I LOVE MY NAN!
Warnings: Cursing.
Ages: 14.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kyle's POV.

I get a call from Stan, he's in Britain with his family (one's he never met.)

"Hi Stan!"

He falls off the chair.

"STOP MAKING ME LAUGH! I'M CALLING MY BEST FRIEND! I KNOW! JUST STOP!"

He's laughing very loudly.

"I'm just saying! It's stupid to ask me to buy these peanuts! I don't have teeth to eat them! What the fuck do I need them for?"

Stan is bend over, laughing.

"STAN! WHAT IS IT?" I ask.

"My nan has a phone."

"That's not funny."

"And she got an app that tests your knowledge but it's free."

"Keep going."

"And this app has a 5 rounds per hour rule.... unless you buy 'peanuts' the currency of the game. With real money obviously."

"Yeah?"

"Well nan got real pissed at it and just said, out loud, probably to joke with me, 'If I'm playing a quiz called senior I most likely do not have the teeth to eat those peanuts. What are they for?' And yesterday there was this shopkeeper, he yelled at nan something like 'Hey, sexy Lady, do you want—?' And nan SLAPPED that bitch. I got real awkward and said, 'no thank you, sir.' And there was laughter everywhere."

"Why was this funny?"

"So I..... I said 'Hey sexy lady wanna buy some peanuts' and we've been laughing unhealthily much at these peanuts for about ten minutes. Then I realised I was meant to call you and you are—."

I look at the bowl next to me, they're peanuts. And that's the moment I burst out laughing.

"Kyle, I love you with everything in my heart right now!"

My heart starts racing.

"You do huh?"

Stan smiles before straightening in his chair, taking a notebook from under his bag.

"So............"

"Peanuts."

"GOD DAMN YOU, NAN!"

I laugh, watching them interact. Reminds me of my me and my grandma, we were both just like that, joking as fuck with a loving tone.

"But really. These were the homework you've told me."

I nod and he looks through.

"Stops on April 13rd. Kyle, we're missing three weeks. Can you tell me what homework we go?"

"A photo project. You have the registering for the website, just um... look for non-copyrighted pictures that answer to questions about you yourself."

Stan nods.

"Math... we had a test about those things. It has yet to be okay because my classes of math were cut for theatre, y'know, last three weeks everyone has been thrown out of their classes to do projects towards the Fourth of July celebration. It's celebrated the day but we have to get ready early. We have a play about the revolutionary war, that being the freedom war. I um.... may or may not be cast as Aaron Burr while Kenny is Gilbert Lafayette. And there may or may not be huge amounts of 'Oh shit I fucked you' eye contact on stage where both of us just get into the idea that 'yeah hi, the two of us have been fucking lately'. It's weird in itself but apparently, according to Wendy, people might just start thinking we're a couple but like NOPE, I'm happy with what we got! It's nice I guess, can't wait to have you back!"

Stan nods again.

"Sorry, I'm talking too much!" I say.

He shakes his head.

"It's adorable!"

I blush again, this time less notable.

"So um... that all?"

"Yeah! Teacher's been going easy in us!"

I smile brightly. Stan nods and takes notes.

"Blimey! It was so much easier in the 1970's!"

Stan groans.

"What is it nan?"

"This bastard won't be brighter!"

"Nan, swipe up from the down, there's a sun, rise that to the top!"

"You're a darling, Stanley!"

"Thanks nan!"

I laugh.

"Now this cunt is telling me to buy the peanuts again! Dear Lord, this phone wants a lot of peanuts! Doesn't it know it's gonna get poisoning?"

Stan chuckles.

"Click the X."

"Oh dear! I've hit 3 X's and they just keep coming!"

"Go help out your nan," I say.

"Granny, it's actually easy!"

He disappears. Did I hear that right? HIS ACCENT IS BECOMING BRITISH! They have corrupted him, those cunts! No, shit.

"I'm back, I'm bigender and I'm British!"

"The holy B's," I say.

"Not the beees!"

Both of us start laughing to hell.

"I miss you, Stan!"

He stops.

"I miss you too. It's your birthday soon, the first one without me since.... I don't even know."

I chuckle.

"No, you're going to be on video call until I fucking fall asleep, or you, depends on the timing. I'm not letting you get away from my birthday, no matter the age or the place you live! You can fucking live in the Philippines and be a druggie, i'm not letting you off it!"

He chuckles.

"Mate, don't worry about it, I'll gladly put drugs second for you!"

"You better! I'm the best thing in your goddamn life and you ain't getting anybody better!"

Stan laughs.

"You are. Really, I love you."

I blush a little, looking down at my feet in silence.

"Cat caught your tongue?" He asks.

"Fuck you."

He laughs.

"Stan! I'm gonna make food! Anything you'd like, Dear?"

"Ah, anything nan, doesn't matter really!"

Aw, this is adorable.

"Oh okay. You're vegetarian, no?"

"I try to be, animals shouldn't be—."

His nan just walks away.

"PETA shit," I say.

"PETA kills animals. I prefer not to actually work with the company at all."

I laugh.

"You're fucking adorable."

"Aw. You're saying I'm adorable?"

I nod, smiling a little.

"Now. Fuck me—."

"A bit far, otherwise I would though."

"I like you, I don't know when I stated but I like you one HELL of a lot more than I like my friends..... like. You know, okay? I'm not good at this!"

Stan smiles.

"I like you too, Ky."

I smile as well.

"KYLE IT'S NIGHTTIME!"

I wave.

"Bye, Love," Stan says.

"Bye," I answer, closing the call.