We park the car and make our way through the forest. I cling to Embry's side. His body is stiff, but I am too cold to let go.

We get to the edge, probably only thirty feet up. Our bodies are two storeys above ground.

"So, how does it work?" I ask, staring forward. I was taught to swim as a child. Swimming is a good workout after all. However, before this last month, I'd never even been to a beach. The waves are much rockier than I anticipated.

"It's not complicated," Quil says, taking off his shirt. "You just trust that you aren't going to die. Like, beginners don't do any fancy tricks and they hold their arms out to help balance, but that's kind of it."

"How do you know there isn't anything at the bottom?" I pester, finally letting go of Embry to approach the ledge.

"Don't get too close," Embry warns. He begins to undress as well, leaving both of them shoeless. Only cut-off jean shorts keep them covered.

Quil stands next to me. He looks at Embry then looks back at me. He takes in a deep breath and relaxes. "Do you smell that?"

I breathe in through my nose, closing my eyes. I can hear the sea, crashing against the shores. The smell of salt water and dirt hits my nose. It's so strong I can practically taste it.

Embry comes up to the edge, and while he does, I discreetly take out one hearing aid and put it in my pocket.

"When you get good, you can do flips," Quil says.

He winks at me and tips over the edge. His body flies through the air, spinning over itself before he lands feet first for the dive. I hear the splash, loud even with one hearing aid in. The wind is picking up. Quil surfaces and lets out a yip, that Embry returns.

Embry looks at me. "Wait here, okay?"

"Okay!" I promise.

As Quil moves out of the way, Embry dives over the side. He lands feet first in a large splash.

I take off my hearing aid, and take my phone and switchblade out of my pocket and put them in my jacket. Folding my jacket carefully, I put it on the ground. Then, I approach the ledge.

From below, I can see Quil and Embry waving at me. Their faces are too far away to make out any expressions, but their arms are getting more rapid as I take off my shoes. My toes curl around the rocky edge of the cliff.

I leap from the ledge, diving into the water below. The air rustles through my hair, and my throat tightens. I plunge below water. I go deep, deeper than I had anticipated. My body sinks lower and lower as I use my arms to swim up. My legs are weighing me down, with my heavy pants.

Finally, I hit the surface. My hair pools around me. Swimming with clothes on is much harder than I anticipated. I look over at the boys, who both are yelling at me.

I sign one of the few words I've learned in sign language. Deaf. Over the roar of the ocean, I cannot hear them. Not even their muffled words.

Eventually, we swim to the shore. Quil pats me on the back and gives me the thumbs up. Embry shoots him the finger. He shakes his index finger in front of my face disapprovingly and I watch him go through the motions of sighing. No sound comes out. I'm freezing now. The wicked September air beats against me. It's almost torturous. My teeth begin to chatter.

I would still do it again.

It takes us less than five minutes to truck up to the level we jumped from. Once we are up there, I take the valuables out of my jacket and wrap it around me, hoping to avoid them from getting soaking wet. Once one hearing aid is in my ear, I immediately hear their chatter.

"That was awesome. What a way to get around Jacob's rule!"

"Please don't do that again, he'll kill us. Like, maybe actually tear us apart."

I giggle at both of them. I squeeze the water out of my hair, careful to avoid my hearing aids.

Embry heads back to the car and grabs a blanket. He wraps it around me, once rubbing my arms to try to bring the heat back to them. His hands are warm, despite the frigid temperatures.

"We don't even have to tell Jacob," I tell them. "Why are you so keen to obey him?"

"It's a cultural thing," Quil answers.

That's good enough for me, though I still suspect that they are part of a criminal gang. Although, it's odd that they don't carry around weapons if they are a gang.

The sun is beginning to set over the water. I was never really taught to appreciate beauty growing up, but I marvel at the sight. Only for a second though, since I don't dare let me guard down for more than a moment. It is getting late. I'm sure the boys are hungrier than I am.

"We could do one more than pack it in?" I suggest.

Quil laughs, "yeah sure. Do you also want me to write you into my will? For, you know, when Jacob murders us afterwards."

I roll my eyes. Even if they are dramatic, I'm growing to appreciate their company. Quil and Embry are fun people. Despite their refusal to allow me to cliff dive, I don't mind them.

Eventually, we load back into the car. Embry gives me his shirt to wear, so I switch out of my soaking one. His clothing fits me like a tent. I sit on the blanket to avoid getting his car soaked, even though Quil and Embry sit inside it with wet jean shorts.

Actually, it's kind of funny. I don't think I've seen them in anything but jean shorts this whole time. It's September and we are in the Pacific North West. You'd think they'd own pants.

"Do you want to eat the leftovers back home, or stop and get food?" Embry asks.

He glances at me in the rear-view mirror, awaiting my response.

"Let's just eat at home," I say, because we're soaking wet and because I cannot bear the idea of them spending more money on me.

Quil shoots Jacob a text that we will be home soon and then we are on the way over. Quil and Embry keep congratulating or lamenting me for cliff diving.

When we arrive, I can see the fire in the backyard. We rush inside and change before Jacob can figure out I went in the water too. I don't blow dry my hair, since I'd have to take out my hearing aids and it would be really loud. I put it up in a messy bun and hope for the best.

Once I'm downstairs, Quil and Embry have already made the three of us plates. We eat inside around the table, cracking jokes. Once I'm done eating, they are still laughing.

"I knew you'd do it of course," Quil says.

"Shut up, no you didn't," Embry counters, finishing off the last of his plate.

"Of course I did!" Quil exclaims. He grabs all three of our plates and begins to wash them. "I winked at her. Didn't I wink Fawn?"

I wince for Embry, "Quil did wink."

Once again, Quil pumps his fist. Embry laughs and playfully pushes him.

"Go outside, we'll catch up," Quil tells me.

I nod, even though I want nothing less than to hang out with Jacob and his sister and his sister's boyfriend. After taking in a deep breath, I head out the back door and over the little homemade stream that runs through the yard. From across the campfire, a girl waves at me.

"You must be Fawn!" she says, waving me over. "I'm Rachel, Jacob's sister."

"Nice to meet you," I smile.

I make it over beside them, and notice Jacob gritting his teeth, "they were just telling me that they're planning on moving to Seattle after Sam's wedding."

"How lovely," I say, looking at him carefully. He has a smile on his face, but the skin on his cheeks is pulled too tight.

"Come on now, Jake," Rachel says. "I thought you'd be happy."

"I should go inside," I say.

Rachel's boyfriend from across the circle laughs. "No, stay. You need to hear this."

"She doesn't need to hear anything," Jacob hisses.

I take a step back, just as Embry and Quil arrive. They take their spots around the circle, gesturing for me to sit in between them and Jacob. I listen to them, sitting down.

"How long is this stunt going to go on for?" the boyfriend asks.

Jacob closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath in and out. "We both know Sam ordered that you cannot say anything. To anyone."

"I know," the boyfriend points out. "She has a right to know."

I want to pipe in that I've already figured out that they are in rival gangs, but I keep my mouth shut.

"You don't know shit," Jacob argues back. "You listen to Sam, who actually knows something."

Rachel clears her throat, "Paul, maybe not now."

"He's not going to fight me," Paul crosses his arms over his t-shirt. "I'd like to see him try. What's he going to do, hit me with a cane?"

I can feel myself shrinking.

"Come on, Paul," Rachel stands up and puts a hand on her boyfriend's shoulder. "Let's go."

"You cannot be mad that things are changing," Paul points out. "Leah's gone off to community college. Rachel has a high-paying job lined up in Seattle. We've only stayed here this long since you flew off the handle when Billy died."

"Get out," Jacob stands up. He grabs the chair from behind him and smashes it against the ground. The wood splinters into pieces.

Paul rolls his eyes, but Rachel runs to her brother's side. She wraps an arm around him.

"I will leave you if you ever speak to my brother like that again," Rachel says to Paul. "Understood?"

Paul stumbles. I really wish I had gone inside. Embry takes Jacob and leads him back towards the house while Paul storms off into the woods. He rips his t-shirt in half and runs deep into the trees.

I want to run after him, because of the bears, but surely, he knows La Push better than I do. Maybe it is safer than Emily had suggested. I don't know. My whole head is spinning.

"Jacob's been in a really bad place lately," Rachel says. "Please don't judge him by his worst actions. Don't judge Paul either, but especially Jacob."

I nod.

With that, she heads back to her car, which is parked in the dirt driveway beside the house. Quil picks up the broken splintered pieces of the chair and chucks them into the fire. He sits back down in a chair.

"They'll come back out, once Jake's cooled down," he says. "Sit with me."

I do as he says, and I sit.

However, after half an hour of chatting and joking with Quil, I realize he was wrong. Jacob is not coming back.

~~~~~

I'm living for this. Every second of it makes me shiver. Not just with cold, but with anticipation. When do you think Fawn will figure it out? Will she even do that?