IT WAS AN USUAL MONSOON. The drizzling sky poured upon the corridors.

The assembly hall, on the other hand, was a completely different scene. The inter-school cultural fest is around the corner and the hall is buzzing with its plans.

The drama committee set up for an audition is the news! And why wouldn't it be, for all know, it never happens. It's been the same for years now. No matter how good you are, you will never be selected. It will always be the group of those few seniors who will be presenting to the school. Their biggest flex, they represented the school at the national level once! Just once that too three years back.

After that, no one even bothered to conduct an audition. But now they are, they have. These people will be leaving the school in a year and a half, they have to hand it over.

And Amaan Sahani, being the Cultural head of the team, hated it. Omar, his friend cum Captain of the team, was a different tale though. He wasn't as reluctant as Amaan. He wanted the juniors to be involved, he wanted them to do well.

So this time they both had to agree with school authorities, they would be conducting the audition, even if it was just for a show. They knew it, even the students does. But still, they came, buzzing in the line.

And Amaan being the pompous person asks, "What are you all doing here?" His laugh that followed was mocking, but that's not what catches the attention of many, it was the answer that came in return, the voice that was confident, "Last time I checked it was an audition for the drama committee, isn't it obvious why we are here then?"

That voice made Amaan turn on his heels, his eyebrow raised in surprise and the sly smile that covered his lips.

"You are taking what as your major?" His counterquestion was completely different and he wasn't accepting an answer, however, she did give one, "Science."

This time he smiled for real, "Of course, you are after all a major in Arts already."

With that, he walks away inside the green room. The audition ended and as expected, no one got selected. However when everyone was walking, Amaan stood by the gate, his eyes follows and found the girl.

Their eyes collide, and that was the beginning.

The beginning of something that was going to ruin lives.

That July monsoon, when the sky poured upon them, something bloomed in his heart, for the girl who spoke back to him.

The girl who looked into his eyes.

The girl he never knew.

But he will, that's something he promised himself.

---

A SUNDAY MONSOON is something Sahani children hate the most.

Uma Sahani will be fuzzing over one thing or the other, from the leaking pipe to the wet clothes, to the water lodged just outside their main gate, to slippery floors, everything all at once. If anything the morning chores which make it impossible for Amaan to get his rest after a tiring week, were a far dream. But that certainly doesn't make him leave his bed he would rather lie there than be a helping hand. He hated it but more than that he hated his mother's complaints.

Last night he tried to get some sleep, but now that he had been scrolling through his Instagram for an hour or so, his finger itched to tap the blocked list, and he follows his heart.

Back to being the pathetic stalker!

He clicks unblock to the only account that's there and refreshes the feed, the profile comes up with numerous new feeds that were added over the years, and the bio remains the same, "for you a thousand times over."

His heart skips a beat, like always.

The eyes looked back at him through the monochrome photo, last posted four months back. The feed is aesthetic, it simply shows the person she had been all her life.

All her life?
A voice from his head questions back.

His heart laughed a little, painfully. Not all her life but most of it. Most of it when he wasn't a part of it.

For he knows, those five years, she hadn't been herself.

For he knows, those five years, she had given him, it was all them or him but never her.

They were happy.

They were lovers.

He sighs and almost blocked the account again when he saw the post. He gulped and felt his heart in his stomach.

"No, not her." He prayed while clicking the photo, and once it was open, what he felt was quite similar to a heartbreak, just like the one he felt almost eight years ago.

The post where she is smiling with a guy, the post where the guy tagged her with lines, how can one not love this person?

He gulps, the pain, the sorrow and blocks the account again.

He closes his eyes and tried to forget everything. But the memories flashbacks, while trying to cover it all he had pushed open the box of memories.

Memories he promised never to revisit, memories covered in specks of dust.

But a smile covers his lips, the words echo through his mind, how can one not love this one?

_____

On nights my heart stops craving for love but my soul wanders for home.

And then I sit by the window, looking at the Starry canvas letting loneliness engulf me.

Letting my soul know, home is gone.

Home is lost.

Faded.
Shattered.

And it'll never be there.

Ever again. Never again.

Ayesha looks at her writing, her very last piece. Her words left her, just like people did.

It was a usual monsoon Sunday, and she has almost done with her work.

The last suitcase she was yet to unpack was calling her and she so wished she hadn't opened it. But now she had opened the suitcase, the notebook, the memories.

That lavender notebook with page marks falling out of it, the yellow pages, the words, the characters.

A dream she saw once.

A life she planned for them.

A wish that she never had fulfilled.

For her hope was shattered before that.

She smiled, as the words echo in the back of her head.

Everyone used to say, she was meant to be a writer. She even joined the drama team back in school for that. Her plays were a hit, always.
She acted in a few and narrated a ton. That was her domain, narration.

Once she whispered her wish to be a writer, her father laughed at her face killing her a little. Her lover, however, promised her, to be her first publisher. She counted upon it.

They were crazy back then.

They were lovers.

Ayesha always knew their love will be ruining lives.

But that was love.

Love that was theirs.

Only love.

And sometimes love is never enough.

Sometimes we just learn to love someone from afar. And maybe that's better for us, that's enough for us.

For lovers are just vagabonds beloveds their home, and often the latter is lost.

But lovers are fools, they keep on walking, alone, along with the memories, with a neverending heartache and a fragile hope, fading, losing, that perhaps someday beloveds will find their way back and make a home for them, someday they'll find their way back to them, love them too.
Sometimes they know that's not gonna happen, not now, not ever, perhaps lovers are actually fools they hold on to it that hope even after that, that's pretty much the only thing they have left with.

That was them.

She fell for him in his last year of school, she was a high school teenager back then. It was a tale of two decades back, and it didn't change ever since. She had been loved, she loves him still and for an unknown reason, she knows, she will be loving him for an eternity.

This is something that hadn't changed ever since then.

She had though.

She had been the lover never leaving his side, always nagging him, for five long summers.
She had been the toxic ex trying to get him back in her life even after two years of breakup.
She had been the stalker texting him, mailing him in places she knew he will never check.

Then life happened.

After almost five years of their breakup. A decade of being his lover, and half a decade of getting her heart broken by him and losing her home.

The reality hit her.

She realized, even though she is in love, that person is not hers anymore. So one day she realised that no matter what and how important a person is/was to you, if he's a part of just the past, it's never gonna be a part of the present, never.

For they were not kids anymore, life has changed and this time, she chose to walk away. Even if a part of her will be holding on to the memories till eternity, life moves on.

And it isn't a fairytale.

Letting go of a person is a wise choice, especially when he isn't yours to hold onto.

So as the sky is pouring, much like the day they met as teenagers, she bid him farewell, through the breezes, in the hope that it will carry those to him. Not to the memories thou, never to the hope.

The last one might be a lie, but for her better than the bitter truth.

When she left this city then, she was looking for happiness. And it would be a lie to say she didn't get it.

She did.

She found happiness. And this time she found it in people around her. People who valued her, people who loved her. She found it in him.

Kabeer.

A lone tear falls from her eyes.

The wounds hadn't been healed yet. The wounds he left behind. She blinks, once, twice until it's gone.

And then when she opens it back, her eyes clash with the eyes looking at her already through the open verandah. From the balcony next door.

The rain is pouring, and so are the memories.

And she gulps the memories, the tears.

She had waited for him, she had prayed for him to the stars.
Like he had done.

He had walked upon them. He had crashed her heart.
Like she had done.

Those who knew them individually will always say, they don't deserve each other, they would blame the other party for ruining a life. Their lives.

But they?

They won't be doing that. They couldn't.

For they knew the truth.

The truth is that whatever happened that made them stand on the opposite sides today, that made them strangers from lovers today, was their fault.

They were lovers. But love was not enough.

One was too controlling, and one was too naive.

One crossed a line, and one left without giving a chance.

One was doing just fine for two years after the breakup, and one out of nowhere texted him back.

One broke her heart again with his words, and one promised to never look back ever again.

One was him, and one was her.

That was their love.

But one thing they both knew, one after trying, one without a blink, that love will always be there, hidden, covered, always profound, always from afar.

Just like now.

Because they fail to understand, how can it be possible that loving someone is the easiest thing known to us, something that comes naturally and unloving them is not even a thing for us, not even an option. Just like for them, it wasn't.

They got a past. But now the present is different, so much has changed.

They had.

But what's the tale of heartbreak this time?

That's the question still not answered.

Author's note

Hey guys, I'm so sorry for not updating anything. If you are still reading my work, I'll be glad. I honestly don't deserve that.

But I'll thank you with all my heart. I wrote my final semester exam last week and yesterday sat for my Viva.

Life has been hard. But I decided to give myself a month break and here I am updating.

I will try to wrap up atleast this story before I go missing again, which is all I can do ATM as this book is only 10 chapters and only eight more to go.

I hope y'all are doing fine?

Eid Mubarak to all those who are celebrating.

Read. Comment and Share.

Much love
Kefimysa.