━━ chapter four.
❝ camping spots. ❞
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NATSUKO LIKED THE GREAT OUTDOORS.

The smell of conifers mingling with the faint scent of petrichor, the blades of verdant green leaves and the different rock formations where one could start their own adventures in. Natsuya remembered how Natsuko and him had gone mountain climbing the summer before, with Natsuko just telling him the day prior. She was that kind of free spirit when it came to the great outdoors, always up for the challenge.

"Do you need help with that, Tsu?" he calls over to her as she begins setting up the tents. He's preoccupied with carrying their bags from the back of the pickup to the camping site but he knows he can spare a couple of minutes to help her with the tents.

She merely shakes her head as a response, doing a complicated knot and successfully finishing one tent. The other though remained unfinished and Natsuya decided that he'd lend a hand to speed up the process. She was busy hammering one of the nails into the ground, but the nail itself was wobbly so he put his hand on top of hers and helped her hit the right spots.

"You're welcome," Natsuya tells her with a headpat before heading back to his task, not noticing the flush of red that had captured her cheeks. Natsuko didn't have rosy cheeks but if he looked closely, he would see them in all their carmine glory.

After finally moving all the equipment to the camping site, he stole another glance towards Natsuko who was making a firepit with some stones she picked nearby. There seemed to be not enough firewood so he asked if she wanted any and lo behold, the only response he received was a shake of the head.

That was odd. There were times though when she buried herself in silence, let it linger on the air, so he decided against confronting her about it.

Nao's presence had changed that mentality. It would have been okay if she remained silent the whole day, Natsuya would find a way to make her speak, but that time, he saw her leap into Nao for an embrace and threw him a barrage of questions, she know that there was something bothering her and it had something to do with him.

"Nao!" he calls and he sees how Natsuko throws him an annoyed look, as if he's stealing Nao away from him. When his bestfriend stands next to him, Natsuya begins speaking. By his peripheral vision, he could see Natsuko picking up some twigs for firewood. "Can you prepare these? I'll go help Natsuko with firewood."

Natsuya loved Nao even though he was feeling an irrational envy towards him. The guy was always by his side since they fell in love with swimming during their childhood and he was quick to pick up Natsuya's desire to be alone with Natsuko. Nao gives him a pat on the back before turning to the packets of hotdog that would go rotten if no one tended to them.

"Thanks," Natsuya says and bades farewell. He heads to Natsuko, keeping his cool. He'd get an explanation as to why she's acting this way. She wasn't the type to keep secrets from him and when she was annoyed or upset, it didn't take a lot of pushing to get the answers he wanted.

Natsuko's still looking down, picking up some twigs covered in dried leaves and soil. He knows those won't be effective firewood from how they look damp and relatively young.

"Nao," Natsuko begins. "Thanks for coming back. Can you help with picking up firewood?"

"Sure," Natsuya answers, his tone light. "I'm not Nao though."

Natsuko bolts upright, some of the sticks she had picked up falling on the forest floor. There's alarm present on her face as her mouth parts open in surprise.

"Where's Nao?" she asks, only fueling Natsuya's ire. But Natsuya was not Natsuko whose anger you could easily determine through the shifts in her eyebrows. Natsuya was Natsuya and he was a good pretender. He calls Nao who waves at them both with a wide smile.

"He can help me get the firewood," Natsuko persists. He knows she's talking to him, but she doesn't even bother looking at him. Her eyes are trained on the twigs splayed about on the forest floor.

"Are you ignoring me, Tsu?" Natsuya asks and he sees the valleys between her eyebrows. He has no confirmation as to her supposed aversion towards him, but she was annoyed or even angry. What spurned this emotion, he doesn't know. They were having such great late night conversations too. Of course he'd occassionally teased her, but her replies seemed to denote that she took it in stride. "You know I can pick firewood too."

"You seem busy," she replies, dodging the earlier question.

"Nao's the one busy with the cooler, I'm just standing here, staring at you."

"Then do something productive," she throws back, still searching for firewood in that particular spot. Natsuya looks up and overhead there are no canopy of trees, a couple of meters ahead though was a different story.

Natsuya nudged Natsuko by the shoulder. "Then I'll get firewood with you." He grabs her by the wrist and they head deeper into the forest.

"More trees, more wood," he reasons and Natsuko shoves his hands away, before picking up dry logs.

Natsuya looks at her with concern. "Careful Tsu, you might get bitten by bugs."

Silence. So Natsuya decides to do his job as well and confirms that there really was something wrong with his female bestfriend. Whenever he gets near, she tends to move farther away and she pretends to not hear his calls.

He hates feeling this way. He doesn't like the ice cold treatment he's getting. He loves Natsuko and her warmth, her bright laughter and the way she looked at him with affection. This made him ache. Her repulsion towards him, how his mere presence made her flinch, the cold stares and emotionless statements. He'd picked up a habit of savoring all the expressions she made. Cold, unfeeling Natsuko was not one of his favorites.

"Tsu," he runs towards her and backs her into a large tree so there's no way for her to escape. "Don't avoid me. Look up."

She doesn't, so he lets go of the firewood he's carrying and pin her with his arms. They're faces are mere centimeters away from each other and her face is crimson red. From anger or embarassment, he doesn't know.

She shakes her head and Natsuya feels as if he's been punched in the gut. The way her eyes seem to look leaden, as if she's scared of his mere presence. Natsuko has felt many emotions towards him, emotions that she'd voiced out no matter how uncomfortable they tended to be. The most prominent one was annoyance, sometimes it was jubilee, but she'd be reluctant. Fear... was never there.

"Tsu," he says, his voice softer. Her eyes. She's afraid of something, something about Natsuya. "It's going to be okay, just tell me."

The wind whooshes above them, sending dead leaves falling from trees. The branches rustle against each other, the breeze bouncing against hollow logs and tree trunks creating ominous sounds.

"What did I do wrong?" he asks, straight to the point and she blinks in confusion. Grey clouds clump on the sky and for a moment, he thinks it might rain.

"Natsuko, tell me," he pleads, and the half hidden sun casts shadows on her beautiful face. "I'll fix it. Just say the word."

She shakes her head, and he saw a tear stream down from her eyes. "It's not you." Small hiccups punctuate her words and she lets the firewood fall to the ground before she folds in on herself. Her whole body is shaking. "There's something wrong with me. Natsuya... I'm scared..."

Fingers grasped together as Natsuya holds her hands to keep them warm. Teardrops continue to trail down her cheek. "What's wrong, Tsu?" he asks and kneels in front of her, trying to wipe the tears with her thumbs. She stretches her legs so her face isn't buried on her knees. Instead, she covers her face on the fabric of his shirt. "We'll fix it, okay?"

With no hesitation, his hands trail to her back and he soothes shape to cease the sobs. He murmurs comforting words in her ears and gradually the tears stop.

"You ready to talk now, Tsu?" he asks, wiping the remnants of tears in her eyes with his thumbs. Her face is awfully close, but he decides to not get distracted by that. His bestfriend needs a friend to comfort him and that's what he'll become. "What happened?"

Natsuko breathes before meeting his eyes. "I... it's..." She averts her gaze. "It's stupid."

"I'll listen," he tells her. "No matter how stupid it sounds."

"It's just," she says. "Everything's just been going horribly for me. My plants in the apartment are withering, I forgot the graham crackers and marshmallows for s'mores and I'm stuck with this stupid thought that Nao and you will forget that I'm here and do all those amazing outdoor stuff without me."

"Tsu," he begins, burying his nose in her air. He tightens his clasp on her fingers. "It'll be fine. We won't exclude you, you're my bestfriend for God's sake."

"I'll make it up to you," he says. "It'll be unforgettable, okay?"

Time continues to trickle between the two of them as they continue to search for firewood, Natsuya leading the way just like what he did when they were little kids going on make believe adventures.

Natsuko blinked profusely, trying to make sure that no tears spilled. She hated lying to him. But how could she not? When the very reason for her tears was Natsuya.

━━ to be continued.
🌻 | the sunflowers that last forever.