THE NIGHT HAS FALLEN. The premises of The Bakshi residence has been engulfed in eerie silence. The red-walled house with vast green yards and a lake by the side.

A silence that has been familiar for the walls over the years, of the voids that scream a yearning. A yearning to feel like home again. Perhaps that was lost.

Years ago or in between the times that followed. But somewhere maybe it's just scattered around everywhere. Lalima Bakshi can't point out where but somewhere around.

She walks through the open corridor, her eyes stopping at the verandah, at the two empty chairs.

The figures form in front of eyes, one sitting on the floor by the wooden bench, eating those onion fritters with so much concentration, two seating on that bench talking about the book they read recently, the faint tint on their faces tells another tale.

The figures leaning to the black railings, the shoulders touching each other and smile never leaving those faces eyes shining with happiness.

And Lalima takes an instinctive step towards them and it all fades away into the specks of dust, gone, again. Her eyes suddenly burn with a known pain and she steps back.

"This place doesn't feel like home anymore." Mohua's voice from behind leaves a sad smile on her face.

"Home is gone the moment our children lost their way back. They are gone so is the feeling." She says turning towards her. Mohua's face explicates the same story as hers, worry and grief.

The talk they have about Kuheli and Sidharth just a few hours back has taken a troll upon them. They are worried, tired and everything that mothers would be when their son straight away denied to talk about the marriage topic. And here theirs were not even ready to listen to them, to even sit with them.

"But I still believe," Lalima smiles looking at Mohua and holding her hand in her palm, she continues, "they will find their way back, someday." Mohua nodded, they have hope in them, nothing but that.

"I should go now, Sujoy is not feeling and you know him right he gets angry too soon," Mohua said and Lalima just smiles sadly.

All the life she had lived in this house, she had witnessed the men all same in one way or another. Some patriarchal others misogynist and some both. Her husband Durjoy Bakshi and brother in law, Sujoy Bakshi were the middle ones.

They always imposed their decisions upon others, always having power over them. But that changed, and she was glad it did with her son.

Sometimes she feels maybe that's the reason why Sidharth doesn't want to marry. Her son never liked the norms of society. But then again, she is just another mother looking out for her son.

The lone figure walking on the vast lawn in the backyard catches her eyes. So lonely yet he refused to be with someone. She shakes her head and walks inside.

The night has fallen, her husband has another hearing tomorrow.

Maybe someday when everything will come around, she will take a long break and go back to her hometown, Shantiniketan. There she will live with her poetry books and will sing songs. Maybe someday. Maybe.

That's just another of her wishes, perhaps the only wish she has for herself.

_____

THE SILENCE that engulfs the house is quite opposite of his chaotic mind right now. Sidharth is not someone to lose his calm, to fret over things or to let his mind lose peace. He, surely, is not someone to show this all upon the lines on his forehead.

But right now it's here. And it's always been this way for her, for Kuhu.

Kuheli Ghosh was not just an old friend, not just a college mate, or not just someone known to him. She was his closest friend, one of the two people closest to him, his family. She has been a part of his life, his home, his heart.

But that seems like ages before. He always thought time will heal scars but it was recently he is coming with terms, time doesn't heal. Time just help us to put a cover on those scars, they don't heal them.

It should be you healing your scars, and here he is, never even looking at those. And it's him feeling like this, what about her? Even at the thought of it, his furrow deepens.

The person always standing behind him every time he had walked away, always waiting for him when he had just left her to yearn for something that was supposed to be hers, to begin with. And with what happened today in the parking lot, when he saw her with Mohua, it pained a little more than before.

She was the same with everyone, still trying to be the same but because of him, she is losing a lot. And it's not only about her heart.

He closed his eyes and takes out his phone. Before dialling the known number he clears his throat once. Three rings later she picks it up, the other side of the line is greeted with silence.

"Kuhu?" He calls her name and heard a sigh in reply.

"You haven't slept?" She asked a moment later and that leaves a smile on his face.

"I was just having a walk around."

"At midnight?" She sounded amused and he furrows.

"And what's wrong with that? Don't you do that as well?"

"Well, everything when you are not a night owl. And I am never an early bird." She said almost immediately and he laughs. She knows him way too much.

"Good to know you still remembered that." He said and the next moment he regrets, he shouldn't have.

"There's nothing about you I intend to forget, not now, not ever." Her voice was raw, and that made him close his eyes.

"I am sorry. Didn't mean to hurt you"

"I am used to it now." He felt her words stabbing him hard.

"I called you for something"

"I guessed that by now. So what is it?"

"About today?"

"What about it?"

"If you want I can come over and have a word with Ashis Kaku. I want him to know that he is not wrong. He has never been.."

"Sometimes I feel you should really come over and settle down here with him and I would live over your place. And trust me that would solve more than half of our problems." She said cutting him halfway and startled.

"I..."

"But unfortunately that can't happen. And about him saying sorry or anything, don't fret, you know him. He is fine. I am more worried about Lalima Kakima, I was planning to call her."

"Well I won't ask you to, but I know she was missing you a lot these days."

"You don't want me to call her?"

"I don't want her to say something that will hurt you more than you are already."

"So you know that I am hurt?"

"Kuhu I never wanted to hurt you. You are someone I care about and you are a... family to me. But ..." He stops there.

At a but, he has nothing to say after this, like always. She does, she spoke words that pierced through his heart leaving his soul bleed.

"But it's not your fault that you can't love me." Her voice was dull but strong.

"Kuhu" He calls her silently asking her to stop there but she didn't.

"But you know what Sidharth."

"What?"
He whispered slowly closing his eyes, hoping for her not to say it but she did and he found his breath creased then and there.

"I can love you even if you don't want me to."

________

THE MORNING breezes with a little mist in them, and the perfect start for the day must be a good run. Sheuli checked again on Sebanti keeping a note to return back by 7 AM max. An hour run will be just fine for her.

Tieing her shoes and tightening her long hair in a pony, she makes her way out jogging all the way to the CR Park.

As she takes her second lapse her mind wanders back to her Kolkata day.

Early morning runs were never her thing back then, but sometimes she used to go with her father to Sarovar after they shifted to Gol Park from Bagbazar.

The calm lake of Sarovar somehow helped her to breathe. But sometimes, the by lanes of Bidhan Sarani comes up blurring her vision.

The red walls, the alleys, the chai er dokaan, and the memories she had with them. Often she feels that maybe when she will pass the alley next, someone will again call her up to have a chai adda.

Maybe this time they will start with a new theatre play Taray Taray and how Anjan Dutt just nailed as Van Gogh he would say he will pass the message to Anjan Da the next time he met with him at the coffee house then or the new policies SFI's are thinking of, or the latest protest going on Presidency and how he would come back late again.

Then she would tell him about the joint protest allay her university planned and how she is hoping to join that, he would then light a cigarette and offer her a puff after taking one, she would smile taking it and continue to smoke while moving from the topic to the last book she read, and that morning adda will continue till 8 then she would rush back for she would be getting late for college, and buses to Park Circus is always a mess. He would just tease her with the name of nerdy Brabounite.

Or they will just start with the Pujo planning and how she must wear a red saree on Asthami as he already bought a red Panjabi, she would laugh telling him she already knows and then planned to go to ghat on Mahalaya and that would keep going on and on.

A long sigh left her lips as she gulps blinking those unshed tears.

The breezes pass and she smiles, autumn is coming soon.

Sharodiya Asche.

She takes a seat after the third lapse on the bench and smiles.

All her maybes were lost into the thick air of memories on the by lanes.

"Didn't think of you as a jogging person." A sudden voice startled her and she looks up only to put on a smile.

"Why do you always come up like this? Out of nowhere." She said shifting a little on her seat making a place for him to a seat.

His drenched T-shirt and sweated forehead say he must be here for long.

"Why are you always lost somewhere whenever I find you?" He teased while sitting then drinking water from his skipper.

"I wasn't lost. You came out of nowhere Abeer" She shakes her head laughing.

"Liar," He says with a smile making her lose hers.

"How are you so sure about it?" She frowns.

"Just know it Sheuli. Maybe you can say I read people's minds"

"And that's a lie we both know"

"Then I will just say it's a tiny peal drop on your left lashes which certainly is not sweating as you just damped your face provided your dry forehead and cupid's bow." She was shocked then laughed it out.

"A part of training?"

"You can say that" He laughs too.

"I was just thinking about Kolkata." She said looking ahead.

"No doubt Maa loves you so much." He laughs shaking his head.

"Well most of the time I and Kakimaa would be talking about you or how you don't read books or just don't know Kolkata lanes, so I doubt that."

"That's just complaining about me being not her ideal son" He laughs and she joins him.

After a few minutes of silence, he started again, "So Sheuli, where do to live in Kolkata?"

"We shifted to Gol Park a few years back before that I mostly spend my life in Bidhan Sarani"

"Wait by any chance are you from The Bakshi family? The one with the traditional Durga puja?"

"Yes," She laughs out loud at the way he said it as if that's some royal.

"Why? Like no offence but ain't there's a thing for North Kolkata, Maa used to say all the time, one who grew up in North Kolkata can never love the South lanes."

"She is not wrong though but Gol Park is near to Park Circus and it helped with my studies and Maa's posting in Exide. They shifted back though once I came here." She said with a smile swiftly missing a little detail, he surely doesn't need to know.

"I see." He said nodding his head then said, "We have two places and I guess a few native places too but I don't really know about them. Baba's house is on Ballygunge Circular road I mostly live there whenever I visit Kolkata and Maa's place is in Taratala."

"I know Kakima told me, I visited your Taratala house once during Puja when I went to Rashmoni bari."

"I went to Nimta too for Baba's cremation and all, he wished for that."

"I am sorry for your loss," She said looking at him letting him know of her sincerity.

He smiles at her shaking his head, "That's fine, I remember him as the happiest man. The Best father you know. I don't feel him gone sometimes, he left his dream his passion with me. This life I'm leading is all because of him, his memories. You know when I sat in my class I sometimes feel him there for he used to seat at the same bench once."

"He must be so proud of you" She smiles looking at his shining eyes, his passion for his job is nearly showing there, his love for his father is evident there.

"I hope so" He smiles.

"So what do you love about Delhi?" She asked changing the topic.

"Everything. Delhi is home Yaar, how can one don't like anything about home? I was born here, I grew up playing on the streets of CR Park. I studied in Army Public, Delhi Cantt then attended St Stephen's so you can say I spend all my life here only. When I cleared my AFCAT three years ago I then went to Dehradun Base."

"Must be an amazing life right? Like flying and..." He cuts her off.

"Amazing well it's more than that. All my life I wanted to fly and now I am doing that. I grew up listening to Kargil War stories and now I going to be part of Defense, going to serve my country as my father did. This is the life I dreamt of Sheuli, it feels surreal sometimes."

"I will wish you all the best." She smiles and he smiles too. Their smiles shining along with the soft rays of the morning sun.

"We should head back?"

"Yeah it's almost time, Kakima has an early morning medicine too." She said as she stands up and he does the same dusting off his trousers then they slowly walk back.

What they miss is the shy smiles and butterflies of a certain man what they gain is the comfort in each other's company.
Sheuli is surely making Abeer's heart bloom but the fragrance is yet to fill his heart, but that can wait, that has too.

Khwaabon se raste sajaane to do
Yaadon ko dil mein basaane to do

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So to begin with whoever is reading this, I thank you. This story is the closest to heart. The Kolkata parts you get here is a part of the life I lived. And then Delhi is just, well it feels home too.

If anyone from Kolkata or anyone with any idea of that place is reading, comment guys.

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Till next time, much love, Kefimysa.