" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

"... ... You know, sometimes I really start to wonder..."

Eris: Power !

"Why do I keep trying to do stuff by myself, when I have literally everything at hand already, I could just stay behind, and send an army to take on the Demon King... So why am I here right now..."

Eris: Protection !

"... What are you doing ?"

Eris: Resist ! ... Its so you can return to battle the moment Senpai revives you !

"... Hold on, the plan was to call it off the moment someone dies. We'll retrieve the body and teleport out immediately. Aren't they getting ready to retreat ? Not even Kazuma ?"

Eris: What are you saying ? The battle has only just begun. Even as we speak, everyone is fighting with the Demon King... True, we are at a disadvantage, but... Ah ! Darkness's Decoy skill just ran out ! Mitsu... ? ...Rugi-san is surrounded by enemies ! ...Oh, good, Yunyun just blew them away with Tornado.

"Oh, so I guess Darkness did protect the rest from that blast... I'm the only one to blame for trying to take the front. None of them will stand down, heh ?"

Eris: No, they haven't given up yet. If anything, Yunyun-san is getting fired up by Megumin-san's encouragements. And Darkness is off saying disturbing things like 'I'll kill you' repeatedly... Now, it might seem a little harsh, but I'll have to send you back out there. This is the first time I've broken a rule because of my own selfishness rather than at Senpai's insistence, so I'm a little nervous, but...

"... It's not strength we're lacking. When it comes to power, we have what we need, but... Apart from Kazuma, none of us have the brains and competence to use it right... And looking back on everything ever since we came to this world... It has been nothing but trouble and hurdles, constantly knocking at our door... Just look at us. Our personalities took such a twisted turn that some people are even questioning if we are still humans anymore. Everyone around us causing trouble, making us risk our lives constantly..."

Eris: But it was fun, wasn't it ?

"... ... Can't deny that part. Compared to the absolute bore it was before..."

Eris: It'd be really sad for you to be the only one who retired while everyone else has yet to give up, wouldn't it ? So I'll make it such that you can jump right back into battle the moment Senpai brings you back.

"That is, if she even bothers. That idiot has been told countless times not to move forward no matter what happens or who dies out there. So all the buffs you're casting on me might be wasted this time."

Eris: Is that so ? Then, I'll continue. Haste !

"... Are all Goddesses that bad at listening to others ?"

Aqua: Hey. Hey, can you hear me ? We really are in a pinch, in more than one way ! Kazuma almost lost his head to the Grim Reaper thing, and Megumin has started chanting Explosion magic !

"... Can any of you guys listen to what other says for more than 4 seconds or is your attention span really that bad ?!"

Eris: But that part of Senpai is a little cute, isn't it ?

"... No, it's not. When I get back, I'm giving away all her secret stash of wine to the Eris church. How did she even manage to find the time to revive me in the midst of all this...

Eris: ... You're smiling, you know ? I'm sure it's because Darkness is still holding out against the Demon King and all his guards by herself. Fufu, even the Demon King and his personal guards are taken aback by Darkness's toughness. I really wish I could show you his dumbfounded expression.

"You say that, but I have no real plan... I have my cannon at the ready, but I need an opening to fire it, and even though, I'd rather not hit anyone else."

Eris: Then, I'll give you one piece of advice. Right now, Senpai is on the other side. It may be difficult for you to believe, but Senpai is still a powerful goddess. She's strong enough to be able to seal away the Demon King's abilities for a short period.

"... if she can do that, how come she never said a single word about it ?"

Eris: ... S- She must have forgotten about it...

"Of course she did... I guess I should come clean, I kinda lied when I said I have no plan. What about the rest of the army ?"

Eris: Currently, the Capital and the town of Axel are under attack by the Demon King's army. In Axel, the adventurers that you've laughed, fought, and drunk together with are battling against a small detachment of the Demon King's army, while at the capital, the Royal Knights led by the King himself, the adventurers from Japan, and the elite forces of the Crimson Demons are engaged in fierce combat against the bulk of the Demon King's army, with quite the support from a sea of bones, may I add.

"That was the goal."

Eris: And the brave young maiden who looks up to you as her brother, the chosen of the divine relic Aigis, is currently about to engage the Demon King's daughter in a decisive battle with the support of a certain Axis cultist and Megumin's Crimson Demon friends.

"... i'm more concerned about Iris and Aigis meeting up or the latter letting her wear him..."

Eris: It's a law of this world that, when a Demon King is crowned, the monsters of the world will slowly become stronger. Conversely, when the Demon King is vanquished, the monsters will gradually grow weaker... You understand what I'm trying to say, right ?

"... Even Iris is giving it her all to make the most out of this one-in-a-lifetime opportunity; What kind of man would I be if I didn't do the same, and made sure to come back to tell her the story ?"

Eris: Before you go back into the world, Second Assistant, let me give you one final parting gift.

Eris: When it comes to this spell, I'm confident I won't lose out to anyone ! In the name of the Goddess of Fortune, I grant you the greatest of blessings ! Blessing !

Aqua: Aaaaaahh ! Please, hurry up and come over ! Hurry up !

"... You guys are so fucking helpless !!"

Eris: Now, go forth... And Defeat the Demon King !

Darkness: Megumin, I don't care, go ahead and kill them all ! I'll protect all of you with my body ! I've already proven that It takes more than a single Explosion to kill me !

Megumin: Very well, let us greet death together ! And even if Darkness couldn't protect me, after firing off so many Explosions in one day and trading lives with the Demon King at the very end, I can die with no regrets ! It's an honor to die with you all !

Yunyun: Wait, stop, Megumin, wait ! Don't blow up Darkness-san !

"... ... is that really what i'm greeted by once I get back, more problems you guys cause, are you for real ?"

Guards: Your majesty, get behind us !

Knight: Hey, Crimson demon ! If you cast Explosion here, you yourselves will be caught in the blast ! Do you understand what you're doing ?!

"... Yunyun, Kazuma, you two make preparations to teleport everyone but me out of there, go to the outside of the castle if you can."

Kazuma: ... tell me you don't plan on taking him on yourself after literally dying in the cutscene ?

"Kazuma, Kazuma, Kazuma. When we first got here, I think I told you, Even if I wasn't the biggest player, I did have my share of RPG games, right ? But I seem to recall, I never got to tell you what kind of player I was in these."

Kazuma: ... The implication being... ?

Guard: Gh... I admire your abnegation, but after dying so easily, do you think you can take it on your own ?!

Aqua: hey, be careful, if this hit, you'll be turned into mulch ! Even the great me won't be able to resurrect you from that !

Guard: DIE !!

"I've always been... The hoarder type. Activate !!"

*ZBONK*

Guard: ... H- Huh... ? H- Hey, you... L- let go ! Let go of my sword !

"Oh, you want that piece of metal back ? I guess you must really treasure it. Don't worry, I'll make sure to hold it nice and tight."

*SCHKLING*

"Oops. I guess that was a bit too tight, huh ?"

Guard: H- haaaah...

"That's the thing, when you have a way to make about anything that would sell, at some point you start making things that are more suited for direct battle. And with just a little luck, it won't turn out to be a dud at the crucial time. Class-changing, series, Crusader Artifact !"

Knight: BUGAH !!

King: ... An artifact... To change classes ?!

"... Ahh, crap, looks like it still only works for a couple of seconds..."

Kazuma: ... H- hey, when and how ?

"Our good friend who keeps going 'Muhahahaha' of course, who else. Feed it the data of someone from a different class, and you can gain their skills and stats for a bit !"

Darkness: ... I- is that why you've been starting to clean up after us recently ?! I was wondering where my hair brush went missing to !

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

Megumin: Don't try sounding so cool after admitting doing something so underhanded ! You've been going through our stuff just for that ! Pervert !

"I'm trying to save the God-damn world here ! You know what, fuck that. Archpriest Artifact !"

Aqua: Huh ?! Aaaahhh ! You dirty copycat ! Kazuma learning heal wasn't enough, you even have to copy me, the great Goddess Aqua ?! Is there no depths you won't fling yourself into, you sociopath ?!

King: ... Hold on, Goddess ? That disgusting light that descended upon this world some time ago, was it really that idiot-looking woman ?! And that blue hair...

"If you lack the competence to properly use your own powers, don't be surprised that I need to do it myself. Sanctuary, SACRED HIGH EXORCISM !!"

Knights: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH !!

"*Cough cough* Hey, why didn't anyone tell me just how much dust that would make !"

King: Rrrrrrrrrgh... You... Insufferable... Little... !!

"Hold that for a second."

*POP*

Kazuma: ... Well I guess my plan to teleport away with the Demon King just got upped...

King: H- Huh ?! What... Where... How... I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS !!

"Hmm, that was the first place I could really think of... It'll do just nicely. You can even see what's left of Beldia's castle in the distance."

King: Hold on, is that... The neighboring of the town of beginners, Axel ?! Why did you bring me all the way here ?

"To be fair, that was just me thinking in panic that I needed you to get away from any other monsters. And these lands have long since been cleaned of any dangerous monsters. That's why new adventurers have to resort to part-time construction work, after all. And speaking of. Archwizard Artifact."

King: A contest of magic ? Very well, I'll fight you on these terms.

https://youtu.be/6_knwBYb8Wo

"Don't sound so confident. I told you, the skills and spells I get depends on what the model possesses. And our party's Archwizard has an undying love for a certain spell. So let's have fun !"

King: ... That crimson Demon... ? H- Hold on, wasn't the one spell she was threatening to cast... ?!

"Darkness darker than dark, and Blacker than Black..."

King: H- hey, don't joke with that ! To begin with, I'm way past my prime, and my main skill is to strengthen other monsters, not fight on the Front lines !!

"Let the storm blow ! Let the flames roar ! This is the ultimate magic, that makes even the impossible possible, truly the stuff of dreams !!"

King: Stop that !! Let's talk, okay ?! i'm sure we can talk !!

"... My name is Y/n ! Foremost and greatest adventurer that ever set foot on this world ! Heed it well, as I send you to the afterlife ! EXPLOSION !!"