Brynn

I'm starting to believe that it is impossible to stay away from Cgc. I tried, I really did.

After that conversation I had with Lauren at the game on Saturday, I realized something. Cgc's feelings for me grew because we spend so much of our free time together. I didn't fall for him because well, I've been wired differently ever since my ex-boyfriend and I broke up. I have no intentions of ever falling for another person, nor do I choose to look at any relationship I have with any male as anything more than platonic.

I somehow thought that Cgc would be the same as me. We've talked about relationships before and he's told me he hasn't had one simply because he does not want one. Never in one thousand eons did I believe that I would be the person to. . change his mind. I don't even know if that's exactly what I did. He just wanted to kiss me right? He never mentioned anything about dating. Well. . .

That day we talked after he tried to kiss me, he did tell me that if I ever decided to open my heart up again to come to him. I told him I would and I meant that. There isn't any other guy I know who I would want to take that chance with. Cgc makes me comfortable and he's patient with me. Plus I can't ever deny that he's insanely gorgeous. He's also a very good listener. I mean what more could I want. Right?

"Brynn!" Cgc says, his voice a little louder. I flinch slightly, breaking out of my thoughts. He chuckles and points toward my computer. I turn to look at my screen. "You were in a daze but you only have ten minutes left," he says. My eyes widen at the screen. I'm barely on question five out of twenty on this practice quiz. I turn back to him, clearing my throat. "What the hell was I looking at?" I ask him. A small smirk creeps onto his lips. "Me," he replies.

My cheeks flush at that. Was I really? Well, I was thinking about him, but not in that way! I'm sure he knows that. "Sorry, I was thinking about some. . . family stuff," I lie. He nods, tapping his pen against the table. "It's alright. Finish your quiz," he says, motioning his head toward my computer screen again. I nod, focusing back on the question in front of me. Midterms are around the corner so Cgc and I decided to study together. We don't take any of the same courses but we enjoy the time we spend together, even if it's just sitting down and doing our own things.

Oh no.

Am I overreacting now? I'm starting to question every single little thing that we do together. I was going to cancel when he asked me to meet him in the student lounge to study but my fingers typed 'yes' in the message box before I could even process it. I shake my head to get out of my thoughts once again and shift my attention back to the practice quiz. I use the rest of my ten minutes wisely, reading the questions as thoroughly as I can and answering them to the best of my ability.

My final score was an 83%. I could have done better if I didn't get so distracted earlier. I move on to the next course, this one focuses heavily on Bio-Chem, my major. I'm finally graduating from college in a couple of months and I need to find a stable job. Although I don't know what that may be yet, I hope it's something I enjoy. I haven't thought that far ahead because I don't know whether or not I'm staying in Oak Hill after graduation. The plan was to stay here since I just moved back and my parents and little sister live here, but I don't know. Everything is still blurry.

"This review is difficult," Cgc says. He looks down at his papered review, dark brows pulled together in thought. He scans his book for an answer but sighs. "What class is this?" I ask, setting down my pencil. "Guess," he says. Logistics. The class that stresses him out the most, is the one his father was hard on him for when he was getting a B. "Email your professor for help," I suggest. He shakes his head, not looking at me. "It's fine, I got it," he says.

I see that he's on question thirty-one of his review but there are still two more stapled papers behind the one he's working on. My work is all online but none of it has to be turned in unlike his. If he finishes this review, his professor promised extra points on the exam. He said he needed them just in case so he's been working on only this review all night. It's already inching eleven pm.

I'm about to say something when my phone rings on the table. I press the volume button to get it to stop ringing before even glancing at the screen. The ten-digit number on my screen is unfamiliar to me but it says the caller ID is from Miami, Florida. "Who is it?" Cgc asks next to me when he notices I haven't answered. I press the power button on my phone and the call hangs up. "I don't recognize the number," I say with a shrug. He nods and returns his focus back to his review. A couple of seconds later, my phone screen lights up again.

It's a message from that same number.

(305) 555-3790: Brynn Danvers.

My heart begins to beat fast at the words on the screen. I unlock my phone and immediately block the number. It can't be any of my old friends from Florida since I have all of their numbers still saved on my phone. I'm very curious as to who's trying to reach out but terrified at the same time. I rather not associate myself with that state anymore. I moved back to California for a reason. I needed to get away.

I put my phone away in my backpack in hopes that I'm not called by another random number. I can hear my mind working to figure out who could be texting me but no answer comes to mind. "I'll be right back," I tell Cgc. He looks at me for a moment and nods. I grab my phone from the inside of my bag and walk outside. The California air is hot as usual even in the mid of night. I unlock my phone and scroll through my contacts until I find Jess' number. My best friend from Miami.

I haven't talked to her in a while either and I fiercely regret it. I miss her. She's the only good thing I left behind. Only she moved to Boston with her boyfriend this year. She graduated this past May. The line clicks after a couple of rings. "B?" Jess' voice is groggy like she just woke up. I instantly feel bad remembering the time difference of three hours. Miami and Boston share the same time zone but I'm on the west coast now. "Shit, I'll call you tomorrow. I'm sorry, Jess, I forgot it was late for you," I say apologetically.

I hear shuffling from her side of the line before she speaks again. "Hey, no, it's fine. What's up?" she asks. I hesitate even bothering her. "I was studying right now and I got a call. I didn't recognize the number but it was from Miami, I was wondering if maybe you could check your contact list to see if you have it?" I ask, tapping my Nike against the concrete. Jess was always more popular than I was, so maybe she can figure out who this number belongs to. "Yeah, what it is?" she asks. I send her the number through message.

"No. I don't have this number saved, sorry B. Do you want me to try calling it?" she asks. I shake my head even though she can't see me. "No! It's fine, Jess. I was just a little curious but it's nothing major. Don't worry about it," I half-lie. I'm kind of disappointed I didn't find the culprit of the call and message, but I'll live. "You sure?" she says. "Yeah. Thanks anyway," I pause for a second "and I miss you," I add. "I miss you too. How's Oak Hill?" I can't see her but I know she's smiling.

"It's going really good actually. I missed it here," I say honestly. "I'm so happy you're actually enjoying it. It's what I wanted for you," she says and I know she means it. She was always my number one defender slash supporter throughout college until she graduated and I moved. "We need to catch up again when it's not one in the morning for you. Talk soon?" I say hopefully. "Yes. Of course. Love you, B. Call or text whenever!" she says. "You too, Jess. Talk soon," I say before hanging up. I shove my phone into the pocket of my tights.

Cgc is looking towards the doors when I walk back inside. "Everything alright?" he asks this time. I nod quickly and give him a reassuring smile. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out, thinking it's Jess. But it's not.

Rip: sister, i am completely shit-faced and fucked up any shot i have at winning gianinna back.

I smile at the text. My brother is so dumb. Gianinna is his girlfriend. Or should I say, ex-girlfriend. They've been on and off since his freshman year of college. My family has met her before and she's really nice and extremely gorgeous. How she ended up with my brother, I have no idea.

Me: too bad. leave gia alone ass.

I'd never take her side unless my brother fucked up and well, he did. I don't know what he did tonight but he messed up a couple of months ago when he kept blowing her off to go party with his friends.

Rip: you fucking suck. i hope you fail all your midterms. loser.

Me: boo. karma is a bitch, little bro!

Rip: brother**** gn

I smile again before locking my phone. Ripley has a weird obsession with us calling him 'brother'. He claims the word 'bro' and 'sis' is for idiots. His words, not mine. So, he won't ever call me or Kennedy anything but 'sister'. He hates when we call him 'bro' so he makes us call him brother. He's very complicated, but we don't question him. He's our complicated.

"You're famous tonight, Brynn Danvers," Cgc says. I smile and pull my loose hair into a low pony. "It was my brother. He's drunk. I might have to call Jess and tell her to check up on him," I tell Cgc. He knows about Jess as I've told him about her a couple of times. Luckily, my little brother goes to school in Boston where my best friend happens to live. She keeps an eye out on him sometimes which eases my mind. "He okay?" Cgc asks, flipping the page in his review. I nod and start a new practice quiz.

"Us Danvers are always fine. So, yes," I say although it's not entirely true. At least not in my case. He sets down his pen and turns his body a bit more towards me in his chair. "You know I need to meet this Ripley. He sounds fun," Cgc says with a smirk on his lips. I can't help but smile. "He is. He's also the biggest idiot. Maybe if you stick around for Thanksgiving break, the three of us can hang out," I say with a shrug. His dark brows pull together. "Who said you were invited?" he teases. I know he's playing with me.

I fake a gasp and put a hand on my heart. "Okay, then. Go score another Danvers as your best friend," I say. He laughs, "Invite your sister too. She seems cooler than you." Kennedy is cooler than me at seventeen. He's not wrong there. "Hmmm. I don't think I want to compete for the position as the best Danvers. I would sadly lose," I joke. He turns his body back towards the table and shakes his head. "You don't need to compete for anything. You're my Brynn. Nothings changing that," he says. His blue eyes somehow soften when they meet mine again.

Crap. No, that's not good. I shouldn't have come tonight.

"C," I start. "No," he stops me immediately. "That was inappropriate, I'm sorry," he apologizes. I want to tell him not to apologize because I'm an asshole who can't seem to feel anything for anyone anymore because she was hurt in the past. Because let's be honest, that's the only reason I haven't given myself completely to this guy. It's why my heart hasn't allowed me to open myself up to the possible feeling of love. Love is so foreign to me now.

But when I look at the man in front of me. . .

"It was very inappropriate," he adds. "Okay." Okay? Really? That's all I could say? He nods once before turning back to his paper. I don't want to lose Cgc, I don't. After all these years, I met someone who finally likes me. Someone who is patient with me and doesn't just throw me away because of the exact way I am. Someone who is a once-in-a-lifetime friend. But I can't continue to be his friend when I'm aware of these feelings I know he has for me. So, although I'm selfish and can't just push him out of my life completely, I'm going to help him move on.

I clear my throat. "So. You and Lauren?" I ask. I almost cringe at the sound of their names next to each other in that context. Cgc and Lauren.

I know nothing is happening there since Lauren just admitted to me yesterday that she has a thing for Aiyden Johnson. But maybe I can push her to give Cgc a chance. They've already built the friendship part of a relationship and Cgc is a way better guy for her. She deserves someone like him and him like her. They could be perfect together.

Cgc furrows his brows at this. "What about me and Lauren?" he asks. I plaster on a fake smile and push his arm gently with mine. "I saw you checking her out yesterday," I say. This is true, they checked each other out right in front of my face. "I didn't know you guys were hooking up again," I add, knowing this is completely false. Cgc laughs. "We're doing nothing of the sort," he replies. "Well, you should. She likes you, you know," I tell him. He turns to look at me with a frown. Ugh. Is this not working?

"I'm sure I'd know if Lauren Jones liked me again. We just throw small flirtatious comments at each other sometimes, it's nothing like that, I assure you," he tells me. "So if she wanted to hook up you'd say no?" I say a little too forward for my own liking but, oh well. "Uhhh," he stutters. I smile and point a finger at him before he can say actual words. "Aha, exactly!" I say with a goofy grin. "Brynn, do not try and hook me up with Lauren, please. Save your energy," he retorts. I frown this time. "Why? Laur needs someone like you," I admit.

"Someone like me. Not me," he says sternly. "Could also be you since you're like you," I say, making absolutely no sense even to myself. He looks, confusion crossing his features. I shake my head quickly. "Just. . . forget I said anything," I say, turning back to my laptop. After a couple of seconds, he shuts his textbook and stands up. I look at him and he looks down at me. "I'm gonna call it a night," he says, picking up his textbook and papers which was the only things he brought with him. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. "I'll see you," he says before leaving.

I watch him go through the double doors he came through and don't turn back around until he's completely out of my view. As time passes, I've realized that I've been able to read Cgc better even when not one ounce of emotions cross his face. He's upset. I know that for sure. I just don't know the exact reason why at the moment.