After leaving Dumbledore's office, Draco felt a lot lighter. Funnily enough, he was headed upstairs towards the Gryffindor tower instead of the dungeons. The reason for that was simple, Potter had insisted. And who was Draco to deny the golden boy? Besides, he wanted to know how well Potter had faired during his first ever attempt at occlumency.

Once he reached, or rather found the portrait with the lady on it, he asked her to call someone to let him in. She didn't seem to enjoy that very much.

"I will NOT let a SLYTHERIN into the Gryffindor common room!" She shrieked at him, hand thrown over her heart as if she had never in her life felt this insulted.

Draco knew exactly how she felt. "Please, I was invited." He rolled his eyes at her. "If you don't believe me, please call for someone inside to let me in."

Thankfully, Draco was spared the argument (although not the curses), when Hermione Granger opened the frame from inside the tower. "Draco!" She grinned. "There you are! We've been waiting for you!"

"How did you know I was here?" Draco frowned.

Hermione bit her lip. "Oh, just a hunch." Then she stepped aside to let him in. In the meantime, she had to fight off another argument with the portrait. Had the woman been that hostile towards him last time too? Draco couldn't remember.

"Finally!," greeted him Ron's impatient voice, once he'd made his way inside the bloody room. "We've been waiting for you! Harry refused to tell us anything without you here!"

His smile was contagious, Draco thought. Awfully so. Draco offered a smile of his own and sat down with them close to the fire. Hermione settled next to Ronald. Somewhere on the other side of the room, people were whispering and pointing in his direction. It was almost shocking how little people seemed to care. After all, his tie clashed fabulously with the rest of the interior design. He decided to sit next to Potter on the bigger couch. As Potter positively beamed at him, Draco instantly regretted his decision.

"Draco! How did it go? What did Dumbledore say? Please tell me I don't have to go back to Snape!" Oh, what Potter was expressing was hope. Draco would probably feel just as relieved if someone had offered him an alternative to Bellatrix's teachings.

"He gave me permission," Draco confirmed, hoping that he didn't have to explain anything further.

Ronald's expression twisted comically. "He did?" Like he hadn't expected Draco to come back with results. To be fair, Draco hadn't expected very fruitful results either, and HE'D had gone to Dumbledore with a plan.

Granger rolled her eyes. "Of course he did, Ron. Dumbledore is a very reasonable man."

Draco blinked. "Yeah. He responds well to bribes." That was neither a joke nor a lie, so Draco raised both brows when Granger huffed in annoyance, while both Ronald and Potter laughed at him.

Potter let out a long breath. "Thank god! No clue how you did it, but I'm so glad, not gonna lie." he finally said, still looking very happy for someone who had just had his mind ripped open by a man he allegedly hated. "I mean, you warned me that it would be invasive. I thought I was prepared, really. But i've never felt more hated than I did with Snape." The dam had broken and so Potter began telling them everything that Severus had seen and how Potter had felt in the process. And yes... everything...

That meant from Snape seeing Potter being chased by a small terrier dog to his first kiss with Cho Chang. Draco felt his mind reeling at the mere fact that Potter just... told them all that, even more than it did about what he was telling them about in itself.

Harry didn't seem to notice Draco's struggles."You were right, by the way. Focussing on my surroundings did help me pull out of it. At least one time."

Draco would probably be flattered if he wasn't so baffled. Just how close was Potter with his friends that he didn't feel the need to hide his deepest and most private thoughts? Draco couldn't imagine telling Vincent and Gregory any of his dreams. He hadn't even managed to talk about it with his own wife, not even the fun dreams! (Okay, to be fair, he had talked a little about his worst memories with Neville but that was different. Draco was aware of the repercussions for being vulnerable, with Neville it felt like he was paying reparations for his past life. But simply sharing his mind with friends? Draco couldn't fathom that in the slightest.)

Perhaps, Draco thought, this explained why it was so much easier for Draco to grasp occlumency than it had been for past Potter. Potter had adopted the philosophy that he had nothing to hide and was therefore save. Which couldn't be further from the truth.

"Hold on one minute," Draco still needed a moment to process all that. The whole story caught up to him belatedly. "You're going out with CHO CHANG? Diggory's Cho Chang?" He didn't remember THAT from his past life. What the hell? How had DRACO of all people not noticed? All these years of academy training wasted!

Three pairs of eyes focused on him.

"You didn't know?," asked Granger. In the meantime, Potter went pink. Weasley just snorted. "Harry, I thought you told him!"

"I didn't think he cared!," Potter exclaimed, ears red as though he somehow felt the need to be embarrassed. As if there hadn't been a reason before. Potter mumbled something unintelligible that sounded like, "It wasn't a secret," and "I thought he'd figure it out." Which were both completely fair assessments and also disturbingly wrong.

"Well yeah, I don't care," confirmed Draco way too exasperated. "Usually I wouldn't anyway. But seriously... Cho Chang? You guys have NOTHING in common!"

Potter pouted, fire flickering in his green eyes. "Of course we do! We both play Quidditch! We're both Seekers!"

Okay, no. They were so not going THERE. "No. NO, Potter. THAT's OUR thing. You and I are both Seekers. RIVAL seekers. Cho Chang is just a Ravenclaw who happens to play in the same position." The audacity!

"I don't see the difference. Except that you quit!," Potter muttered, flushing further as he crossed his arms.

Draco blinked. This conversation was headed in a very wrong direction. "Look, my point is that I don't think Chang should be dating anyone at the moment. You know what she went through last year."

"Not you too," Potter groaned and rolled his eyes towards the ceiling.

Questioningly, Draco tilted his head, until Granger offered the explanation. Though, to be fair, only in the form of criticising Potter. "I didn't say you you shouldn't date her. I said she's going through a lot because of Cedric. She feels guilty for the feelings she has for you, because she still has feelings for Cedric. And because you were there when he died. She is in a complicated situation right now, with all the -"

"No, she isn't." Draco interrupted Granger's double-defence, making her and Potter both turn to him. Granger looked angrier than she had when Draco used to call her 'mudblood',which was saying something. Before she could ridicule him, however, Draco hurried to explain: "At least not when it comes to dating Potter. She liked Cedric last year. He died. She's not over him and Potter will remind her of his death every time she sees him. Whether or not she likes Potter doesn't matter, it's a horrible foundation for a relationship. She needs to move on before she even attempts to start something serious."

"And you know so much about relationships!," Potter retorted. "It's not like YOU ever dated anyone in the last few years!" Draco had done it, Potter was hurt.

And that, in turn, pissed Draco off. "That's because I've been engaged to Astoria Greengrass since I was nine. I don't see the point in dating." Technically, Draco had been married to her for a couple of years now. But that would be harder to explain.

Never the less, he received disturbed stares.

Hold on a second... "What? You can't tell me you didn't know purebloods tend to have arranged marriages, right? Astoria and I meet once a year at my parents house to establish that we're not going to kill each other. And after graduation, it will be marriage, an heir and that's it."

Especially Potter's jaw was wide open now. "And THAT makes you think you're an expert on relationships?"

Draco frowned. "Yes, Potter, it does make me understand things that emotion driven people like you don't." Technically, he had learned this through his therapy books and lots and lots of reconsideration before and after his inevitable marriage.

He still had to admit that he was kind of winging this conversation. He didn't have a Ph. D. and what he used to do had been considered an experiment by the ministry, and an unnecessary nuisance by St. Mungo's. "Relationships and feelings are separate things, Potter. People who are in love are not necessarily good for each other. Sometimes, the opposite is true. I may not love Astoria Greengrass but we have similar backgrounds. We have the same responsibilities and we both aspire to please our parents' expectations to continue the bloodline. The foundation of that relationship may not be build on emotions, but it's rooted in the same goals, expectations and mutual respect. It's a solid foundation, something that wavering and constantly changing emotions are not."

"Well... I -," Potter fought with his words. "I do respect Cho. And she respects me too."

Draco took a deep breath. Why had this discussion become an argument on whether or not Potter was going to keep dating Chang? Potter could do whatever the hell he wanted. Draco just thought the relationship was doomed to fail! At least, if they continued the way they did. But maybe that was the whole point. Maybe, Draco should be helping them, rather than complaining about problems that weren't even his own. He took a deep breath. "Say, Potter, what is the basis of your relationship? What do you have in common? What are your common goals? What does she expect from you, what do you expect from her? I'll admit I'm wrong if you have answers to these questions."

Potter opened his mouth, then closed it. "Well... I'm still working that out!"

Draco huffed out an annoyed breath. "You should. Because right now, the foundation of your relationship is Diggory's death." Yeah, it was harsh, but it was also the truth.

"I liked her way before that!," Potter snapped. "And I know she kind of liked me then, too."

Draco shook his head, not believing how naïve Potter was being. "So... she chose Diggory because she liked you?"

"STOP talking about Diggory! It's complicated!," Potter had been driven into a corner and he behaved as such.

It was Draco's fault, whether he had intended it or not. he took a deep breath and gave Potter a bit of a break before he continued, somewhat calmer. "What I'm saying, Potter, is that she chose Cedric back then, despite having feelings for you. Now that Cedric is dead, she's clinging to you on default. She is hoping for you to help her through her loss. You're a rebound. That isn't fair to either of you!"

Potter sat back, facing him head on while crossing his arms. "So what? You want me to break up with her?"

Draco stared at him, and for a moment, he wondered if Potter would do it if he told him to. "No." He paused, slightly shivering. "I just want you to be fully aware of the situation before you get your heart broken. If all she does is talk about Cedric, then she's not into you for you but because of the memories you keep alive."

That must have hit its mark. Potter looked down with a troubled expression. Draco had the vague feeling that there was something else there. On the one hand, Potter was gritting his teeth, angry that his feelings were criticised like that. On the other, he seemed oddly distracted, as if conflicted by something else. For once, Draco could not tell what it was and he didn't feel like he should pry.

Granger elbowed Draco in the side. "You're being too harsh, Draco. Lots of relationships get over deaths together. Harry and Cho can do it too."

Draco knew it was harsh, but it was bloody necessary. "Yeah. Lots of them do. But those are relationships with a stable foundation. Their relationship is based on past experiences that have nothing to do with the dead. They can overcome it because it's not what brought them together."

"Well... in that case," Potter glared at him. "How stable is your foundation with Greengrass, now that you're no longer aspiring to be a Death Eater?"

It too a moment for Draco to place Potter's argument. It took him a moment to understand that Potter meant that Draco being a Death eater were the reason why Astoria had married him. It was a low blow either way, but fundamentally wrong. However, Draco knew that Potter was emotional and Draco hadn't exactly sugarcoated his own opinion, so he couldn't be mad that Potter lashed out at him. "We're connected through being purebloods, Potter. That has nothing to do with my stupid aspirations. She never wanted a part in that. If she could accept me being a Death eater, she can accept that I changed my mind. And if she wouldn't, then my parents will simply pick someone who will." Eventually, that is.

That made Potter grumble under his breath. He seemed not to find anything else he could throw at Draco and that visibly pissed him off.

Draco regretted talking about this. THIS was why he didn't talk about his own feelings. "Look... I don't mean that you can't be with Chang. You just need to work this out. And you need to do it together. You need to have a clear idea on what your future could look like. Granger, Weasley and I could ask you a few questions about Cho Chang. There are no wrong answers. It's just for you to assess yourself and where you stand with her. Once you figure that out, you will know what to do."

Potter shook his head. "You just want to make fun of me." He did look like he was contemplating the idea, though.

Draco figured that it was a reasonable concern. "Just- Imagine a future with her. Think about how to get there." He looked around, hoping Potter's friends would pick up the invitation and make Potter stop looking at him like a kicked puppy.

Bless her soul, Hermione raised her hand and Draco pointed at her to ask the first question. "Do you want pets?" Draco got the strange feeling that Hermione was treating this like a lesson. That would explain her enthusiasm. Did she see him as a teacher? Draco hoped not, Granger was his nightmare idea of a student. (Yes, because she was smarter than him.)

"Seriously? I mean... Alright. I have Hedwig and I know Cho has an owl, too. So, owls, I guess," Potter started, flushing with more shame than before.

"What's the owl's name?," asked Draco, because he missed his own family owl. He liked animals... well, except snakes. Draco had seen more than enough snakes in his life and as ironic as this was for a Slytherin, he really didn't need to see more.

"I don't really know to be honest. I was distracted by the fact that Filch thought I was smuggling stuff to the owlery when I saw it. I think it might have been... 'Eagle' or something?" Potter seemed to be concentrating on whether or not the name had even been mentioned.

Draco, however, was startled by the answer. "No. That's definitely not it."

Harry scowled at him and threw up his arms. "And how would you know that?"

"Because that's the name of MY owl," Draco deadpanned, feeling somewhat amused. And yes. Draco's family Eagle owl was named after the species. Draco's genius with names should already have been established at this point, but Draco would definitely repeat himself. There was no way that Cho would get the same, brilliant! idea. Ah, Draco really missed Eagle. He had left him at home for his parents to take care of since Draco was mentally not in the right mind to take care of another living being. Another reason why Granger's question had been a good one.

Potter flushed. "Next question."

"What's her favourite colour?," asked Weasley, making it impossible for Draco to let this conversation sound somewhat sensible.

Draco gave him a look. "Really, Ronald? Favourite colours? What are you, twelve?"

"HEY!," Weasley frowned. "You wanted us to ask questions!"

Draco rolled his eyes. "How the hell does that help them with their relationship? You think this will prevent them from fighting over the curtains when they eventually live together?!"

"It's Blue!," Potter grumbled. He looked a bit panicked. Perhaps the idea of moving in together was a bit too soon. He was only fifteen, after all.

Doubtful, Draco turned back to him. "Is that something you know or is it because that's the colour of the Ravenclaw banner?"

Harry inhaled deeply, seemingly keeping himself from using violent action. "Why are you... Grrr. YOUR favourite colour is green! And you're a Slytherin!," Potter argued.

Draco snorted, meeting Harry's eyes almost deliberately. "Yeah. But I'm also a Slytherin fanatic. I doubt she's as obsessed with her house as I am. This is not a guessing game, Potter."

Potter's emeralds glinted angrily at him. "Okay. Next question, then."

Draco smiled. "What are the hobbies you share? Quidditch doesn't count."

Potter sighed. "I... Why does it not count? I don't know. Drawing, perhaps?"

"You draw?" Draco raised a brow.

"No?"

"Then you don't have that in common!," Draco said and could see to his own satisfaction how Potter was tearing at his own hair. Had Draco known it was this easy to frustrate him, he'd had befriended Potter sooner. Well... not that he hadn't tried.

Potter huffed. "Oh, come on. Not all of us sneak away to their rooms to inspect cursed objects all night! Or skip sleep to befriend houseelfs! Or play pretend their morning tee was a potion assignment when no one is looking! Cho Chang isn't as easy to read as you are!" Ah yes, Draco's four hobbies. Dark magic, insomnia, interspecies friendships and brewing potions. Draco halted. Wait a second -

He stared at Potter. Potter stared back. Hermione and Ronald stared at them staring at each other.

Potter's face paled, then turned pink and Draco decided that this was pretty much the crown on the whole spectacle. "Tell me, Potter. Would you grand Cho Chang full access to your mind?"

"Wha- No. Of course not!"

"Ah." The answer had been rather quick.

"What do you mean, 'ah!'" Potter seemed furious and embarrassed and it was amazing.

Draco folded his hands over his knees, not sure how to tell him. "Well... Turns out, instead of Cho Chang, you should be dating me, apparently. Now, if you'll excuse me, I will be going to my room and forget this conversation ever happened." Draco calmly got to his feet and brushed imaginary dust from his clothes.

If Potter hadn't been red before, he surely was now. "No. No you're not leaving! I should NOT be dating you! We don't have any...," he pressed his lips together. "Foundation or anything!"

Draco blinked and turned around. Was that a challenge? "We don't? You wound me, Potter. What about our ongoing rivalry since first grade? We've been playing Quidditch against each other for years and you were the only person who actually beat me in it."

"You're not playing Quidditch now! And we're not rivals, we're friends!" Ah, so that's where they were at. Good to know.

"So you're saying, friendship is LESS of a foundation for a relationship." Draco mockingly raised a brow.

"I'm NOT dating you!"

"That's homophobic."

"That's not -," Potter went rigid. "Name ONE thing that makes you think we'd work well together? What gives you ANY indication that we could work?"

Draco wasn't imagining the stares he got for that. Not just from Weasley and Granger who were staring with open mouths. But also a couple of fourth graders who were giggling as they pointed at the two of them. Potter was getting far too emotional over this, anyway. And far too invested in the idea of Draco and him. Draco was just messing around. So, he pretended to think hard for a moment. "A good relationship is one where, in my opinion, the two parties involved know each other well. So, when it comes to you and I, perhaps the fact that I can't lie to you for the life of me."

Harry scoffed. "You're too easy to read."

Weasley leaned over to Granger. "He really isn't."

"You've met my parents," Draco added, ignoring them, even though he really wanted them to keep talking. They made it feel funny. Or awkward... Draco wondered what the difference was. Time, perhaps.

"And I don't like them," Potter crossed his arms.

"EXACTLY! That's the PERFECT reaction. They love to be hated, and or feared. Besides, it was my father who urged me to befriend you in first year. I'm sure he'd come around."

Potter's mouth dropped open. "I thought you WANTED to be my friend!" Was he pouting?

Draco almost laughed. Potter looked so offended, it was almost cute. "I did. I also wanted to be a Death Eater when my father told me about them."

"No, you didn't!" Potter was fuming now, somehow more offended by that than any of the other things Draco had said. "You always wanted to be the leader, you'd never want to follow an old man who keeps your entire family hostage! If you actually believe that, then you're lying to yourself, so you can feel like shit!"

Draco's smile fell. Potter knew him entirely too well for his own good. Or the good of the entire wizarding world, at the moment.

He could see Granger gasping and whispering something to Ronald.

Draco stepped a bit forward, watching as Potter leaned away from him to gain some distance. A cold shiver just went down his spine, and he refused to address that argument. Potter was too on the nose. "I know you just as well, Potter. I knew you weren't the heir of Slytherin in second year, despite you being a Parselmouth."

"Of course you did. You knew it was the same person who opened it fifty years ago."

"No, I knew because you're a bloody Saint and wouldn't ever hurt muggleborns." The argument may be weak... but it made him feel better. The sooner they past that comment that made Draco's insides burn, the better.

Potter closed his mouth. "But back then you said -"

Draco was about to say something, then he paused. Hold on! "I never told you anything back then." Then he saw the look in Potter's eyes changing slightly. That's when he knew. "Oh, that's rich. You came to the Slytherin common room to spy on me? What... did you think I was the heir myself?"

"No."

"You're lying!" That sly bastard. "You definitely thought it was me!"

Granger and Weasley exchanged another glance.

"Well... You were always sprouting that pureblood nonsense! I knew you wouldn't lie to your best friends. So it only made sense to spy on you. Hermione made the polyjuice potion for it. That's why she was in the hospital wing at the time." Draco turned to Hermione who's face had turned red with embarrassment.

Draco couldn't help but feel an unbidden twist of fondness mingle with his heart. One, because Hermione was fucking smart, and second: "And you even thought to seek me out before believing rumours? Before believing in the accusations against me? That's so kind of you." He twitched a smile.

Potter was taken aback by that. "You're insufferable. I'm telling you! We would never work. We have NOTHING in common!"

Draco felt incredibly warm inside, despite himself. "Except the DA. And Quidditch. And occlumency. And our views about the Dark Lord. Plus, we like complete each other, don't we?"

"NO, we do NOT!"

"Really? Potter, you're good at defence of the magical kind, I am good at defences of the mind. We're both related to and on Padfoot's side. My connection to him is by blood, yours is by friendship. And that's kind of our defining features. You want to be an auror. I want to be a therapist. You can arrest people, while I take care of the victims. I can imagine you would like a very homey place to live in. I imagine leave Grimmauld place will be left to you, though we both have a claim on it. I could take care of the portraits and curses, you can take care of making it a home. How do you stand on the subject of adoption, Potter?" It came out sarcastic. The picture painted itself.

Potter stared at him, his mouth wide open, face so red he might as well disappear between the curtains of the common room. Then he closed it. "You're making fun of me."

"Of course I am," Draco laughed.

"Now THAT's homophobic."

"It's not."

"URGH! And WHY? You've been making homophobic jokes since the beginning of term! Who even are you that you can decide whether it's homophobic or not?!"

Now, that actually DID surprised Draco. "Because I'm gay?" Did... did Harry seriously not know? After all this looking through Draco and making him feel transparent as fuck?

They stared at each other for another few moments in which Potter turned into a pillar of salt. If Potter could really read him as well as he claimed, then he would know it was not a lie. When it finally seemed to register with him, Potter sputtered out the least offensive argument Draco had ever heard. Potter clearly stumbled over giving Draco a proper answer to his coming out, as well as keep the discussion going. It must really bother him, then. "Well... we'd still never work out... since you're not even calling me by my first name!"

Draco stepped further into Potter's personal space and put a hand on his shoulder, before leaning over to whisper in his ear. "We could change that if you want, Harry."
Draco patted him on the shoulder and turned on his heels as dramatically as he could. If only he had a cape like Snape did, then he could really swirl that thing to add some flair.

Potter was left behind, white as sheet, and so frozen he didn't even manage to respond to his actual friends trying to console him.

Draco left the Gryffindor tower. Not without breaking into full on laughter once he was in the hallway, trying to avoid patrols. He would NEVER forget Potter's face after that conversation. He wiped away a tear.
That had been unexpectedly fun. He hadn't laughed this much since... yeah... since when? Draco's smile fell.

Of course, what Potter had said was actually true. Potter and him would never work out. Their foundation was just as unstable as any relationship Draco could agree to at the moment. Because Draco was depressed and kept secrets and hated himself so much that putting anyone in a relationship with him sounded more like a punishment than anything else. Not to mention the age difference. Draco was in no condition to let someone in his life like that. He was already tiptoeing the lines by making friends with the Gryffindors.

Draco saw Potter again in potions, where Professor Snape sent Draco somewhat agitated glances. Perhaps because Snape had been released from the occlumency lessons against anyone's expectations. A truly unexpected turn of events. He was no doubt confused and perhaps, insulted.

However, those were not the repercussions that Draco had to fear most that day.

For one, Potter was avoiding him in the least avoidable way possible. Draco was sitting with Neville at the Gryffindor table for breakfast, as usual, while Potter was looking pointedly in a different direction. Right next to them. While joining their conversation. With a face so red it looked like he was trying to melt into a puddle of the Gryffindor house colours. It would be funny if it wasn't so ridiculous.

Granger and Weasley, despite also being present, did a much better job by being quiet, thus, avoiding him.

It was weird. Since some of the witnesses of last night had been spreading word about what Draco had said, the entire Gryffindor table was now sending them odd glances. By lunch, the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs followed. The Slytherin's didn't even bother to hide their amusement and hackle him in the hallways.

In an odd twist, this turn of events even made them more approachable. Draco's coming out, plus the rumours of him having a crush on Potter had now somehow become the widely accepted reason why Draco had switched tables. All the odd things he had done this year suddenly made sense to them.

Astoria Greengrass, when asked, confirmed their engagement and just shrugged whenever she was spoken to. She didn't deny it. And then told everyone that she was well informed of Draco's preferences and that that changed nothing in the arrangement. That in fact, they had made room for such things, as she did not intent to be 'Malfoy's wife' and nothing else. She didn't care. As Draco knew she didn't because they had discussed it when Draco was fourteen and figured out that he had liked kissing Theo during a 'bro's night out' a bit too much. Astoria's ignorance to the whole thing drove Potter mad. Well, they couldn't really know that Astoria was a lesbian herself, which was why Draco had agreed to marry the Greengrass girl a year younger than him, rather than the one his age. M/M & W/W solidarity was what this was, but to be fair... Draco had to admit that he'd still managed to mess up their marriage in the future.

The one person who seemed bothered the most was, obviously, Cho Chang. One day, she started towards Draco in fast strides, making him retreat into the next wall. At least she had the gall to call him out, rather than hold silent grudges and ignoring him for as long as possible, or worse, be jealous. "Did you REALLY tell Harry that I only liked him because I think of Cedric when I'm with him?" She went straight to the point.

Draco blinked and relaxed as he realised that this wasn't about him potentially liking Potter himself. "All I said was that your ex's death is a horrible foundation for a relationship."

Chang glared even more. "It is still not YOUR place to comment on it! Do you have ANY idea how it feels to have lost someone you care about so deeply? Harry is the only one who understands, I -"

Draco cut her off before she could continue and make a fool of herself. "And that's the problem, Chang. Potter is not your therapist. What you need is stable friendships or, well... an actual therapist. Potter is not the type to dwell on things like this. He bottles things up, then has a breakdown or gets aggressive. Somehow, it works for him. But it's good that it does. Do you have any idea how many times he's faced the Dark Lord? How many people are risking their lives for him every single day? If he dwelled on every single death, then he wouldn't be able to teach all of you in the DA. He'd probably be dead by now, had he stopped to cry over Diggory on the graveyard!"

"You know about the DA?," she asked, covering her mouth.

Draco blinked. Fucking hell, he'd fucked up. "Yeah. I'm actually a member."

"But you've never been with us!" Why was she focusing on THAT right now?

Draco nodded slowly. "Yes... I have private lessons with Potter. Because my schedule collides with the rest of yours too much. You guys couldn't possibly reschedule every single lesson because of ONE Slytherin. Besides, how many of you would leave if you knew about me?" She closed her mouth. "Exactly," Draco said and still somehow felt like he had said something wrong. "Could we please focus on your problem, now? I believe you have loads to say."

For a moment, Chang stared at him, as if contemplating what currently bothered her most, then she breathed. "I just don't understand! How can he not care? Every time he sees me cry, he just... freezes."

"The Dark Lord killed his parents," Draco reminded her. "He was never given the room to grieve, so he learned how to move on. He hasn't even learned how to deal with his own issues. He doesn't know how to take on yours."

Chang deflated. "So... you actually do care." Why did she sound so surprised? "You must really like him." She paused again. "You're not like - trying to make us break up, are you?!"

Draco laughed. He honest to god laughed. These people, he really couldn't with them. How was THAT her problem? "Quite the opposite, really. I want this to work for you! You deserve to be happy, both of you. I'm not- I know I don't look it. But I HAVE lost people too." Draco's mood dimmed slightly. He wasn't entirely sure what he was trying to say with this. Perhaps he just wanted her to feel that she wasn't alone. Perhaps he just wanted to make sure that she knew he wasn't ever going to stand in their way. "And I don't wish it on anyone."

"Have you?," she asked, brow raised in doubt. "Don't get me wrong, but I'm pretty sure your friends and family are still alive."

Draco's smile faded into something cold. "Yes, they are alive," he said quietly. "But I still lost them." 'More than once,' he didn't say. 'Some may be alive, but who knows for how long?,' he left unsaid. He paused, feeling the cold rage clench his fists. "What do you think is worse? If someone you love dies a hero? Or if they follow the villain and become the very thing you fear most." He let that hang in the air for a moment, watched as Chang blanched, somehow sensing that Draco needed space.
Draco wasn't done. He pushed himself up from the wall and properly faced her. None of them seemed to understand what the hell was going on, why all of this was so difficult for him. Why was no one thinking what Draco's decision to side with Potter truly MEANT? Why was it so easy for them to just throw him in the gutter and call him a freak, blame it on love, instead of thinking his decision through?
"Do you realise that by siding with Potter, I might one day have to face my own parents in the war? That I might have to watch them die by the hands of Potter, his friends, or maybe even my own?" He met her eyes, watched them widen in horror, as understanding clicked into place. "Has it occurred to you that even if they survive, they will be locked up in Askaban, tortured by the Dementors, or even get their soul sucked out? And that is me being optimistic enough to think we win! What if we lose? Will they spare me, while they slaughter my new friends in Gryffindor, or Ravenclaw? Or do you think my parents will torture me themselves." Draco's voice wavered. Chang's mouth was parted, her body completely still. "I turned on my Slytherin friends. I will have to face them one day. I have lost them already, but they are still alive. They still mean the world to me but I have to let them go. I have to let them make their own choices, no matter what that does to me. Even if it means we will kill each other. I would never dream of dating Potter, or anyone for that matter, while this is my life."

She stepped back, now five feet apart from him. "I'm... I'm sorry.", she mouthed. "I had no idea... I didn't think -"

"No one does." Draco still remembered Vincent's screams from within the flames. He still remembered the few Slytherins who refused the Dark Lord as they were brought to their knees and killed on claims they were traitors. Right in that fucking garden, between Bellatrix favourite murder plants. People he used to be friends with. People that were now alive and that he couldn't quite face, knowing their fate, knowing how they would betray his trust, knowing how they would change. This was why he couldn't look them in the eyes. "Of course you don't. Of course you're sorry."

Cho Chang stared at him. She didn't say anything. She averted her eyes to stare at the ground, guilty tears in her eyes.

Draco took a deep breath. "I'm sorry too. It's not fair of me to push all of that on you but that is the whole point. What you feel is valid. I'm not blaming you for wanting Diggory back. I want you to understand what it means when all of that is looming over you and your partner. I don't know what it is you're going through but you don't have to deal with it all by yourself. And most importantly, you can't take it all out on Potter and hope he carries your problems for you. That's not fair. He's just a kid, he has no idea how to deal with any of it. Before you think about love, you have to stand upright on your own and find a way to love him without feeling guilty and searching for Diggory in every conversation between you."

She nodded and looked down.

Draco hoped he'd conveyed his message right this time. He really did. "I would like to help you, Chang. I hate to admit it, but Potter is my friend. And he deserves someone who makes him happy. Right now that is you. I'm not sure if I can help, but I can listen. Potter has enough to deal with on his own, so give him some slack."

Between the guilt, Draco detected confusion in Chang's expression. "What is he dealing with?"

Draco blinked. Did she not know about Potter's dreams? Merlin, the guy shared less with this girl than he had imagined. "That's not for me to share." Draco sighed.

She frowned for a moment, but then shook her head to focus on the actual offer. "You're offering to be my therapist?" She raised a brow as Draco's suggestion caught up to her. "So that I can be with Harry?"

Draco blinked and shrugged. "I do want to be a therapist, so yeah. Why not. What's the worst that can happen?"

"You're a Slytherin!," she said.

"I'm pretty sure we're long past that point."

She shook her head. "Do you really think you can help me?"

Draco put a calm hand on her shoulder. "I can't make your feelings go away. But I can help you put things into perspective. I can help you deal with them."

"Don't you have panic attacks yourself?"

Fair point. "I do. And I'm dealing with it as best as I can. In fact, it does help when people confide in me. It makes me feel useful. It would sort of be mutually beneficial. That is, if you're interested."

She seemed skeptical for another few beats. Then she nodded. "Perhaps you're right. It can't hurt worse than it already does. And you're right about Harry. He deserves a real chance. Without me feeling guilty for liking him every second we're together. When do you have time?"
Draco beamed at her.

Draco didn't see Potter until their first session in occlumency. And when he stormed into the room of requirements, he didn't just close the door, he slammed it shut as if he couldn't be angrier with Draco. "What the hell did you do to Cho?"

Draco looked up at him from his position on the ground of the DA room. He sat there, his legs crossed, a bottle butterbeer in hand as he read through one of the curse books on the shelves. "Good evening to you too, Potter. I offered her therapy." By the looks of it, Potter knew that already.

"Are you nuts? She's not insane!"

Now, Draco felt offended. "Therapy isn't for the insane, Potter. It is for the overwhelmed and the confused. Not for people like you who somehow manage to deal with everything on their own."

"Why on EARTH would you do that?"

Draco tilted his head. "We talked about this. She needs someone to talk to about Diggory's death and that someone shouldn't be you."

"I'm her boyfriend!"

"Yes. You are. And I am now her therapist, so you two can work on your relationship together without that whole crying business in your way."

Potter dropped on the ground before him. Eyes wide and disbelieving. "So... you're not trying to ruin our relationship?" Somehow, his face flushed after that statement.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "And what, pray tell, would I gain from that?"

Potter mumbled under his breath. "I thought you'd be jealous."

Draco smirked. "Jealous of what?"

Potter bit his lip. "Of her..." It came out weak and confused. He oddly reminded Draco of a very sad puppy.

Draco shook his head. "Potter, I was messing with you in the Gryffindor tower. You made it incredibly easy though."

"So...," Potter's face was red. "You DON'T have a crush on me. All this... this flirting... the wand jokes... that's not because -" He stopped, trying to hide his flush.

Draco snorted. "No, I don't." Potter's green eyes glimmered in the soft light. He took Draco's words in like a sponge. A somehow disappointed, sour sponge. Scanning him for any possible lie. "Besides, I was kidding. You were right. We don't have a foundation for a relationship. I told you that Chang needs to deal with her grief before dating you. The same counts for me, regarding any relationship. Astoria included. I don't know if you noticed, Potter but I am a mess. And putting anyone at my side would be a disaster in the making. Now. Let's focus on occlumency. Have you been clearing your mind before going to sleep?" Draco already knew that Potter had forgotten about his homework.

Potter muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously a lot like 'you sound like Snape.' He still seemed like he wanted to say more on the previous topic, but he seemed to sense that Draco would hex him if he uttered another word about it.

"I mean it, Potter, did you practice?"

"I don't even know what clearing my mind means!" He sounded as if he feared that Draco was about to shout at him. Snape would have. Probably. Or rather, sneered. Snape didn't shout.

Draco bridged his nose. "Well, alright. Then we'll just have to teach you that first, shall we?"

Harry nodded nervously, shifting a little so that they sat opposite each other on pillows that the room provided for petrification and stupefying spells. It took him a while to get settled but Draco was nothing if not patient. Being a therapist, sitting on the other side of the couch, focusing on someone other than himself, that gave him purpose, that calmed him down, that made him feel at home and collected. Draco wondered how Severus would have gone about this. He probably would have snapped at Potter and punished him by invading his mind while Potter remained unprepared. Bellatrix never told him about this trick in the first place. Draco sighed.

"Now, focus on the room around you! Think about the room. Focus on what you see. Anything. What do you see? Describe it to me."

Potter looked around, obedient as ever. "I see shelves and books. I see the pillows and practice dummies in the corner. There is a chimney to my left. What's this for?"

That was a start. "You see any details?"

"Details?"

Draco nodded and closed his eyes. He could envision it, the room around him. The smell, the noise. Thoughts are normally hazy. Thoughts are shapes and vague senses. "The shelf behind me is covered in a marks from straying spells. It smells like mahagony when you get close enough, the books are ripped in places, the paper is old, rough to the touch." Draco still had the one book on curses open in his arms and he grabbed the pages subconsciously. "The floor has been cleaned and is made of marble. The clean smell of citrus mixes with the wood. Your trainers squeak against the ground when you walk. The tapestry is peeling off in the corners. The light flickers and floods the room with warmth and shadows."

"The floor was probably Dobby. He cleans this place for us," Harry muttered, as he touched the ground with one hand.

Draco shushed him. "Concentrate, Potter."

"Wouldn't it be easier, if you just ... went ahead and read my mind so I can shut you out?"

Draco opened one eye for the sole purpose of glaring at Potter. "What's the point if you have no idea how to react to it?"

Potter huffed. "I don't see how seeing the room is clearing my mind!"

Draco opened both eyes and clapped the book shut before setting it aside. "The point is to keep yourself grounded in reality. You need to know the difference between dream and memory, reality and thought. You need to know how you visualise things. You need to know what you focus on when it's you thinking. It's about knowing yourself and your mind and your surroundings. You will notice details that your opponent will not.
Even if you can't shut them out completely, you can trick your mind to think of just the things you see. If your mind is occupied at taking things in, the invasive thoughts cannot see what else is in there. It gives you time to figure out how to throw them out without disclosing any useful information. Now close your eyes!"

Potter sighed. Then he did as instructed.

Draco continued. "To clear your mind doesn't mean to empty it of every single thought. Thoughts cannot be controlled or erased like that. In fact, repressing them won't help you at all. Just the direction they take can be manipulated. You have to concentrate on your inner voice and understand what it sounds like. So that when it's me inside your head, you'll know it's not you."

"Snape said that Voldemort won't care about whether or not I'm prepared when he invades my mind."

Draco snarled. "That's a very stupid thing to say when it's his job to prepare you," he countered. "The goal is to always be prepared. The point is to be so self aware enough that it becomes second nature to you to detect invasive thoughts. That's why you need to practice. It has to become instinct."

Potter sighed again and took a breath. "I think I'm ready."

"Alright." Draco opened his eyes and focused on Potter's emerald green ones. Draco was pretty sure that Potter was just getting impatient. But if he said he was ready, then Draco would do as requested. Draco didn't need his wand to invade Potter's mind. Neither did Dumbledore, nor did Snape or Voldemort. It made the invasion weaker, however. The thing was, weaker invasions were sneakier. They weren't so blatant and obvious. Which made them perfect for Potter to train with.

The first thing Draco felt when nudging against Potter's mind was how little he resisted. He could imagine that that was how the antibodies of your white blood cells felt when they encountered a virus for the very first time. Draco gently dug deeper into Potter's brain and fished out memories he considered save. He saw Potter on his first day of elementary school. The boy was no more than a child, dressed in ragged clothes, frightened of the boy next to him whose name Potter's mind offered as Dudley Dursley. The scene skipped to Potter being pushed into the girl's changing room. Which then ended in him being scolded by several teachers and even suspended.

Draco sighed and pushed a little harder against Potter's mind. Pushed, so Harry would notice him. He was brought into another classroom where Dudley Dursley made fun of Harry for his clothes. Which were several sizes too big and ripped in many places and were clearly hand me downs. The scene changed to Potter running away from a dog, his aunt laughing about him as he climbed up a tree and got stuck there. Draco physically nudged Potter in the side with his foot.

Slowly, incredibly slowly, Potter seemed to clear his mind enough to focus on the details of the room or requirements. Draco could see it through Potter's eyes. It was a half assed job at best, but it was a start. Draco considered it a win and let go when Potter didn't manage to kick him out farther than that.

He returned to Potter staring at him. "That felt a lot different than it did with Snape."

Draco would assume so. "And how did it feel?"

"You don't feel as invasive as he does. I barely noticed you."

Draco sighed. "Remember what I told you at Grimmauld place? That's what I meant. People you trust have more access to your head. You're more willing to let them in. People who are close to you can become voices in your head over time. There may be situations in your mind where you don't know what to do, and a voice inside your head sounds like one of your friends. I bet one of your inner voices is Granger reminding you of doing your homework. Now imagine how much easier she would have it to trick your mind." Draco paused. "Now, if you're exposed to abusers, then their voices can also take residence in your head. That makes it even more important to learn how to distinguish between your voice and theirs." Now that Draco thought about it, maybe he should dissect his own inner voices more closely. To figure out which one was Bella's, and which one was his own. She may not be here physically but she still tortured him in his mind.

Potter nodded. "That makes sense."

"Alright, again?" Draco shook off the thought for later.

Potter nodded. "Is it really okay when you announce it like that?"

"We'll switch to surprise attacks soon enough, Potter. For now, focus on which voice belongs to you and which one belongs to me. I want you to recognise the difference, otherwise this whole thing will be pointless."

And so, Draco invaded Potter's mind again and again. He tried to keep at the same memories. Repetition would probably make it easier. Potter would know where to direct his thoughts first. But of course, while searching Potter's mind, he saw more and more about Potter's life. Saw the first ride on a broom. Saw what Potter saw in the mirror of Erised.

It always took Potter multiple attempts to find Draco's voice. To find him, and even longer to throw him out. Draco nudged him several times to see how Potter would fare with the distraction. That too, was something that needed lots of practice.

After about an hour or so, Draco decided they had done enough for today. If he continued like this, Potter might not recover from the invasion. This kind of practice could be taxing. Invading someone's mind was like inflecting a small wound over and over again. If you did it too much, the wound wouldn't heal properly.

"So. For next time, I want you to focus on your surroundings more. When you go to sleep, think about what the ceiling looks like. Question every detail. Dreams tend to be deformed versions of reality. If you notice the differences, you can eventually even keep him out in your sleep. You will likely recognise the Dark Lord sooner than you will me. But remember, his voice is already ingrained in your head. You might be more lenient with him than you realise."

Potter nodded and looked at his hands. "Thank you, Draco, really."

Suddenly, the atmosphere between them shifted. There was something in Potter's eyes. Something that seemed almost ... intimate. Which Draco supposed this whole situation was, no matter how professional Draco tried to keep it. Two people couldn't be any closer than through shared minds. "It's no problem."

"No. I mean it. I feel like I understand this a lot better now. Snape just ...," he waved his hand in a wide gesture and grimaced. "Invades. He doesn't explain a thing. He just... invades my head and then shouts when I don't get it. You're much better at it. When he did it, I only managed to see the room once. You wait every time until I do. It really helps me understand what you mean when you say I need to drive you out."

Draco nodded. "Severus method has the advantage that it forces you to see him like a virus that you need to get rid off. It can get the results faster if you're really trying. My method focusses more on making you understand the mechanics of it. I don't know if mine is the better method. I just know that force is not ... safe."

Potter looked him in the eyes. Emerald green meeting storm cloud gray. "You speak from experience."

Draco nodded.

"How were you taught?"

Draco considered lying. He considered telling Potter to just leave. After all, those emerald eyes currently belonged to two people. Draco decided that it was a low risk answer. "Invasion when I least expected it. Punishment when I failed. Invasion during punishment to really hit it home." He looked at the ceiling, allowing himself to remember bits and pieces of his own lessons. It had been so long ago, yet it weighted him down.

Potter looked pained. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Doesn't this remind you of it?" Potter asked, clearly disturbed despite the casualty of Draco's words.

Draco shook his head. "No. I'm not on the receiving end, am I? I can chose how I teach you. This is nothing like the way I was taught. Whether or not I feel safe depends on whether or not I'm in control. Here, with you, I am."

Potter nodded and bit his lip. After a bit of silence, he decided to change the subject. "Well... about tomorrow. You know there is a DA meeting again, right?"

Draco nodded slowly. "Yeah, why?"

"The Ravenclaws have a spot cleared for tomorrow just after lunch. Their teacher is sick. Hermione and I were thinking to have a training session then. I checked with your calendar. You should be free at the time. Would you like to join us?"

Draco blinked. "I could... do that, I guess? If they'll have me?"

Harry beamed. "It'll be fine."

Draco's first session with Cho Chang went... different than what he'd expected.
In fact, Draco couldn't help but stare at her in surprise as soon as she opened up to him. They had chosen an empty classroom to hold their session. Since it was just the both of them and Umbridge hadn't yet declared her weird order about separating girls and boys from another, they weren't likely to be interrupted. Draco still looked around cautiously, wondering if anyone had overheard what she'd just said. Not because he was embarrassed or anything, he was afraid for her. "I was not expecting that," he admitted, after a long moment of silence. She'd been struggling with since she was ten?

Chang gritted her teeth, but kept her head held high. "And? Still want to give me therapy? Or do you want to give me therapy because of it! I'm not imagining it!"

Draco blinked. "Oh no, I mean, yes, I mean-. Forgive me, this is a misunderstanding. I'm not surprised that this is a thing, I'm surprised you're telling me this right of the bat. I would have assumed that you'd tell me later, if at all. Do you think you need therapy for it?"

Chang's tense expression relaxed a bit. "I don't want to open my mind to you when I can't be sure how you'd react once you know, you know? And besides, no one would believe you if you told anyone. This isn't really a thing people deal with."

"Of course." Draco nodded seriously, albeit doubtful and folded his hands. "Whether or not this is something only you deal with... I can assure you that's not the case but let's come back to that later. For now let's focus on you and your relationships.
I suppose that this puts another layer on your problems, doesn't it? Is this why you keep people at a distance? Your own friends, I mean."

Chang sighed into her arms, finally burying her face in her hands. Despite everything, she looked relieved. "They wouldn't understand. I don't look it-"

"People like you rarely look it," Draco said. "Besides, there is no specific way to look. And you're a witch, so it makes sense that your magic went ahead to do it for you. Don't talk down on yourself, this doesn't change a thing." This was a much tougher case than he had expected, or been prepared for. "At least not to me. I promise, I won't tell anyone. This is your truth and I honour that you trust me with it. I think it's very brave that you shared this with me."

She nodded quickly, although she didn't look like she trusted him very much just yet. "It's been tough. My dad left because of it and my mom keeps trying to tell me to change back. And then the thing with Cedric-" She sobbed into her hands as something seemed to crack inside her. "He loved me anyway! He was the only person to love me anyway! No one else gets it, no one else gives a damn! And now he's gone and I'm all alone!" She looked up to meet Draco's eyes. "He was my best friend! The only one who knew! I loved him so much!"

Draco couldn't even imagine how she must be feeling. There had been a time where he'd been afraid his parents would kick him out for being gay. But he could at least find a way to meet their expectations without completely damning himself. It must be so much harder for her. "Love doesn't die just because the people we love are gone." He corrected her. "You still love him and it's okay that you can't let go just yet." Chang bit her lip, nodding almost furiously. Draco took another deep breath before he continued. "That's why you chose him over Potter, isn't it? Because he knew you and accepted you, and Potter doesn't."

"He wouldn't get it," she confirmed. "And he wouldn't love me if he knew." That sounded almost desperate and very unlike her.

Draco felt his insides clench at the thought alone. "Do you truly believe that?"

She wiped off her tears. "How can I expect him to?" Another wave followed, making it impossible for her to erase the evidence. Then she looked up. "You want me to tell him, don't you?"

Draco raised his brows. "That's not for me to decide. I want you to think about what it is that you want from him."

"I don't want it to matter," she said through heavy breaths.
Draco let that sit with her for a moment. She waited for another comment but Draco was already satisfied with the answer. "What?!," she asked. "I can't make it not matter! It WILL matter! Because I've been lying to him!"

"You have not been lying to him," Draco corrected her once again. "You've hidden some specifics, you haven't lied to anyone. And you're right that it shouldn't matter."

"But it does!" She said loudly. It echoed in the empty classroom, making some of Professor McGonagall's class pets shriek at the sudden noise. "It always does!"

Draco supposed he was in over his head for this one. This wasn't the kind of emotional problems he was trained in. He was more used to traumatic events like plane crashes and losing loved ones. He had thought he was ready for Chang, but it turned out that he wasn't. Not really. Which was why he had to change direction. "Perhaps you're right," he said after some time of silence. "Maybe it does matter to some people. Maybe it does matter to Potter. What will you do if it does?"

She stared at him, eyes wide. "Are you serious right now?"

Draco looked at her, knowing fully well that he had no idea what he was doing, and being even more certain that this only proved how much he was needed. "Chang, I'm no expert in this. I just know that people are people. Every person has their worries and their concerns. And we all hide things that not everyone can approve of. Sometimes the question isn't about what we want. Sometimes it's about what we deserve and where we put our boundaries with the people we want in our lives. What you just told me, Chang, is not something you can change or control. You have accepted yourself that way and you deserve to be accepted by the people you love. If they cannot do that, if they can't put in the effort, then maybe they aren't worth yours."

Chang stared at him. "You want me to break up with him!?" Suddenly she stood up, anger flashing through her hazel eyes. "You bloody liar! You said this wasn't what you wanted for me!"

"And it isn't," Draco said as calmly as he could.

"Bullshit!," she yelled back. "All your stupid talks about foundations and what people deserve, and really you just wanted to come between us! I can't believe that I trusted you for even a SECOND!" He must have really hit a nerve there but she was reading him wrong.

"Chang, if he can't accept you for who you are, then he doesn't deserve you."

She scoffed, tears finally running out. "Like you care about me!"

"Okay, fine, maybe I don't want you to trick him into a one-sided relationship." Draco's voice remained calm but internally he was boiling. He knew he was losing her. Draco knew from experience that there was a point in these discussions when he'd hit a brick wall and his patient would no longer trust in his words. At those moments, it was sometimes crucial to share something honest and raw to gain back their trust. If she didn't believe that he cared for her, then maybe she would believe that he cared for Potter.

"What?" Bewildered as she was, her tears dried out completely.

"You talk so much about Diggory with him that he barely knows anything about you besides your grief. He deserves to be happy too! He's trying to get to know you and you keep deflecting and avoid talking about yourself. And why? Because you're ashamed? Ashamed of what? Of who you are? So what, you're gonna pretend to be someone else for the entirety of this relationship? Never let him get close enough to truly know you? To ever truly love the real you? Is that really worth it?"

"Maybe it's all I can get!" Chang let out loudly. "Maybe I don't deserve more than that!"

"Then maybe you're better off alone." At this point, Draco knew he had gone too far and immediately regretted what he'd said. He wasn't supposed to get emotional over these things. It were moments like these that showed Draco how little he was fit for the job. And it reminded him of why he did it anyway.

She stared at him with wet eyes and a mix of anger and realisation in her eyes. "And maybe he's better off without me." She added, sounding just as hoarse as Draco had, as she finished his thought for him.

He sighed and averted his eyes. "People tend to forget that you can be lonely in relationships too. We put such high expectations on partners, expect them to fix us, think that love is a cure, that we don't realise that sometimes love isn't enough. You are setting your relationship with Potter up for failure before it even started. And I'm not saying that because I want you to tell him. I'm telling you because you just made it abundantly clear that YOU need him to know."

She stared at him. "There is no easy way to fix this, is there?"

"There never is," Draco confirmed.

For a while, they sat in front of each other again, silence creeping in between them, when Chang finally spoke up. "How do you think he will react?"

Draco relaxed. "If I know Potter as well as I think I do, then he'll be a bit confused and probably not understand a word you're saying. But he'll come around quickly once he gets it. And in two weeks, he'll have forgotten that it was ever a problem."

She huffed a laugh. "Why didn't you lead with that?"

Draco wondered about that too. "If I lead this whole thing with 'it will be fine,' would you have believed me?"

She stared at him again, then smiled and finally relaxed as well. "No."

"I didn't think so. It's my job to take your worries seriously, so that's what I'm trying to do." Draco took another deep breath before he grabbed his wand and waved it in front of him to create a little flyer. It was a small piece of paper with blue, pink and white stripes on the cover. He'd found a box of flyers just like these at his office when he'd taken over. Them and a few books on Queerness. He'd rarely needed them, but he knew where they were and why they were needed. He handed the flyer to her. "I'm not sure how much you've read up on it, and I think you probably know far more about it than I do, but in case you need any more help, I would suggest you look into this. I told you earlier that you're not the only one and this is what I meant. It's a whole thing."

"Is this a muggle flyer?" Chang stared at the thing in awe. "This is-" She hovered over the first page with even more tears in her eyes. She suddenly went quiet as she read through the page. "This is me." There was raw shock and surprise in her voice.

"I think so. The wizarding world isn't really- up to date on these things." Draco grimaced. "But it can be freeing. To have a word for who you are. Even if not everyone around you knows what it means. It helps to know that you're not alone."

She nodded. "Yeah. I think so too." She pressed the flyer against her chest. "Thank you so much, Draco!"

"You're welcome." Draco tried to smile, but knowing how much she must be struggling with this, feeling alone and wrong in her body for years, having to reconsider every single relationship she'd had, feeling like she had to share the most intimate of thoughts with people she'd just met- it must be exhausting.
Draco wouldn't exactly call the following DAY meeting "fine", to quote Potter. Nearly a dozen eyes were directed at him. No one, save Potter, Ronald Weasley, Granger, Chang, Neville and Lovegood seemed pleased to see him. Which was a surprisingly high level of welcome, Draco thought.

The twins just raised eyebrows at his arrival. Ginny Weasley ignored him pointedly and the rest were either confused or glaring at him.

"Seriously? MALFOY?," asked a blond Hufflepuff. He sounded affronted. "Since when are Slytherin's allowed in here?"

"Now hold on. We never said Slytherin's couldn't join! He has as much right to be here as everyone else does," Potter said and crossed his arms. He seemed annoyed, in fact. Draco found that oddly touching. "He's been a part of the DA for a while. He's signed the member sheet and everything!"

The Hufflepuff, Zucchini or whatever his name was, puffed out his chest. According to Ronald's eye-roll, it wasn't the first time he'd complained about the DA. "And him signing makes him trustworthy? Just because YOU guys get along with him, doesn't mean he's not up to something."

Draco raised an eyebrow, honestly somewhat intrigued by his bravery. "You're telling me, you signed that paper and you're NOT scared of the consequences if you break the code? You may have nerves of steel, man, but I'm not messing with Granger." Draco raised both arms defensively.

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Zucchini looked confused. And the room was suddenly filled with nervous whispers.

Hermione blushed. "How did you know the papers were enchanted?" The room feel eerily silent.

Draco stared at her. "In second grade, you knocked out my friends and brewed a flawless polyjuice potion to infiltrate the Slytherin common room. You're the smartest witch in our year. Do you really think I'd believe you're so stupid to let just anyone join this illegal fight club without a backup plan?"

Hermione, predictably, looked pleased at that answer. "Well... not really."

There was further silence. But it seemed everyone understood why she would do such a thing. If anything, it might be a warning for the person who had ended up spilling the beans last time around. It was a good thing he pointed it out. This might stop Umbridge from ever finding them.

"I still don't like it," said Zucchini, seemingly more wary of Hermione and less of Draco now. He also looked embarrassed for not having had the same foresight as him. "He's still a Slytherin. Now he knows where we are when we practice. He may not rat us out, but what stops him from using this course to threaten us or curse us or I don't know, poison us?"

Potter scoffed. "I just told you, he's been a part of the army for as long as you have. He KNEW about this room. In fact, he's the one who showed it to me."

"And? To gain your trust. Corner you," Zucchini said, a little flabbergasted. "He never joined us before. Why is that?"

Potter huffed again, clearly annoyed now. "Colliding schedules? We're already shifting courses around our timetables for three houses. He's the only Slytherin here. The reason he's here now, is because the Ravenclaws spontaneously got time. He gets his own lessons outside of DA." Again, silence.

"Isn't Malfoy gay?," some quiet voice asked what probably the majority within the room had wanted to ask. Rumours spread quickly, after all. Although it made Draco blink a couple times because he really didn't see how that was relevant. He noticed, however, how that reaction caused Chang to flinch slightly.

"Yeah, doesn't he have like, a crush on Potter?," asked another voice. And perhaps that was the point of it all. That he'd taken lessons with Potter all on their lonesome.

Draco rolled his eyes. "I may be gay, but that doesn't mean I'll jump the golden boy. Get over it. If you don't want to trust me, that's fine. You don't have to. Then trust that Granger and, I imagine, Weasley will hex me, should I blabber about these illegal lessons that I am also very clearly a part off, in case you didn't notice. Besides, I'm flattered that you think me so capable, but I don't think I could take on all-" He pretended to count, "-thirty? of you."

"I wouldn't hex you," said Ronald.

"Thank you, but I meant your sister, Ronald."

Ginny made some strange expression that only proved Draco's point. Draco turned to Harry who looked somewhat speechless for some reason. Perhaps it had never occurred to him what spending so much alone time with Draco might paint for a picture. Just how would he react when they found out about the literal sharing minds thing?

"He's right. I can and I will hex you," Granger chipped cheerfully. As if that had been a compliment and not a warning. "Harry, what are you teaching us today?"

Harry finally snapped out of it. "Well... originally I wanted to go through the boggarts with you -"

"And why don't we?," interrupted Zucchini once more. "Because you want to protect your new snake friend?"

Harry flushed. "Because it can be a very invasive experience."

Draco smiled. Like... yeah! Who allowed teachers to place children in front of their worst fears, in front of the entire fucking class? Huh, Lupin? That doesn't SHAPE minds, it fucking traumatises them! There had been a reason why the entire Slytherin class had boycotted the lesson and had Snape deal with Lupin. It also meant that their final exams were a disaster in the boggarts regard, but still.

"You mean, it's because of HIM," provided Cho Chang. She seemed confused. As if both understanding the situation and thrown off by the same facts. "Because -," she exchanged a glance with Draco, genuinely empathetic. "You know what his fears are." So did she, Draco mused. Well, to some extent.

Harry covered his face with a hand, clearly uncomfortable that his girlfriend was defending Draco. "Stop questioning me! I don't want our first lesson with the ONE Slytherin on our side to be opening up wounds for everyone to exploit. This is as much for him as it is for you."

"Oh yeah. I'd definitely exploit your fears," Draco lied, because it was funny. Damn, these guys really hated Slytherins.

"My POINT is that we WILL be facing our fears today, but in a different way. I will be teaching you the patronus. I know you've all been wanting to learn that one!" He beamed a smile and watched the rest of the group mirror his expression.

Draco's grin fell. Oh. Yeah. That. Well, to hell with fear then. Happy thoughts it was. This was going to fucking suck.

With that, the attention was finally off Draco's presence and excitedly fixed on Potter. Potter straightened his back and moved to the middle of the room, demanding everyone's attention. Where people had been questioning him before, he was now their teacher and no longer just a guy they went to classes with. Then again, Potter had never been just a guy they went to classes with.

Potter raised his voice, wand at the ready,demanding silence and attention. "The patronus is a powerful shield against Dementors. It is made entirely of positive feelings. They feed off happiness and leave only your darkest thoughts behind. When you create your patronus, it becomes a shield that they can feed off of instead. When I learned this spell, I was able to use my boggart because it actually takes the form of a Dementor. You all won't have that luxury."

He looked at them very seriously and no one dared to interrupt him again. In fact, they seemed very eager to learn. And Potter seemed quite insistent on showing off that day, because once he was done explaining the details of the patronus, of how it worked and what to focus on when one met a Dementor, he actually produced one for the class to see. Draco knew Potter as more of a modest guy. He didn't usually show off, unless it would piss Draco or Umbridge off. That was something Draco had understood after the war.

Of course, Draco had seen it before. The majestic creature that was Potter's patronus. The corporal light appeared in the form of a stag and what a beautiful sight it was to behold. It was, as Draco knew, a form taken in the image of Potter's father: James Potter, the animagus. The first time Draco had seen it had been during a Quidditch match, where he and his friends had pranked Potter into believing they were a dementor. Draco remembered how the light had blinded him back then, throwing him off of Vincent's shoulders. But the beauty of it had been clear to him even back then. It was for that reason alone that he hadn't managed to regret his little prank. Long after, someone had told him, more to annoy him than anything, that that had been the first time Potter had managed to create a corporal patronus. Draco couldn't remember who had tried to piss him off that time, but he remembered being very proud for reasons he hadn't been willing to analyse at the time.

"So, are you ready? Don't worry about not making it the first time around. This spell is pretty advanced," Potter explained and sent Draco an encouraging smile.

And in that moment, Draco understood what Potter was doing. Why he had chosen this lesson to show them that spell. He wanted to make Draco focus on the good things in his life. To not just worry about the bad memories but to find an anchor in the world. It was oddly considerate. And horrible as well since Draco had no such anchor.

Draco had lived longer than any of these kids. His future had never been very bright, not before and especially not after the war. Even now, as he had a chance to change the future, he could not see much of a reason to be happy. There was no Dementor needed to suck the luck out of him. Every memory, every thought Draco had, was tainted. Every possible outcome, every person who might survive because of him, was overshadowed with their death from the past, with the suffering of those that he couldn't and will fail to save.

What Draco had said to Chang the other day hung heavy over him. It reminded him of how little he had to gain in the war. The thing he had always wanted, the end of it all... was the very thing his messing with the past was putting in jeopardy.

His prediction came true. Draco tried the spell as Harry had instructed, but even the memory of Voldemort's defeat didn't have any effect. Draco doubted that he had any memories that could protect him from the dementors. True, genuine happiness... Draco couldn't even remember what it felt like. Helplessly he looked around to see how everyone else was faring.

Potter was currently trying to help Cho Chang with her spells. His presence seemed to be distracting her though. The others weren't fairing too well either yet, so Draco had a moment to breathe. Of course, Granger was one of the first to manage the spell somewhat accurately. Although without a form. By the time that Harry's round lead him to Draco, many of them had produced at least a lining of silver dust with some added guidance.

Harry encouragingly beamed at him. "Well, wanna try?"

Draco grimaced. "Let's get this over with. Expecto patronum!" And then, he kept failing. Not a slither of silver dust. It was like Draco had never had any magic to begin with.

"Well...," Potter sounded somewhat nervous for some reason. "You're doing the spell correctly, so there is no issue there. You need to really focus on something that makes you happy."

Draco send him a taunting grimace. "No shit, Potter." His arm already felt heavy from directing the wand in the air for so long. It shouldn't be as frustrating as it was but the glances around him, at him, some of which were likely just his imagination, made it all ten times harder. He had expected this. The problem was... all this talk of Dementors didn't really help him form positive thoughts. He just felt a really low churning in his stomach area. They had been so cold... so .... icy when they had been guarding the manor. Draco remembered how he had made fun of Potter for fainting in third year because of them. He felt like a horrible hypocrite.

Potter seemed to be reading his mind. "I know you struggle with happy thoughts. But there must be something. It doesn't have to be a real memory. It just needs to be something that makes you happy."

Draco growled to himself. He tried again. He tried envisioning the death of Voldemort, his very corpse, clearer this time. Defeating him hadn't been HIS doing, but the thought alone should make him happy enough, right? It should induce hope, right? "Expecto Patronum!" Nothing happened. Well... he hadn't been able to protect himself back at the manor either, no matter how many times he'd tried this spell back then. In fact, Draco didn't think any of the Death Eaters were capable of a patronus. Except for maybe Umbridge. But she had never even taken the mark. To be so evil, so spiteful, and find happiness in that... the woman disgusted Draco on so many levels.

Harry bit his lip. "You know... my first time I did a patronus, it wasn't exactly a happy memory I used. I imagined my parents. Just... being there. In a way, it was a rather sad idea."

Draco let his arm sink. "And how is that supposed to help? You're contradicting your own instructions, Potter!"

Harry shook his head. "No. It's just... Saying you need happy thoughts isn't quite accurate. It must be something...," he paused. "It needs to ground you. Against your fears."

"If I had that, I wouldn't have panic attacks," Draco snapped. He knew that his memories were currently interfering with his attempts to get through this whole thing. He shouldn't be getting angry but he couldn't help it. This was humiliating! And it almost felt like Potter was putting him through this on purpose. It sort of was, Potter had chosen this lesson for him, after all.

Potter violently bit his lip now. "You must have some kind of reason for joining our side. For leaving your family behind. Whatever it is, it is stronger than any of your fears."

Draco thought of the Dark Mark. Of not having it anymore. That was relief but it was a threatening one. It meant, he'd have to make that choice again, eventually. He tried the spell again. Nothing happened.

By now, everyone else was improving. Draco's struggles caught some attention, especially with the Weasley twins. Draco took another deep breath. Stronger than his fears. He needed to have something, anything, that was stronger than his fear. He had to have a reason to continue existing. What was stronger than his fears? Or was he just so terrified that one fear had overshadowed the other?

His parents could be his hope, his grounding memory. He was glad they somehow survived the last time around but there was no guarantee that they would again. And even if they did, their family would be as shattered and daunting as it had been since after the war. He will have done nothing to stop it. He will be at fault. Again.

Draco couldn't defeat the Dark Lord. His attempts to help may even backfire. Draco's existence was still a threat and the price his life cost was too high.

Draco tried to think of Potter surviving the Avada Kedavra again. But then he saw Potter handing him back his wand, never to be seen again, except for in the papers. Saw him wounded, and having lost so many of his friends for a war he never wanted to lead. That he had to lead because of Draco.

"I can't do it." He let down his wand. Just searching his mind felt like he was back again. He couldn't do this, he couldn't let go of the slither of control he had over his mind. He'd have another breakdown sooner than he could cast the spell.

Potter's encouraging smile fell. "There must be something. "It can be small. There aren't any dementors here. You should be able to do something in this room."

Draco looked down. So, now he disappointed Potter, too. Great. Draco bit his lip to not shout at the boy to shut the fuck up.

"Well... we'll figure something out. If you don't have any good memories, we can create some?" Potter was sending him a shy smile that made Draco nod weakly. He didn't want to disappoint Potter further, so he was glad when the boy finally moved on, albeit more bothered than when he'd approached.

In his stead, Neville walked over to Draco and send him a worried smile. "Is the future that bad?," he whispered. "I thought we win."

Draco closed his eyes and whispered back. "You do. But I won't. And there is no guarantee that you will win again. Not when I'm messing with the past as much as I am. Besides... my future still marks me as an ex Death Eater. Don't forget that."

Neville pressed his lips together and nodded. "WE will win, Draco. You're one of us now. Don't forget THAT."

Draco looked up and met Neville's glance. Right. He'd made a good choice, despite it all. Atoning for things. Helping out on the good side. It didn't erase what he'd done. But it was a start in the right direction. It meant he wasn't complete garbage yet. For fun, Draco tried casting the spell with that meager hope in his mind one last time. Of course, he failed again.

By the end of the lesson, Draco hadn't just not managed a meagre silver string. He felt darker on the inside than ever. He could vaguely see how some of the other students averted their gaze. Chang's, Draco noticed, lingered on him a bit longer than the others'.

In the following weeks, Umbridge's tyranny stepped up a notch. She couldn't do much with Dumbledore still present, but she certainly tried.
More and more Slytherin's began following her and do her bidding. Her followers even stood over the position of prefect. With that, Draco's entire function as a shield between Slytherins and the other houses had become pointless.

He had known this would happen, but he had attempted to last for as long as he could. It only added a bitter taste to the development. What's more, his obvious lack of enthusiasm for the cause put him in a rather unfortunate position himself.
Umbridge took notice. And suddenly Draco was at the centre of her attention. Her whole interrogation scheme that had once been lead by Draco, was now attuned to target him. Of course, knowing the things he did, Draco wisely took precautions before willingly drinking her Veritaserum laced teas by secretly providing the DA members with information and the recipes for the antidote.

Now, NO ONE would willingly drink anything that Draco handed out. Which was fair, considering what Draco had done to himself at the beginning of term. In fact, Draco hadn't brewed the tinctures himself, he'd had Granger and the Weasley twins assist him. The twins were already working on candy and other products to annoy Umbridge, they might as well create something that would reverse the effects of a truth serum and make it accessible and undetectable for everyone. That's how they managed to keep quiet without much inner fighting.

Draco kept talking to Cho Chang as well. Of course, always in a rather professional setting. He had to keep some kind of emotional distance between them, lest they ended up arguing agian. Those lessons, too, had to be transferred to the DA room, because Umbridge eventually decreed that students of opposite gender were not allowed to meet up in private. That was both sexist and heterophobic, but Draco had no choice but to abide to those rules. At least, for now.

It was during these times that Granger introduced him to the methods that the other DA members used to contact each other. She handed him a silver bracelet that apparently showed a time and date whenever it burned. It was a separate model to the ones they used for the other members, as Draco was given his own lessons, and therefore needed his own time schedule. Potter explained it to him during their next occlumency lesson, as Granger didn't want to risk talking about it in the hallways.

It was bloody brilliant is what it was, was what Draco thought when he understood it. It was kind of disguised as a friendship bracelet, since Potter wore a matching one. Which is why Draco intended to hide it, lest someone was going to misinterpret it for something more. He supposed it was smart enough, since something this obvious would never be mistaken for a secret communication device. There was just one problem...

"DA obviously stands for DA training. OC for occlumency lessons." Potter was showing him his own version and let the light reflect on it as he put his wand to it to make the initials change. "The number is for the period when we're gonna meet, and the letters after that are for the day of the week," Potter explained rather chipper. "For example, OC 1 WE would be occlumency lessons during the first period on the following Wednesday."

As Potter changed the numbers, Draco clenched his fist as the metal burned against his wrist. "I see." Draco was distracted by the familiar sensation. The bracelet was a simple string with a few Muggle jewellery thingies on them. Sarah would have loved those in his past life. The letters were quite inconspicuous unless you paid them attention but the burn... His eyes widened and he almost shook the bloody thing off of him. Granger. Of course, only BLOODY GRANGER would come up with something so brilliant, so - cruel. This was the same spell that had been placed on Voldemort's mark. This burn was the same one that Draco had wished to get away from for over twelve years. And she, that brilliant woman, had hung it back around his wrist. Draco wanted to vomit. Wanted to... He ripped his mind away from the spiralling thoughts.

"This isn't to distract me from invading your mind, is it? Did you even practice?" They had already been wasting about fifteen minutes with the instruction of the bracelet. Potter's smile was mischievous, which was answer enough. In fact, Potter hadn't been improving the way he was supposed to since their first lesson, to the point where it was almost frustrating. Draco got the feeling that Potter was getting worse, actually. It was like Potter wanted him in his mind, searching around and prying into things.

"Maybe?" Potter grinned at him like it was funny that he wasn't taking this whole thing seriously.

So, Draco decided to attack Potter more directly. "Alright. We're done with puppy training, Potter."

"What?," Potter startled.

"I'm not going to stop myself from digging into your most private memories anymore. It appears you need to be pushed. You need to identify me as a threat, so that's what I'll become."

"But... I thought I was getting better at it? You said I was getting better."

"You are getting better at detecting me. But you don't try to stop me. You need to really drive me out of your head. You've grown too comfortable," Draco scolded him.

Potter pouted and mumbled something under his breath. But then he relaxed and nodded. "I'm ready."

Draco narrowed his eyes. "No. No, you're really not." Because Potter couldn't imagine what an invasion like this could do to someone. Potter had no idea.

And so he dove in. And he dug in deep. Moved past unreasonable memories like Potter evading his cousin in elementary. He dug really deep into Potter's subconscious, beyond the closet Potter had lived in as a child. He visited the latest memories of the Dark Lord. The fight last year, in which Potter saw visions of his parents. Looked further into the time travel of Harry and Hermione in third year. Which was interesting, but not relevant to this case. He dug deeper into Potter in the chamber of secrets. With Ginny Weasley dying and Fawkes appearing to save the day. He leaned into the memory of Quirrel who nearly exploded when he touched Potter directly. And further into Ronald almost dying during a giant chess game. Despite the risk of those memories triggering Draco's own trauma, he continued, dug deeper, intending to hurt, to damage.

But Potter took it with little to no resistance. Draco dug deeper into the past. Into the screams of Potter's mother that he heard when Dementor's attacked him. Envisioned the things Potter thought of, when seeing them. His happy place to defeat them. Memories he couldn't have had since he had been nothing more than a baby at the time.

Draco nudged Potter in the side and yet there was still no resistance. Quite the opposite,in fact. Draco pulled out of his mind and stared at Harry.

Harry blinked his eyes open and had the audacity to look surprised. "Didn't you say I wasn't prepared?"

"The hell are you showing me all that for? Have you forgotten why you're here?"

Potter huffed. "Well... my dreams haven't stopped, and I'm here to stop them from happening."

"Potter, you need to kick me OUT of your mind!," Draco urged, feeling somewhat panicked at Potter's lack of care. "Not present your memories to me like a foto album!"

"I know. I know. But you don't FEEL like a threat to me."

Draco pulled at his own hair. "I made a mistake. I should have let Snape do it. This is ridiculous. You're not even trying anymore." Potter had given up! He wasn't even trying. He didn't see Draco has a threat and now he'd never learn how to close his mind. Voldemort couldn't be stopped. Draco's breathing became heavy. All those memories of Potter were taking a number on Draco and he could feel his own mind spiral.
No no no no no! He couldn't let Voldemort see another of his breakdowns, not yet, not now. Draco's mind emptied on reflex and he pulled himself back up to look at Potter. Calm. Draco needed to be calm. He who does not move will survive. He who abides to the rules will prevail. In war, only two kinds of people live. The strong and the cowards, and Draco counted himself among the latter.

"That's not fair. I AM trying."

Potter's comment brought Draco back somewhat, but he kept his expression still. He took a deep breath. "The last memory you had was something you weren't even focusing on that much to begin with. I could barely grasp it. You PUSHED to show me. That is the exact OPPOSITE of what you should be doing."

Potter pouted. "Well, PERHAPS I kind of wanted to show you how to deal with Dementors."

Draco watched him, trying to cool his growing fury. "Potter, these lessons are not about me! They are meant to PROTECT you!"

"And DA lessons are meant to protect YOU!"

There was a pause in which they both glared at each other. "This is stupid. Potter, that's DA lessons, this is occlumency. Don't get that mixed up!"

Harry laughed, then scowled before he jumped to his feet. "I'M mixing things up? So I'm supposed to ignore that you secretly meet up with Cho?"

Draco blinked. Now that was an odd way to change the subject. Since when had that been an issue anyway? "Excuse me? What does THAT have to do with anything? I'm helping her with her feelings, so she and you can -"

"You have NO RIGHT to interfere in my relationships!", Potter suddenly shouted. "That is NOT your place! You're my FRIEND. To HER you should be a friend as well! You're too close to me to get to her like that. You're putting yourself between us, when you shouldn't! You're playing god! You tell me I'm not her therapist, but neither can YOU be, when you look into my mind once a week! You're blurring the lines!!! You're telling both of us what to do. We're not chess pieces!"

"I'm trying to help you!" That stung more than it should have. Draco was really trying to do the right thing. And Cho Chang DID need help. This wasn't JUST about Potter. But Potter still had a point.

"I don't WANT you to help me!"

Draco deflated. "You're upset. You need to calm down. I can't invade your mind, when -"

It must have been the wrong thing to say. "No? I thought that was the bloody POINT! To invade my mind when I'm most vulnerable! Voldemort isn't giving me time to BREATHE! He doesn't CARE about my feelings!" Potter stepped forward and his eyes gleamed with something that reminded Draco oddly of Severus.

Draco shook his head. "I won't do it, Potter. That shit can be really damaging -"

Potter puffed out his chest, confident in how humorous he found this conversation. "What? You've already seen everything that's in my head! You've even seen me kissing Cho Chang and said nothing. You've already rummaged through EVERY shelf in my head and I am not ashamed of a single one of these thoughts! How DAMAGING can it be if you invade my mind now? Again? As you have for the past couple weeks? When you already know me inside and out?" Potter raised his wand and there was frustrated anger in his mind. "Why don't you show me what you're so afraid of!" And then, Potter did something unexpected and unforgivable. "Legilimens!"

Potter's spell hit Draco like an explosion. For a moment, Draco felt himself floating in the moment. He wasn't worried, just surprised. He always had his walls up. He was save. His mind was save because Draco could keep his walls up in his sleep. He wouldn't ever let them down. He wasn't that reckless. But Potter knocked them down as if they weren't there... Because... They hadn't been there.

The room of requirements melted into the manor.

The sky was stormy. It was always stormy outside, had been for months. Draco watched through the white painted windows of the manor. If he looked outside, he didn't have to watch Nagini feast on the corpse of that poor girl on their breakfast table. Like this, he only heard the screams between the lighting cracks. Like this, he could focus on the cold, the hopelessness as Dementors swished past the glass. It made Draco wonder sometimes. If they fed on happiness, then what were they feeding off here?

Draco was in the gardens as he saw the first muggleborns pushed into a circle. They were executed one by one by one. Bellatrix loved her games. Loved playing with her knife as she sliced them open. Muggle torture for muggles. It would be ironic if it wasn't such a gruesome sight. Granger's wound, spelling out 'mudblood' flickered in and out of his mind. Their blood stained the flowers that Bellatrix loved so much, covered the kitchen floor while one of their captives wiped the ground with a never ending bloody cloth. The poisonous plants whose pollen probably shouldn't even be breathed in blossomed under the attention, glowing bright red whenever a new person died. "It's your turn, Draco!," Bella singsonged and handed him the bloody knife.

Draco was in the middle of his old living room when the Dark lord himself grabbed his arm. Draco's arm was stretched out for him, naked and unmarked for the last time as the Dark Lord burned the skeleton and the snake into his skin. "You make your parents so proud, Draco." Draco remembered being proud, he remembered being petrified, and he remembered screaming when the mark was edged and burned into his skin. It felt like it was burned into his soul.

One moment later, he could hear water streaming beside him. As Draco looked up, he saw his own tear stained face looking back at him. The vanishing cabinet! He was failing! He needed to figure this out, for the Dark Lord, for his parents, anyone! He just needed to - Emerald eyes. "Sectumsempra!"

Dumbledore's blue eyes bored into Draco's next. Glassy, dead, as he fell off the astronomy tower. It was like time had slowed. Draco's wand lowered, not even sure what he was seeing. His mission had been fulfilled. It was over. He could go home. But he hadn't fulfilled his mission. Draco had failed and Voldemort would not be pleased when he heard about what had happened.

Draco screamed as he pulled his mind out of it. It was a violent act. One he had perfected in his many sleepless nights. It was easier to prevent someone from getting in than pushing them out, but he could do it and he fought and wrung with Potter's invasion as much as he could. When Draco came to, he was standing upright, with no recollection of when he'd pushed himself up or when he had grabbed his wand, or when he'd punched Potter in the face. He was breathing heavily, his wand pointed at Potter who was holding a hand to a bloody but seemingly unbroken nose. Anger. Fear. Pain blinded him.

Potter stared at him. Eyes wide and unblinking. He looked almost scared. "What on earth -"

Draco panicked. He grabbed his wand tighter. Because if Harry had seen that, then that meant that so had Voldemort.

"You're a ... but that doesn't.... you don't have a mark. And Hermione doesn't HAVE a scar like that either. What ...." Potter stepped back. "What did I just see?"

Draco didn't know what had just happened. He hadn't let his guard down in years. And now he let it down in the middle of occlumency training with Potter? Since when had he grown comfortable around him? Since when had Draco been so careless?

"Draco. What was that?" Potter sounded so helpless. So guilty.

Draco would love to tell him. Would love to punch him again as well. And both of that surprised him. He wanted to confide in Potter for reasons completely unbeknownst to him. But... That act just now... that was a betrayal of the upmost kind. Draco couldn't just move past that. "Get out.."

"Draco -"

"I can't tell you ANYTHING while HE'S LISTENING!," Draco was yelling now. His mind ran a mile a minute, trying to make sense of what had just occurred. He needed time to figure this out, to calm down, to find a solution. But time was a luxury he didn't have. Not when Potter was so desperate for answers.

Potter stepped back further. For reasons even less understandable to Draco, there were tears glistening in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- I am trying! I WANT this to work." Potter wanted to be trusted. But right now, Draco didn't think he deserved that.

Draco glared at him. It may be too late to keep Potter out, but he hadn't learned of the Horkruxes yet and that, Draco knew, was more important than anything else. If Potter wanted to join that hunt, then he needed to stop Voldemort from figuring things out. They needed to keep that knowledge from him. "Then fucking fight me! NOW!" And for the first time, Draco directed his wand at Potter and yelled the spell he usually sneaked up with. "LEGILIMENS."

Suddenly, he was back in Potter's mind, broke through his barried with as much force as he dared. The thoughts were swirling in confusion. Then, they focused on Draco.

Grey irises with all the tiny patterns inside, blond styled hair and lean hands. Smiles, laughter, frowns, snorts and wistful glances that were as clear as day in Potter's mind. The clearest of them being the anger that Draco radiated as of now. Potter had never been more focused on the then and now than he had at that moment but it didn't keep out everything.

There was the moment in Madam Hopfkirchs' store where they had both met for the first time before they had even been sorted into their Hogwarts houses. Before they had even been to Hogwarts. Draco sputtering nonsensical bigotry about Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors. The scene turned to second year where Draco was talking about how Potter couldn't impossibly be the heir of Slytherin, laughing at the idea. There was third year when Hermione punched him in the face, from Potter's perspective. Last year, when Draco made everyone wear the 'Potter stinks' badges. Draco, sitting in a tree, spouting nonsense at him.

And then there was Draco on the train. Bursting in, with a haunted look in his eyes, worryingly sick, as he demanded to talk with Neville. The moment focused on Draco alone. On the clear challenge in his eyes, as he surrendered his wand to Potter. The scene changed to Draco and Potter at the Gryffindor table, where Draco looked haunted and starved and tried so hard to swallow something down as he had been told but couldn't. It changed to Draco poisoning himself in potions and Potter carrying him to the medical wing in a panic. Draco's eyes white, foam coming from his mouth. It changed to St. Mungo's where Draco hugged Potter back for that one brief moment. It skipped to the first occlumency lessons. Where Harry tried to focus on his surroundings but all he could focus on where Draco's eyes, his hair, the details of his clothes that were slightly too big for his lean figure. Draco had told him to focus on the room but Potter had focused on Draco instead. Focused on Draco's kind voice in his head, asking him to be let in, to be trusted. It changed to their breathing exercises in Grimmauld place where Draco told Potter that he was a hero, that the choices he had already made were the ones that defined him, not the choices people expected him to make in the future.

The memory turned to their meet up in the Gryffindor tower, where Draco was arguing that he was a better match for Potter than Cho Chang was. Potter looked deep into the greys of his eyes again, as if drawn to them. As if trying desperately find the flaw in Draco's logic and finding none.

And that was the moment, Potter really tried to pull out. It had something of a scared animal, when he pushed and writhed and kicked Draco out of his head. FINALLY.

When they got back to themselves, Potter was somehow beat red and pale at the same time. He blinked himself awake. There was no celebrating. There was only fear and ironically, this was when he finally, visibly seemed to understand what Draco had meant with 'damage'.
Draco stared at him. Saw embarrassment and fear in Potter's usually so open eyes.

"Today's lesson is over, Potter."

Potter's shoulders sunk. He opened his mouth and then promptly thought better of it. He turned on his heels, grabbed his jacket and practically sprinted out of the room. Draco remained there, fearing what his slip up may cost.