Author  : lalalalala7fire

Reviewer : Army_Exol_Moa

IMPOSSIBLE

Cover - (2/10)

I didn't find any relevance in this cover with the plot. There isn't anything that can relate to your plot let alone your title. I don't know why you choose this cover, not everything is about aesthetics. The cover is good and attractive but it clearly doesn't belong to your story.

Title (3/5)

The title is not inviting in the story. It is a bit pertinent in the story because there no such inviting title however I feel it can be something else that can suits your plot more. Aside from this, the title didn't give any vibe of the plotline, it seems like the title isn't for this plot. You can use a more suitable title for your book.

Synopsis - (6/10)

The synopsis gives the right impression in the story as Hana finds herself in the world a few years back. It was a bit precise because Hana can't redo high school again but your synopsis is too revealing which is a turn-off. Most of the time readers don't read something if they know what's gonna happen. You can modify your description into something good with some cliffhangers or some more interesting dialogues. Your description is quite boring.

Plot - (17/30)

The first made me indulge the plot more and also continue reading the story. Yes, I got the story had a good climax and also making the reader anxious about the story but you are rushing your plot too much. She just found herself as Jennie Kim but she didn't freak out, it's a bit fake. Jungkook was her idol and when she met him she didn't even think it was or dream, don't you think she should have a stutter or go blank after seeing her idol in front of her? I like how you added the consequences of her dream and how her sweet dream turns into a nightmare. You aren't describing your story very well because your story lack some basic information and the scenes lack information. Your story is an example of 'white room syndrome', it would be good if add more details into the scenes. Details help to imagine scenes and the readers don't have much detail then how are they gonna imagine the scenes?

Character (5/10)

The characters in the story are somewhat fake, mostly because of a lack of details. I can't feel their emotions because you are rushing things. Imagine yourself as the protagonist and think if you actually do something like this in real life or not.

Grammar - (10/25)

I found many mistakes in this book. You have a problem with prepositions a lot, they are either wrong or wrongly placed. You are switching between tenses a lot which is grammatically incorrect. You can either choose present tense or past tense for the narration, don't jump on tenses. You were writing in the past tense and suddenly you were putting present tense verb which made your plot messy. The punctuation marks are also wrong because not all dialogues end with a period, some end with a comma. If the dialogue is followed by action then we will put a period or the required punctuation at the end of the quotation.
For example: "Life is hard so I am." She wiped her tears.

If dialogue is followed by phrases like "she said", or "they said", and "he asked" then we will put a comma or the required punctuation at the end of the quotation.
For example:
"Hana loves flirting, but she is an angel," she said.

Writing Style - (4/10)

Your vocabulary isn't that good, you can replace words with more suitable ones. The flow of the story was somewhat breaking in many scenes. The space between paragraphs was varying too much. You are writing in the same font whether it's for dialogues or thoughts, there isn't any difference between them. The way you are narrating your story isn't good either.

Overall

You need to edit your story a bit. I suggest, read some books because reading also helps in improving your writing skills. You can think of a new title as well.

Review Scores : 47/100

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