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The Red Ace

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Author :: LoveRubyJane

Reviewer :: gukkeun

First impression :: 19/20

» Cover :: 9.5/10

It's a beautiful product of sweat and tears. Jennie's smile held cunningness and wit, representing Blaze flawlessly. I grew incredibly fond of it over time whenever I was available to read the story. The cards however, covered up a tad bit of the title. They were a nice touch to the edit but the colour of the cards-specifically the "the"-and the fonts were indistinguishable. The cards seemed molded onto the text, hiding it partially. Definitely don't change the said cover because of it.

» Title :: 5/5

I definitely do not recommend the special fonts used. Certain devices don't support the characters. Pushing that aside, I interpreted the meaning behind this title of yours after reading the book. The chances of picking a red ace was 1/26. Perhaps you could be speaking of Blaze's rarity in confidence and unknown limits. On the other hand, it may be a simpler term to sum up the plot; gambling and manipulation. It works well for both theories, so I dare declare this title perfection.

» Blurb :: 4.5/5

The sole reason I removed half a point is the single capitalization error for "wounds". The synopsis is short, but the enriched vocabulary detected made up for the length. It summarised the whole plot in a few words, and I couldn't be more satisfied.

Beginning of a new start :: 10/10

The "quote/lyrics" you had in the beginning of each chapter truly had me baffled for the longest period of time. I would truly be grateful if you would explain the meaning behind them. If they don't hold any relevance to the plot, there certainly is no need. But, taking the pattern of professionalism and dedication you had going consistently throughout the story, I didn't let them affect my judgement.

The beginning straight up dived into the plot. Everything was begging me to continue; the execution, the characters, the mystery behind the school, the protagonist, the beautiful writing, everything! You enraptured my heart with an unending rollercoaster of crave. A hunger for more of these brilliant handwritten creativity.

Concept and plot :: 25/25

The amount of details and trickery inserted into every chapter made the story ten times better. The effort you made into researching the information behind the war deserved respect and more mentions. The adrenaline builds up after every intensive challenge Blaze faces. The do or die situations were the main highlights. The unpredictability had me crawling for more. The suspense, the mystery, the uniqueness of this story makes the whole thing a masterpiece; a gem that has yet gained its deserved recognition.

Characters and emotions :: 14/15

This section was executed perfectly. Each character had a unique and individual personality. The introduction was neither overwhelming nor suffocating. Despite all ten elites being mentioned at the very beginning, I could instantly recognize the aura each of them emits.

Can I just mention how much I love Blaze? She's the definition of a newborn devil. I have never taken a liking to protagonists especially in fanfics until this story popped up. She emits independence; a strong built soul in the darkest of lands. I had to take a break in the midst of reading and squeal like a damn maniac. She holds that much power.

I love how you took the time to show the backgrounds of each individual. We had Chaeyoung and Jimin, again with the twist about the author's identity at the end of the chapter. It had me quivering in excitement. The adrenaline was too strong! You had a clever way of speaking to the audience. You explained in detail of the elite's traits through Blaze's interpretation alone. It made her stand out well amongst the crowd because of the sharpness she held within those eyes.

The only problem I had regarding the characters were the said "face claims". Lisa was known as Emily which was stated in one of the banners. This matter wasn't explained and the confusion was kept throughout the story. Especially when Lisa and Emily's names were switched back and forth.

Tone and style :: 9/10

There's a certain sophisticated tune to your writing. The words were woven in such a way they were addictive. I couldn't get enough of it. The rhythm was kept consistent and there were no signs of laziness even in the later chapters. The enriched vocabulary and perfect usage of literary devices represented your quality as an author. A high ranked star, that you are.

Now, avoid stuffing multiple dialogues into one paragraph to avoid unnecessary lengthening. Each dialogue is considered a paragraph itself. no matter how brief it is, such as a simple "Perhaps." Break down your paragraphs to make them easier to read through.

Grammar :: 18/20

Believe me, I had the strongest urge to stamp a full 20/20. Clearly because your errors didn't affect my reading experience in any way. But they are to be mentioned for proofreading later on.

The simple overlooked errors: capitalization, redundant spaces before punctuations, comma splice, missing commas before titles/names/endearment, misspellings, incorrect usage of semicolons

Take a look at these.

The moths; are the rock bottoms.
The blush leagues; are the middle class.

Semicolons aren't necessary in these areas. You can definitely remove them.

Moving on to the more consistent mistakes made.

"I just came in, All I know in this entire school is just his name. Besides, you can't call someone an Idiot for no reason," Blaze defended Jake who was now more mortified.

Now this error is common. The unnecessary capitalization.

Keep in mind to separate the dialogue tags + adverbs from the actions as well.

"You can go take a seat, Ms.Scarlett," the teacher sternly said filing the application.

Once edited, it should turn out as "the teacher sternly said, filing the application."

Then there were the commas after but instead of before. Also, do not leave a space after the hyphen when a character stutters.

"J- jake Grayson, n- nice to meet you, Ms.Scarlett,"

Keep an eye out for the dialogue/action tag and action beat rule. Smiling isn't a dialogue tag. A full stop should be placed instead of the comma.

Blaze smiled at the question,(.) "Gambling? I don't even know who you are."

The rules are maintained even when the action beat was placed after the dialogue.

"Good, Same class after the school sessions end,(.)" She grinned.

Extra words :: I'm addicted. This book is staying in my library forever. You produced a whole masterpiece. Who am I to not continue this rollercoaster of emotions? I love it with all of my heart. Be proud of it!

Total :: 95/100