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The day of my departure from the hospital arrived, and it was a good thing because after a week of laying around in the ICU my muscle tone was diminishing, not to mention getting fed through a tube instead of eating couldn't have been that good.

Dad even took off work from his pilot job to see me.

"I'm very proud of you, son," my dad said as he drove me home, "but what the hell were you doing on a ladder without shoes on?"

"Uh..." I tried to think of a good excuse. The real reason was that I was high. Dad knew about Mom's occasional pot habit, but he would probably blame her for leaving the brownies out so I decided to cover for her. "Camron's basketball was on the roof. I thought I'd get it down for him. I thought it would be easy; an up and down job."

"Oh, being the good brother you are. I'm not surprised. Showing him how to be a man while I'm gone, no doubt." He smiled.

"Exactly." I wondered how he would take it that Camron wanted to be a cheerleader and date Jake, but I would let Camron decide when to bring that up. I tried to change the subject. "So, how is work?" Oh no, why did I ask that? Now he's going to tell me about every single layover...

"Oh, we had a layover in Amsterdam that was excessive, and turbulence coming back from Egypt..."

He drowned on about every boring detail while I stared out the window. We finally arrived home. I was eager to work out and take a shower.

Dad fumbled with the front door keys while I hobbled up the path to the door.

I walked over the threshold when suddenly a crowd of people jumped out from behind furniture in our living room and yelled, "SURPRISE!"

My jaw dropped open when I gazed around. All of my close friends, my family, including my grandma from upstate New York, guys from the football team, Abby and... Frootloop. Streamers and a banner that said Happy Birthday hung from the ceiling.

I had lost track of the days while I was in the hospital.

"Oh, Jayden, I'm so glad you're okay." Grandma gave me a hug.

"Awe, thanks, Grandma!" I hugged her back.

She smelled like Ben-gay with a slight hint of moth balls on the side, but I loved this woman.

The guys gave me fist bumps and shoulder jabs.

My mom yelled over the crowd. "Ok, now that everyone is here we can get the slide show started." She already had the Epson Powerlight projector ready. "This is a celebration of life for the last 18 years with Jayden."

Sentimental music had been put together with my photos. I think every naked baby picture of me was in it. Abby stood beside me as each one flipped by. Me being born. Me in a bathtub. Me peeing on my dad's face as he changed his first diaper. Me being chased by a dog that was pulling my diaper off. Me at the water park smiling at the age of two under a sprinkler holding my wanker.

Everyone in the room was roaring with laughter. Then pictures of Dylan, Ty, and Mike riding our bikes, walking with our arms around each other's shoulders, and tossing the football.

Next a shot of my grandma mooning the camera. More laughter.

There were more photos that led up to the most recent one of Abby and me at prom, that someone had snapped of us on the dance floor.

I was surprised at the next round of photos that included me in a coma at the hospital. The guys had put my arms around their shoulders, smiling. My head lulled to the side as I drooled, unconscious. Next, a shot of Camron putting makeup on me and painting my fingernails. I lifted my hands to see the red nail polish. My hospital bracelet dangled around my wrist. How I hadn't noticed, I don't know. The last photo was of my Frankensteined toe.

Finally, the roast was over, but one thing struck me as strange about the video. One of the songs that had played was one that was commonly played at funerals, One Sweet Day.

I was bewildered.

Abby had tears in her eyes. "Camron put the video together. We didn't know if you would ever wake up."

That was interesting. It made sense that Camron was behind the video they would have used at my Celebration of Life. I glared at him from across the room.

He sucked his cheeks together like he did when he was scared.

Nature called and I excused myself. I headed upstairs and closed the bathroom door. I realized all of Grandma's unmentionables were sprawled around. Her gigantic bra that could fit my head in each cup hung from the doorknob. A package of Depends laid beside the toilet. There was a trash bag on the floor. What the hell? Is that where she changed her own diapers? Her makeup and medicines cluttered the counter, and her false teeth lay in a jar of liquid. It gave me the heebie-jeebies.

I quickly did my business, then decided to check and make sure everything was in my room the way it was supposed to be. One glance around and I noticed none of my weight sets or exercise machines had been touched. Of course not, they were too heavy for the turd to lift and put out by the dumpster. My posters had been ripped off of the wall, no big deal, I could replace those... wait... my trophies were gone. I went and stuck my hand under my mattress where I kept my porno's. They were gone. Shit! Now what would I jack off to?

I opened my closet. All of my sports bags, clothes, and gear were gone. Camron, that little shit!

I went to his bedroom, it was locked. I went to the bathroom and found one of Grandma's bobby pins. All I had to do was bend it just right and the door swung open. I went through his closet and grabbed his favorite tie-dyed rainbow shirts and hoodies. In his dresser I took all of the thong underwear he had stolen from mom to try on in front of his mirror, then I felt under his bed and found a note. I opened it. It was from Jake. It smelled like cologne and there was a pink heart next to his name.

Camron,

I don't want to jump into anything too quick. Let's just see where this friendship takes us. We're in two different worlds. I'm a senior and you're a freshman. I think you're hot and if I were a couple years younger, or you were a couple years older this could work. Let's not spoil our friendship for now.

Sincerely,

Jake

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FYI: I am trying to update this book every 5 days with a new chapter. I have a few chapters ready in advance, in an attempt to build a reader base on Wattpad.

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