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julia

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    "New on Gossip Lock! Boy-band member, Harry Styles seen with Michelle Harley? Hey, what's up guys, I'm Kayla."

    "And I'm Gia. It looks like their seven-month-long on-again-off-again has come to a complete end. Yesterday, after pictures of her leaving Harry's house crying surfaced the internet, she had this to tweet: 'boys like harry are not to be trusted. never again.'"

    "Comment down below if you think that this will be the last of them!"

    I roll my eyes as I exited out of Youtube. Everywhere I go, I see his face. Harry Styles this! Harry Styles that! Harry Styles, marry me! For fuck's sake. Ever since we broke up four years ago, just right after our freshman year of college, he's been getting so much attention from the media. Congrats to him, I guess.

    I suppose I only get this heated when I hear the bullshit things that the media says about Harry; only because whatever they accused him of wasn't like him. My boyfriend, James, says following news like that will give me wrinkles and make my heart weak. I just laugh at him whenever he says that. He always knows how to make me feel better.

    As I open the door to my apartment, I smell the distinctive smell of James' pesto pasta; one of my favorites.

    "Hey, baby," I say, giving him a hug and a kiss. He just smiles back at me with warm loving eyes and pulls out a seat for me. A plate of hot pasta already on the table.

    "Hey, Julia. How was your day?"

    "Great, actually. Someone paid for my coffee at the drive-thru, my boss laughed at my joke..."

    He smiled his pearly whites and sat down himself, "that's great. I'm glad you had a good day."

    I took a bite and noticed James' smile fade away as he played with his food. His hair was messier than usual which indicated that he's been stressing the whole day. I puzzled everything together: he made my favorite food, didn't return my physical affection... He had news to tell me.

    "Everything okay, James?"

    He looked up smiling but with trouble in his eyes. He's hesitant to say something. "Actually, I have something to tell you."

    I put my fork down and tried to look for something else in his eyes. Is he cheating on me? Is he breaking up with me? Did someone die? Does he want to move out?  I tend to overthink things.

    "I've been thinking about this for a long time now. Well, not before I met you of course."

    I nod, trying to make sense of what he was saying.

    "Well, what I've been meaning to tell you is that..."

    My hand instinctively stretches to hold his and he looks down with a bit of sadness.

    "Julia, I love you. You know that right?"

    "Of course and I love you too, James... What's going-"

    "I'm gay."

    My eyebrows raise. My boyfriend, my best friend, of almost three years, is gay.

    "You're... gay."

    He nods slowly, trying to figure out my reaction. But all I do is smile.

"You're gay! Yay!"

James' face light up, "and you're okay with that?"

I sigh then smile, "did... did I make you gay? Am I that... you know?"

James laughs and hugs me. "Of course not. I just always had this thing bugging me and I've always pushed it back. I should thank you."

I pat his back, saddened at the fact that I am such a bad girlfriend that I helped him realize things. I laughed. At least I still had him as a friend.

"So," I started, "what does this mean? I- I have a lot of stuff going on in my head. Is it okay if I step out?"

Without waiting for his response, I go outside for some fresh air. I felt like throwing up. James, knowing me, didn't run after me because he knew I needed space.

A text rang my phone.

Harry: hello

Harry: is this still in use?

The few bites of my pasta shot up out of my mouth and into the bush next to me.

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lol sorry that probably went by super slow busy it gets better I promise.... yk cause Harry's back