Hello everyone, thanks for all your efforts in the last few weeks to critique and bring in new members. It's been lots of fun! I personally got a bump in my rank to #125 due to critiques, so THANKS! I also had outstanding critiques particularly from FreeLove who is up for critique next. I highly recommend you critique his story in the hopes he'll critique yours back. 

Please feel free to invite people into the group. Anyone who refers new members gets 25 points! I do tally these points, I swear! ;)

Okay, up this session: FreeLove with some dark and stormy genre-bending sci-fi and wordsinsilk with his humorous earth exodus adventure. 

One special note about this session: the chapters up for critique are NOT the first chapters of the stories. Previous chapters have already been critiqued. So for an extra 25 points, you can skim read the preceding chapters if you want, and give a hasty critique of those chapters. However, the author wants critiques on the specific chapters identified below. 

Thanks!

wordsinsilk  - 24 Hours, chapters 13-15

Word Count: 6225. Subgenre: Speculative fiction. Highest Rank: #231 in Science Fiction. Graphic sex or violence: yes, a sexual scene. Mild, largely hidden through description.

So first off, what I intend to achieve with this story is having a dystopian scifi that's thrilling but also doesn't feel too dark.

I've tried to lighten the mood through the characters, hence my struggle to keep it together. [The story is about a group of people who leave earth in a generational ship. The first ten chapters follow two main characters in their last hours on earth and boarding the ship]. The chapter's I'm posting are introducing the reader to a time when the ship is about to launch. Also a time when we get to see the main characters together. 

Feel free to skim through or read a few chapters between 1-13. Zak's chapters are very short. 

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FreeLove - Rapture: With Love, chapters 2-5 

Word Count: 9600. Subgenre: Paranormal. Highest Rank: #213 Paranormal. Any graphic sex or violence: Sex: There is a scene in chapter 3 - a lot left to the imagination. Violence: some in chapter 3 and 5 part 2. No graphic sex and minimal violence in these chapters.

As FreeLove and I have discussed already at length in a comment in writing group book, chapter "How it Works" he's having trouble with the fact that his characters perceives advanced technology as "magic" which makes some readers feel the story is paranormal, although it is not. It's just advanced tech that's too difficult for the main character to understand. 

Direction: Firstly, I need a better title, don't really like the current one. Second, how to clarify certain parts of the book (Mainly a small bit in Chapter 3) as not being Magic, we can discuss the greater world/universe if anyone is interested. Maybe fresh eyes can have an idea on this one (I know it's not, but hard to explain it reasonably).

Lastly... I need to rewrite my blurb XD gosh lol.

Okay: Rapture is a dark Paranormal/Sci-Fi adventure taking place in 2012-2013. There is some violence/sex (sex being lightly described) and these characters are not your typical light and hopeful protagonists. After a war that killed off most (if not all) of her kind Clarine Denze appears to be the last one standing, she's also the one blamed for the war in the first place. This allowed a more sinister species known as Hexxen to gain breathing room to experiment with power and world dominion as Clarine's race would previously hunt the Hexxen for sport.

A completely Alien race from a world that uses Earth in a parasitic relationship therefore sends a champion to Earth to figure out what is tipping the balance unfavorably, this champion finds his Anchor with a boy, Neel Ashe. Clarine and Neel eventually get lured together by this Champion and despite being unwanted or unprepared heroes/anti-heroes are tasked with exterminating the Hexxen to save the parasitic world (and Earth in the process). This is of course if they are even worth saving. Rapture is a introductory story to Claine, Neel and their struggle to find out what the Champion wants them to do (as he himself is suicidal to complicate matters and doesn't believe his world worth saving)

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Please leave Observations Reports

To earn your points, you must report back here and leave a comment after you've finished your critique with the main points of your critique. This is called an observation report. This is how I count points. No observation report, no points!

All critiques are worth 25 points. Observation/reader reports are mandatory. They can be long or short (minimum 200 characters). People who participate by commenting on other reports by other critters will be awarded additional points.

Critiquing Reminder

No judgements, only observations. We are all here to help each other succeed in our writing. What isn't your cup of tea will be somebody's feast!

Describe: What's going on? What are you experiencing as you read?

Interpret: What do you think the author was intending? Where do you think it's headed?

Evaluate: Is it working? WHY? (don't forget the 'because' in your criticism. "It's not working because dada-dada-dada." YOU MUST SAY WHY something is or is not working.

Consider: Setting, Plot, Characterisation, Pace, Writing Quality, Dialogue, Theme, etc.

Accepting Criticism Reminder

Be quiet and listen.

Don't defend your writing! Don't respond to negative criticism if you feel upset about it. Take a break and come back to it later. We all have bad days. Don't look at criticism when you're having a bad day.

Appreciate and be grateful to your critics -- they have taken their time to read your writing and give you their thoughts! Remember, they aren't trying to hurt you or take you down. We are all here to help each other succeed in our writing.

IF you feel capable of responding to criticism, then focus on what you've learned from the critique. If you feel comfortable you may try to explain why you did something, and ask for ideas on how you might do it better in the next draft, from their perspective. But again, don't get defensive and start explaining why it's great the way it is. Accept the person didn't see or understand what you were trying to do.

Take what works for you and leave the rest behind.

Have fun!