I thought I'd be building up to something, not tearing so much down. Reeva liked to say it was all for building a future. That no matter what was done to build the foundation, I would be forgiven. There were so many lies, so many people died, and I...helped put things in motion. We freed people from the institution to save Rebecca and just let them spill out. To be killed, caught again or go who knows where....

I thought I was strong when I stood by Reeva when Marcos was brought in. I didn't do a damn thing other than take a few steps. To get to her, if he hurt me, I would've deserved it back then.

Destroying the center that controlled all the collars let out the innocent and the guilty. I was even impressed by the worst ones to join our ranks. Who did things for payback or just because they could. The perfect examples, the worst of us all, are out there. 

I did think of how many kids like me and Rebecca are out there. I'm hoping at least one pair had the chance to run off together.

I made excuses for people, believed in them. I did talk about the kid I used to be. When I was genuine and wanted to connect. Then I was just making a divide. Or making one worse like the one with my family. We were stubborn, but I was stupid.

I didn't help rock the boat or chart off a new course. I helped sink it.

I have to keep going. The world is on fire, not just because of Lorna. I have to help smother the chaos, the carnage. I have to be better, build something. There's never going to be a utopia, and if I let myself follow orders, let people pull my heartstrings there will just be a dystopia.  I know my family's forgiven me. I can't forgive myself, not yet. But if I can convince or take down even a few people like me. I can start.

Inspired by these speech from a show I'm watched -Kamen rider Geats

Are you trying to justify what you did to her?

If we don't fight there will be more victims.

Your then one creating victim's here.