pov of DIANA

warning: violence ahead.

I reached home at 10 in the night. I avoid going home as much as I can. I hate it there. Allen is always at home given that he had no job for half a year now.

I hate the smell of alcohol. I hate it when he blames me for petty things. I hate it when I get a blow on my face hard enough to hurt but not enough to leave a mark. I loved him so much. 

I still love him. But sometimes love isn't enough. All those stories that tell you love is this- love is that is complete bullshit.

Yeah, love is nice when it is reciprocated, being loved and giving the love you have is amazing. But selfish love. Not good. 

I climbed the stairs of my apartment and stood in front of my apartment door. I was dreading going home. I stood there.

Breathe Breathe Breathe.

It's sometimes nice to not know what the future holds. But I know exactly what will happen as soon as I will enter the apartment. He will ask me who I did tonight and slap me hard. I never once slept with anyone other than Allen after our marriage. But he........

I sighed. I opened the lock cautiously followed by the door and tried not to make any sound. 

Creakkkk. I winced.

Fucking fuck the door always betrays me and makes this hideous creaking sound. Just as the door opened I saw Allen in the kitchen making a drink and watching me. He saw me. Shit.

He raised his fingers and gestured for me to come closer. I did not move a single step. Then he did something he hasn't done in a while. 

He smiles. 

 I smile back. Then again repeats the gesture. I think he is in a good mood today. I made my way to the kitchen and just as I was about to enter he grabbed my hair hard. I flinched.

He kissed me and bit my lower lip hard. I winced. He was smelling like alcohol. I tasted my own blood. My breath became shallow. And my eyes stung. Then he broke the kiss. Maybe he doesn't like the taste of blood that he caused.

He then tore my jersey and started nipping my neck. He unhooked my bra and threw it on the floor and grabbed my breasts roughly. He started nipping on my left boob and took my nipple in his mouth and sucked and bite. He bit it hard. 

He bit it too hard. 

I pushed him and saw blood again. Blood from my nipple. I was shocked. I raised my eyes to meet his. He was glowering at me. Then he did what I was dreadful of he raised his hand and slapped me hard on my face. I tried to slap him back.

But he stopped my hands and lowered his head and whispered in my ears, "You can't run from me, you know that. If I find you going anywhere except work I will make sure to bruise your face."

I pushed him hard this time. I ran to the bedroom and locked the door. 

I went to the shower to clean the blood and attempted to not cry.

I Am A Strong Woman I Will Not Cry. I Am A Strong Woman I Will Not Cry. I Am A Strong Woman I Will Not Cry.

I kept chanting it until I fell asleep in the night.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up this morning with a beautiful dream of my life with Allen before we were married. I like to sleep as all my dreams are beautiful.

I was anticipating nightmares from the incidents with Allen but all my dream are like a temporary refuge from reality. Usually, in the mornings Allen is passed out (for good actually.)

Today, I have an interview at CRT diamonds for the position of secretary. Yeah, I have already given up hope of working as an engineer. Secretary has a better salary than waitressing so why not try it out? I read the requirements. 

Accompanying boss to meetings. 

Taking dictations.

 Making coffee well I have a lot of experience in that.

Arranging files.

And three four more simple tasks.

I got ready and reached the office where the interview was taking place. The company is a lot bigger than any company I have seen.

The walls are white. There is a library in the corner and a board on it that has 'NOT ALLOWED' written in big bold letters. There are plants on all the tables.

The cabins are separated by glass. There are lots of people moving around in a hurry. Everyone was doing something. Some were on a call. Some were typing stuff on their computer.

 This time I am not nervous since I am not expecting to get this job. There are only 3 other candidates. I guess others already have given the interview. Whatever.

"Diana Jordan," the receptionist said.

I made my way through the blue-tinted glass door and knocked. I saw a lady sitting across the table smiling at me. I smiled back. She was forty-ish. She was wearing a pink shirt and black pants.

"Good morning Ma'am I am Diana Jordan. I graduated from Thomas university Two weeks ago." I said without trembling and handed over my file to her.

"Good morning Diana, I am Richa Bose. You can call me Mrs. Bose if you like," she said while taking my file.

She asked some questions for ten minutes after which I left.

After half an hour all the interviews were done. The receptionist came to announce the person who got the job.

"Diana Jordan! Congratulations you got the job."

I gasped. My eyes widened. I am so happy. I feel like flying. 

"Thank you so much" I was barely audible. She smiled at me and gave me the appointment letter. I made a sound like squeaking. She chuckled.

I took the letter and left for the cafe to meet Addy in person and tell him the good news.