Emily and I go out and buy clothes for the fall. It's a nice excursion, and it's nice to spend time with someone human, like me. I still worry about Kamiko following us, but she tends to make her presence known, and she is nowhere.

I end up picking out an outfit for the party, disappointed to find out that Emily and Sam aren't coming. They're welcome to come, but they would both be the oldest ones there. Also, the youngest pack members, anyone younger than sixteen, aren't coming either.

Thankfully, we should still have a decently sized group.

On the day of the party, there is a knock at the door. Quil runs over to answer it. On the other side is a girl with long straight black hair and a wide smile. She leaps into Quil's arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. They giggle together, while Embry rolls his eyes at them.

"I told you they are insufferable," he turns his head towards me so I can hear him mutter. It's still a strain. "Worse than all the others."

I turn away as the pair kiss. Embry and I share a glance, and I have to keep myself from bursting into laughter.

"Thanks for offering us your room," Quil points out. "It makes things a lot easier."

"It means I'll sleep in peace," Embry jokes, shaking his head.

"You must be Fawn," Claire runs up to me. She takes my arms and spins me in a circle. "Quil didn't tell me you were this pretty."

"Nobody's as beautiful as you, button," Quil says. He comes up beside Claire and wraps his arms around her waist.

She leans into the touch, her eyes closed. They flutter open, "we've got to get ready. Come on."

After I am led to the kitchen table, she drags over her suitcase and sits down next to me. Once she has my permission, she begins to put on make-up. Everything but a layer of foundation coats my face, since we have completely different skin colours. It takes about twenty minutes to get the whole thing done, mostly because I keep blinking, so she has to start over.

"There," Claire says, finishing it off. She looks at me and smiles. "It's perfect."

She hands me a small mirror and dashes off to the bathroom to get herself ready. I look at my face and almost don't recognize myself. She said it would look better in the dark, but I'm not sure. My eyelids are gold and my cheeks are a soft rose. Even my lips are painted on.

"It looks fine," Embry tells me.

"Claire did it. It looks way better than fine," Quil points out. "Jacob would even agree, and he's much more of a subtle guy."

"Well, he won't see it anyway," I point out.

After seeing more of the love between Quil and Claire, who practically cling to each other, I feel sorry for Jacob. It must suck not to be able to imprint on someone. Maybe he's not ready, but to know that he'll never be able to feel the deep love that all his friends have sucks. It sucks so hard.

I head into the bedroom to change. I throw on the long-sleeve black dress that is quite short. I'm hoping it's party-appropriate. It doesn't really feel me. None of this does. I've put on a costume, like it's Halloween, which isn't for another week.

Even though it's hard, I remind myself I'm not in the convent anywhere. While vampires might be real, I'm not forced to fight them if I don't want to try.

When I come out, I wait for a while in the living room alone. Embry is the first to emerge. She wears a black button-up short-sleeve over top of a white tank. He also wears khakis.

"You're dolled up," he says and I nearly wince. "You'll fit right in with Claire."

"Thanks," I admit. "I'm so out of my element."

"You're fine. Also, don't mention shape-shifting tonight, unless Leah mentions it's okay," Embry adds. "Leah hasn't told Hannah yet, and she's coming."

A few minutes pass and Quil and Claire come down from upstairs. Claire wears a tight curve-hugging black and gold dress, with a sweet-heart neckline and frills on the skirt. Quil wears a black button-up that plunges way too low onto his chest. The more I look at them, the more I start to feel that I fit in.

"Hurry up, Jacob, we're going to be late," Quil shouts upstairs. Then, he turns to me. "Although, the party doesn't really start until Claire and I show up."

Jacob makes his way down the stairs. I'll be honest, I wasn't sure he was coming. He's simply wearing a black t-shirt and khakis, but it suits him. He holds his cane in one hand and taps each stair as he walks down.

He doesn't say a word to any of us.

From there, we call the cabs. It takes twenty minutes for them to show up. Quil and Claire claim the first one, rushing in and shutting the doors behind them. Embry, Jacob, and I take the next car.

We get there and it's dark. There are no houses right next to the Clearwaters since they live on quite a bit of land. From the outside, you can hear the music playing, and it's sure to only be louder once we enter.

I make sure to adjust my hearing aids slightly, so that it won't be overwhelming.

After paying the taxi driver, we head inside. The party is already going. A few members of the pack that I don't recognize are playing a game with cups on the table, their imprints cheering them on.

Seth comes up to us and offers a sheepish wave. He says something to us and leads us further in the party. The background noise makes it impossible to hear people's voices. We are led to a table filled with drinks. Embry drops the bottles he brought onto the table. I uncork a bottle and pour it into my cup, already ready to pound it back.

Embry laughs as I drink. Jacob smirks, but I don't get what's funny. Someone must've told a joke that escaped me.

Things begin to get fuzzy after that. I can feel the beat of the music in the house. It shakes every surface I touch. I can't make out much of the melody, but I dance anyway. A lot. Claire laughs and continues to spin me. Quil eggs us on, occasionally jumping in to dance as well. I learn how to play a game called King's Cup, following along even though I cannot hear the instructions and I'm so thankful that I don't get the final cup, which Leah's girlfriend Hannah has to drink.

After a while, I get more comfortable. This could be me. I could be this fun if I wanted to be. My makeup could sparkle, and my dresses could be tighter. I don't always have to be on the defensive mode.

After what feels like minutes but could be hours, I'm still dancing. Eventually, hands find their way onto me. Jacob. He's trying to say something to me, but I can't hear him, no matter how close I drag him to my hearing aids. So, I wave goodbye to Claire and lead him out of the room.

We wind up on the porch, and then take a few more steps until we are in their yard.

"What are you doing?" Jacob asks, his voice quick and low.

"I'm dancing," I laugh. He agreed to come to this party, he should lighten up.

"You're wasted," his nose crinkles. "Again."

"Who told you?" I ask, since he obviously couldn't watch me sloppily dance.

"I can smell it all over you," he snaps. "All over that ridiculously tight dress."

"You can't even see my dress!" I point out, crossing my arms over my chest. The music hums in the background, distracting me a bit. I want to go back in and dance. I don't want to be arguing with someone as rude as him.

"Everyone else can!" he points out.

"Everyone but you, Seth and Embry, are taken," I point out. "And given the whole imprinting thing, I figured that they would know if they were interested. You're paranoid."

I think something, but even the liquor manages to catch it on my tongue. It's not my fault your jealous that other people can see me.

"I'm not paranoid," he points out. "I don't want you to have the reputation as the sloppy white girl."

I cross my arms over my chest. There was at least one other white girl there while we were playing King's Cup. I'm not going to shit all over her, because, unlike Jacob, I have dignity, but she seemed drunker than me.

"Is that really what you think of me?" I ask. "You are so possessive. So jealous. And for what? I'm just some girl, right? Some girl who lives in your house and eats your food, remember?"

Jacob sighs. His voice is quieter, and he's scratching the back of his neck, "Fawn, you aren't just some girl."

"Then what am I?" I ask.

Please, just tell me, Jacob. Just tell me you're ready. Even when I hate you, and right now my blood is boiling, I can't help but want you.

"You matter to me... to us all, so much," Jacob says.

I can't handle it anymore. I walk past him.

He grabs me by the arm and pulls me back.

He waits, hesitates, does everything but speak. His lips are pressed tightly together. His breaths are shallow.

"Let me go," I whisper, even though I want him to pull me in closer.

"I can't," he admits.

He kisses me.

I've never kissed someone before, and it's happening. My knees begin to shake, but I try to kiss him back. My arms tingle as I wrap them around his neck. He kisses me, again and again. I can barely hear the music over my beating heart. Like a racing drum. Like a crescendo. Like music that my body was actually built to hear.

~~~~~

Ah! The last line kills me. This whole thing is beautiful and also ridiculous. I'm so happy! It feels like this is a long time coming but also so sudden. It's perfect.

Anyway, what do you think will happen next?