AU:×
Ship: LAMP
Prompt:×
Requested by:×
Tw:×
F/A/S: Flangst
POV: 3rd
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Songs:
Another Way Out- Hollywood Undead
Nicotine- Panic! At The Disco
Monster- Imagine Dragons
Take Me Or Leave Me- Rent
Bird With A Broken Wing- Owl City
Why Worry- Set It Off
Immortals- Fall Out Boy
American Idiot- Green Day
Faded- Alan Walker
Medicine- Hollywood Undead
Kill The Lights- Set It Off {And I had that on repeat the rest of the time}

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I haven't been giving Roman attention lately have I?
Let's fix that!
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NGL I thought this was gonna be really short but, I just sorta... Kept writing?
Whoops!
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roman agitatedly sighed, tossing his pen across the room. His room looked like a tornado had run through it, there were scraps of paper with hastily written ideas on it. Many of said papers were now torn up out of his own anger and frustration.

Post-it notes covered the wall his desk was against almost entirely. The bright neon colored slips of paper being completely different from what was written on them. Black ink smeared across them, writing looking almost illegible, and it most likely was illegible to the other sides, which is good... They don't need to know.

Roman stared at the notes, almost glaring as he remembered writing all of them down in a hurry, many of them were written after he had finished fully writing down some idea he had... Those ideas were now all torn up, discarded and on the floor.

He began reading them aloud to himself, trying to get the message through to himself.

"Be less cliche"

"Draw it out longer"

"Don't be predictable"

"Don't be stupid."

"Stop being predictable"

"That idea was too short"

"Get rid of it"

"Hurry up"

"They want more"

"If it's not perfect it's not good enough."

He had started to write these notes down as a way to keep himself in check and not give Thomas any horrid ideas, and it worked for about the first month. They were just positive little reminders

But now... They were so much worse...

They had changed from those positive reminders into full-on insults towards himself, nothing he hadn't heard before from the others or the fanders, but they still stung.

The ones on his mirror, however, were the absolute worst.

"Do something right for once!"

"Shut up."

"You don't need the spotlight"

"They despise you."

"You're an idiot."

"Play the part."

"Act like you feel better than you do."

"DON'T BREAK CHARACTER LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!"

"Don't let Patton know you're upset, ever."

"Don't let Virgil know how much you hate yourself."

"Don't let Logan know how much of an idiot you are"
"^ Too late."

"DO. NOT. LET. THOMAS. DOWN!"

He sighed as tears began to form at the corners of his eyes once again. He sniffles and reaches up to wipe his eyes, glancing back down at his hand and noticing the moisture from his eyes now on it.

"Pathetic..." He mumbled to himself the word sounding so normal, it easily rolled off his tongue, when just a few weeks ago, it was uncomfortable for him to say, now in his mind, it's just been accepted as truth.

Tears began to slip from his eyes as his mind dwelled on the insults that festered within him. "No.. Stop it..." He growled as he desperately tried to wipe them away. "I'm a prince, a prince should not be brought down by simple words..." He said, sounding more angered despite the phrase sounding at least slightly optimistic.

But he couldn't help it.

The mask he had on normally in front of the others was now fractured into pieces as he began to sob.

He picked the wrong time to break down however as he felt the pull of being summoned, most likely by Thomas since it was, 1. Not pulling at his hair. And 2. A lot more gentle, because Thomas sometimes treats them as if they're made of glass.

Roman took a deep breath and cleared his throat. Trying to choke down any sobs that were dying to be released, he wiped his eyes and faked a smile before letting himself be pulled up into the living room.

Big surprise, it was Thomas.

Roman played his part once again, acting as the arrogant, idiotic prince, as always. Thomas was trying to come up with an idea on his own, and well... They were all terrible, so Roman came to offer some of his own. Of course, none of the ideas he offered were the same as the ones discarded on the floor... They were all horrid, at least to him.

Their brainstorming session lasted the rest of the day, which, unbeknownst to Thomas, was honestly wearing on Roman who just wanted to go back to his room and breakdown, but he persevered and finally the two of them came up with an idea they were both proud of.

"Thanks, Roman." Thomas said smiling as he wrote the idea down as to not forget it. Roman smiled "You're welcome!!!" He sang as he sank down. That smile dropped the second he was in his room again. He was about to break again until he noticed his room's condition.

It was much cleaner, incredibly clean and organized. There was now a small trash can beside his desk which housed the many discarded pieces of paper... As well as the post-it notes that once covered his wall.

He looked over at his shelves that housed his extensive Disney movie collection, noticing that a new Tim Burton poster was on the wall beside it.

On his bed, he also noticed a few stuffed animals that he could've sworn were Patton's. A little lion, a tiger, and a bear. "Oh, my." He said letting a small laugh escape him.

He looked back over at his mirror, all but three of the Post-It notes had been removed.

"Don't let Patton know you're upset, ever."

That was scribbled over with light blue marker.
And new writing, bubble-like writing with the same marker had replaced it underneath.

"Nooo... You're supposed to come to me when you're upset, that's what I'm here for! :) please don't hold anything in."

Roman gave an honest smile as he set the Post-It down, he picked up the other one wincing slightly as he reread it.

"Don't let Virgil know how much you hate yourself."

Purple marker had crossed this one out, the writing underneath it was in the same color, and incredibly messy, but still legible.

"We all get self-deprecating every once in a while. You gotta come talk to me, or one of us... You're not perfect, and you don't have to be. Don't think you have to."

He sighed contently as he reached for the last note, reading it over again and letting the smile remain on his face as he did so.

"Don't let Logan know how much of an idiot you are"
"^ Too late."

Crossed out with a deep blue marker so it was hard to even make out the original text.
The writing below this one was neat and tidy, not fancy or anything, just the optimal way handwriting should be.

"Falsehood, you are by no means an idiot Roman. Sure, you do not know some of the things I do, but that also works vise-versa. You have knowledge just as much as I do, it's only a different type."

He looked at the mirror directly, somehow just now noticing the note card placed on it with tape. Written on it in black pen was

"We love you, Roman."

And each of his boyfriends had signed underneath it, in their own way, Patton's was all cute and bubbly, Logan's was very professional looking, and Virgil's was messy.

Roman smiled, of course, those thoughts he had would return, but for the time being, he was pleasantly distracted.

"I love you all as well..."