Hi everyone, 

Here are the April offerings. Please note that there are four (4) stories submitted for feedback. You can choose any of them, and I highly encourage you to try all of them. 

APRIL FEATURED STORIES

ihardison – Escape, Chapters: 1, 3 & 7

Word Count total 8,297 (Each is just under 3000 words), highest rank . Sub genre: ya, dystopian

There is some violence in the book, but none in these chapters and there is zero sex.

DIRECTION FOR FEEDBACK: just honest feedback on whether or not it makes sense. The book is written from different narrative perspectives and the timeline is not entirely linear, so I want to know if I'm losing anybody and where...

As far as what I'm trying to do with this: it's a character development story, and while it is sci-fi-ish/dystopian, the settings and situations are used as a catalyst for character development. I want to be true to the characters and have them grow and change organically. I want to make sure their voices are authentic and the author is largely invisible.Thank you!!!

Holly_Gonzalez - Ruby Descent, Chapter 1 and 2 - ALL PARTS

Wordcount: 9421 words, Highest ranking , Subgenre: Decopunk ('decopunk alternate universe space opera satire', if that isn't a mouthful, lol)

No graphic sex or violence, mild adult language and themes (PG 13)

What I'm trying to do with this story: "Ruby Descent" is meant to be a fun and unique spin on vintage SF tropes. I'm trying to create a nostalgic/historic feel based around aesthetics of the 1920s and 30s, blended with vintage style technology, some cyberpunk, noir (think old silent films like Metropolis), along with a pulp/comic book feel like the classic Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers universes. Some of my own experiences working in the hotel industry also provide inspiration. Unlike the more serious works in this retrofuture series, this is a satire, in which I'm experimenting with wacky and off-the-wall themes, situations, and writing style. Of course there's a heavy dose of fantasy, as we all know riveted rocketships and robotically-enhanced cats aren't exactly feasible tech in our universe. This is an alt universe, so much of what wouldn't work in ours works here.

Feedback: This is the first novel I plan to seriously pitch to agents and publishers, so ANY feedback is golden. I'd love anything you have to say. Please tear it up. Thank you!

JesseSprague - Spider's Game, all of chapters 2, 3 and 4

Word count: 9k, Highest rank: 50, Subgenre/s: Paranormal/ horror.

Graphic sex or violence? Not in these chapters, although outside of these chapters are some disturbing sexual scenes. 

Direction for feedback? I am actually most interested in chapter 4 as it is a brand new chapter. I'd be fine with very light crits of all the others. I only include them for understandings sake. 

Chapter one does not need to be read to understand the following chapters.

My goal in this work is to explore the ideas that interest me in a dark and intriguing way. This is not intended to be a YA work or to appeal to youth.

AayushDas - My Brother From Another Universe, Chapters 1, 2 and 3

Word count 3000. Highest rank 757. Subgenre: Fantasy. No mature content.

Direction for feedback - constructive critique highlighting both good points and bad points.

Note from Shalon: I was pressed for time due to a last minute switcheroo, so I'm going to get more indepth direction from Aayush and put that in the comments. Or if you see this, Aayush, you can write a comment below with a bit more about your story and what you're trying to do. 

**IMPORTANT GROUP INFO**

Critique Points

A critique is worth 25 critique points. To earn your critique points, you must complete two (2) tasks:

1) give at least 3000 characters critique of the featured story, which can be split up however you choose—a comment on each chapter, 30 comments spread throughout, or 2 comments at the very end. Either way, it must equal at least 3000 characters.

2) After you've finished your critique, leave an observation report with your main findings as a comment here on this chapter of the workbook. Please tag the author so they can see your comment.

Please leave your observations reports! This is how I count points. No observation report, no points!

Critiquing Reminder

No judgements, only observations. We are all here to help each other succeed in our writing. What isn't your cup of tea will be somebody's feast!

Describe: What's going on? What are you experiencing as you read?

Interpret: What do you think the author was intending? Where do you think it's headed?

Evaluate: Is it working? WHY? (don't forget the 'because' in your criticism. "It's not working because dada-dada-dada." YOU MUST SAY WHY something is or is not working.

Consider: Setting, Plot, Characterisation, Pace, Writing Quality, Dialogue, Theme, etc.

Accepting Criticism Reminder

Be quiet and listen.

Don't defend your writing! Don't respond to negative criticism if you feel upset about it. Take a break and come back to it later. We all have bad days. Don't look at criticism when you're having a bad day.

Appreciate and be grateful to your critics -- they have taken their time to read your writing and give you their thoughts! Remember, they aren't trying to hurt you or take you down. We are all here to help each other succeed in our writing.

IF you feel capable of responding to criticism, then focus on what you've learned from the critique. If you feel comfortable you may try to explain why you did something, and ask for ideas on how you might do it better in the next draft, from their perspective. But again, don't get defensive and start explaining why it's great the way it is. Accept the person didn't see or understand what you were trying to do.

Take what works for you and leave the rest behind.

Have fun!