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October 18

"Taylor? Can I ask you something?"

Shane surprises me by his question and I look at him, nodding self-consciously. He keeps his gaze fixed out of the windshield as if he's trying to give me space.

"Remember how you asked me if I'd tell you if I want to hurt myself?" he says. "Would you do the same? I mean ..." He glances my way. "Would you tell me?"

If I was uneasy before, I'm plain baffled now. I don't know what gave him the idea that I might want to hurt myself, but honestly, I would never do that. I don't want to cause anyone the pain I know so well about.

"I don't intend to hurt myself," I admit truthfully. "I wouldn't do that to anyone."

Shane's eyes revolve to meet mine and I look away, refusing to meet his gaze.

"And you'd also tell me if you're ever hurting?" he adds.

I don't know what to say so I simply nod, hoping he'll let it go. Thankfully he does, stopping the car in front of my house after a long, silent ride. The minutes tick by slowly and I've never experienced such a distanced silence from Shane. Even when we spoke for the first time, he was easy to talk to. Now, though, I feel something standing between us.

Maybe it's just my own fears.

"I'll be here at eight tomorrow to pick you up," he says as I unbuckle my belt.

"You don't need to," I say. "I can get someone to drive me --" I change my mind, realizing my parents probably won't be available "-- or just walk."

Shane smiles. "It's fasting blood sugars. I don't want a repetition of today's incident so no thank you."

I scowl at him. "I'm not some damsel in distress, Shane Gray."

"Oh, I know."

I narrow my eyes some more, pretty sure he's mocking me now. "Fine. You know you're really bossy."

"I'm a lot of things, wait till you get to know me," he teases, his eyes glimmering with amusement.

Is it strange for me to feel curious?

"You want to come in?" I ask before I can stop myself. "I mean, for some tea or something?" I mentally smack myself for how lame that sounds.

"I would love to, but I have to get back." He grimaces. "Game night."

"Oh, right, Friday." I nod quickly, throwing open the door and jumping out. His explanation is perfectly legitimate and yet I feel disappointed, which makes me hate how desperate I'm growing. "Thanks for today."

He rolls his eyes, smiling and waving as I slam the door shut behind me. I don't wait for him to speak but he winds down the window and calls after me.

"Take care of yourself, she who finds gray worth it!"

I snort, turning around to look at a beaming Shane. "You are too weird!"

"You're too cute, you don't see me complaining."

Before I can appropriately -- or inappropriately -- respond to his highly surprising and very light comment, Shane rolls the window shut and spins his giant car around, driving down my street at the speed of light. I barely get a moment to digest his words, a smile sliding onto my face by a will of its own.

Shane Gray thinks I'm cute.

The thought stays with me for the rest of the day and the entire night. Even when I wake up the next morning and throw open my wardrobe, searching for something nice, his voice echoes in my head and smile flickers before my eyes. I keep telling myself the grumbling of my stomach is because of hunger and not because I'm half-excited half-nervous to see Shane today. Honestly, it doesn't even make sense. I've met Shane more times than I can count now and there has never been any nervousness involved.

At exactly eight, I peek out of my window and see his familiar Navigator standing outside the gate of my house. Blowing out a breath, I glance at myself one last time in the mirror and leave my room. Mom and Dad are already gone wherever they had to get on Saturday morning, and the house is quiet when I leave.

Only to realize it's so cold outside.

"Holy shit, there goes my style," I mumble, running back inside to grab a hoodie and pull it over the top I spent over fifteen minutes picking out.

"You look nice dressed for a hospital date," is the first thing Shane says when I get into his car.

I nearly choke on air.

Laughing a little, Shane revs the car to life and fiddles with the radio so that some slow philosophical song begins to play. He lowers the volume so that it's only a hum in the background. As for me, I do a quick scan of Shane to notice anything out of the ordinary. He's dressed as always, his white joggers matching the white button-down that fits him just enough to bring out his lean muscles but not be incredibly tight, black pants that shouldn't be worn on an ordinary day because they're just that sleak, and hair ruffled perfectly. A long black coat hangs on behind his seat and I wonder if he's got plans to be somewhere later on.

Maybe on a hospital date.

I don't say it, though, turning away to look out of the window. Shane drives us to the hospital and we go inside. I don't know where anything is so he's the one who leads me down a corridor. The male nurse asks what we need done and I tell him so that he gets me to sit in one of the small plastic chairs that feel way too wobbly to me. Shane stands beside me while I fill in some forms and then the man goes to get some things, returning a few minutes later carrying a tray or needles and injections.

My eyes widen.

"You okay?" Shane asks softly, probably noticing me shifting uneasily in my seat.

"Yeah," I lie, eyeing the needle the nurse tears open and corks upon the empty syringe.

"Are you afraid of needles?" Shane whispers.

I cough out a laugh. "No," I pause, "maybe?"

Keeping my gaze on the nurse who comes over to me and tells me to extend a hand, I expect Shane's to laugh. He doesn't, though, and when the nurse taps some wet cotton on the veins popping on the inside of my elbow joint, I feel Shane slide closer. Bending sideways, he slides his fingers through mine, shocking me.

"You want to hear how the game went yesterday?" he asks.

I nod, swallowing, and that's the only signal Shane apparently needs. He's off talking, telling me every technical throw of every throw in yesterday's game. As the nurse approaches me and poises the tip of the needle on my skin, I hold my breath and focus on Shane. It's harder focusing on his words because I can barely make sense of most of what he's saying, bits his warm hand holding my clammy one is enough to distract me when the needle piercess my skin and when blood fills up the transparent syringe. The nurse holds some cotton to the red spot and slaps a band-aid onto it.

"But we won so it worked out in the end," Shane concludes just as the nurse fills out a receipt and hands it to me.

"You'll get it Monday morning," the nurse tells me.

"Thanks," I mumble, getting to my feet, hyper-aware of Shane's hand still holding mine. He doesn't let go even as we walk out of the hospital and back to the car, at which point I finally pull out my disgustingly sweaty hand out of his.

"Where are we going for breakfast?" Shane asks as we get into the car, avoiding each other's gaze. Or maybe he's completely normal and I'm the one avoiding it.

"You can just take me back home," I say.

Shane hums, twisting in his seat so that he can reach into the pocket of his coat. He extracts something and holds it out to me.

"Chocolate makes everything better, remember?" he points out, indicating the bar of snickers in his hand. "Glucose, energy, happiness. It gives you all. And it's free so that's even better."

I smile despite myself, chuckling at his comically advertising tone. I take the chocolate bar from him, staring at it.

"What's wrong?" Shane asks. "You've been ... kind of different lately."

I swallow, putting the chocolate bar in my pocket.

"You keep doing and saying things that make me feel awkward and I don't know how to respond," I answer truthfully.

"What did I do?" he asks, sounding confused.

"Well, all this." I flap my hands around the car. "Carrying me to the medical center, driving me home, bringing me here today. I mean, I know you'd probably do it for anyone because you're generally a nice person but --"

"You think I'd do it for anyone?" Shane chuckles, starting the car and turning into the road. "How many girls have you seen me driving around and bringing chocolate for, Taylor?"

My heart jumps into my throat, suffocating me so that my voice catches and my face turns red.

"That's even weirder," I choke out. "Why are you doing it all for me?"

"Because you're a nice person who deserves niceness," he says.

"Well, I'm not used to it," I argue, looking at Shane at least. "It's creeping me out, stop."

Shane meets my eyes, unsmiling.

"That's sad," he comments.

"What's sad?"

"That you're not used to people being nice to you," he says seriously. "Everyone deserves people being nice to them. Especially you because you've been nothing but nice to me."

I open my mouth and close it again, lost for words.

"Well?" he presses.

"See, this is what I'm talking about." I huff. "Now I don't know what to say."

Shane laughs, a lively, contagious sound that's better than the music playing in the background. No matter how tingly I feel inside, I can't help the smile that automatically slides onto my face. Now that he's mentioned it, I wonder if the uncertainty is one-sided after all. Shane's just being Shane.

Stopping the car outside my house after a few minutes, Shane turns in his seat to stare me in the face.

"Well, I was kind of hoping we'd have breakfast together," he tells me, "and didn't have breakfast. So, I'm having serious caffeine withdrawal right now and might pass out soon if I don't get some coffee."

I smile. "I can make you some." I point a thumb at my house.

He beams. "I was hoping yesterday's offer would still stand," he admits jokingly before adding in a serious tone, "your parents won't mind?"

"They aren't even home," I tell him, pushing open the door. "Besides, it's not like we're on a date or anything."

Shane sighs exaggeratedly and I'm not sure how to interpret it. I end up getting out of the car and beckoning him to follow. He does, and I unlock my house door and lead him inside.

Only then do I realize what's actually happening.

Shane Gray is inside my house.

And we're not on a date.

Though, I'll still hope we are.

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A/N: Next chapter is IT, guys! Eep! I'm freaking out. Can't wait to see how you guys react to it. Also, can we just take a moment to talk about how adorable Shane is? I love how nice he is to Taylor. I'm also sort-of in-love with Taylor because she's just a nice, wholesome person so I don't even care if you hate her. She's my character and I love everyone in this freaking story (except Riley's dad, duh!) ❤️