I hated myself.

If this was a test Herald Tessoline had given me, I would have failed it woefully. Herald had been right when he said I couldn't keep running away from my problems. Crypta had said it too, although on a slightly different note.

I stared at the basin as I washed my hands and face. My eyes had formed the deep red colour that Griffin had been the first to notice. The colour was fading now that I had let my fire go into the basin. It made the running water hot as it ran down the sink's drain.

I sighed as I kept washing my face. My hair keep getting in the way so I angrily held it up and tied a rough ponytail.

A toilet flushed.

I turned to one of the red doors of the stalls, where I heard the noise. Why hadn't I considered the odds of someone being in the bathroom? What if she saw, or heard everything?

The knob turned and Luan walked out, adjusting her cheerleading outfit. The green colour provided an envious contrast to her pale skin.

I turned away just as she caught me staring at her. Sighing, I began to untie my ponytail. Luan came to stand beside me and she turned on the basin and began to wash her hand.

"I thought I heard the sound of nerd." She walked to the dryer and placed her hand under it. For a few seconds, nothing happened.

"The machine no longer works." I mean, it was obvious. Was Luan trying to make an impression?

"Your opinion was not sought for, nerd."

She blinked daringly. I could have sighed and walked away before she could slap me or insult me just like she had done at Kimberly's party, and days before. But no, Herald was in my head, encouraging me to stop running away from my problems.

Was Luan one of my problems?

No. She was just a stick in the way. One who couldn't do things without her daddy. One who walked with her hips projected up and her blonde hair flowing from left to right, making all the other girls jealous of her. They were the three musketeers: Sandra, Chloe, and Luan, listed in order of beauty, according to gossip from all the jobless students of Rose-Gold High.

"You know, a nerd is a person who's known for being boringly studious." I shrugged and turned to the mirror, a smirk appearing on my face.

Through the mirror, I could see her oval face staring at me in confusion. Her cheeks had a slight flushed colour and her blue eyes had a gentle touch of green. Those eyes that were widened in confusion. "So?"

"So," I fiddled with the wristwatch on my left wrist. It was one that my dad had bought for me, the day before I realized dad didn't just have three children. "One of the reasons the Goldies are praised is because their rehearsals and performance are carried out with great care and effort."

"What!" She blinked dramatically. I huffed; certain actions of the cheerleaders were always the same.

"That makes the entire cheerleading team nerds!"

"Nerds are insignificant people, Emery," she countered, stressing the word 'insignificant'.

"Take away the cheerleading system and what value do you add to Rose-Gold? You are not important, not in effect, not in meaning, don't you get it?" I chuckled.

I knew I was pushing a line no one had ever crossed but at this point, I didn't care. I was willing to test the waters. The horrified look on Luan's face was oddly comforting to me.

"You're just jealous of me, you insignificant nerd. You don't even have a father who cares," she said with a smile as she checked her nails. Then she dropped her hands and crossed her arms, daring me to go on.

Unfortunately, her words had little to no effect on me. If Sandra had told her about my family's condition, then I wasn't going to be ashamed. Mr Steve already knew.

I wanted to go on. "If your daddy died right now, tell me, would you be able to survive on your own?"

She stepped back and her arms dropped unconsciously. She shut her eyes and opened them again then turned her face away from me. "You can't take criticism but you derive joy in giving them out. Do you know what that makes you?"

I could begin to hear Luan's breath. She was exhaling loudly. I, on the other hand, was enjoying this. "Stop talking to me, you useless bitch." Her voice was barely a whisper. Heck, it was barely as threatening as it used to be.

"I'm sure we already know, telling by our outfits, who the real bitch is." I walked towards the bathroom door and turned the handle, just as I heard her stifle a sob.

My heart clenched. I turned and saw her gripping the basin and crying out. Luan wasn't a person to hold in her tears, unlike Chloe who would never break in front of you. I wanted to go and wrap my hands around her, to comfort her just as Crypta had done when this same girl had insulted me.

The bell rang.

My heart kept screaming karmic justice and with that, I opened the door and left Luan Adams with her thoughts.

Emily was walking out of the library with a textbook when I spotted her. I sent her a smile but in return, she folded her lips. "Hi."

"I haven't seen Griffin since yesterday. Is he okay?"

She clutched her textbook tighter. "He's gone to Scotland to visit his sick grandmother. Did he not tell you?" Her voice sounded too plain and uninterested like she wasn't in the mood to continue.

"No, he did not. Are you in a hurry?"

"Yes, yes," she replied almost immediately. "I've got a French make-up test to write, bye!" She walked past me hastily, like she was afraid I'd call her back.

I shrugged. Now that my entire break time had been used up, there was no use going to the library. I turned around and began to make my way to the class. Taking a glance at the bathroom door, I noticed that the bathroom door hadn't been opened since I'd stepped out.

A sad smile crept up my lips.

The break was already over. Either way, I didn't have a pass and I would be late for class.

Grabbing strength from heaven knows where, I walked to the bathroom door, again. When I opened the door, Luan was curled up on the floor with her face hidden in her palms, sobbing quietly. Her short green dress formed a circle across the floor and because her knees were up and supporting her elbow, her thigh was partly exposed.

Silently, I walked closer to her. She didn't seem to have noticed my presence. I knelt beside her and stared at her, wondering what I should do. She appeared so, so vulnerable. Not like the Luan who walked confidently to shops and threatened to have her daddy close them down because they didn't have honey-topped doughnuts. I sighed as I released my hands from my sides and wrapped them around her curled body.

She shuddered in shock until I said, "Luan," and she recognized my voice.

"Get your filthy hands off me."

Truth be told, this girl was not making this easier for me. "I, er, I didn't mean to say any of that."

She sobbed even more, not bothering to look up. I guess she felt she had already been embarrassed. "You... You don't regret it."

"I--"

"Get your filthy hands off me, Emery Scother!" She threatened with a broken voice. I grunted and let go of her. Her body folded even further from the absence of comfort. I knew she needed it.

"Do you want me to say it?"

"Say what?"

"That I'm sorry."

She looked up. I was still kneeling beside her. Her eyes were red. Her cheeks were even rosier than before. Luan Adams had natural blushed cheeks that reddened whenever she was embarrassed, nervous or hurt. So far, I've made her two of those.

We just stayed there in silence. I didn't care that I was getting into trouble sitting on the floor of a bathroom. I stared at the floor. Oddly, Collins Gritihan crossed my mind.

It was that Saturday Sandra and her friends had come to my house to wish me a happy birthday and then we'd gone to a resort to swim. Then, Cole had asked me if I would rather suck his dick or licked the bathroom floor. I rubbed the floor of the bathroom with my thumb.

It was also that day Luan had asked her mother to bake me a cake.

"I, er, I never got to say thank you for..." I breathed in. "The cake your mother baked on my birthday."

"She's not my real mother," was her only faint reply.

I turned to her. Her eyes were fixed to the floor but I knew she couldn't see it.

"I'm sorry, Luan, I didn't know—"

"I don't want you to!" She burst. Tears were uncontrollably spilling out of her eyes. "I hate you, Emery! You have someone who cares for you, who you have arguments with and talk about boys and periods and all that shit.

"You always talk about her. Telling us how much she means a lot to you, how much she's said violence wasn't the answer, you kept rubbing all her principles in our faces and reminding us that you had a mother. Fuck you!"

"Sandra, I didn't—"

"Didn't what?" She threw her arms up and rested them on her knees again. "Remember when you'd come running to Sandra about your mother's worsening health, Emery, I had been there. I wanted to help your mum because... Because I felt it was my own way of saving my mother," she whispered this part. "But you never acknowledged me, Emery. I was just some stereotype in your head. A girl who's addicted to miniskirts, isn't it? I dare you to tell me I'm wrong!"

Luan was fuming. I hated myself. I couldn't tell her she was wrong. Luan was a miniskirt addict. Hearing her say them back to me, I felt evil, dirty, disgusting.

"Of course I'm right!" She added just as my silence gave me away. I stared at the floor, too embarrassed to look into her eyes. "It was Sandra, it was always Sandra. Every time I tried to talk to you or ask for your help, you turned away because you already had a biased perception of who I am. You don't even care! You don't genuinely want to know anything about me. And yet you hate people for being so self-absorbed and egocentric. You're pathetic!

"Now? It's same Sandra you've hurt because you've succeeded in ruining her relationship with King. You use people, that's what you do. Making Steve fall for only you, telling us that your stepmother's a lawyer, getting top grades and grabbing the attention of all the teachers in the school. Be like Emery, Mr Cali always rings in her ear!" She began to mock his deep voice. "Emerald Scother can make it to the world's top universities. She's fit for class president. She's got what it takes blah blah blah. Who cares?! Why do you have to make them rub it in our faces?!"

Damn! Luan was talkative when she was mad. She wasn't done yet too.

I couldn't ignore the painful lump that formed in my throat or the tears that began to roll down my cheeks.

"I heard of what you did to Josh and how you've challenged Mr McMahon and his school system. You've done it publicly on purpose. Have you seen the posters outside? Everybody's cheering for you because of what you have done. I bet you're happy now, because you've got a beautiful share of fame."

Luan stood up and walked to the basin. She took her time to pack her hair in a ponytail letting her tears flow freely down her eyes. When she was done, she turned on the tap and began to wash her face, to wash the tears away.

I was still sitting there, absorbing everything she had said. Tears pooled in my eyes but I kept swallowing whatever accumulated in my throat. It was soft and painful. I breathed in and out, in and out again.

I didn't even realize when Luan came to stand beside me until she cleared her throat. She handed me a pass. "Have it, I won't be punished as much as you would, anyway... because, you know, I can always call my daddy." She added that last part mockingly.

Then she made her way to the door. "We didn't have any conversation, Emery. Do you get that?"

To be honest, I also didn't want other students to know. Still staring at the floor, I nodded. I didn't think she was waiting for my response though because as soon as she said what she had to say, she opened the door, walked out and banged it.

Fire didn't have to be literal, I had just figured. It didn't have to be my pejyora-hi; It was a spot in someone that burned when ignited.

At this point, I didn't know who was burning more.

.

A/N

Drop a vote and tell me who you think, between Luan and Emery, has caused more pain. →_→