Author: _bottomjinniefan_

Reviewer : yoonchim_Z

Teaching Seduction | Jinkook

Cover: 9/10

I really like it! The tiny detail of folding the picture is very nicely done. You made something that could've easily looked too simple into something touched into creativity. The wordings below the picture however are difficult to see. Either increase the font size or change it completely. Other than that, it's perfect. Pleasant to look at.

Title: 10/10

Matches the story perfectly. It's nice that you place 'Jinkook' in the back as well. Honestly I couldn't have asked for a better title. Great job in picking it!

Synopsis: 5/10

I found a couple of mistakes here and there, you didn't place an 's' on certain verbs (ex: 1. decides, not decide. 2. what he does, not what he do) and incorrectly used some words. It's "in private" not "in privacy". The sentences you use are not catchy or beautiful in any way. Instead of "Lee Jangmi, who is also his childhood friend.", replace it with "Lee Jangmi, also known as his childhood friend." And the letter J in Jungkook's name isn't in capital. I thought this was on purpose until I saw Jin's name, please fix this. And there punctuation mistakes in there as well.

Plot: 10/30

Before going into the story I'd like to put this out there. Please warn the readers of any nsfw content! Either in the synopsis, tags, introduction, start of the chapter or before the smut itself! Not everyone is comfortable reading 18+ content. And please remember we have minors on wattpad too! Add a tag regarding it and warnings, please.

Now regarding the story, it has plot, but it's bland... the meetings between Jungkook and Jin quickly get boring. And the love story between Jungkook and Jin went from slow to extremely fast paced. Jungkook was sharing his problems with Jin where he should be feeling sad, and out of nowhere they were giggling and tickling each other and then the kiss? It doesn't make sense, especially since it wasn't mentioned that they even had any attraction towards each other in the first place. Thinking the other is handsome isn't a good enough reason for them to like each other. And the next day after their first kiss, they already had sex? It's too fast paced!

Character: 3/10

The attraction Jungkook had for Jin is too sudden. And it didn't make sense how Jungkook kisses Jin clearly knowing that it's cheating when his main goal is to fix his marriage with Jangmi. And when he caught Jangmi kissing another man he got mad when he knew himself he was cheating as well? It gets so confusing. Jin on the other hand is a love seduction expert who clearly wanted to help Jungkook, advising him from time to time on his marriage yet he lets Jungkook do whatever he wanted to him and not care a bit? In fact he invited him over clearly knowing it could've caused misunderstandings in Jungkook's head.

Grammar: 9/20

For certain sentences, it's better to use past tense instead of past continuous tense. Ex: Ringing the doorbell twice, a young handsome man was standing... (replace it with stood).Capitalism is a huge problem, if you wish to maintain their names in small letters, keep it constant. But now and again their names would alter between capital and non (jungkook & Jungkook). If you were to choose between the two, stick to Jungkook, it is more professional. Plenty of words are used incorrectly as well and I spotted a lot of spaces where words are left out, please look through and edit your work.

Writing Style: 4/10

Lots of incorrect words used, and some of your sentences didn't make sense at all. Some words are best replaced with others. Expand your vocabulary by reading other books, or you could follow my way of using google and searching for a synonym of the word. That's one of the best ways of finding the most suitable words to go with your sentence. And there some parts that aren't really required (ex: chapter 2: the sitting position of jin). I don't quite like your style of writing at the moment, but I trust that it'll be better once your vocabulary improves.

Overall

Please reconsider your plotline. Most of it doesn't make any sense, and the grammar errors didn't make it any better. Don't rush into getting them together, take it slow. Make Jungkook realize why he truly likes Jin because currently it seems like he likes the elder only because of his looks. The smut shouldn't even be there so fast. And don't forget to place warnings about the 18+ content! I'm not a huge fan of nsfw so the smut it really hits me by surprise. And please either hire an editor or improve your language and edit the chapters yourself. I say this all the time in my reviews but it's only for your own good.

Review Scores : 50/100

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