"865291 - Tyler farm. Luke speaking."

"Can you spare a minute, Mate?"

"Sure thing, what's up, Dunc?"

"Anyone else in the kitchen with you? Just, I know the mornings get busy in there. Your poor mum feeding up all you carrot crunchers for the day. And why the hell do you have to answer the phone like such a ponce?"

"Ha ha."

"Look, I suppose I just wanted to see, you know , if we were, you know."

"No, Dunc, you lost me. If we were what?"

Sigh "To see if we were still friends."

"Oh."

"Well?"

"I don't think there's anything to say, Dunc. You made it pretty clear what you intend to do. Doesn't mean that we have to fall out over it."

"Ah, well, that's good then. You still feeling the same about Loopy?"

"I'd rather not talk about that, do you still intend to get her to sell the farm?"

"That's hardly fair, big fella. I only gave her another option. Do you honestly think you've got a chance with her?"

Silence

"It's about time she moved on with her life, do you really want to hold her back, Luke? How can you be so flippin' selfish?"

"You're one to talk. The farm's her life, and she does want to keep that part of her life, believe it or not. Have you spoken to her since she heard about her boss?"

"Yes. She stayed over last night."

"Oh?"

"Nothing happened, Mate."

"Not from lack of trying I bet!"

"Give over you git. She wasn't in the right frame of mind. Besides -"

"Besides what?"

"I kind of acted like a prize twat."

"Oh, well that'll make a change. What did you do this time?"

"You don't want to know, Blondie. Let's just say that I wasn't in the right frame of mind either. And that apron you got me at Christmas itches like a bastard."

"Good grief. Okay, yes, spare me the details. So, did she say anything?"

"About what? Oh, yeah, if you mean that weird shit about the dead dragon lady then yeah! That was a real Loopy special."

"You shouldn't talk about her like that."

"Who put you in charge? Is that what you were talking about? The dead lady's blood?"

Pause "Yes. Yes, that's what I meant."

"Listen, did she tell you about Friday?"

"No. What is it?"

"Well, it's a day of the week, Buddy, the one before Saturday - but that's not important right now."

"Get on with it, Dunc."

"Sorry, couldn't resist a bit of Leslie Neilson humour! Anyway, Friday morning Sarah's got the dragon's funeral and she said she wants me to go with her."

"So?"

"So. It's a long story but I don't think it's a good idea for me and her to be going off to King's Lynn together for a funeral."

"Why on earth not? I've got to work, boss said he'd give me a warning if I didn't watch out. I had to call in sick yesterday morning. Why can't you go with her?"

Silence

"Dunc, is there something you're not telling me?"

Pause "No. Nah, 'course not mate. I guess I was worried about crying my eyes out and looking like a complete pussy. But don't worry, I'll grin and bear it."

"As long as there's no bare of any other sort involved I'm sure it'll be fine. Now if that's all you had to say, can you let me get my arse to work, before they have another excuse to get rid of me?"

"Okay. Thanks, Mate. And don't worry. I'll be the perfect gentleman."

"And hell will freeze over. Yes, I know. Bye."

"Bye."

******

It was Thursday afternoon, getting on for half past five, when Duncan's work was interrupted.

Bang, bang bang!

"What the bloody hell?" He dropped his papers and went to the door. Someone must have left the main one open downstairs. Flipping typical. Now he'd have to deal with salesmen or the religious or even - worse case scenario - politicians.

Bang, bang, bang!

"Yeah, yeah. Hold your flippin' horses."

Duncan swung back the door and was confronted by the red, grimacing face of Luke.

"Shit, Mate!" Duncan ran his hand through his hair. "Thought you were someone dodgy. What's all the banging for?"

Luke glared at him. His nostrils flaring. "You'd better let me in."

Not feeling too sure that this was such a good idea, Duncan stood back and let him come through. They went into the living room and took up their familiar positions. Duncan by the kitchen counter and Luke in front of the sofa.

"So," Duncan hardly dared to ask. "What's eating you?"

Luke was fiddling with his hands. Something Duncan recognised as a sign of him controlling his temper. He looked like he was fit to burst when he spoke.

"What the fuck, Dunc?"

Duncan took a physical step back to match the mental one he made.
"Hey?"

Luke continued to stare at him. His broad shoulders set square and ridged.

"You fucking arsehole. Why did you do that?"

"Do what?" Duncan's response was automatic but he could take a guess as to the reason behind Luke's behaviour. "It was just a joke you prat. I thought the 'Naked Chef' stuff would give her a laugh."

He was lying of course, but he couldn't see another way of diffusing the big, blonde time bomb in front of him.

It obviously wasn't what Luke was looking for, from the way his friend's eyes were boring into his.

"No. I mean the funeral. The fucking funeral!"

Oh shit. That old chestnut. How had he found out about that?

"Sarah told me."

Never mind. But, hang on a minute, why was he so mad at him for that? Duncan matched Luke's glare and walked closer to him. They were barely an arms length away from each other now. Duncan could smell his aftershave. Fucking Lynx body spray. He also caught a whiff of something else. The same scent as Sarah. Lavender.

He tilted his head to the left and regarded Luke's expression closer. Yes, he was angry, but there was another reason for his reaction to the news. Duncan was becoming more and more certain of it.

"Water under the bridge, Mate. What's it to you?"

A sharp glint of light in Luke's eyes and a brief softening of his hard set face gave him away. The bastard!

"How could you take advantage of her? For God's sake man. At her best friend's fucking funeral? What the hell were you thinking?"

Duncan knew it was best to let Luke get it out of his system verbally. To leave him to harbour his anger inside, or worse placate him with lip service would only lead to violence. He'd seen it only once or twice, but he knew it was there. He stayed quiet while Luke raged on.

"Fuck's sake. Is that why you wanted me to take her tomorrow? So you didn't get the urge to try and shag her again, you rotten bastard?"

This line of discourse continued for the next ten minutes. All the while, Luke was no nearer to calming down and Duncan was becoming more and more convinced that what he suspected was true. Eventually, Duncan couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Just shut up, you git!"

Luke paused in his attack, breathing heavily, red in the face.

"I don't know why you're acting so bloody high and mighty about it? It's not as if you fucked Clara in the hay barn or anything is it?"

Luke was opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish. But Duncan wasn't about to let him off the hook.

"That's right, Farmboy. I know all about your fumble in the summer with my fucking girlfriend! Did you really think you meant so much to her? Of course she fucking told me."

Luke was still gulping air. He looked like he was going to try and say something to smooth it over. Duncan cut him off.

"You needn't think you made an impact on her. Hate to say it but the real reason why I had old Loopy that day was that it was the perfect timing for payback. You were nuts about her, and I was crazy about Clara. Tit for tat, Mate. Tit for tat."

Luke launched himself over at Duncan, but he managed to outmaneuver him and dash behind the counter. He held his arms out in front of him, warning Luke to stay away.

"Like I said before. Water under the bridge."

Duncan's voice had taken on a sad undertone. He felt drained of energy. He pulled out a stool and sat himself down, laying his arms flat on the cool surface. He didn't look up at Luke. He knew he was still angry, but he knew the danger had passed. And what was the point anyway? It was obvious that Luke had already won. From the way Luke jumped to her defense over a stupid mistake, and the way his eyes sparkled when he said her name. He'd seen that look on his friend before. Duncan just knew that he and Sarah were doing it.

Luke took a moment before pulling out a stool opposite his friend. He slouched down on the seat and pushed his hands in his thick, long hair.

"Alright. Let's stop blaming each other. But you've got to promise me that you're not going to put the moves on her tomorrow."

"Do you want to tell me the real reason why you're so bloody anxious for that not to happen?" Duncan fixed his eyes on Luke. Waiting for the truth to come through. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Luke seemed calmer and even a bit ashamed of himself. He matched Duncan's gaze, his face muscles beginning to loosen up. There it was. That's what Duncan had been waiting for.

"She doesn't want me to talk about it."

"And how's that working out for you then? 'Cause it looks to me like you have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

Luke sighed heavily and leaned back, stretching his neck. He half smiled at Duncan, his eyes betraying his doubts.

"If I can't talk to you about it, who else is going to help me make sense of it?"

Duncan shrugged his shoulders. Did he really have to put up with this? Not only had Luke got Sarah, but now he'd have to listen to all the details? Still, as much as he was upset by the thought of the two of them together, the thought of losing Luke's friendship was too much to take.

"Listen, Mate," he began, tapping his fingers on the counter top while he spoke. "If she's chosen you then what am I supposed to do about it? Do you honestly think I'd try and steal her away? When I know how much she means to you?"

Luke's shoulders relaxed and he stroked his beard absent-mindedly.
"I suppose not."

"Well, if I have to hear it, get on with it, you wimp."

Luke laughed. The atmosphere in the room had gone from desperate to comfortable in the space of a few minutes. Duncan knew it was all due to his own efforts to let go. Let go of Sarah.

Feeling the need for Dutch courage, Duncan stood and turned toward the fridge. "Nah. Hang on a sec, before you get stuck into the nitty-gritty, let me get us a couple of beers. That way I can pretend to listen while I get pissed."

"On a Thursday?"

"You know, desperate times and all that."

Duncan slid a bottle along the counter for Luke and sat back down with his. The two friends unscrewed the drinks.

Duncan held his bottle out for Luke to clink with his.

"To the victor the spoils." He waited while Luke looked at him closely, was he trying to see if Duncan really meant it? Luke must have believed him as he clanked his beer against Duncan's and smiled.

"And do me a favour please, Farmboy?"

Fully settled now, Luke started to grin, he'd probably guessed what was coming.

"For fuck's sake don't tell me what you two get up to in the bedroom and," Here he paused for dramatic effect, lovingly caressing his beer. "Make sure you give her one for me."

Laughing his head off, Luke's beer frothed over the bottle top and all over his trousers. "You tosser!" he joked, wiping away the beer with his hand. "Now look what you made me do."

Duncan grinned back, enjoying the return of normality to this strange situation. "Hope that's not a sign of things to come, Buddy."

The evening passed pleasantly. Each glad to be back on track with their friendship. The fact that Duncan was still secretly wishing that things would go wrong with Sarah and Luke, was not something that came to light. There was still time for Duncan to work on that.