Hope is popularly expanded as Hold on pain ends and to an extent, it is what it says.
Pain does end. But the journey to that point is what some wouldn't survive.
This isn't even the worst part.

The worst thing about hope is that it can be snatched away as fast as we can utter the word. And, it is one of the worst kinds of pains one can go through before they eventually crack and turn numb to everything.

Does he not deserve anything good in life?
Is he just a waste of space? Just a life out in the world who was brought into this world to be a human form of the word disappointment?

When the Director had told him that he was replaced he had hopefully turned to Seokjin even though he knew that the other couldn't possibly do anything else other than what his boss had ordered him to.
He wasn't given an explanation about why that happened and to be honest, he didn't need it.
The moment he saw Cha Nam-Il, his number one bully and the golden officer of Seoul Police Agency in the Director's office, his overly white teeth on display.
For a moment Jeongguk wondered if they would glow in the dark.

"We thank you for your willingness to come join the team." The Director had told him as if he had memorized it beforehand. "You're a brave officer, Jeon. I wish you all the success in your future missions. Officer Kim will lead you out. Have a great day."

The short walk back was silent as Seokjin looked away from the younger, not wanting to look the other in the eye.
He felt horrible for the other.
He wished that he could fight against the Director. But that would put his own position in the mission in danger.
Regretfully, he let his selfishness take over as he watched the younger man get sent out of the mission. Silently.
He wasn't a powerful man after all.
He didn't have a politician for an uncle or a businessman for a father.
He had a family to take care of and he had spent years working his way up to where he is at the age of thirty-three and one wrong choice could ruin it all within seconds.

"I'm sorry."
That was all he could tell the younger as he dropped him at the entrance of the colossal building.
Jeongguk had nodded.
He had pulled on a small smile for the other and even gave him a slight wave before walking out into the night.
"I'm sorry."

The first tear rolled down his puffy cheeks as he crossed the gates of the building. He had wiped it away as it rolled down, taking in deep breaths as if to calm himself down.

The walk to the train station felt short. It felt like it.

He would be one to hurry home whenever the chance arises but today, he tried to be as slow as possible.

He spent the night at the train station only leaving after the few rays of the sun rose above the horizon, indicating the start of a new day.
It seemed like his mother was waiting for him back home. She had circles under her eyes and a warm smile still present on her lips. His uncle, the police chief at the Seoul Police Agency had informed his sister, Jeongguk's mother about what had happened already and so she wasn't surprised when her only son stumbled in with a pout on his lips, eyes glossy and nose and cheeks red.

"Eomma missed you." She had told him as he took refuge in his mother's warm embrace and there was no lie in her words. "Was so worried."

He felt like crying as he laid his head on his mother's lap a she combed his hair with her fingers.
This woman had carried him in her womb for nine months and raised him on her own since he was ten and still continues to do so even at the age of twenty-four.
He felt like a failure.

He had one person to take care of.
To cherish.
Just one.
And he couldn't even do that.
He couldn't make her life any easier.

He remembers the little list her made when he was twelve, listing out all the things he could get his mother, listing out all the places he would take her.
He couldn't make them come true and by the look of things would never be able to do so.

The next day at the office did nothing to reduce the pang in his chest.
Yeonjun had offered him a huge smile as he walked in.
"We all know that Nam-Il can't do anything or get anywhere without someone to recommend him, hyung. And it's obvious because you were chief's first pick!" The younger tried cheering him, succeeding a little.

Life was back to normal.

He checked the files, got his legs pulled by his colleagues, checked even more files, chased little rebels, got pushed around by his colleagues, stayed down, cried himself to sleep, and the usual.

It was yet another day. Except for, the whole department seems to be in a better mood a the Seoul Night's murders, had been solved by the special team headed by Cha Nam-Il.
He had wondered what happened to Seokjin who he heard was the head last time.

"I need to ask him how he had enough guts to come back here after walking out of here as if he rules the world."

"He is probably going to be here until he retires."

"Waste of space."

"Disappointment."

"I'm glad that they actually kicked him out ad gave the position to Nam-Il. Otherwise, this wouldn't have been solved this soon."

It didn't end there. The golden man of the Seoul Police Agency himself decided to pay him a visit.
"Jeongguk-ah, don't feel bad, yeah? Even though I'm pretty popular and extremely good at this field and even though we have our own differences, don't hesitate to come to me for help and advice, okay?"

The whole world seemed to be mocking him as he walked back home.
First, his umbrella got blown away by the wind.
Then he got splashed by a random car.
A random kid thought it would be fun to throw mud at him.
Missed his bus.
Got shouted at by random drivers.
And the beaten-up man he tried to help, snatched his purse, took his money, and ran away before he could even react, leaving him with an empty purse.

His mind was a mess.
So was his past and present and the future, even though vague promised an even bigger mess, or it looked that way.

With a dejected heart, he climbed up the stairs to the little apartment that he shared with his mother, counting each step until the last one.

He just needs a little way.
Just a little path.
He'd build the rest on his own.
Just a little something was all he needed.

With a long sigh, he knocked on the door to his apartment, cracking his knuckles and massaging his scalp as he waited for his mother to open the door.

Once again he decided to build some hope even though it seems to be letting him down.

Maybe... Just maybe, tomorrow will give him something new. Something that could potentially change his life for the best.

Or for the worst...