"Mmh..."

My eyes feel heavy as they slowly open, the light from outside making me blink a bit to let them get adjusted. My body feels like lead, and my head feels just as heavy.

Waking up to an unfamiliar ceiling it's only seconds after I realise where I am and what happened last night.

I feel as though my heart stopped again, as the events of last night rush through my head, blood rushes to my cheeks, and I shut my eyes once more.

I roll my head to the side to see if Serena's where she was when I drifted off to sleep. All that's there now is an empty space on the bed, and the room beyond.

I still can't believe that she was that girl who I saved back in Kanto. One out of 7billion the chances were, and it was her.

I sluggishly sit up and rub my eyes, before pinching the bridge of my nose and looking around the room.

I'm still bereft of my clothes, and after a quick scan of the floor for them, I notice that they're neatly folded in a corner of the room. Try as I might, I can't see Serena's anywhere.

With a great yawn, I get myself out of bed and quickly look for some underwear. I grimace a little at the prospect of putting my boxers back on after yesterday's efforts did a job on them, but I don't have much choice.

'Don't forget to change your underwear, Ash!' My Mom's words echo through my head.

I get myself dressed for the coming school day in short order.

And then...I'm alone.

I would have liked to wake up next to her, but...maybe it's a good thing that I have a few moments alone.

The sound of the door handle cracks through my thoughts, and I turn to face it.

Sure enough, Serena comes through and shuts the door behind her. She has what seem to be two microwaved instant meals in her hands, so this is a little difficult.

"Good mornin', Serena." I smile at her.

"M.....'morning." She blushes.

She makes her way to her desk, setting down both plates. I ca now see them to be small satay dishes, their contents steaming, with a fork stuck inside the rice of each.

I give thanks to her for bringing them in, and we each take one and get down to eating. She sits on her desk chair, while I sit on the side of the bed.

She glances towards me every so often as she eats. I only notice her doing so because I'm doing just the same thing.

We're eating together as if we were a couple. We had sex last night; a first for the both of us. Something feels....wrong, though.

Maybe that's why we can't say even a word to each other as we finish our plates and leave them in the sink.

Maybe that's why we leave Serena's room without holding hands, or making small talk

Maybe that's why it feels as if we're further apart than we've ever been before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We enter the classroom together, neither of us so much as glancing at each other. Just after we do so, I realize that this may have been a mistake. Bianca lifts her eyebrow at the sight, her suspicions raised.

We reach the center aisle between the classroom's desk and look to each other. I'm not quite sure what I should say. Does she want me to address her as a girlfriend? I didn't think our relationship was...Oh. That's why this feels so strange.

GOD I'M SO OBLIVIOUS!

"S-see you." 

"Okay" Serena blushes.

I awkwardly hold up a hand as we part and take our seats at our respective desks.

I can't even look back to her out of embarrassment. I feel like the gulf between Serena and me is because of me.

Bianca begins to make her way towards me, but then Sycamore enters the room.

I like Serena, but I've never told her what my feelings for her are. Serena never said she saw me as anything beyond a friend, either. Yet, despite that, we slept together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bell to signal the beginning of lunch rings out. Sycamore is taken a little off guard, his chemistry lecture being cut off midsentence, much to his chagrin.

With that all the students get up and leave, besides me and Serena.

I walk to Serena's desk intending to chat, but she awkwardly blushes and looks down even before I've come up to her.

I open my mouth to reassure Serena, but she preempts me.

"I.... I...Ivegottogodosomething!" She gets out fo her chair and dashes for the door. A couple of books and pens that were on her desk are sent falling to the floor in her rush.

I'm left despairingly looking at the door that Serena disappeared out of. The idea of running after her passes through my mind, but I'm fairly sure that Serena can run faster than I can.

Eventually, I simply crouch down and begin picking up the items that had fallen to the ground from her desk.

I have to talk to Serena, I couldn't even talk to Misty...I'm not going to lose Serena.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I pace around in the park, feeling of anxiety rolling over me. Every so often I reach into my pocket to take out my phone, but each and every time I hesitate and end up slipping it back in.

If this were any normal situation, I wouldn't be cutting classes. Unfortunately, it isn't, and so I find myself in the town below the school at two in the afternoon.

Ever since I met Serena, I've been the one to initiate everything between us. The one that started conversations, went to her wherever she was, and suggested what we should do. Today, this once, I don't want to be the only one doing that.

My hand dives into my pocket once more. This time I quickly navigate to the texting menu before I have a chance to change my mind again.

'Serena, if you want to talk, I'll be at the park in town for a while.'

I press the button and send it.

And now....I wait. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The apple juice from the vending machine tastes awfully bitter as I swill it down. My grip on the can has caused it to dent slightly in the middle.

Serena is dear to me.

What happened in the last couple of days has put a lot of pressure on both of us. The idea of losing all the progress we've made in coming closer to one another, and losing our friendship as a whole, is deeply unsettling.

But even then...I still don't really know how close we are. We may have had sex, but before that, all I knew us to be was friends. Maybe we are more than that, but if so, I never realised it.

"A....Ash...?" 

I look up, I pause for a moment, almost not believing the sight. I drop the can and stand up with a stare.

She's cut her hair and changed her style. (XYZ Style)

"I-Is that the blue ribbon I gave you?" I point at the blue ribbon on her chest.

She blushes, moving her hands to it and nods.

"Serena..."

With her hair cut so short you can she the scarring on her neck, but why would she cut her hair if she's so insecure? 

When I went to see Serena in her room by myself after her breakdown, I had no idea what to say. That was fine, then. All either of us wanted was each other's presence.

Now, though.... I feel like I need to talk to her directly. I want to break down this wall between us, before it forces us apart for good.

"Serena... I.....What we did that night...how should I interpret that?" I look at her.

She stops playing with her hair and looks at me, her head cast slightly downwards. She looks ashamed, which is probably a good mirror of how I would look now if I weren't so concerned.

"i thought.... you might eventually go away if I was only someone you needed to protect. I thought if I let you do that....you might see me as someone more than that." She looks sad.

My first reaction is disbelief, but... I did do it with her, after all. I had plenty of opportunities where I could have stopped things, stepped back, and questioned what we were doing. In the end, though...I didn't

A horrible feeling rises in the pit of my stomach. She offered herself to me because of what she thought I wanted, and now, it feels like I took advantage of her. She maybe have been willing, but only under false premises.

I've never been good at hiding my emotions from physically showing, and now is no different. Serena looks down once more, a strange mixture of depression, regret, and sickness written to her face.

Silence hangs in the air, save for the breeze blowing through the trees around us.

"I knew.... you couldn't look at me that way..."Serena's words are said in little more than a whisper, seemingly directed just as much at herself as to me

"In what way? What do you mean?" I question her.

"All I ever was to you was...a useless person. Just someone....to protect. Someone....like a child....I-I wanted to be more to you than that, but after so long...I...got used to it." She trembles in her words.

 "After I came out of my room.... I saw that you had started drifting away. I felt like I was going to lose you, because...you wanted somebody you could have....that kind of relationship with. You were more quiet in school than before, and you were getting on so well with Joy...I thought...that I might lose you."

She thought I was bored of her, because I wanted a romantic relationship?

"But....we're friends, right? I wouldn't just abandon you like that, even if what you're saying was true." I say

"Friendship...was something I thought I'd given up on. I stopped believing in others...after what happened after the accident...Before the accident happened, I got on well with people and other children. I didn't have many friends...but I didn't mind, because I treasured the ones that I had. Afterwards, though....I was called names by other, and teased a lot. It hurt....really deeply. The teachers tried to help, but they couldn't do much, and even many of them recoiled just at the sight of me. Among those calling me names and teasing me...were the ones that I thought were my closest friends. From then on, I believed that it didn't matter if nobody else acknowledged me. All my existence ever did was make people troubled, after all. It was...easier...if I didn't just exist....but after meeting Dawn, and reuniting with you......I tired, but I...couldn't make myself that way again." She hides her face by looking at the ground.

All that time...she didn't trust me. She thought, just like everyone else in her life had, that she was worthless. Someone to throw away once I got bored of being with her.

That hurts. That's the one kind of person I never, ever wanted to be seen as, because I know better than most just how horrible it feels to be thrown away by those who I thought liked me.

The wall between us is going away, even if it hurts so badly to bring it down.

"Serena, if you'd just told me...." I trail off.

"Was I...wrong?" She still looks at the ground.

"Of course you..." I trail off again.

She wasn't. Serena wasn't wrong. It's difficult to force myself to admit this, but I knew trying to deny it is pointless. To me, and to Dawn, she was someone who we tried to protect.

She had become to me what I'd come to my friends after my after heart attack - a broken person. I liked her, possibly even loved her, but I never acted on that precisely because I thought she was so fragile.

"I mean... I don't look at you that way now." I say.

"I got worried about you after what happened to you in class, and I thought I should try to protect you." 

"When you locked yourself in your room, though, I got afraid. I thought you were rejecting me, and it forced me to think about....different things."

"I wasn't rejecting you!" Her head shoots up with tears falling from her eyes.

She blurts it out with an almost scared tone to her voice, taking me off guard. 

She starts clenching her fist and begins working through what she wants to say in her mind.

"I wouldn't ever do that, Not to you....you saved me, Ash...I would never do that. Even though I was scared...even though I tried to push you away...you still tried to get closer to me." I locked myself away because....I was just a burden to you. To Dawn. To everyone. E-every birthday was the same. Everyone doing their best to pretend that I mattered. Everyone pretending everything was all right.... for that one day of the year. I didn't want to exist, but they wouldn't let me. Even after meeting Dawn...everything was the same. I was as useless as I'd always been, unable to do anything for her, or for myself. I didn't want to be the same way...to you." Serena says with tears rolling down her cheek and onto the floor.

Dawn and I were completely wrong. From what she's said, everything we did for her... it would have only made her feel worse. Even what little I thought I had right about her was a complete misjudgement.

"After you locked yourself in your room, I decided to try to work out my past as well, and sort out my future. I didn't know how to deal with things I'd lost by coming to Vaniville, so I was trying to sort them out myself. I thought....it would help us become better friends...if I did that."

Silence hangs in the air again. I try to keep looking at her, but I can. I feel really low, and though I want to apologise...I don't know how I possibly could.

I hear her take a deep breath, and only look back to her after hearing her drop to the ground.

The sound of her crying breaks my heart. I know I'm responsible for this, and I know that I can't do anything to help her. If Serena feels ashamed, then I feel all the more so.

I rush to her as tears continue to roll down her cheeks unabated, wrapping my arms around her. I don't care about how I must look any more. I just want to be close to her right now.

"I'm sorry, Ash...I-I've messed up everything...."

"It's fine. Everything's fine. I'm the one that should be sorry. I was meddling around behind your back, and I never told you anything." I can feel my grip tightening on Serena as my vision blurs. I can't be bothered trying to hold back, now. I have to force my words out as a lump begins to stick in my throat.

"To tell you the truth, Serena... I was scared. For the first time since my heart attack, I was really scared."

"Ash...?" 

"I lost so much when I came to Vaniville. I was... depending on you, more than I ever thought I did. Even now, I still have that hold inside me. After losing my entire life, and everyone I'd know, the thought of losing you, as well..." I cry.

"But I'm just a useless--"

"You're my friend, Serena! You'r--No! You're more than that. I love you, Serena. I love you so much, that the thought of losing you frightened me so much..."

Ah, this is bad... I'm really letting all of this out. I can't bring myself to look at her face right now.

"I'm sorry, Ash....I can't help...feeling a bit happy. For so long... that's what I've wanted ...to hear.." She says.

The last of the floodgates break, the sound of her crying permeating the air as her body jerks against mine. We hold each other tightly, connected more closely than ever in out shared grief, and our shared happiness.

There's no other person in the world that either of us could possibly share these memories and emotions with. Nobody.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dropping the dirtied can into a bin next to the bench, I take a seat beside Serena.

"Have you calmed down a bit?" I ask her.

"Y-yes. Thank you." She smiles.

For a while, we just sit and take our time before talking to one another. We both need a little time to collect ourselves.

"The weather is nice at this time of year." She says.

"Yeah, it is." I respond.

"You know... I don't want to go back to class, right now. Do you?" I question her.

She shakes her head as she finishes wiping her eyes with her cuff. The small smile she gives is nice, and it's a reminder of how earnest it can be.

"I'm sorry. For...everything." She says.

"It's okay. I think we both have a bit to be sorry for." 

"I know that...I'm too shy. I know you don't want me to be, I don't think I can..."

"You can change, Serena. I know that because, even in the time I've known you, you've already changed. To be honest, just being able to sit here and talk to you like this means that you've changed a lot since we first met."

"But....I can't be like that for...anyone else. I don't have any plans for after school ends, either...." She says.

Her confidence begins to slide down again, but I think I know what will bring that back up.

"Why don't you come back to Kanto with me?" I smile at her.

"W-What?" She looks at me.

"Yeah, my Mom and Dad would love to meet you! Don't worry, they'll treat you as if you were their daughter." I smile.

"Y-yeah okay, sure"She smiles, before I get off the bench and dust myself off. She does the same in short measure.

"Y'know...you look really cute with the new style" I scratch my nose and blush.

"T-Thanks, Ash." She blushes heavily.

"Say, I'm kinda hungry. Want to grab something to eat?" 

She nods vigorously. The way she's smiling, the way she's acting, even just the general air she gives off... I feel as if this si the first time I've seen her genuinely happy.

We both make our way onto the street, walking beside each other.

"Ash?" She says.

"Yeah?" I turn to her.

"I...I think...I don't really understand you." She looks at the ground.

"I don't think I understand you, either. I believe that's fine, though." I give her a smile.

As we walk down the street, Serena's eyes flick to my face and back to the street repeatedly.

"Is something on your mind?" I question her actions.

She slows before stopping completely. When I turn to meet her, she takes a long, deep breath, looking at my face intently. This expression...I saw it once before on her face. Just once, when I accidentally surprised her in her room.

"I....I think.... I think I have something...I need to give you." She blushes slightly.

"What is it? You don't need to be evasive about it." I put one hand on my hip and smile at her.

"I wanted to give you this for a long, long time, but now I need to..." She says.

"Awesome, what is it? I'll accept whatever it is." 

She passes me a handkerchief, bashful smile. I remember this exact handkerchief, it's the one I wrapped around her knee. She takes my shoulder in her hand.

"Then, please accept my first gift to you, Ash Ketchum..."

"Serena...?"

She leans in towards me until our lips touch.

That's it for this book! Did you all like it? I'm not going to lie, but I'm going to miss writing this even though it was a pain in the ass. I don't know if I'll do a sequel? Maybe them two heading to Kanto, eh I don't know, but for now, this is the end :), hope you all enjoyed this journey. I love you all! - Pokeamour