Here comes the results of Short Story reviewed by the one and only awesome devianmisfit

Mine to Cherish by meena_445

Cover: 6 points
Simple and minimalistic.

Title and Blurb: 5 points
The title and the story plot hints on romance, but the blurb does not show. Maybe write more about your story in the blurb so that readers know more. I would suggest changing the word "oneshots" because your story chapters are linked and not stand alone.

Plot: 6 points
I have quite a hard time understanding the plot because some of the conversations are in Malay and the sentence structure or errors made it even harder. I suggest proofreading your book and editing, as well as provide translations for the terms.

Protagonist: 3 points
There is not a lot of character development except for the main male lead.

Antagonist: 5 points
The male lead is clearly the female lead's antagonist until the last few chapters. The commendable part is how you made him realise his mistakes and learn to love.

Supporting character: 4 marks
The supporting characters are well-thought of beforehand because of a backstory.

Anticipation: 4 points
You've successfully employed cliffhangers at the end of every chapter to make readers want to read on. However, for my case I wanted to read on because I couldn't understand your story. So I guess that's a plus point.

Plot Development: 5 points
The plot development is not bad. However, your story needs to go in depth to show the feelings and thoughts of the female and male lead. Another plus point is that you have a backstory, however sometimes more details are needed but are lacking at the parts.

Enjoyment: 6 points
Overall, I enjoyed reading your book. However, I would like to highlight the point that your story has too much rose-tinted gloss over. Rape in other words is still a breach of modesty. Without consent and even with the words of marriage it is still as it is. Theoretically speaking, the female lead would instinctively know and the hurt she experienced does not make her fall in love.

Grammar and punctuation errors: 6 points
Quite many grammar errors, especially sentence structure and spelling errors. For the conversations in malay I am not sure if they are structurally correct but some paragraphs written in english there are a few missing words.

E.g. Eezad turned and saw Soniya as he saw the man he wanted to see last on the face of the Earth.

I think it should be:
Eezad turned and saw Soniya, as she stared back at him. He was the last face she wanted to see on Earth.

Follow & Rules: 10 points
You did not follow your judge! I have no choice but to minus ten marks here dear.

Total: 60/100

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Recognition by thejadelover

Cover: 6 points
The cover doesn't tell me right away that your book is about Aladdin but it is pretty. I would suggest maybe changing your cover to suit the plot and telling readers that it is a Aladdin fanfic.

Title and Blurb: 4 points
The title doesn't really relate to the plot because it is about Aladdin being wronged rather than being recognised. Blurb is too short but it piqued my curiosity. I would suggest adding more details in the blurb instead of just saying what happens after Aladdin is buried in the wall.

Plot: 5 points
The plot is slightly interesting. However, the struggles of Yasmine feelings were not expressed well enough. I suggest venturing into her feelings and her emotions. Overall, your plot is a little messy and contradicting. Without a clear backstory, (it doesn't have to be long), I find it confusing that Yasmine trusts Aladdin and also loves Zafar (since they are both enemies). And also the part about how Aladdin's dead father can interfere into the living world.

Protagonist: 3 points
It is difficult to give points in this case since you only have one chapter and a short one too. I would say to put in more details.

Antagonist: 3 points
Like I said it is difficult to give points but I am seeing Aladdin as the antagonist since in the book there are no other main characters and Yasmine believes him to be her enemy.

Supporting character: 3 points
The supporting characters only appear very briefly. So this is another hard one.

Anticipation: 3 points
Because this is a short story I think it is harder to build anticipation so I awarded the points based on what I read in your blurb and then transiting to the first chapter of the book. And also how after the first chapter it would make me want to find out what happened next.

Plot Development: 5 points
A little too fast paced and too little character development. Maybe you might want to write a few chapters instead of just one.

Enjoyment: 6 points
Please break up the long paragraphs into smaller ones as it will make it easier to read. Your entire chapter is all written in one paragraph which is honestly difficult for me to read. I think you have some misconceptions of the word "buried". It should be trapped in a wall because to bury a person would be to completely cover him and he wouldn't be able to breathe, much less remain alive after a few minutes.

Grammar and punctuation errors: 6 points
Several grammatical errors and spelling errors. Otherwise fine. Please take note of your understanding of the words used.

Follow & Rules: 20 points

TOTAL: 64/100

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For Runner-Up
We have...
Drumrolls

End of the Tunnel by HaniaAdil12

Cover: 7 points
Nice cover. Definitely fits the title.

Title and Blurb: 6 points
Clearly written and explicitly stated.

Plot: 6 points
They are mostly scenes that happen in real life and one shots so there is not much of a plot. But you've captured the struggles of daily lives really well.

Protagonist: 4 points
They are written in the writer's perspective and the feelings of hurt and sadness feel personal. I can relate and experience the pain from a more intimate stand point.

Antagonist: 3 points
There is no clear antagonist shown, however the protagonist is written to have faced many demeaning and difficult real life situations.

Supporting character: 3 points
This is another tough one! But here and there, there are a few supporting characters or should I say the protagonist's family members appearing. I like how you place some of them in a good light and others being judgemental because it clearly shows that no one is perfect.

Anticipation: 3 points
As there isn't really a story plot, I feel this is an unfair representation for the anticipation of your book.

Plot Development: 6 points
In each one shot, the progression of the story is great. I like how it is short and sweet.

Enjoyment: 7 points
Your story is neither fantasy nor romance, definitely shouldn't be read with rose-tinted glasses. But I enjoyed it because it reflects a certain perspective of the real world and how we as humans struggle internally.

Grammar and punctuation errors: 7 points
Several punctuation errors like missing apostrophes and grammar errors. But not large enough to affect the story as a whole.

Follow & Rules: 20

Total: 72/100

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For Third Place
We have...
Drumrolls

Breaking Societal Norms by Psr1403

Cover: 4 points
It is unique but I feel it could be improved on. Good effort though! I would suggest changing the picture to focus on one couple.

Title and Blurb: 5 points
Blurb is a little too short and ambiguous. Don't be afraid to give more details because as long as you don't give all of it, you won't exactly spoil the story. The title is fine.

Plot: 9 points

Protagonist: 4 points
The story mainly shows the conversations between the characters and there is not much of growth in characters. So it is hard to give points. However, the characters shown have depth.

Antagonist: 3 points
There is no clear mention of an antagonist.

Supporting character: 3 points

Anticipation: 4 points

Plot Development: 7 points
Your story has a nice pacing.

Enjoyment: 8 points

Grammar and punctuation errors: 6 points
Some tense and spelling errors in the english paragraphs like missing words but not a lot to affect the overall story.

Follow & Rules: 20 points

Total: 73/100

The conversations in Hindi are read by another judge because I couldn't understand. However, I feel that your story has a lot of empowerment and it encourages readers about being open-minded and accepting.

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For Second Place
We have...
Drumrolls

The Princess and The Princess by Bunnybeebooo

Cover: 7 points
A very pretty cover of two princesses. Purple gives an air of mystery.

Title and Blurb: 7 points
Title definitely relates to the story plot and the blurb is well written. I can understand how the story will go just from the blurb, yet it makes me want to find out by reading. Great job!

Plot: 8 marks
Great plot. You keep mentioning it as a cliche story but I beg to differ aha. Maybe I don't venture into LGBT so I don't find it cliche.

Protagonist: 5 points
I like how you make Leonara's sadness but decision to leave heart rendering.

Antagonist: 5 points
The parents' disdain for Leonara is clearly shown at the right times.

Supporting character: 5 points
Her brother is my favourite character in the book!

Anticipation: 5 points
Great anticipation. Initially the story started off slightly rocky when you transmitted to Valia's. I would suggest making it smoother.

Plot Development: 9 points
The plot is definitely detailed enough and has very good development. There is sufficient character growth from Valia as well as from Leonara as she decides to lock herself up.

Enjoyment: 9 points
I enjoyed reading this tremendously.

Grammar and punctuation errors: 8 points
Maybe some small grammatical errors and sentence structure flow but not obvious enough to call for attention.

Follow & Rules: 20 points

Total: 88/100

Some pointers: This is just an extra thing I decided to write since I really liked your book and I genuinely wish to help you improve. In your story both princesses have grown pretty close, I feel that at some point of time, Valia would choose to call Leonara by her name rather than calling her princess. Because both are princesses, it makes more sense for them to call each other less formally. Some paragraphs can be smoother, especially the starting few. Overall, great job! I love how you made both of them come to life.

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For the First Place
We have...
Drumrolls

Hope - Dramione by mann101978

Cover: 6 points
Great cover. I like how you try to put Draco in despair and Hermione vibrant.

Title and Blurb: 6 points
The blurb is a little ambiguous as you only referred to them as "she" and "he", but I can clearly tell about the depth of love involved.

Plot: 10 points
Hilarious and interesting. The second paragraph and you got me hooked lol. The ending is sweet and I like the glimpse of life after marriage.

Protagonist: 5 points
I really liked how you make their conversations sound like them. I can totally imagine their voices in my head.

Antagonist: 5 points
There isn't a clear antagonist but the way you wrote made Draco his own antagonist, which makes your story rise by another notch.

Supporting character: 5 points
I love how you capture the personalities of other characters like Hagrid, Crabbe and Mcgonagall.

Anticipation: 5 points
I wanted to read on and on.

Plot Development: 10 points
Great plot development. I like how for every year you highlight only a certain happening and how the characters developed with every encounter.

Enjoyment: 10 points
I am a Harry Potter fan, so I enjoyed reading it. Just that I don't really ship Draco and Hermione, but your story is really good.

Grammar and punctuation errors: 9 points
Great grammar and punctuation. There are some missing words and spelling errors but really minor ones.

Follow & Rules: 20 points

Total: 91/100

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Congratulations to all winners of the Short Story Category! Hope I have done justice to your books! Those who did not win, don't lose hope because to have written and published in wattpad is already a great accomplishment! Keep writing and don't give up! ❤️

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- from devianmisfit

Xoxo
The Savant Girls ⚡️❤️⚡️