Theo

I tense my jaw defeatedly, recounting on everything that has happened in the last five months. Recounting on the fact that I left this place with verified vexation in my heart for the two people that lived here; attempting to close my snowed eyelids every night on the sometimes wet, sometimes cold pavement, and feeling an unmissable amount of hatred that caressed my body with tormenting heat. I thought I knew what had happened, but I didn't even know the half of it. Now, I'm hoping my burning body is enough to break me from this entrapment, and give this joke something to dwell over as he takes his last, painful breath for what he's done to the two most important people in my life.

For the rest of what feels like the longest day of the year, I try to battle sleep by attempting to release myself from his hold on my feet. But, he manages to detect my resistant shuffling, which results in a blow to my face. The exact same one he gave to my mother, whose deep slumber makes me acknowledge how tired she is from living this life for so long. Pain fills my heart, as I look at her and wonder how she dealt with the fear of his wrath, and the fear of not being able to speak to me, and see how I am doing.

With the curtains drawn to infinity, my body is the only thing that can detect that it is nighttime, and I feel myself back to the situation I am all too comfortable with - having just one sip of water to warm up my tired mouth, for just a second before it returns back to the dry, tasteless feature that I loathe.

Eliza

"Morning, honey," I hear my mom say with excitement in her voice, as she walks into the room. "I have some good news." She sits down next to me, but I ensure I focus my attention on the gray wall, just like I have been doing for the past nineteen hours.

"So, I have a friend that works over in a hospital in Connecticut, and she told me about this really good burn center they have there. With the best surgeons, and the best resources."

My ears flare up as the recognition of what she is saying washes over me. "A burn center?"

"Yes. It's the best place to receive treatment for... What happened."

"In Connecticut? I'm not doing that," I whisper.

"What?"

"I'm not going there."

"Eliza, this is for you."

"Are you sure it's not for you? Why do I need to go to a burn center in Connecticut when I can just go to one in Manhattan? They do have ones in Manhattan, right?"

"Well, yes but-"

"But nothing. Don't act like we both don't know what this is really about, mom."

"It's about you getting the best help and care immediately, Eliza."

"No, it's about you not wanting me to see him. Or be with him."

"This is not about Theo."

"Yes, it is. You hate him. And you hate the fact that I love him." I feel tears rising to my eyes, but I feel too weak to wipe them away.

"No, what I hate is you sitting here crying, pretending that you're angry at me for wanting the best for you, when really all you're angry about is the fact that you waited here all day yesterday for him to come, and he never did."

"Yeah, because he's scared he would run into you! And that you would run him out."

"Are you making excuses for him now? Romeo and Juliet were on two opposing teams, Eliza, and they still managed to put their love for each other first. If he really loved you, nothing could be a big enough obstacle to prevent him from coming here. Nothing."

"Just like nothing should scare you enough to feel like you have to move to another state to get away from it? Have you even thought about it? Like really thought about it? We live in Manhattan. Not Connecticut. You wanting me to go to a burn center in Connecticut is the same thing as you saying you want us to pack all of our things from Manhattan to move there. But we live here, mom. We know here."

"Yes, but we can get to know Connecticut as well. You might even like it better than here."

"What about your job? And what about Olivia? She's my best friend. And what about college?"

"My job will be looking after you. I've got enough money to keep us going, and to even rent us a house out there. As for Olivia... She is your understanding best friend that's not going to get angry at you for wanting to get the best treatment for an unfortunate accident you had. Speaking of her, I spoke to her yesterday. She said she wanted to come and see you, but you seemed really down, so I told her to come today. She'll be here soon."

"And college?"

"I spoke to them, and they have allowed you as much time off as you need to heal. Your tutors will still send you your assignments by email, and when you feel up to doing them, you can post it to them. You don't have to physically go to college right now, Lize. So, we'll cross the bridge of how you'll get there, when we get there."

"Seems like you've got it all worked out."

"I have. 'Cause it's the best thing."

"I can't go to Connecticut, mom. It doesn't feel right to-"

My voice is cut off by a knock on the door, and for the first time since I've laid on this bed, I strain my neck heavily to see who it is. My heart is filled with intense hope that it is him; that she is wrong; and that he is here, but I feel myself take a large gulp at the image of my best friend standing at the door.

"Hey," she says.

"Hey," I reply down-heartedly.

"Hi, Olivia," my mom says, before putting a hand on my arm. "Just think about it, honey. Okay?" I remain still, as she stands up. "I'll give you guys some time."

I imagine her feet to be out of the door as the air gets looser, and the chair becomes filled with my best friend's body.

"Hi," I hear a sheepish voice.

"Hi."

"How are you doing it? I was going to come yesterday, but your mom said-"

"Yeah, that I wasn't in the mood. I know. She had no right saying that."

"Well... I can see why she thinks it wouldn't make for good conversation. You're annoyed at me aren't you?

"Why would I be annoyed at you?"

"Because I'm not Theo." I shift around on the bed subconsciously at the bitter taste his name now causes in my mouth. "I saw your face when I knocked. You were... Disappointed." I can't find the words in me to tell her she is right. "He hasn't come to visit you, has he?"

"For all I know, he doesn't even know I'm here."

"But he does, doesn't he? Your mom told, well asked me about you and him yesterday."

"What did she say?"

"She had just come from your house to get some clothes for you, and she saw a box and a note beside it. And it said-"

"I know what it said."

"Well, it must have been Theo that opened it right?"

"Maybe it was her."

"She wouldn't do that."

"She would do anything to make sure he's no longer in the picture. How do I know that he saw the note? How do I know that he's not in the house? And he has no phone to contact anybody, so how would he know that there's anything wrong?"

"Eliza, surely for not seeing you in a day, he would get a little worried."

"But that doesn't mean he would get the intuition that I'm in the hospital. And... Say he got the note. How would he even know what hospital I am in?"

"Okay, fine. You know what? I'm going to go over there, and I'm going to stay there until the morning, and see if he's there at any point. If he's not... He's gone, Eliza."

"Well, I'm sure he'll be there. That's his home now. He has nowhere else to go."

Despite not being able to see her face, I can sense that she is pulling an unconvinced look, which expands the hole in my heart even deeper.

Theo

"Anyone up for some eggs? No? All the more for me then." I close my eyes at the hopes it will block out the imagery of everything in the room, everything that reminds me of a farcical time of my life, a false time of my life.

"Hey, Theo. How do you think sweet Eliza's doing?"

"I thought I told you to shut the hell up about her."

"But, I want to talk about her. So, I'm going to talk about her. Hey, don't you think it's funny that I sent her a mask? It's even funnier that I sent her a mask that goes over the eye, when the real damage that should be covered is on the left side of the face. Don't you think it's funny?"

"I swear to God, Felix, if you don't get her name out of your mouth, I will kill you with my bare hands; cut your body up into little pieces and then put you in a sandwich to feed to the birds."

"Oh, yeah? I'm waiting."

"You won't be waiting very long, I promise you that. Because I will get out of these things," I say, causing movement on my arms and feet, "and you're going to be begging for mercy when I get my hands on you."

"So let me get this straight. If you were released, you would rather spend more time with me, than finding your girl to spend some good 'ole quality time with her?"

"I never said that."

"Yeah, you did. You mustn't love her that much then."

"You don't know anything about my feelings towards anybody."

"I know that if I loved a woman who was sadly involved in a... Terrible accident, the first thing on my mind wouldn't be to run straight to the person who did that to her. It would be to run to her." My eyes pierce into the white wall wall in front of me, taking my mind back to every moment I walked up and down the white stairs in that house. I felt like I was one step closer to achieving happiness everytime I walked up the stairs; one step closer to being someone's happiness. But I should have known that nobody that lives in hell, sees the same colours in heaven. Nobody.

"And I know that if I wanted revenge on somebody, I would induce that on them, not an innocent bystander who can't defend themselves."

"Well, then I guess we've learnt by now that we're just two different people. Oh, by the way, did I tell you about her face? It was like somebody was sucking the life out of her; maybe it is because somebody was literally sucking the life out of her. Or maybe it's because she wanted to scream so badly but-"

"You stupid punk, you think it's cool to attack innocent people? You think you can just destroy their lives like the coward you are? You're a weasel, a pathetic excuse of sperm that should have been swallowed, and I promise you as if this is the last breath I'm taking, if I cannot kill you and watch the life be squeezed out of every area in your face, you will never be able to touch anybody ever again," I finish, yearning for more to come out, but the shortness of my breath tells me that is not going to be happening.

"Theo..." My mom finally speaks for the first time today.

"What, are you going to stick up for him again?"

"You haven't eaten, you haven't drunk anything, you shouldn't be wasting your energy like that."

I tear my eyes away from the wall, and look down at the blue jumper she picked out for me - "it's the best colour that compliments your skin tone, apart from black and gray of course." - I feel as though I can even smell her sweet atoms eroding from it, and more than I've ever craved anything before, I crave her.

"That was exactly the reaction I was looking for," I finally hear. "Well done, Theo. For always being so damn predictable. It's okay. Maybe you'll get to see her soon. Maybe not."

I intently swallow all the saliva parading around in my mouth, that I've been using to keep the area warm. My mom is right - the more energy I waste, the less energy I'll have to try and get myself out of here, and to Eliza. He knows this.

"I'm going to make myself a cup of tea. I'll be exactly three minutes, and the same goes for yesterday. You're tied up, the door's locked, there's no escaping for you."

I see my mom turn around from the corner of my eye, as his last step is taken outside of the room, before she turns back around.

"I wasn't sticking up for him, honey," she whispers.

"I know."

"I can't believe I forgot to ask yesterday, but do you have a phone? By any chance?"

I shake my head. "I haven't gotten a phone since I left here."

"Hm. I kind of thought that maybe you would..."

"What?" I look her in her eye for the first time, where her hazel eyes seem the exact replica to mine. I also see a look she is trying her hardest to cover up, but is not succeeding in doing. "Steal one?" I finally conclude is what she is trying to say.

"I don't mean that in a bad way, but it wouldn't be hard. I mean, Manhattan is a very busy place, and if you get close enough to somebody on the street, who knows what could fall into your hand?"

I let out a small, stimulated laugh. "Out of all the things I needed, I would say a phone was at the bottom of my list."

"Right. Because you wouldn't need to contact anybody," she says with a dejected tone, making it clear who exactly she is referring to. A wave of guilt entraps me. "But what about your friends back here?"

"Friends? They were more like acquaintances that just liked to get drunk, have fun, and steal their parents' cars for a little ride. They probably haven't even noticed that I'm gone."

"Theo, your presence is too strong to not be noticed when it's no longer there." At that, we share another round of eye contact, accompanied by a first reciprocated smile we have had towards each other in a very long time. I feel that structure of my face broken, however once I hear those footsteps again.

The next few hours restores me back to the state of anomie I found myself in when I only had the street corner to welcome me as a tenant. I feel every single piece of food I've had to eat in the last few weeks being ripped away from me; and every single substance I've drunk being sucked away from me, like a mosquito's touch. I fear that I didn't take for granted enough the moments when I was surrounded by the heavenly sense of lasagna and the nose-running smell of spaghetti bolognese. I fear that my reasoning for that was to preserve Rosanne's already fixated conception of me as a hungry beast. But imagining the succulent taste of just a single crumb of food on my tongue makes me want to roar.

A phone goes off in the background, and is soon accompanied by the sound of a despicable chuckle that shoots daggers through my chest.

"What's that girl's best friend's name called, Theo? Oh, Olivia right?" My head finally finds a reason to spring itself up again, and it happens so fast I almost feel as if it is near to being separated from my neck. "She's another pretty one. Might have to give her a little present too. Just to keep the domino effect going."

I dictate to myself that presenting my anger to him will do nothing but rile him up, leading him right into the path he wants to be in. I press my teeth down hard on my bottom lip to prevent me from unleashing the fury inside of me.

"That silence... Does that mean you don't care if I hurt the best friend of the girl you love? Or does it mean you care too much? Or maybe I'll just find that other guy that Eliza holds hands down the street with sometimes. Did you know that was how she got down, Theo? I hate to break it to you, but your girl seems like a bit of a-"

"Don't say it," I warn, noticing my nails digging into my palms.

"-Catch," he finishes. "Oh, did you think I was going to say something else? Well, we could go with that one too. Would you like to know updates on what's going on down there while you're here?"

"No."

"I'm going to tell you anyway. Rosanne went back to the house and came out with a bag. Maybe she's going somewhere, with Eliza. She also picked up the cute note I sent you, where she probably showed her daughter, and she's probably found out about you and her daughter. Because it was a secret right? Nobody would want to be willingly shout to the world that they're with a trash bag like you. Anyway. Do you know what that means, Theo? It means Eliza knows you read the note; which means she knows that you know that she's in hospital; which means that she's probably sitting tightly waiting for you to show up, wondering why you're taking so long, and where the love suddenly went. How long do you think it'll take for her to finally give up, and come to the realisation that you just ran away, because all of that was just not your cup of tea anymore?" His words causes chills to descend throughout my whole body.

"I didn't run away. She will know I didn't run away."

"How would she know that? You ran away from home didn't you? You're a runner, Theo. She knows that. And even if she's too stupid to realise it, I bet her mom and her best friend are spending every waking second whispering in her ear about how bad you are for her, and how you're a literal running definition of 'when the going gets tough, the tough get going."

"Shut up."

"But I'm not done talking. Is the truth too hard for you to hear?"

"Felix, just leave him alone! Stop pestering him when you know it's creating a hole full of anger in him!" My mom suddenly bursts out with, but he stands up as soon as the first syllable excretes from her mouth, and before I know it, he is grabbing her face tightly in his hands.

"Did I ask you to speak, bitch? Huh? Answer me. Did I at any point give you a command to speak?"

"No you didn't," I immediately cut in, "so leave her alone."

"I want her to say it. Say you involved yourself when you shouldn't have, or I'm going to smack the remaining energy out of you."

"Yes. I got involved when I shouldn't have," my mom finally says, her voice monotonous.

"Good girl. Now you're both going to shut the hell up whilst I entertain myself," he says as I suddenly hear noises coming from what I assume to be the television. A commentary of basketball fills my ears, reminding me of the interests I used to hold in my other life - but the feeling of nostalgia is overpowered by the incessant need to not revert back to anything that reminds me of who I used to be.