Have to go out later..

Really dont want to go.

It's not the company, they are amazing peeps. It's just I've had a really tough time the last few months and I really do find it scary. Its the town or area where it all happened too me.

I'm so appreciated that I'm even being snuck in so certain eyes don't see me.
I feel like I'm in the Welsh version of James Bond...PMSL

Call me Mrs Moneypenny..

No seriously I am excited to go tonight but I'm also weary of getting reminded of everything I forgot so I could move on.
It's a big place but everyone knows eachother.

I have to park my car in secret hiding location too so I'm like ugggh in my head and nervous in my stomach.
My car is all I have left see that I can truly call my own. I worked my arse off for that Baby. My lil black Fiesta I Looove like a child hehe.
I hope she will be ok...her name is Banshee
Yeah I named my car. Coping methods okies.

Its absolutely boiling out here today.
One of hottest days again, my fare pale freckled skin is not designed for this Mann.
Nor do I have sufficient summer going out clothes...
I make it work, I always do..

Right I better get ma arse moooovin
I'm meant to be up there in an hour..
I'm just sat smoking in a daze..
So many things on ma mind.
Why the fuck cant I switch off.

Right I'm putting Eminem on nnnnow

Love you
SeejayDeexxx