July 3, 2019

It's been around a week since we came back home to California. Promptly after getting home mom forced everyone in the house to clean anything and everything they could get their hands on to get rid of the dust that had settled. Finally, after two days of deep cleaning, the house was up to her strict standards, leaving me with nothing else to do. Macy and Olivia were with their families catching up and spending some quality time together as they should, Youngjin spent some days out in the world catching up with his friends and I used this free time to catch up on sleep and not do anything, allowing my body to rest after the hectic few weeks we had in Seoul. By now I was ready to go out again and do anything that involved me leaving the house and distracting my mind from with my never-ending thoughts.

I kept thinking about Taehyung and me and the times we went out. The first time when we went to the museum everything was much friendlier as we got used to each other's presence, but then the night of Macy's birthday there was so much flirting and I was confused whether that was just as a joke or if it was serious because at least on my part it was real. He made me feel so at ease that it didn't take much effort to flirt with him and he responded so well too. It made me wonder if he had a crush on me too, and that lead me to think about a whole other thing, since now, I'm pretty sure my crush progressed into something more.

Lastly, the night of the concert it must have been incredibly hard open up to me, yet he did despite it all. It's so upsetting how people can be so selfish and use a person for their own gain. Although, it does make me happy to know he trusts me this much and it makes me not want to let him down, but does he trust me because of our friendship or because he wants something more? Ugh and Jimin doesn't help either with the things he told me at the birthday party with his little comments and unspoken words. He made me read between the lines, but is what I'm reading correct?

These thoughts have been bothering me for the past week and I can't do anything about them. I need a girl's night so I can vent, but that won't happen for a few more days at least and it's not like I want to talk to Jin about this. So, I did what I thought best get immersed in other people's love life and that means K dramas. I have spent days on the sofa getting invested and gushing over these shows wishing I had something like that and if I wasn't watching television I was scrolling through Tiktok much like I am doing now.

I laid lazily on the sofa, that by now had my imprint on it, scrolling through BTS Tiktok. I had recently gotten into it because of Jin, who constantly sent me the short videos. My For You page consisted of thirsty videos of BTS and I was not complaining, it was odd at times when a Taehyung video came up, because I know him so I don't know if what I'm doing is right BUT I might have feelings for him, and he is hot and it's right there so why not. Foolproof reasoning Nari. Anyway, I stumbled upon a thirsty Jimin video with hip thrusts, body rolls, and moments of him looking very sexy and of course, as a good friend and ARMY I had to send it to Olivia.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJq87LVT/ Check this out 👀🥵

-Nari

I kept scrolling, saving some videos, and liking others. I tried one of the trends of how you look when scrolling and I was startled at how much I looked like a potato from that angle. After a while my eyes threatened to close due to boredom when I received a FaceTime call almost causing me to drop my phone on my face. Looking at the caller ID it was Taehyung, and I wasn't surprised at his call, but I was not expecting it, since he usually texts me before he does. I sat up straighter in my seat, checked that my face didn't have any drool and answered the call.

"Hey Tae," I sang in greeting.

"So, you got the hots for Jimin now?" Taehyung inquired, raising one of his eyebrows and stroking his chin with his fingers.

I was startled by his question. Where did this come from? What made him think that?

"What are you talking about?"

"The Tiktok you sent me," he responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Going to my messages I saw that I had accidentally sent him the video meant for Olivia. Fuck.

"Oh my god no no no no no," I looked at Taehyung and started frantically shaking my head.

This had to be the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me and I have had a lot of them like the time I puked after kissing a guy I dated back in high school. He wasn't a bad kisser, but I felt sick and still went on the damn date.

"I hadn't expected him to be your bias Nari," he smirked, placing his hand on his chest offended.

"He's not!"

"I'm not? You hurt me Nari," And as if having Taehyung tease the hell out of me wasn't enough Jimin appeared with a cocky grin.

"I swear the Tiktok was meant for Olivia," I kept insisting, feeling mortified. 

After this I'm going to delete the damn app. No more Tiktok for me I have failed ARMY by letting them know of these videos' existence.

"Oh, come on, Nari don't deny it," Jimin added getting closer to the camera, blocking Taehyung for a moment and winking slyly at me urging me to turn the joke onto Taehyung.

Sometimes I wondered if Jimin was the bestest friend you could have or not.

"Okay and if I do?" I asked him, ready for some revenge for embarrassing me this much.

"Wait? What?" Taehyung stammered, looking between the two of us and sitting up straighter. 

"Nari, you surprise me, if that's the case we should go out one of these days just the two of us," Jimin giggled, raking his fingers through his hair.

I heard Taehyung whisper to himself something that made my heart pound, "What does he have that I don't?"

"You're right Jimin we do, and we already have something pending, remember?"

I noticed how Taehyung's ears started turning red from what I hoped was jealousy, while Jimin watched him from his peripherals. Realizing we had done enough for today we silently decided to wrap it up.

"Ugh, I forgot I can't," I dramatically face palmed faking disappointment. 

"Why not?" Jimin pouted, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I'd be making someone close to me upset," Taehyung looked up at my words watching me carefully.

"That's right! Olivia," Jimin snapped his fingers in realization.

"Sure, let's go with that," I told him, winking at Tae

"Well, I got to go I left Hope waiting for me in my room," Jimin sighed standing up and waving at me. 

"Bye Jimin."

"Yeah, bye Jimin," Taehyung mumbled. 

Taehyung watched as Jimin left and as soon as I heard the door close, he turned to me.

"Do you really like Jimin?"

"Nope, I meant when I said that Tiktok wasn't meant for you and that he is not my bias." 

"Is that what you do in your free time watch sexy videos of us?" he bit his lip trying not to laugh.

"Aish, I watch your MV's or interviews not those Tiktoks," I whined and lied, trying to save some of my dignity.

"But have you seen some Tiktok's about me?"

"Um, well, you see it's Tiktok a-and they just appear, you know?" Taehyung simply nodded urging me to go on, "I don't get to-um-choose which ones I see, so, um, yes?"

"And what do you think?"

"What should I think?" He is trying to kill me of embarrassment and I'm stupid enough to go along with it. It was a Facetime I could easily hang up, but mama raised no coward. I am getting through this even if it's the last thing I do.

"Would you give me that red emoji?" He looked down as he inevitably smiled at my flustered state.

"Um- uh-um, okay, I am not going to deny you are a very good looking individual- and-uh," I refuse to say out loud he was hot.

Taehyung all of the sudden burst out laughing, his square smile appearing in his handsome face and up to some point I didn't mind being the target of his teasing if I got to see him laugh and smile like that.

"You are so mean to me don't do me like that," I whined, hiding my face with a cushion.

"I'm sorry Nari-ah, you forgive me?"

"No."

"Come on, forgive Tae Tae and I'll send you Yeontan pictures," he bribed in a cute voice.

"Really? Promise?" I gasped, peeking at him.

"I promise."

"Okay, I forgive you," I beamed, dropping the cushion.

I loved that puppy even if it wasn't mine, he was so stinking cute.

"Do you have any pets Nari?"

"No, I had a dog once, but a few years ago, he passed due to old age," I sadly responded, thinking back to the time we had a Chihuahua called Clifford. Like the big red dog, yes.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Tae apologized quickly.

"It's okay, I'm mostly over it," I reassured him.

"Have you thought of adopting another?"

"Not yet, but I'd like too also I'm not sure I can right now."

"Why is that?" he asked.

"Because I might be moving in august," I told him.

Two days ago, I received the letter of acceptance for the semester abroad. It was official in august I was going back to Seoul and I couldn't be more scared. The idea was still appealing nonetheless, I was going to spend six months away from my family and friends. I don't think I am ready for that.

"To another state?"

"Nope, Seoul," I intently stared at him making sure to catch his reaction.

Taehyung took a pause before saying, "Seriously?"

"I applied for a semester abroad for college because I felt like I hadn't gotten out of my comfort zone and I was accepted the other day," I explained deeming it necessary, since I didn't want him to think it was because of him.

"That's so cool Nari, my little genius," he smiled excitedly.

"Oh, stop it or I'm going to believe it," I rolled my eyes, "I should be going in early august."

"We might be able to see each other soon then," he cheered.

"Yeah, maybe."

"Don't you want to see me?" He looked disappointed for a moment before hiding it and masking it as a joke.

"Of course! But I don't know your schedule, you're pretty busy," I quickly said.

Seeing him is what I want most, because besides my cousin, he was the most familiar thing I had over there.

"That's true, but I think around September we'll be going on break," he mumbled, looking at his phone. 

"Yup, it's right here," he waved his phone at the camera.

"That's great Tae you guys deserve it after surviving through the whole tour."

That tour has been so long, especially after they extended it and even if they have had small breaks in between I can only imagine how tired they must be of traveling all over the place and performing every night. I'm pretty sure they worked on new music too at the same time. Do they have superpowers or something?

"Wait, is that what you meant that last night I saw you?"

"Yes, but I hadn't gotten an answer, so I didn't want to put it out there," I laughed at his perplexed expression. 

"You gave me a headache wondering what you meant!" He exclaimed, ranting about how he spent hours trying to guess from my 'See you soon.'

"I'm sorry!"

As he replied I heard my brother's voice coming from upstairs, "Nari help me out here."

"One second," I yelled back.

"I gotta go duty calls," I apologetically remarked.

"Bye Nari and see you soon," he knowingly responded.

"Bye and please never mention the Tiktok again. Bye!" Rapidly I hung up before he could respond, yet I still caught the beginnings of his laugh.

Pursing my lips, I processed what had just happened and with a defeated sigh made my way up to my brother's room. I'm sure the girls will have a blast when I tell them.

A/N:

Thoughts of this chapter?

Have you ever sent a message to the wrong person? How embarrassing was it?

Funnily enough, it happened to me today and with a Tiktok too.

A lot of thinking in this chapter. A lot of news. And a lot of Jimin being, well, Jimin.

Next week I should be back to publishing more frequently since I'll be done with my exams!

As always, please, remember to vote, comment, and share with a friend.

-Nikki Marie 💜