We see our protagonist in his lab working on the Holy Hand Grenade and still making more. Not too far from him laying on the couch unconscious was Asia who got treated for her wounds. A door opened and from it comes Mittelt with a tray in her hands.

Mittelt: Gremory is probably not too happy with you.

Y/n: Don't care. Her fault for agreeing just like that.

Mittelt: Fair enough. Pancakes are ready.

Y/n: Put them on that table, I'll grab them in a second.

Mittelt wanted to protest but knew that Y/n wouldn't change his mind once he is working on his gadgets. She sighs and does as she was told.

Y/n: And... DONE! Guess what, Mit-Mit?

Mittelt: I'll take a wild guess and say that you finished working on the grenades.

Y/n: Yup, but here is the thing. Gold is the most powerful, silver second, while this brown boi is third. It's easier to make the third one of course, but not as powerful as these. But, they sure will be useful in case of bats.

Y/n: Now onto the grappling hook. And *chef's kiss* BEAUTY!

Y/n: This bad boy is gonna help me a lo-

You were interrupted (You get interrupted alot, huh?) by Asia starts groaning and wakes up, she gets up and is now sitting on the couch.

Asia: H-huh? Where... Am I?

Y/n:

Asia: Y/n!?

Totally Mittelt: No, I'm Mittelt. That's Y/n.

Totally Y/n: ... Really?

Asia stands up and rushes towards you giving you something called a H U G.

Y/n: What am I a teddy bear now?

Asia: What happened?! Is Issei okay?! Are you okay!?

You explain to her what the fuck happened and how she ended up here. I'm so great at making dialouges.

Y/n: And that's how I met your mother.

Asia: I-I see... They were after my rings...

Y/n: Cheer up, cinnamon roll. No one will hurt you anytime soon. You should get some rest right now.

Asia: Thank you, Y/N... But can I ask you something.

Y/n: Shoot, but not with my guns okay?

And the plot strikes once again because the author is just so good at making dialouges.

Asia: Can I go to school with you?

Y/n: -_- Eh? You sure school kinda sucks.

Asia looks at you with a face filled with determination.

Asia: Yes, I'm sure! I've never had any friends before you and Issei, and I'd like to make more! I heard the easiest way to make more friends is by going to school.

She stops before going wide eyed.

Asia: I'm sorry! I look ungrateful! You did so much for me and here I am wanting more.

Y/n: Pfft! Calm down, well ya? It's okay. I'll just call Sona to issue your entry. How that is gonna work?...Plot. Just becareful from the boys and girls, some are very annoying.

Asia: Thank you, Y/N! And don't worry, I know I'll be safe as long as you are with me!

Y/n just looks at the pureness that is Asia in front of him.

Y/n: And here I was thinking of using her when I first met her. I can't do that... Professionals have standards. Must protect.

Instead of showing too much affection, you just pat her head. Simple but effective.

Y/n: Don't give me diabetes now, Asia.

Asia: *blush* S-sorry...

Y/n: Stop apologizing please. Goodness you have some Canadian in you... Speaking of Canada. Goth Loli, is there any maple syrup?

Mittelt: Yes, there is. I'll bring some.

You look at the pancakes like a predator finding its prey getting ready to lunge at it.

Y/n: I gotta destroy it. In my belly you go!

Mittelt: the other plate is for Asia by the way.

Y/n: Dammit.

Y/n pulls out his phone and calls his "fiancé". Yeah, Y/N is still wary of it.

Sona: Oh hello, Y/n.

Y/n: Good evening to you, Sona. I hope you're not too mad that I had to ditch.

Sona: No, not at all. It looked quite important. I can understand.

Y/n: Ah, an understanding and cute girl. Truly a waifu material.

Sona: O-oh, I-it's nothing really.

Y/n: Stage one: denial.

Sona: I-is that all?

Y/n: What you don't like me talking to you? I feel my heart crack...

Sona: NO! That's n-not it, jerk!

Y/n: *chuckles* Anyway, listen could you inroll a cinnamon roll in school?

Sona: What?

Y/n begins explaining to her the situation whilst of course making dramatic sounds such as "BOOM, SLASH, BANG" like a kid playing with his toys-I mean action figures...

Sona: Hmm, I'll see what I can do. I'll do the paperwork now.

Y/n: Thanks Sona! You da best.

Sona: Goodbye, Y/n.

Y/n: Sayonara, Tsun-tsun.

Sona: What did you call m-

BEEP. Y/n hung up before a storm that is a mad woman could attack.

Timeskip

So... You are basically having two dinners right now. One back at the lab, and one in your house.

Fuji: So Y/n, how was your day?

Y/n: Like any other day. Class, annoying everyone, and sandwich by a tree.

Kaori: You haven't been sleeping in class now, have you?

Y/n: Nope, I'm an angel. Slip me some more hints that you know about the factions already!

Fuji: So was Lucifer, and guess how that turned out.

Y/n: *dramaticly* Oh, the trust issues hurt me. How can you not trust me?

You put your hand on your forehead like on of those old actings in theaters.
Your take another bite of your F/F (favorite food, or one of favorite food).

Y/n: *muffled* Food good by the way.

Kaori: Don't talk while your eating, Y/n L/n!

Fuji: *chuckles* Not so much of an angel now, Y/n. Guess it's best if you work with fallen for now.

Y/n: AHA! Wait... Azazel you motherfucking snitch! Heh, sure will. How's the apple tree?

Kaori: Watching videos. The usual.

Y/n: Still need to figure out her gear... But is it worth it? I don't want to drag her into this mess... Probably what mom and dad are doing... Or should I figure it out as fast as possible just in case? Good grief... This is tough decision, but my best bet is to wait for now. Let's not rush it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTpd-CEJahw

Now Y/n and the other students were in class. Of course Y/n was thinking about what to create next instead of paying attention. Until you hear a knock on the door. The teacher told whoever that was to come in.

The door opens revealing a nervous Asia Areganto.

Y/n: Don't ask on how fast the inroll was. Roll with the plot.

Teacher: Ah, you must be the new student I have been hearing about. Please introduce yourself.

Asia: My name is Asia Argento, I'm a transfer student from Italy. My hobbies are hanging out with friends and having fun. I hope we can get along!

BOOORIIING. Ahem sorry back to the story. A dumbass asked her a weird question.

A dumbass: Are you single?

The whole class focus more on the poor blonde, while Y/n was doing his best not to throw him out the window. Asia just nods to which the simps start cheering. Then another dumbass asked a question that only a creep would ask.

Another dumbass: Who do you stay by?

Y/n: What the fuck?

Asia's eyes lit up and was about to answer, but she saw Y/n give her a look that says "Don't answer".

Asia: By a friend.

Another dumbass: Bu-

Teacher: Take the hint! She clearly doesn't want to answer that! Argento go take a seat near Aika.

Oh look a wild Aika appeared. The most perverted girl in school. She is basically like a genderbent Issei.

Aika 'Not Kiryu-chan' Kiryuu

Asia takes a seat next to the brown haired lass.

Aika: Yo, Asia. I'll get to the point, what are your measurements?

Asia: Eh!?

Y/n: Kill me. Wait a second, isnt she supposed to know that already considering her ability to know PP or pp? Eh, whatever I'll kill her later.

Timeskip

It was now lunch time, Asia was currently sitting talking to her new friends AKA Murayama, Katase, and Aika. As usual Y/n was sitting alone tray of food in front of him and phone in hand. He looks to be spying on the ORC room. In his last visit while they were out to rescue Asia, Y/N assigned his maid to implant hidden cameras there.

Y/n: So far nothing. One of these days I need to implant some cameras in the student council. But that's not as necessary at the moment.

With Asia

Murayama: Woah, Italy sure sounds awesome!

Katase: Indeed, I've always wanted to see the Leaning Tower of Pisa!

Aika: Yup, that's a huge dick!

Katase: Aika!

Aika: What?

Murayama: Shut it. Do not corrupt Asia!

Aika: Fine. Speaking of which... Asia! You said you were single, does anyone here catch your eye?

Asia: U-um... Not really.

Aika: Come on! There has to be at least SOMEONE that catches your eye. Like in example the Prince of Kouh.

Murayama: There is no stopping her is it...?

Katase: No...

Asia: Well, Issei is a good friend, but I don't see him that way...

She starts looking around for a certain someone and surprise surprise, it was Y/n. She smiles when she sees you minding your own business.

Aika: Eh? You're into L/n?

Asia: Huh? Is... Is that a bad thing?

Katase: No, it's just that he is kinda of rude and all...

Murayama: Indeed, I still wonder how him and Nanako are related, she is super sweet and gave my sister her bracelet.

Asia: Rude...? But Y/n helped me, he is a kind person!

Murayama: Wait a second. How do you know his first name?

Katase: Don't tell me...

Aika: Bahahahaha! First name basis, eh? Is he the friend you are staying with?

Asia realizing her mistake has now a face that rivals all of the Gremorys, as she is struggling to find a good explanation.

Asia: O-oh, I-I-it's not l-like that!

Aika: Oh, don't have a heart attack now. We won't tell anyone, right girls?

Katase: Lips are sealed.

Murayama: We wouldn't be good friends if we do now.

The former nun smiles at her new-found friends.

Asia: Thank you.

Yay, friendship. Murayama starts speaking.

Murayama: I'm guessing that Nanako gave you that bracelet, didn't she, Asia?

Asia looks at her seal to which Y/n gave her it.

Asia: I can't screw up again. Yes, she did.

The rest of the lunchbreak went on smoothly, but the three gals were still confused because Y/n, but shrugged it off in the end.

After school

Y/n, Asia, and the rest of ORC members are seen in the club's room. No, Y/N was not invited but decided to show up anyway because a certain red dragon emperor failed to keep quite on something important today.

Y/n: The tea is nice.

Rias: Issei, this is my familiar. You should remember her.

Y/n: Did Kirby eat a bat?

Koneko: Probably.

Kiba: Definitely.

Issei: No, I don't think I saw it before.

After that the bat familiar proceeds to turn into a WHAMEN.

Issei: Ooooh, you are the one that gave me that flier!

Koneko: Cool. Don't care, but here is Shiro.

Akeno: Ara ara~ Mines are cute.

Last but not least.

Kiba: Mine is badass!

Issei: I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT!

Y/n: Show it anyway just to annoy him.

Kiba: Will do!

T

S A WALMART PETSHOP!

'The only pic I could find'

Rias: Well, Issei. Today we will get you a familiar!

Issei: Hell yeah!

Before she could make the teleporting thingy someone opened the door revealing the student council.

Rias: Sona, what a surprise. What are you here for?

Sona: First, I'd like to congratulate you on getting a new piece.

Rias: Thank you, Sona. You're too kind.

Sona: Second, I'd like to introduce my new pawn piece, Genshirou Saji.

Y/n: Oh look, it's Sausage.

Saji: *growls*

Y/n: If I throw a stick will you leave?

Saji: Tsk, douchebag...

He turns towards Issei thinking he will feel superior for once in his life.

Saji: So, you're Gremory's pawn, huh? What a joke I took 4 pieces!

Issei: Oh yeah, I took the whole set EIGHT pieces!

Saji: Huh!? No need to lie!

Rias: He isn't lying, it's the truth.

Sona: Saji! Apologies.

Saji: Bu-

Sona: We're not having the same conversation twice.

The pawn of Sitri sighs in defeat and forces an apology to Issei who was smiling smugly at him.

Issei: Now, I know how Y/n feels. This is nice!

Sona: I apologize for my pawn's behavior, Rias. But I'm planning on going to the Familiar Forest.

Rias: That's too bad, since I'm planning on going to the Familiar Forest as well!

Sona: Oh, I'm pretty sure you know that he only takes one peerage per month.

Rias: Well, how about we settle this with a game!

Sona: Hm, surely you don't mean a Rating match, we are too young for that... Besides you have a situation with "him".

Rias sent Sona a glare and shakes her head.

Y/n: Hmm, interesting...

Rias: No, I meant a sports match... Like Dodgeball!

Sona: Well, that sounds good. Y/n, you are the referee.

Y/n: As a referee I declare getting hit in the balls is allowed.

Immediately Issei, Saji, and Kiba put their hands to cover their jewels.

Kiba: YOU EVIL!

Y/n: Ironic coming from a devil.

Saji: FUCK YOU!

Y/n: I'd rather if you didn't.

Issei: WHYYYY!?

Y/n: Why not? Plus entertainment for me.

The girls start chuckling while some were worried. Y/n looks at them MENACINGLY.

Y/n: Don't you think I forgot about you. Even if you get hit in your womanly and private parts, it's still counts. Equal rights, equal fights.

The two pawns got quite excited after hearing the womanly parts.

Issei & Saji : YES!

Momo: At least we know who to target first.

Koneko: You speak my language.

Scene Change

We see the main cast wearing gym clothes getting ready for a war. While Asia was wearing a cheerleader outfit on her journey to conquer the world with stage 9001 diabetes.

Y/n: Alright maggots! Today we fight and don't you think of pulling a France just because America is coming for your oil, while dropping bombs on your ass like it's the Middle-East and spreading D E M O C R A C Y! I WANT YOU TO BE AS STRONG AS A RUSSIAN WHO GOT ORDERED BY PUTIN TO DRINK 56 BOTTLE OF VODKAS WHILE DOING THE KAZOTSKY KICK WITH ON LEG! SNEEZE BOMBS AND SHOW ME YOUR MOTIVATION!

Issei: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS, BUT I'M HYPED!

Kiba: URRAAH!

And so the war has begun.

Koneko proceeds to use her rook strenxh to YEET a ball that went as fast as Winnie the Pooh censoring news, where it hit Saji's family jewls GOD DAMN.

Y/n: And yer'out!

Many balls were lost and sacrifice
that day, be it the actual dodgeballs, family jewls, and badonkers. No man or woman were spared.

I'll save you the pain and just skip to where Rias wins. And you pulled the favor card aka the flier Issei on had on her, and now you were in the Familiar Forest.

(So, I know I have been toying a lot with the portals and not using it properly since only peerage members can teleport. But since I'm an idiot, we'll make it that the non-peerage member has to have a flier of that family and the peerage leader has to agree to it in order for the TP to work)

Zatouji 'Crack-head Ash Ketchum'

Zatouji: Who goes there? Don't want a gum stuck in my hair.

(don't ask, I was too lazy doing the rhymes)

Rias: It's Gremory. I'm here to get a familiar for my servant, alongside two allies.

Zatouji: Ah, be my guest. The names Zatouji the Familiar master at his best.

Y/n: Your best? You look like an old Ash Ketchum after he didn't become the very best, started drinking and doing a shit-ton of drugs. If that's your best, then oh-boy I don't wanna see you at your worst.

Kiba: Have mercy on him.

Y/n: No.

All of you proceed to go further into the forest while crackhead was escorting you there. Suddenly something seemed to catch Asia's eye. The Familiar master seem to have noticed it.

Zatouji: Ah, the rare-breed Sprite dragon, most of the time it only gives females compassion.

Y/n: So it's a Simp Dragon.

Asia: It's so cute!

Zatouji: Cute, but dangerous too. When angry it's shoots lightning beam that's blue.

It flies up to Asia and muzzles to it. Of course, that made Asia want it even more.

Asia: Y/n, can we keep it?

Y/n: No.

Asia: Please.

Y/n: No.

The Sprite dragon glares at you while you were smirking at it, knowing damn well you were pissing it off.

Y/n: Maybe, if he tones down the simping.

Asia: Raigeki, please tone down the simping.

(Raigeki means "Lightning Strike" which was the name Asia used to make it Rassei, but this isn't canon so...or is it?)

Flashback

Somewhere in an unknown place a man with long pink hair and dots in it is seen.

Diavolo: A-another world... What is it this time!?

Looking to his left, he sees that he is on a rooftom, he looks to his right and he sees a dead fallen and gasps. He looks behind him and he has black wings.

Y/n: HERE'S Y/N!

Diavolo: No... STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!

He proceeds to get shot in the stomach 3 times and slashed in the face.

Y/n: THIS IS REQUIEM!

He gets Sparta kicked off the building, and he shouts his final words in this world.

Diavolo: DAMN YOU, GIORNO GIOVANNA!

He falls on a piece of metal the impales him, like Joel did in the Last of Us... It doesn't have a sequel by the way.

Flashback end

Asia proceeds to look at the Sprite dragon with...

The puppy eyes... Oh God the puppy eyes. The Dragon could not resist,it nods.

Y/n: Well, I guess we can keep it. Named it already, huh?

Asia: YAY!

She proceeds to make it a group hug, Raigeki clearly didn't like that Y/n was included in the hug, but knew that Asia was gonna use her powerful eyes on him. Y/n just smiled smugly like the king of smugness he is.

The hug was cut short by Rias screaming. The three of you look to the cause of it and she alongside Akeno and Koneko had slimes on them, and to make matters extra amusing it was eating their clothes away. Issei being Issei didn't do anything and just watched like a monkey.

Now, you think Y/n would help...but he was laughing his ass off.

Kiba tried getting it off but ended up as a victim of the slimes.

Rias: Issei help!

Issei snapping out of it tried to take it off, but ended as another victim.

Y/n: And another one bites the dust!

Rias: Don't just laugh help us!

Koneko: Issei, I will make World War 2 look like a tea party after I'm done with you.

Akeno was.... Enjoying it? What the fuck!? I'm just a narrator don't make me see these stuff!

Y/n: Hmmm, let me think about it. I could just annoy them further, but that wouldn't be useful to me. She probably doesn't like me after yoinking Asia just like that, normally I wouldn't care. But it wouldn't be profitable.

Out of the corner of your eye you spot an animal looking at you. You turn towards it and it was a fox holding a wrench in its mouth.

It continues staring at you before running off. You turn towards the Crimson haired WHAMEN.

Y/n: Oh, don't be such a baby. Asia, please tell Sprite Cranberry to help them, while I go explore a bit.

Asia: Okay, be careful!

After leaving you could hear Issei screaming because of the death of the slime... Then he got electricuted.

You pick up the pace while continuingly looking around.

It seems like you have lost it, with a forest this big,all of a sudden you hear a bark. Looking to where the noise came from you see a wolf pup.

Y/n: Hello there.

The pup barks in response. And wiggles it's tail.

Y/n: Have you seen a wolf with a wrench around here?

It stops and looks to be thinking. This is one SMORT pup. It turns around and barks like it's calling someone.

From there emerges two more pups that look exactly the same as the first one. And oh boy they look like they are having a convo.

One of the two pups look at you, barks then spins around and runs somewhere. The two pups does the same.

Y/n: Those are smart pups, maybe I should make them my familiar... I've always wanted a dog, but a wolf will do.

They enter on what looks to be a tunnel, the pup you first met stops at the entrance and waits for you to catch up before following the two.

Slowly but surely you start hearing sounds of machinery, oh boy.

You reach the place, thank the pups, and see a fox girl holding wrench.

Lily 'Jelly-filled donuts'

(Have I made the Lost Pause proud?)

Lily: Ugh... Oh, hey. You're that guy.

Y/n: Am I really that scary for you to run away from me.

Lily: Nah, just wanted to see who were the visitors this month,then get back to work on this bad boy.

She points at what she's building, and it's a bigger wrench.

Y/n: What you making a bigger wrench to make even a bigger one?

Lily: No, chief! This is not an ordinary wrench. It's a weapon!

(Basically like this, but it's still not complete)

She picks it up and holds it in her hands.

Lily: It's also a wrench!

Y/n: Shocking...

Lily: Look at this beaut-

CRASH the head of the wrench falls.

Lily: ...Still working on it...If only I had better mats...

You pick up the first pup and pet it in you arms,while responding to the fox girl.

Y/n: Well, today is your lucky day! Because ya Boi skinny penis has a fucking lab with a crap ton of materials ranging from metals, ropes, and other stuff the author is too lazy to write!

Oh boy, her eyes lit up like a fucking lamp. She runs towards Y/n holds him by his shoulders and STARTS SHAKING HIM as if he's a drink. The pup jumps off from his hand before the milkshake happened.

Lily: REALLY REALLY REALLY?!?

Y/n: STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!

Lily: Oh, my bad! Oh, right. I'm Lily the fox mechanic!

She struck a dramatic POSE.

Y/n: Well, the name is Y/n L/n, Lily Joestar.

Lily: Well, guess this is the part where the contract happens and yada-yada. I, Lily accept to be thy familiar!

A  magical contract appears out of thin-air, the contract has been sealed.

Y/n: Okay, this is epic and all, but where are the pups?

Lily: I don't know, chief! They were here a second ago.

Elsewhere in the Familiar Forest

Three wolf pups are seen jumping over each other, running like the wind and peek from a bush, basically like this.

A portal opens in front of them and they seem to be familiar with it. Out from it comes a woman with quite the business clothing, she has white fluffy sheep hair,and red eyes with bags under it (Wonder who that reminds you off?), and is wearing a big set of glasses comes out and she looks to be tired.

???: Cerberus, come out right now. I know you're here!

The pups proceeds to become one with the bush... Well, they tried. The white haired woman seem to be staring directly at the hiding place knowing damn well they were in there.

???: *sigh* I've got snacks!

That's all she had to say as the three wolf pups now known as Cerberus are right in front of her. She sighs tiredly.

???: Of course... You are supposed to be the Guardian of Hell, the ACTUAL one... Come on, let's go. Lucifer is not too happy with you...

She makes a portal and the pups go in it. The tired woman takes a look around just in case if the "Guardian of Hell" destroyed anything. And now to the reveal of the picture.

Pandemonica 'Bigass glasses' the Tired Demon

Pandemonica: I need a coffee...

---------------------------------------------------------

There you have it folks, another chapter. Man I'm digging myself deep with this.

So, yeah you now have a familiar that can help you build stuff, wonder how that goes.

Yup, Helltaker is in this universe... I'm torturing myself in the future for more ideas on how to continue the fanfic. Oh well, future me's problem. I know irresponsible.

Although I do have an idea, I'll just improvise like I always do. Thankfully, I can do it... I hope.

So moment of truth... Glorious Victory? Bad End? OFF TO MY JOURNY IN HECC TO GET A DEMON GIRL HAREM?

DashingBanana is running away from his problems again.