Lights, Camera, Beware

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Lights, Camera, Beware
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Author :: thebrieplatter

Reviewer :: athenaxglamour_

First Impression :: 15/20

Something new to hear when it came to titles; I wasn't expecting it to be a horror story until I saw the cover. 

» Cover :: 7/10

I will be lying if I say it's not eye catching at all. The font is engraved on your cover in a real Gothic style. Most of all, you added a quote arousing mystery and curiosity of readers. The cover of any book can be critique on the basis of two views: 

1) explicit or direct view (the basics)

No problem here. Author name, title, quote, and a relevant picture as a background. 

2) implicit or indirect view (how this cover relates to the book?) 

Definitely, no problem here as well. The major theme of your book is horror and this cover is covering it's Gothic element very clearly. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: I still believe that the quality of this cover could be better if you try. It looks quite rough yet viewable at first glance. 

» Title :: 4/5

This title is relevant and explains the story in three words quite frankly. It was something other than the traditional phrase, "lights, camera, and action" that would be so boring and not so creative. I must say that you did well by choosing this title as this is intriguing. Good job! 

» Blurb :: 4/5

This is the first time I see a blurb so intriguing. It isn't just intriguing but an example of creativity. Most of all, the four elements of blurb are present in this blurb. You didn't just introduce the characters, conflict, stakes but settings as well. This blurb demands no changing, and I loved the last phrase of this blurb which says, "a story you will never forget". That's how we bewitch readers. Kudos to you!

Beginning of a new start :: 8/10

The beginning of your book was simple yet so warm hearted. I noticed that you divided different parts of the story by mentioning different quotes before each part. It makes your book look less tiresome, neat, and understandable. Also, the beginning of your book and its first chapter was smooth, it doesn't give too much information to the readers. It was a starting point for the reader to get hooked up because of your excellent dialogue delivery and characterization. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: Just my suggestion. Make your book more aesthetic by introducing the characters in an aesthetic way. Simplicity matters but beauty is the need of the hour. That's all. 

Concept and plot :: 22/25

Finally, I got to read something original. I was so happy the moment I stepped into your book because it was entirely an original creation of your mind. The story isn't just a story, but it has a properly developed plot. Moreover, a subplot is making your book more mysterious. I do not usually comment on books I review, but your book was asking me to speak. I gave my point of view, too. It was a story so relatable to my heart, and I believe that's why I fell in love with the plotline. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip:: No changing is required but I noticed that you need to look for some unnecessary scenes that are making your chapters lengthy. Readers are attracted to short chapters, but your chapters were quite lengthy which tire me out.

Characters and emotions :: 12/15

The characters of your book are humans just like us. That's why I could feel more sympathetic toward Hobi and Yerin because I went through the same thing as them. To be honest, I fell in love with these two characters because they were both screaming realism. Their feelings are described genuinely, and their characters are developed in front of the reader's eyes. As far as your supporting characters are concerned, kudos to you. Love them. It's like they haven't been left alone by you. Even though you had to take care of the main characters. 

Tone and style :: 6/10

Your writing style is way better than many authors. You are descriptive with a limit because over description makes your book look over fancy. I loved the way you used poetic lines for the starting of each part of the book. Those lines really are appreciable because they speak to your creativity. The only problem that I found was your use of dialogue after dialogue which was making it quite hard for me to keep up with characters. For example: 

• ❴"Sorry!"

"Be glad that I didn't drop it, or else Seok Jin would have your head."

"Why my head? You're the one who would've dropped it, not me!"

"Well, you're the one who startled me!"

"Who told you to zone out?"❵

Also, please stop doing this. Attaching letters with letters without spaces doesn't show that your character is panicking rather it just shows informality of the subject. 

• ❴What could they say anyway?

"Holymotherfuckinpieceofworthles sdegeneratesackofballessbastardpr obingshit."❵

Lastly, please don't let your character speak the whole damn story in one paragraph. A normal person doesn't speak this long at one time. Make it feel natural; don't make your readers tired of the lengthy dialogues. For example, 

• ❴"Well, I'm no psychologist, YoonGi. I just know what saw. That man who tried to kill Han was not the SamHyuk I know. And he's done shit like this a few times. There's this... phase, when he gets jealous of other men, protects me more than a mother would take care of her child and would kill to get another man away from me. And he gets... ❵ there are more lines after this, it's just so overwhelming to read. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip:: Try to divide the lengthy paragraphs by adding more creativity and sophistication to it. Read more original works of wattpad so that you are aware of the writing style and it's proper usage. 

Grammar :: 16/20

Your grammar's situation is better than I thought. Your tenses are consistent and punctuations are placed, rightly. Be aware of dialogue tags, and how to use punctuations correctly when it comes to their correct usage. This is a very mistake that I see in the writing of almost every writer. It doesn't matter how good their book is, they just forget to put the punctuations rightly when it comes to dialogue tags. 

When dialogues are followed by words like, "said" then we use a comma (,) before closing the quotation. But if dialogues are followed by words like "yelled" and "ran" or any action verb then you will use a period (.) before closing the quotation. 

【NamJoon gave a nod. "They were supposed to be late this year but looks like nature has different plans," he grinned.】there should be a (.) not comma. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: Just fix dialogue tags on your own. You don't need any editor to fix your grammar. Still if you want to improve then go for professional editing. 

Overall :: Work on the areas where I pointed out and then you are good to go. Ask me away if you still have issues with your review. 

Total :: 79/100

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