"Orange? Or red?" Lucy held one dress in each hand at her sides, biting her lower lip and she looked between the two gowns indecisively.

I shook my head, refraining from rolling my eyes. "Neither."

When I saw her shoulders sulk and disappointment in her eyes, I continued, "Our objective is to blend in as well as we can. Not stand out. The darker the color, the better."

"Yeah," she sighed hanging the dress back where it belonged, "you're right."

The initiation was to be presented in the form of a masquerade ball, which was both beneficial and detrimental to our plan. It would be easy to conceal our identities, but difficult to pick out the enemies.

My fingers ran across the row of dresses, not particularly interested in one. I was always picky, especially when it came to dresses, and it would be difficult to find one equally extravagant and easy to fight in. This little boutique was the only option we had in such little time. Six days until hell broke loose. And we had to dress the part.

Finally, my eyes landed on a black dress peeking out from the corner of the row. I carefully removed it from the rack and held it in front of me.

The satin ballgown was floor-length and had full sleeves made from lace that extended towards the neckline, and there was a silver diamond belt at the waist. It was simple, yet beautiful and elegant.

The long sleeves could be used to conceal weapons, and I could create pockets inside the gown for more gadgets.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Lucy squealed, by my side within seconds, startling me. Her eyes were wide and she nodded her head vigorously. "Please try that one on!"

So I did. I found myself in the dressing room with the dress hugging my body, looking better than I'd expected it to. It was a second skin to my curves, but modest enough to not draw attention. The last time I'd worn a dress so fancy was at my mother's promotion dinner, and I couldn't help but wonder what she would've thought of this one.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the room to be met with Oliver and Thomas, who were gracing tuxedos. I didn't bother to look at Thomas, and focused on my friend, who spun around for me to get a look at the entire ensemble.

"What do ya think?" He grinned cheekily, putting all of his weight on his left foot and placing his hands on the flaps of the jacket as if he was a model. Which he easily could have been. The elegant black suit matched his jet black hair, and the blue tie complimented his light eyes.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lucy's cheeks redden at the sight of him. She was wearing a dark mauve dress similar to mine, but with a plunging neckline and no belt. It was gorgeous on her.

"Perfect," I directed the complement towards Oliver, then looked at Lucy as she tried to recover from her blush, "and you look fantastic, Lucy."

Oliver nodded in agreement, making the poor girl's blush deepen a few shades of red.

"Where's the third musketeer?" Lucy asked, her eyes pleading for me to change the subject.

"Zara, could you go help him out with the tie?" Oliver smirked down at me, knowing too well what he was doing.

"You better stop playing games with me, Fleming," I punched his ribs a little forcefully, eliciting a grunt from him, and walked into the bright dressing room to see Silas standing in front of the large mirror. His hands were fumbling with his tie, and his eyebrows were furrowed as he stared down at his neck.

Taking a deep breath, I managed to walk over to his side.

Since my breakdown after our meeting with Arc, things were... different between Silas and me. Quiet. Not in the awkward way they were before, but it felt as if our silence spoke much louder than our words ever could. I stopped questioning his presence, and he continued to prove himself useful.

I cleared my throat, and his head snapped up, eyes meeting mine. A small smile conquered his lips at the sight of me, and he stared at my dress with wonderment in his eyes. Shaking his head, he snapped himself back to reality.

"Do you know how to tie a tie?" He asked meekly, dropping his hands in defeat.

I stepped up onto the platform, gathering the ball gown in my fists so I wouldn't trip.

"You know how to hack an international database secured by dozens of firewalls and passwords, but you don't know how to tie a tie?"

He bit his lip to refrain from laughing and nodded solemnly. "Nobody's perfect."

I suppressed a smile and took the red tie into my hands, wrapping it around his neck once and creating a knot at the top. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time, and for some reason, my stomach churned at our proximity.

"How do you know how to do this?" Silas asked, snapping out of whatever trance he was in, "boyfriend from your past?"

Surprised that he dared to ask the question, I tightened the fabric a bit too tightly on purpose, resulting in an "ow!" from him. "Agents don't have time to date."

My dating life was basically nonexistent. The truth was that I was always so busy being the best agent I could be that dating was a distraction, which may have been a factor in why my caliber was so high.

"Oliver and Maya do." 

I peered up at him, our minty breaths mingling as he grinned innocently at me. What he was getting at, I didn't know. And where this sudden courage came from--I was even more clueless. 

"Stay in your lane, Bridges," I uttered through a clenched jaw, my hands lingering on his collar, even though I'd finished with the tie. 

The old Silas would have been put off by my threatening tone, but he didn't seem afraid. He was amused as he snatched his gaze from mine and looked to our right at something, while I simply stared at my hands, which were playing with his collar. 

Confused by his lack of response, I looked up at his expression, which had fallen serious, and followed his gaze to see that he'd been staring at the mirror.

"What are you..." my words trailed off into silence as I studied our reflections. Silas stood about four inches taller than me, my hands on his tie, body inches away from his, which was gracing an elegant black tuxedo. His light complexion against my darker one seemed to compliment each other, and the way my hands rested on him made it seem... affectionate. Our gazes met in the mirror, and simultaneously, both of us pulled away when Oliver's whistle rang through the air.

He was standing at the door, leaning against the frame, and had clearly seen what we'd seen. "Practicing for the ball, I see."

* 

08.14.2017

... Zara, do you remember your sixteenth birthday party? It was your favorite one because of the gift you'd received. You didn't ask for a car, cellphone, or some other materialistic item like most teenagers do. 

You wanted a spot on the Wave Taskforce. The one that was headed to Japan that summer for a classified mission, and you got it. Because no one denies your wishes.

Looking back at it, I haven't been a very good mother to you. Instead of sheltering you from danger, I threw you right into the middle of it. To the wolves. Because it was what you wanted.

I wish I could have given you a normal life; I wish I'd had the choice to give you a chance at regular school, applying to colleges, and meeting a special someone. I apologize that I was never able to do that for you, and I pray that one day you'll be able to experience what normal is.

Your father hurt me. A lot. I found myself compensating for it by loving you more than I loved anything else, but am I a terrible person for not regretting the amazing times we shared before it all went to hell? Am I a terrible person to sometimes miss the man that tried to destroy me?

It's just the way love works, I guess. And when you find it, be careful, but don't let my experiences ruin your expectations. The man who will love you will be special because it'll mean he's daring, and he's accepted a challenge that no one has been able to complete. 

I hope that one day I'll get to witness it for myself, but with the events happening now, I fear that this day may not come. I'm watching you right now, you know? I'm sitting in Jupiter, and I don't think you know I'm here. You're laughing with James and Parker about who knows what. Oh, wait. I think you're making fun of Maya, because she just pouted and left.

I hope that life keeps you laughing. And although we don't lead lives that allow for many moments like these, when you find someone you can laugh with and cry with, hold on to him...

(A/N)
UGHH why did I get emotional writing this?

VOTE/COMMENT as always! More chapters to come soon x