Itachi dreamed of a world where there's no bloodshed.

Shisui dreamed of a world where there are no wars.

You dreamed of a world where no one has to die.

You three dreamed of true peace.

(But they're all just that-- dreams.)

...

The crows follow loyally after Shisui and Itachi. Summons, the birds are unofficially called, however they're anything but.

(They are ancient-- older than summoning contracts, older than tailed beasts, older than the existence of chakra. They are Death's advocates.)

You tried offering yourself as their summoner, but they had denied.

Shisui then told you about the Pledge of Death-- one must see, know, and understand death as the crows do, before they obey you.

You didn't understand.

All you know is that the crows are especially active every late summer due to the blooming red spider lilies.

The crows only have two summoners.

(And when you finally earned their loyalty, their number of active summoners remained the same.)

~*~*~

Your age: 14

Shisui's age: 15

"How are you still moving? I can't even bend my knees," You stared disbelievingly and enviously at how Shisui was easily walking to the tree you're under, before smoothly sitting beside you. Unfortunately, you weren't as graceful because as soon as you bent your joints to sit down, your body was out of commission. The only thing that kept you from sprawling over the grass was the tree your back was leaning on. Emptying your water bottle only seemed to have further emphasized your exhaustion.

"I've done this for years. It takes time," Shisui placated, before tilting his head with an amused smile adorning his lips. "You just started this regime, after all,"

Shisui absolutely deserves his moniker if this is how he trains his legs daily. The entire regime was torture and abuse for the lungs, feet and legs. He's a training junkie that specializes in speed, and now he dragged you into his personal (hell) training.

Most shinobi are stingy with their secret techniques. The fact that Shisui had no reservations sharing his with you made you appreciate him a little more than usual, so you had no qualms following his instructions no matter how difficult.

Alas, there's no such thing as instant results in training.

"Yeah, fair," You relented, wiping a stray sweat away from your temple, then attempting to massage the thighs of your outstretched legs. "But I never saw you walk like a newborn fawn," At this, he grinned.

"That's because I do it at night and then pass out with uninterrupted sleep,"

You huffed in barely concealed mirth at how proud he seemed to share that with you. Well, that at least explains why he sometimes oversleeps whenever you and Itachi plan an outing with him in the mornings. The boy sleeps like a log. You guess that if he trains like this daily, he deserves the rest.

For a moment, you closed your eyes to enjoy the temporary silence, letting your head tilt back to the trunk behind you. You let your thoughts drift to mundane things like: what you plan to have for dinner later, when will Itachi return from his ANBU mission, and the likes. Eventually, your wandering thoughts reminded you of what you've observed lately.

"Hey, I'm not sure if you noticed, but," Opening your eyes, you angled your head to face Shisui beside you, who looked like he's about to say something before clamping his mouth shut at your unexpected attention. "Is it just me or is the clan suddenly becoming chummy with me?"

Indeed, the Uchiha were now rather welcoming towards you. The clan started inviting you to clan-exclusive festivals, along with the fact that they offered to house you back within the compound, despite your self-exile.

That was not always the case.

'Bastard branch', they had called you because your ancestor married an honorary Senju member-- a Senju not by blood but by ceremony. Just like that, all his descendents were condemned to an unofficial exile where the Uchiha would scorn at their lineage (no Uchiha dared to mingle, much less marry into your branch). The only thing that had the branch stay in the compound was the risk of bloodline theft. However, slowly but surely, the dilution of the bloodline made it harder to activate the sharingan.

When you banished yourself from the clan, the Uchiha treated you as if you had committed the most sacrilegious act there was-- as if your desertion was underserved. You had every right to leave that toxic place with how they treated you and your brother for a circumstance that was hardly any of your fault.

When your grandmother and brother passed, nothing anchored you in the compound; so, you left. As expected, the Uchiha actively shunned and sneered at you whenever given the chance, except for a select few; so, you were baffled and suspicious with the sudden change of heart.

With a click of his tongue, Shisui gave the most likely explanation.

"It's because you're a B-rank seal master bordering on A-rank, along with the fact that you're the head of the Seal Corps. Plus, you're a tokubetsu jounin, turning into an elite in a few months," You're useful now, was implied but remained unsaid. Nevertheless, you both understand. "Not to mention that you're the only thing that's standing between me and an arranged marriage,"

Chuckling at Shisui's attempt to lighten the conversation, you remembered what occurred for the past weeks that amused a few of your friends ever since Shisui turned fifteen.

It's a no-brainer that the Uchiha elders would want Shisui to have a lineage in order to produce shinobi of his caliber in the future. With a shinobi's short life expectancy, the sooner he reproduces, the better. However...

"Yeah, and now because of that, a lot of Uchiha girls are lining up to duel me," You snickered. "Why is your condition for your future bride to beat me in battle?"

True, Itachi could've been an option to take your place, but you and Shisui know that the Uchiha elders wouldn't allow it. Compared to the clan heir, you're a choice that has a higher probability to be beaten by a candidate (even though one has yet to succeed). It's best to give an illusion that Shisui can get engaged, rather than straight-up deny the elders (they're a lot less fussy that way).

"Hey, you agreed," Shisui defended, grinning. "And you're the strongest kunoichi I know in our generation. I'm confident I won't get engaged,"

Flustered by the unexpected compliment, you coughed on your fist, looking away before mumbling your doubt with a pink face.

"I might lose to one of them, y'know?"

"You won't," He assured, his confidence unfaltering. "And if you still think you might, well, I am teaching you my signature technique,"

(It's not that much of a lie, but it's not the whole truth either. Shisui will provide you with every training he can if it means you won't follow after the people you've lost.)

"Ugh, can't they arrange this at least when you finish puberty?" You grumbled tiredly, as Shisui looked at you with a sheepish smile.

"Apparently, fifteen is old enough to be engaged and sixteen to be married," He said, shrugging exasperatingly. "If I'm allowed to fight them, I would, but apparently it's not appropriate for the groom to fight his potential bride,"

"So his best friend is the next best choice," You inferred, before huffing in good humor. "Ah well, it's good sparring practice, I guess. I don't mind being your samurai in shining armor,"

"Yes, so you have to protect your dashing prince's virtue from those harpies," He quipped back, closing his eyes while daintily placing a hand on his forehead to mockingly mimic a damsel in distress.

"Unfortunately," You jokingly muttered, and at this, Shisui stared at you for a short while, before speaking again.

"But hey, seriously," He voiced out earnestly, his dark eyes gleaming with a sincere sheen. "You don't have to keep doing this if you don't want to. I won't mind,"

At this, you scoffed disbelievingly in mock offense, before grinning reassuringly.

"Are you kidding? No way are you ending up in a loveless marriage under my watch,"

Somehow, Shisui knew you were gonna say something like that.

"Yeah," He gave you a look that matched the softness of his voice, before letting his eyes trail elsewhere. "Thanks."

You only hummed in acknowledgement, before jolting your back straight when you remembered something.

"Oh! I almost forgot!"

Grabbing your messenger bag beside you, you let it plop on your lap, lightly wincing when your sore leg muscles protested against the sudden weight. You nipped your thumb with your teeth, before swiping your blood on the security seal to unlock the bag. After briefly rummaging within your accessed contents, you finally pulled out what you were looking for.

"Ta-da!~" You handed the neatly piled stack of paper tags to Shisui, to which he carefully accepted.

"What's this?" He inquired curiously, eyeing the intricate symbols and kanji.

"That is a Disintegration Seal," You started proudly, "And I'm giving the first batch of successful copies to you,"

"How does it work?" You can always count on Shisui's curiosity for you to brag about your invention.

Slipping out your own copy of the seal from your bag, you then picked up a stray rock to show as demonstration.

"The amount of chakra you feed it is dependent on the mass of an object. The bigger the mass, the bigger the needed chakra input. With the right amount of chakra, it can disintegrate anything quietly and cleanly into dust," Applying the seal on your held stone, a quick pulse of your chakra was enough to have the fuuinjutsu sigils glow in activation, turning the mineral into a pile of white ash, along with the tag. "With this, we don't have to blow up gates, destructively destroy debris, or use any flashy jutsus when ridding of an obstacle-- it's basically a silent bomb! I had this idea when you ranted to me about using explosive tags that can alert enemies when you still want to remain covert,"

"That's-- that's amazing!" Shisui exclaimed in awe, now observing the stacks of paper with noticeable consideration. You clearly preened like a peacock at the praise. "But..."

At the drop of his enthusiasm, you eyed him in silent inquiry, wordlessly asking him to continue.

"Can it disintegrate people too?" His honest question dampened the light atmosphere.

Despite the morbid implication of the question, you understood why he asked this.

"No, it doesn't work on beings with an active Chakra Pathway System," You answered, solemnly eyeing the stacks of the Disintegration Seal. "The accidents that can happen with the prototypes, alone, are dangerous, and I'm afraid I'd only make it worse if it succeeds,"

If you were to design a seal like that, it would be labelled as a Kinjutsu with the accidents that could occur during the production, alone. There's a chance the prototypes of this seal could kill you with just one mistake, and that's a risk you're not willing to take.

(And if you succeed, the seal could easily be used against you.)

"What about corpses?" Shisui continued, and at this, you pondered for a bit.

"I haven't tested that yet, but--" Remembering the limited matrixes and ideograms you used, you realized you didn't program anything to exclude organic materials. "Oh, fuck."

True it may be that this could reduce bloodline theft, and be used as an instant cremation, however...

Assassinations and murders would be nigh impossible to solve without a corpse to investigate; missing people cases would multiply; fake deaths can be easily fabricated-- the seal could erase all evidence, and there's no undoing it.

All these possibilities totally escaped you, because none of those things came into mind while you were designing it. To think that you were so close to giving it to the department that's capable of reproducing it.

"Ugh, this was a mistake," You groaned, burying your face in your hands along with your diminished pride. Kami, you were so glad that you only showed the completed seal to Shisui. As much as it would hurt your ego, you'd have to tell the Hokage that you failed in this endeavor and would start a new project. "I can't give this to the Seal Corps recreation team,"

"If you think that's the right call, then don't,"

Yeah, you're definitely glad that you only showed the completed seal to Shisui. Maybe you should give a few copies to Itachi too.

"Mm..." You appreciated, before regarding the now only copies of your latest invention on Shisui's hand. "Still, I gave you the Disintegration Seal copies; so, you get to keep them,"

"Wha--" Shisui's eyes widened, before trying to hand you back your seals. "No, I couldn't possibly--"

"It's okay. I trust you wouldn't misuse them but," You said, as you uneasily played with your fingers. "Only use them for their intended purposes, okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry," He smiled reassuringly. "I will."

(One day, Shisui will look back at this moment and think that he was such a liar.)

You gave him a tired smile, before leaning back on the tree to rest. Both physically and emotionally exhausted, it was easy for you to submit to unconsciousness after giving Shisui your only warning.

"I'm gonna pass out now."

True to your words, you passed out.

...

Shisui watched as your breathing steadied into a rhythmic pace, indicating that you're fast asleep. He's honestly touched that you were quick to let your guard down around him, trusting him to keep watch in your state of vulnerability.

Sighing contentedly, he bathed at the serenity of one of the smallest respites in his chaotic life.

Too many things were happening, and he can barely breathe with the clan's pressure he's trying to subjugate. Some of the elders were proposing a coup, and he was grateful that Fugaku-sama did not agree to that... yet. Shisui can't be too sure.

If the Uchiha isolation and discrimination worsen...

Kami, his eyebags are starting to get eyebags. It won't be long before he emulates Itachi's stress marks on his face. Hopefully, you won't look too much into his fatigue, but he knows you well enough that you'd prod into the source of his exhaustion soon.

Shisui plans on solving the entire issue before his weariness becomes too obvious to you. He's trying. He's really trying, but the solutions offered were limited, and some were almost impossible to accomplish.

The proposal, most probable to succeed and most insisted by the elders, is for him to marry, well, you.

You, who had close ties with the war heroes Red Hot Habanero and the Yellow Flash-- Konoha's second jinchuuriki and the Yondaime. You, who's well-respected by most jounins (even Anko) and especially close to one of Konoha's elites, the Copy-Cat Nin. You, who's very familiar with the Jounin Commander, Nara Shikaku, to the point you're appointed as the Nara heir's godmother. You, who's Head of the Seal Corps-- an essential department that's in charge of the village's barriers and seal securities, which puts you high up the jounin hierarchy.

And it's not just the military side of the village you had influence on; you even had a reputation amongst civilians.

You, who's the unofficial guardian of the current jinchuuriki; an open secret that had the civilians regard you as the beast's tamer. You, the underdog who had garnered the civilians' favor because of your moral code against unnecessary killing, along with their pity because of the tragedies that struck your life-- your orphan and blacksheep status, your clan exile, the loss of your first friend, your team, your brother, your grandmother, your sister figure and your mentor (some have called you cursed; "poor girl", they said).

You are a political piece that the Uchiha needed.

It's no wonder to Shisui why the clan is playing nice with you.

If you reintegrate back to the clan as they are now, they will make you use your connections to utilize your family's and friends' positions. The best case scenario, you would exile yourself from the clan again; the worst would be your expressive distaste for the clan which would influence the people around you and would further segregate the clan from the village.

(The worst worst case scenario would be that if you refuse, the clan will make him use his Mangekyou on you, which will give permanence to your disdain towards the Uchiha. The clan does not know that they are not his top priority.)

If you obey the Uchiha, you will suffer from the guilt of manipulating your friends. If you disobey the Uchiha, you will suffer from the guilt of having him and Itachi stress over the clan's fallout.

Shisui can't trap you like that. He won't.

He promised Toshiro's grave he'd protect you, and he'll do just that.

If it means he'll bear it all in silence, he will.

(A true shinobi protects from the shadows.)

Suddenly, Shisui felt a sudden weight on his shoulder. Taking a glance to his occupied side, he noticed you were now leaning on him with a peaceful expression on your face. It would've made his heart race, if only you weren't drooling on his arm now. He can't wait to tease you with it later.

It's times like this that remind him that he's not just in love with a girl; he's in love with his best friend.

(There are no faults, flaws, nor imperfection that can have him disenchanted with you, because both of you have seen each of your worst sides-- parts of yourselves that you're both ashamed of. And since both of you accept those facets of each other's personalities, well... Only death could part him from you.)

Huffing in amusement, he wonders if you do this on purpose. Somehow, you always make yourself look and act endearing that he can't help but fall deeper, if that's any more possible.

One day, Shisui promised to himself.

One day, he'll tell you how he feels, preferably once the Uchiha tension dies down.

He will ask you out not for the clan; not for Uchiha Shisui, but just for Shisui.

And to him, you will not be the Head of the Seal Corps, not the godmother of the Nara heir, not the student of the Third War's heroes, but just you, his best friend.

One day; just not today.

For now...

With your hand next to his, he let his pinky finger wrap around your own-- not as intimate as lovers holding hands, but still intimate to get his subtle message across.

One day, he will look back at this memory and think that this was his vague declaration of feelings for you.

But for now, the gesture is nothing more than a pinky promise-- a promise that he repeats to himself everyday, ever since your confrontation with him regarding Toshiro's death.

(He'll be better; the best. For you, he will try to be better.)

You will not end up like Toshiro.

~*~*~

Your age: 15

Shisui's age: 16

Something didn't feel right when you left the village for your solo mission.

It was a simple B-rank mission within the daimyo palace where you'd set-up the updated versions of their security's barrier seals. The estimated time limit of this mission was a minimum of three days-- two if there were no attacks or mishaps. You entered the palace with no casualties; so, you easily deduced that it's not the mission you should be worried about.

(A stray crow eyeing you only made you more anxious.)

Because of the uneasy feeling, you forced yourself to finish in one and a half days, already heading to the village as soon as you're done. With the daimyo palace only a few hours away from Konoha, you should be able to reach the village gates by dusk if you keep your fast pace constant.

The moment you arrived, your shinobi instincts were screaming at you.

Not paying heed to the gate guards, you immediately searched for Shisui.

You don't know why him in particular, but something about his demeanor rubbed you the wrong way yesterday before you left. Itachi wasn't any better.

Both of them looked so distracted, troubled; tired.

Something was going on and neither of them were telling you anything.

You didn't find Shisui in his house, Itachi was out on a mission, and now you're checking every training ground around the Naka river for any signs of the older Uchiha.

A crow cawed to catch your attention.

Neck craning to follow the source of the familiar sound, you had a vague feeling that the crow perched on top of the nearby tree was asking you to follow.

You did, as soon as it flapped its wings and flew.

Eventually, the sun had set and you found yourself at the treeline of the training ground below the Naka cliff, giving you a good view of the waterfall above. The noise of water battering on water was nearly deafening, but you could barely hear it with your pulse reverberating in your ears.

You can't find the crow.

Your eyes tried catching any sort of movement within the darkness, but to no avail.

Looking up, your eyes narrowed when you saw a faint silhouette at the edge of the cliff, before widening when the figure fell backwards.

With a swiftness that nearly rivals the Yellow Flash's, your chakra-coated feet sped by the river's surface, as you focusedly kept your eye on the falling body. Powering your legs with a basic chakra augmentation technique, you jumped to latch your feet on the vertical cliff, not losing momentum even while you ran perpendicularly.

Once you made a sufficient mental calculation, you kicked off from the cliff's side, preparing to tackle and catch--

"Shisui?!" You exclaimed in shock, finally recognizing the fallen figure, almost forgetting to coat your hands and feet with chakra to stick to the nearest rock wall. You barely registered Shisui's panicked 'what are you doing here?!', as one hand held to balance him on your shoulder, while the other suffered sharp frictions and cuts from sliding down the vertical cliff to ease the acceleration of your descent.

Finally reaching the bottom, you hissed as you kicked off the wall, eventually removing your bleeding hand from the rough slope and landing on the nearest riverbed.

You barely glanced at your stinging wound, and directed all your focus to your best friend.

The moment you let Shisui stand on his own, your breath hitched when the moonlight shone to give you a good look at his eyes, or rather, his lack thereof. Blood lined down his cheeks, as if emulating morbid tears that evoke more of horror than sadness.

You also noted that his hitai-ate was missing.

"Who did this to you?" You lowly growled, already leaking Killing Intent at the bastard who committed bloodline theft on your best friend.

"I thought you'd be back by tomorrow," He said, and you knew it was his futile attempt to distract you. Nevertheless, you humored him, if only to lighten the situation to somewhat reassure him.

"Something didn't feel right, so I came back as fast as I could,"

Shisui huffed under his breath in amusement that vaguely sounded like he was comparing you to someone. You didn't bother making him repeat that, and instead addressed what needs to be done first.

"We need to get you to the hospital," You told him, already reaching for his hand, but he evaded your touch. Even when blind, he knew you were stretching your arm towards him.

"I-I can't," He hesitantly said, his fingers twitching. "I've been poisoned,"

Now that he mentioned it, you finally took notice of his paling color, heavy sweating, subtle shivering and labored breathing-- all basic symptoms of poisoning (or blood loss). You considered that maybe he's having trouble moving.

"I'll carry you," You decided, reaching out to hold support of him.

Shisui moved away when your fingertips barely grazed his arm. Your eyes narrowed, as you considered his peculiar behavior to insistently avoid receiving help. Testing a theory, you asked him.

"You can't, or you won't?" When he didn't answer, you frowned. "We need to report whoever did this to the Hokage,"

"Don't. Be wary of what anchors the great tree to the soil; you'll only end up as a target," Even without his eyes, you just know he's begging you with a pleading look.

"What the hell is going on?" You snarled. It was easier to feel and act on anger than confusion, fear, anxiety, grief--

(Why are you already grieving as if he's already--)

"Please don't tell Naruto," He said, his voice soft, before telling you, "I have to go."

(You know what he meant, but you don't want to say goodbye.)

"Yeah you do, and it's the damn hospital," You insisted vehemently; so, when you took a step towards him and he took a step back, your impatience was slowly turning into desperation. "We need to go now; you're poisoned and bleeding all over the place,"

And based on the way he's standing, he probably sported more injuries than he appeared.

"You will all be fine without me," He told you, but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself. "Itachi will take care of all of you."

"What?" You stared at Shisui incredulously, your brows furrowing and voice cracking. "Stop talking like that-- like you're about to... you're going to be okay. You'll be okay. We just need to go."

"I can't go with you,"

You tried steadying your pulse and breathing, reassuring yourself with the same words you told him-- everything is going to be okay.

Your breaths are fast and shallow in panic.

(Shisui can't end up like them.)

You thought about knocking him out, but you fear that it would only make him succumb to his injuries. You need him awake; you need him alive.

"Shisui, what's happening?" You asked him, fear evident in your wavering voice.

"Don't make me tell you," He evaded your question with a plea, and you caught sight of his position that you've seen many times before-- he's preparing to run.

"Why won't you tell me?" You asked demandingly. "I thought you trusted me,"

"Of course I trust you. It's just that I care about you more than I trust you," You were caught off-guard with how easily he said this. "I don't want you to be caught in between in case the plan fails, and well, here I am; a failure." He shrugged his shoulders with a wry grin, and you don't like seeing him act so casual about dying.

Impatient, worried, scared, you immediately grabbed his hand before he could move away from your touch.

"Damn it, Shisui, I can't help if you keep me in the dark like this!" You exclaimed, tightening your hold on his palm. "No more secrets!"

Shisui was quiet for a while, as you felt his fingers fiddling with yours, contemplating. He's considering something.

"No more secrets, huh?" He repeated with a small smile. "Hey, y'know that trick you do to read chakra? You can try it on me now,"

"Shisui--"

"I promise I won't run away if you indulge me,"

He promised; Shisui always kept his promises.

He promised to teach Naruto the henge technique; he promised Sasuke to not make fun of him for a week after losing a bet; he promised Itachi his time even when his schedule is busy; he promised he'll be with you until the end.

(And if he happens to die now, well, he didn't exactly specify what kind of end he was pertaining to.)

When you saw his feet no longer tense and digging into the dirt, you indulged him.

His hand within your hold glowed blue, and you instantly reciprocated with your own golden luminescence. Back then, Shisui vehemently refused to let you read his chakra for reasons you didn't know but respected, but now...

Now, you feel why.

(His chakra was telling you everything he couldn't put into words, and you've never felt so loved.)

How long has he felt this way about you?

When you remained silent, Shisui spoke up.

"When we discussed about a peaceful world, I imagined what my future would be like in a world where there's no war," He started, voice soft and hushed, as if telling a secret. "In all my imaginative scenarios, you were always there. Then, I realized that I'd want a peaceful future with you. That is, if only you would have me,"

It never crossed your mind that he would feel that way about you.

And it never crossed your mind how it would be like to feel that way about him.

You always prioritized others' futures, so you didn't pay much attention to your present. You never thought about your own future at all.

(You were too busy working; too busy finding ways to protect them; too busy grieving.)

With impulsive curiosity and blind abandon, you closed your eyes, took a deep breath, then cupped both his cheeks to guide him down and have his lips meet yours.

You felt the way his breath hitch at your unexpected move, the stuttering air tickling your nose. His natural aroma of ash and pine was tainted with a whiff of a metallic scent. His lips were dry and tasted of blood, but they were soft and warm and welcoming.

He kissed back.

For a moment, even when you know he's still here breathing, it felt like he was already dead.

(For a moment, even when he's only a few steps away from death's door, Shisui had never felt more alive.)

Surprisingly, it was Shisui who was first to pull away (even though he was the one who wanted this most), but you were the first to speak. Not letting go of his face, you wiped away the blood underneath his eyes with your thumbs.

Your eyes darkened when you realized there was a scratch mark underneath his right eye. Someone clawed his eye out.

"We could work," You told him because you actually can see your future with him if only he wouldn't leave.

(You don't love him. But maybe, you'll learn.)

"I'm glad." He smiled sadly, and you just knew he had no plans staying. Not even with you.

But it's not like you'd give up.

"I wasn't there when Toshiro died; when Obito died; when Rin died; when Minato and Kushina died," You said, and you felt his jaw tighten underneath your cupped palms at the mention of an old friend. "I wasn't able to save them because I wasn't even there to try, but I'm here. I'm here with you, and I can save you if you'd just let me,"

You let your hands slide down from his face, before letting them take hold of both his hands, as you bowed your head down and leaned on him.

"I'm really tired, Shisui."

(Always losing someone; always grieving over carved names; always failing when it really mattered. You're tired because that's all you've ever done.)

Shisui didn't need his eyes to know the look you're wearing right now. He doesn't like to think that he's the one responsible for it.

"Don't think that you can't save me," He tried to appease, his smile now more forced than usual. "Think of it as me saving you,"

"I don't want to be saved," You refuted, tightening the hold of your hands over his.

"What a dilemma," Shisui gave a dry chuckle that grated your ears. "I don't want to be saved either,"

"Shisui!" He shouldn't be blase about this.

(He's letting you stall him, Shisui knows this. He's not ready to say goodbye either.)

Shisui will miss his banters with you, even if the current dispute was a lot more morbid than usual. But he has to go.

If he stays any longer, he'll pass out and he wouldn't be able to resist you from bringing him to the hospital.

(He'll still die anyway.)

"I'm sorry that we... I had to end like this," He started, pulling his hands away from yours. "I know I messed up, and made this hurt more by confessing, but I... I really tried,"

He then wrapped you in a tight embrace, cradling the back of your head. You know he doesn't want to let go, but he eventually does.

"I do want to be with you; Kami, you have no idea," He laughed, and you were stupefied at how close he was to breaking his carefree facade with his wobbling lips and trembling voice. "But I can't be... I can't be selfish. Innocent people will die if..."

Shisui sighed, his shoulders now laxing, as if he came into peace with something.

"I hope you'll forgive me for the way I'll give you your last gift," He gently traced your left cheek with his hand, blindly guiding his thumb to your eye, before leaning down to kiss your eyelid.

You were stunned with how sure he was of his feelings for you.

(Despite him being one of the most un-Uchiha Uchiha you've ever met, Shisui was the most traditional*.)

He took a few steps back, as you watched with indecision from a couple of feet away.

"Just know, I do everything I do with always you in mind..." He gave you one last genuine smile, before pulling out something that glinted from his side--

"Sayonara!"

When you finally registered what he's about to do, you ran towards him, and immediately reached out for the kunai that was about to slit its wielder's neck.

"NO--"

(Predictably, you were too late.)

You managed to catch Shisui before he fell, quickly yet gently laying him on the ground, his neck-- Kami, there's too much blood-- now sporting an open wound that he will never survive from and he's drowning in his own blood even when you're trying to close the cut with unpracticed iryo-ninjutsu, your hands are coated with his blood and Shisuistoppedbreathing--

The forest was too quiet.

Hesitantly, you removed your hands from him, the flickering green of your unstable medical chakra disappearing.

You stared listlessly at your dead best friend with wide eyes, your breathing shallow and your hearing deaf to your surroundings other than your palpitating heart.

(He died a quick death. He bled out before he suffocated. He's smiling.)

Suddenly, you felt the familiar pulse of a seal activating, and you watched as Shisui's body started disintegrating. It didn't take long before you were left alone in the forest with only scattered white ashes to accompany you.

(Your mind provided a memory of a seal you discontinued a long time ago.)

It all happened too fast.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Inoutinoutinout--

(Your eyes are burning.)

You bit your lips to make them stop wobbling and you didn't know when you started crying, you just know the tears won't stop, even when you tried wiping them away with your blood-covered hands, smearing the red substance all over your cheeks which gave the illusion that you were crying blood because blood was now dripping down from your eyes to the ground--

Something pulsed behind your eyes, which forced you to black out.

The next morning, you woke up back at your apartment with no recollection of how you got there.

(But you remember Shisui's death with vivid clarity.)

...

You spent most of your day in your room, not bothering to change out of your bloodstained clothes or to eat breakfast nor lunch. You think your body walked on auto-pilot last night to clean off the blood from your hands and face, then bandaging your wounded hand before passing out. Still, how you ended up at home was the last thing in your mind.

You were too occupied thinking of ways on how to tell Sasuke, Itachi, and-- Kami-- Naruto of what you saw, what you witnessed. How the hell will you tell them?

("Please don't tell Naruto.")

How could you even face them?

Your eyes stung, but you no longer had any tears to shed. The only reason why you at least chose to get off your bed to eat was because Kakashi often checks up on you whenever he could.

Entering your kitchen, your peripherals caught something glinting from the dining table.

(You remember the glinting kunai.)

You turned your head to look at gleaming metal, only to spot a hitai-ate that you're sure you didn't own, as you're currently wearing yours along with your stained jounin vest. Inspecting it closely, the accessory was obviously old and used, and there was a folded paper underneath its weight.

You took the small note and opened it, your breath hitching at the rushed but familiar calligraphy.

'This way, we can serve the village together.

Sorry.

Forever yours, Shisui'

With numb feelings, you traced the kana of the last letter you'll ever receive from your best friend.

Huh, so that's where his hitai-ate was, you thought detachedly.

...

Shisui's death had spread like wildfire within the shinobi ranks since this morning, and it's barely been a day. The Uchiha are especially vocal about his passing.

Officially, his death was declared as suicide.

However, every shinobi who knew him suspected foul play.

What's suspicious was that only the Military Police Force gave effort to look into his case, while the ANBU and T&I department were held off from the investigation.

(You do not like the implications of that, especially that his death was within village grounds.)

Kakashi would undoubtedly fuss over you once he returns from his ANBU mission and hears about everything from the shinobi rumor mill. You don't want to deal with his fretting-- treating you as if you're a fragile porcelain that's waiting to break.

Despite your better judgement, you went and sat by the Naka cliff, even after what occurred on it last night.

You thought over your last conversation with Shisui, dissecting every word to see if you could piece together the reason why he... Shisui didn't want to be found; didn't want people to know he was attacked.

Be wary of what anchors the great tree to the soil; you'll only end up as a target.

What did that even mean? You, a target? It's not like you haven't been a target before, due to your position within the village. It wasn't anything new, and yet Shisui was so afraid for you, which meant whoever was responsible was a greater threat than those who made attempts at your life before.

What anchors the great tree to the soil?

Your eyebrows furrowed at the realization.

ROOT.

All that's known about ROOT is that it's an ANBU subdivision led by Shimura Danzo.

... That can't be right. He's an esteemed village elder; why would he do that to a fellow Konoha shinobi? What was the point?

You remember Shisui's scratched and missing eyes, and your confusion easily dissipated to resolved resentment.

Does it really matter what their reason was?

("Only use them for their intended purposes, okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry," He smiled reassuringly. "I will.")

("Uh, no, no, don't worry, I won't die like that!")

("No kunai can kill me.")

("Kinda busy next week, because I promised Naruto to teach him how to create smoke bombs.")

Shisui always kept his promises, because he doesn't make ones he can't keep.

In one night, Shisui broke many of them.

In one night, Shisui was forced to be a liar.

Whatever ROOT's justification was, nothing will abate your anger (hatred) for them.

It was all ROOT's fault.

(Something behind your eyes burned.)

Suddenly, you snapped out of your thoughts when you felt a familiar presence sit beside you. You were too distracted to sense him beforehand.

Itachi bowed his head and looked at the river below, his hands clasped together as he gave a shaky exhale. His eyes were curtained behind his bangs, unknowingly flashing red before returning back to its usual dark color.

Both of you wordlessly regarded the other, not daring to break the silence. Neither of you even looked at each other, and just let the rushing waterfall speak for the both of you.

You pondered if Itachi knew what Shisui's intentions were with his staged suicide. After all, the two of them kept you in the dark.

("Of course I trust you. It's just that I care about you more than I trust you.")

You don't know how to feel about that.

(Neither you nor Itachi knew that the other was present when Shisui claimed his own life. Itachi thought Shisui died from his fall. Itachi thought he was the last person Shisui was with before he died. Itachi thought you didn't know.)

You didn't expect Itachi to close the distance between the two of you to wrap his arms around your torso. He buried his head at the side of your neck collar, not giving you a chance to see even a hint of his well-hidden remorse and guilt.

Usually, you're the first to initiate physical contact with Itachi, as he was not used to it outside of spars and violence. Even with your constant conditioning, it took a while before it became a casual interaction between the two of you.

(Obito once taught you that there is no shame in showing physical affection. You had no qualms teaching the same to your friends.)

To have him initiate first was a good change, but you remained nonplussed and unmoving on your spot. Instead of hugging back, you opted to speak, finally breaking the monotonous white noise of nature.

"Please don't do what Shisui did."

Itachi only hugged you tighter as his wordless affirmation.

(It was years later when you eventually realized that it was a silent apology.)

Suicide, self-sacrifice, martyrdom-- you don't care what they call it, as it doesn't make much of a difference to you.

You just know that someone would just end up dead.

Sighing, you leaned towards Itachi, and tried to ignore the glaring absence of your group's third member.

(And then there were two.)

The next week, the Uchiha massacre occurred.

(From three to one.)

...

Itachi's betrayal was a shot to Konoha's early graduation system.

Gone mad, they had said. The pressure broke him.

All prodigies and early graduates were now given psyche reevaluations, with T&I's sights especially on you and Kakashi due to your histories.

(You remain silent about your thoughts regarding Itachi's defection.)

The Sandaime had then forbidden early graduation in peace times, to prevent another 'Itachi'.

Naturally, you didn't believe that Itachi had gone insane, just like how you didn't believe that he was responsible for Shisui's death. Like Shisui, something pushed him to do what he did.

(You should've seen the signs; that he needed help but didn't ask for it. Shisui's death was Itachi's last straw, and the illusion of a perfect, clear glass he made for himself was now fractured around the edges-- not necessarily broken but it's a close thing. Uneven, sharp and dangerous if touched without caution. Even still, you hold onto him-- not too tight to bleed suspicion amongst your peers and not too loose to let your treasured memories of him fall and shatter.)

But for now...

Bowing in a dogeza position in front of the Hokage, you begged the Sandaime to have Kakashi step down from ANBU. You offered yourself as his replacement.

It wasn't far-fetched that you'd now be active in protecting your remaining family.

However, you will not deny that your position in ANBU could give you insight about ROOT.

(The crows now follow you.)

You no longer work with Inu; instead, Kakashi now works with Kawauso.

(The tattoo on your shoulder burned.)

~*~*~

OMAKE: Shisui's POV

"You're the only one I can count on, my brother," Shisui smiled at Itachi's general direction, handing over his remaining eye. "Look after them for me."

Those were his last words before he fell, but not before he died.

...

The sky is blue; birds fly; and Shisui is a liar. It is common truth.

To be good at genjutsu, you have to be a good liar. And Uchiha Shisui is a genius illusionist-- a happy, smiling liar who he deceived most is himself.

(Maybe that's why his Mangekyou took the form of Kotoamatsukami.)

He would face his reflection and tell it: he is equally loyal to both Konoha and the clan, he moved on from Toshiro's death, and he is not afraid to die.

However, the truths are easily: he would choose Konoha over the clan in a heartbeat, not once did Toshiro leave his conscience, and he is fucking terrified of death.

The clan above all, the Uchiha elders taught him, but Shisui was already indoctrinated by his grandfather before he attended the academy. Konoha comes first, Kagami-ojiisan told him. Because the village is just as much as the Uchiha's home, as their comrades' and teammates'.

Shisui accepted the teachings with little thought, because not once did he think that the clan would go against the village. After all, the Uchiha are forever loyal to Konoha.

(The Hokage is not Konoha.)

Nara Toshiro died with a smile on his face, and it will forever haunt Shisui for as long as he lives. His sharingan made sure of that. Toshiro is a regret that will always stick by him, because he owes his memory that at least. As tribute, Shisui does not rely on his sharingan. To rely on his eyes is to insult the rest of his abilities. That's why he's known as Shunshin no Shisui, not as Sharingan no Shisui.

(He doesn't want to be known for the very thing that reminds him of his betrayal; of his failure for a good friend.)

...

"Just know, I do everything I do with always you in mind..." Shisui gave one last genuine smile, stomping down all hesitations from doing what needed to be done. "Sayonara!"

Sayonara, to Shisui, is not a goodbye forever.

It simply means he doesn't know when he'll see you again.

(By the riverbed, the red spider lilies bloom prettily under the moonlight.)

...

Shisui has to disappear.

If he were to continue living, the scale of the civil war would-- no, will escalate and rapidly approach. His eye was stolen by an influential village elder with a private army, which would have the Hyuuga join forces with the Uchiha out of paranoia and outrage.

Some would side with Danzo due to the accusations pointed at the Uchiha; some would side with the Uchiha due to the policies against bloodline theft; some would stay neutral but would end up in the crossfire.

The village will end up divided.

And other hidden villages will take advantage of that.

The civil war will destroy Konoha.

He doesn't want to die, but he has to.

Before he died, Shisui thought of the future he could have had.

He wanted--no, wants to be a shinobi as great as his dad and grandfather. To be remembered as a historical figure that would give pride to the clan, and not die as a footnote within history books. He wants to grow up to live up to his dream of peace.

He wants to have a chance to date you, maybe even marry. He wants to build a family-- a son. Earlier today he wasn't completely sure if he wanted children due to the elders pushing him to have one, but now he's sure he wants to have a son. His son's hair would be the same color as yours, while his eyes would resemble Shisui's. Shisui would then boast about it to you because his eyes were prettier with his longer eyelashes.

And now, a single kunai would ruin all those possibilities.

(He will lay down his life because he's a good shinobi.)

Uchiha Shisui has a purpose and that's to protect the village and serve the clan. But Shisui's purpose, his person's purpose... he had none.

But then...

"Fine. You can think you weren't a good friend to Toshiro. But you'll make up for your mistake, because from now on, you'll be the best friend to me."

But then...

"My name is Uchiha Itachi, and (Y/n) said you'd help tutor me."

But then...

"I don't like how you're trying to steal (Y/n)-nee away from Nii-san, but... I don't really hate you, y'know?"

But then...

"Your name is weird! It sounds like Sushi, 'ttebayo!"

Time and time again, he's been given new reasons to live for (reasons to die for).

Even if he's afraid to die, if it means all of them get to be safe, he won't hesitate to do it again if he has to.

(Even if it means he has to break the promises he made; even if it means he now has to lie to the people he loves.)

The sky is blue; birds fly; and Shisui is a liar. But...

The sky has more colors than just blue, not all species of birds fly, and Shisui isn't always a liar to himself.

There are absolute truths he could recite unhesitatingly and doubtlessly to his reflection.

Konoha is home to the people he loves most; he knows Toshiro would forgive him for what he did; he values his precious people's futures more than he fears his end.

And those truths would forever outweigh the lies he fabricated to himself.

~*~*~

BONUS OMAKE: Obito's POV

The seal within his heart burned in a way that was not caused by his non-existent disobedience, but by another seal connected to it a long time ago.

Obito remembered the seal he branded on his remaining family before the Kyuubi attack; an Uchiha-designed seal that disables the activation of the sharingan.

It was designed by Madara, himself, when Obito grovelled to his feet just to spare his precious imouto from what's to become of the Uchiha clan. They can't have the Tsukuyomi plan compromised by a sharingan user, hence the clan's necessary extinction. Obito was surprised when the ancient Uchiha conceded to his begging, with an emotion Obito couldn't quite read.

(If he didn't know any better, Obito would have thought that Madara sympathized with him.)

Uchiha eyes are naturally chakra conductive, but it's not the eyes that activate the sharingan; it's the special yin chakra the Uchiha produces. That's why outsiders cannot deactivate transplanted sharingan eyes. And Madara somehow created something to seal that special yin chakra away.

The only thing that could possibly make the seal falter was a sudden, powerful wave of special yin chakra that could only be gained through the activation of the Mangekyou sharingan.

With how the seal in his heart ached, Obito knew that the Suppression seal had been meddled with.

Either by his smart little sister discovering it, or through the activation of her Mangekyou.

He didn't know which he preferred.

...

The Kamui was convenient with his sudden departure and arrival, easily finding your signature through the seal, which meant it remained untouched but not necessarily untampered.

Obito found you passed out on the ground, your clothes, hands and face stained with blood, dirt and tears.

For a moment, he panicked and thought of you gravely injured, but was later relieved when he realized that no blood was pooling underneath you; the blood wasn't yours. You passing out was simply a side-effect of the overloaded seal connected to the back of your neck-- the location of the seal.

Spotting bits of scattered white ashes, he can have a few guesses of what possibly happened here.

Obito watched your labored breathing, noticing your eyebrows furrowing and your lips frowning. Seeing you so vulnerable like this already tugged his long-unused protective streak over you, having himself automatically move to make you comfortable.

(He wondered which one of your boys did you lose.)

Easily lifting you up bridal style, he observed your face no longer holding your youthful innocence. Your baby fat had long been gone since when he last saw you, and your eyes were lined with eyebags and stress lines that would have Rin throw a fit over your health.

It saddened him that you experienced the same thing he did when he saw Rin die. It further solidified his resolve.

Carrying you like this, Obito was reminded of an old memory of when he first held you as a baby. A promise to protect you with his life, and that you'll grow up happy and loved.

However, the more you're exposed to this Hell on Earth, the more the world is turning him into a liar.

It's true that he lied and deceived before. His alias of his deceased ancestor was enough proof of his continuous dishonesty, but the truth in his promise for his sister was something he held as sacred as his oath to bring back Rin.

One day, he'll get to keep his promise.

Just not today.

Today, he will only lay you down on your bed. Today, he will only wipe away the blood and tears from your hands and face. Today, he will only bandage your injured hand. Today, he will only cast a suggestive genjutsu that will not have you further question or investigate how you returned home.

Today, he will only leave you alone.

But one day, he will come back for you.

Obito decided from then on, you would be the first to experience the Infinite Tsukuyomi, and he would be the last.

His precious imouto would always come first.

...

(5 years later...)

Itachi was a threat to the entire operation, this, Obito knew. Especially now that the Uchiha prodigy is part of the Akatsuki organization.

Itachi didn't like nor trust him, and Obito can say that the feeling was mutual.

And when Obito found out that Itachi was involved with you, despite the fate he arranged for himself, well...

Obito felt utter loathing for the man who would bring you more grief in the future.

If the Akatsuki members noticed that Tobi was especially obnoxious and mischievous with the stoic Uchiha, no one said anything.

~*~*~

*I headcanon that the eye kiss is the most intimate kiss in the Uchiha clan mainly due to their dojutsu. The sharingan is often activated with trauma, so to kiss a clan member's eye is basically telling them that you love and accept every part of them, even when they're fractured or broken. The Uchiha love deeply, and it would only make sense for them to make up grandeur traditions like that. I also headcanon Shisui is traditional but not in an uptight way, if you guys get what i'm sayin.

Regarding MC's feelings, MC doesn't quickly fall for someone just because she knows them and that they have feelings for her. She needs to be used to the idea of loving someone, while also being able to see her future with them. She would eventually love someone if they're dating, but she wouldn't love someone before they're dating. You gotta cross boundaries with her first, before she would even acknowledge you lmao. She's complicated like that lol. Actually? You can just sum it all up by saying she's demiromantic.

BONUS:

Me (writing): I am going to create a backstory that is so tragic.

...

The story: "Something didn't feel right when you left the village for your solo mission."

Yall: Oh no.

...

Shisui: *has to die for the greater good*

MC: *appears*

Shisui: The lord is testing me--

...

MC: Let me see what you have!

Shisui: A KUNAI!

MC: NO--

...

Shisui: Let me get this fuckin straight, IM the OG Yinyang Duo and IM the OG friend killer. Kakashi is a fuckin bitch ass copycat for stealing both those iconic monikers from me and i--

...

Yahiko: *Has feelings for Konan and Nagato is his precious person with a dojutsu*

(This AU) Rin: *Has feelings for Obito and Kakashi is her precious person with a dojutsu*

Shisui: *Has feelings for MC and Itachi is his precious person with a dojutsu*

Yahiko, Rin, and Shisui: *Team Commit-suicide-in-front-of-our-precious-people-with-dojutsus-and-love-interests*

(Itachi: *heavy sweating, thinking of MC and Sasuke*)

...

(In the afterlife)

Itachi: *appears*

Shisui (who watched Itachi massacre the clan, fuck up his own brother, and fuck MC): ay yo what the fuck

...

Here it is, the Vigilante Arc's interlude to finally give yall context behind MC's trauma. This chapter is the very reason why I want Shisui to be a big part of MC's past lol I love Shisui so much it's unreal lmao. And now I've tricked most of you into caring for him sksksk

I CANT BELIEVE SHISUI HAS THREE DIFFERENT ITERATIONS OF HIS DEATH AND I DONT KNOW WHICH IS CANON ASFSHGDAKJS

Also, someone asked if it's necessary to read the omakes, and honestly? No, it's not. It's the interludes that's important. However, the omakes give context to some inside jokes and character dynamics, so I suggest reading them if you're up to it. While they don't have anything to do with the plot, they do have something to do with some of the characters' backstories and their upcoming reactions.

Fun fact: the interlude's title was supposed to be "Sacrifice" but im like, lets be poetic, so here we are lmao

I just realized a lot of emotional/important moments happened by the Naka cliff. You can literally tell a story by just drawing the characters' backs sitting on the cliff. Maybe I'll draw something like that lol