*First ever published fanfic I actually completed lol

I began publishing my Lord of the Rings fanfics on fanfiction.net when I was about 10 years-old. It wasn't until I was 11 did I actually complete an entire fic titled "We're in Middle Earth!", and wowowow it's absolutely terrible.

I physically cringe whenever I reread this past work. This fic gives me the kind of embarrassment that makes you try to erase all your memories of it. It pains me to think I thought I was a hotshot writer because WiME got over 200 comments on the site.

WiME is every single cliché wrapped into one. It's a self-insert with a plain plot featuring horrible grammar and a disturbing subplot involving romance. You don't even need to know anything about LotR to detect its awfulness.

I thought it'd be funny to post the first chapter here and comment on it to show how far I've come in these past 7/8 years. I've had this chapter drafted for months because I kept on putting off publishing it, but I'm finally going to get it over with.

That being said, let's all cringe at WiME together while I sit in a corner mortified beyond belief :)))

~

Chapter One: A Not-So-Regular Day

I regret doing this already

Today was a normal day for me. I was watching The Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of the Ring with my cousin Annie in her room. We were making comments or shouting stuff at the TV as usual. I was wrapped in a green blanket with leaf designs, it was my Legolas blanket.

Legolas' name translates into "green leaf" in Elvish

"Frodo has pretty eyes." Annie commented when he was walking through Rivendell with Sam. "When he dies I want to take them out of his head and put them in my head."

Wtf

We both started laughing at her comment.

"I don't think that's possible." I laughed. "Plus that's kinda stalkerish." Then I thoughtfully added. "He does have pretty eyes though."

"I also want Legolas' hair." Annie giggled.

"QUIET!" I shouted. "It's the council!"

Calm down, sheesh

"That guy has funny eyebrows." Annie laughed.

Some description would be nice, don't you think? Unless you've seen the movie, you have no idea what's going on smh

"That's Lord Elrond." I stated. "His eyebrows are ridiculous. Look how funny he looks!"

Redundancy is redundant

"He doesn't look as funny as that one guy in the other movies." Annie smirked. "Who is that talking?"

"Boromir!" I shouted. "You know the guy who goes over the waterfall, dies at the end of the movie, and gets killed with arrows?"

Spoilers yikes

"Oh yeah..." Annie trailed off.

We watched in silence as the council took place. The silence didn't last long though. When Legolas came up the comments started again.

"He has a big nose." I commented.

"His voice is girly." Annie giggled.

Half of this chapter is making fun of the actors' appearances???

"He is extremely feminine." I agreed. "EEW! Did you see Gimli's spit?"

No, because someone didn't bother with any descriptions

"It like flew!" Annie giggled.

We watched in silence as the Fellowship was made. Well when Sam went and appeared Annie had to put one of her favorite quotes from The Two Towers in.

"Stupid fat hobbit ruined it!" Annie cried then she added, "No one cares about you Sam!"

Poor Sam D: What'd he ever do to you?

"He is fat," I mused.

I want to delete this from my browser history forever

We watched quietly until something happened that never happened before. Gandalf and Lord Elrond started talking about two people from a different world that would help them on their quest. I listened carefully as they talked about them. Who the heck were they?

Totally not you two ://

"I never heard this before." I muttered.

"Who are they?" Annie asked.

"I don't know," I muttered.

Take a shot every time I wrote 'muttered'

Then there was a bright flash and I landed on a hard stone floor with a thud. I sat up and wiped my bangs out of my face. Annie was still right next to me standing up. I stood up and saw her staring wide eyed with her mouth in the shape of an 'o'. I looked around and saw why she looked wide eyes.

We were at the council. I know we are. I have seen the movie enough times and read stories enough times to know we were at the council of Elrond. I have read fanfictions where girls got stuck in Middle Earth. I have written stories about girls joining the Fellowship.

And just like that, the MC accepts her fate without freaking out at all because that's exactly what a normal person does

I waved my hand in front of Annie's eyes and she came back to reality.

"Lyn," Annie said slowly. "Are we really where I think we are?"

"Depends where you think we are." I replied.

"The place at the movie." Annie answered.

"Oh," I started. "Yeah we are."

A+ dialogue and realism

"Welcome to Rivendell of Middle Earth." Lord Elrond greeted.

Annie burst out laughing. I started laughing too. How could I not laugh? Lord Elrond's eyebrows were so weird! The men gave us weird looks. After a minute we quieted down but we kept on grinning.

Immature girls are immature

"Wait a minute," I crossed my arms. "We were watching a movie in Indiana of Earth and now we're in Rivendell of Middle Earth? How did that happen?"

"I sent you here," Gandalf answered.

"Why?" I asked. "We have no weird magic Mary Sue powers!"

THE IRONY

"Mary Sue powers?" Annie repeated.

"You know those stories with the perfect Mary Sues?" I reminded her.

Oh the irony. You don't know what's coming for you, sweaty :)))

"You two are to join the Fellowship." Lord Elrond stated.

Just like that! Never mind that you're literal aliens who were summoned via a portal and act like ten year-olds... oh wait

"Really?" Annie and I asked excitedly.

"Yes," Lord Elrond confirmed.

"Wait a minute," I exclaimed. "What about our family?"

"You will return home after the quest and it will be like you never left." Gandalf reassured.

How convenient

"Talk about a long second." I muttered.

"Now you two will be taken to your rooms and we will explain everything later." Lord Elrond said.

We follow elleth through Rivendell. It was about 5 minutes before we were at our rooms. I shut the door and looked around. It was a simple bedroom with light blue walls, a marble floor, two matching full-sized beds, two matching dressers, two matching chests and nightstands by the beds, and two bathrooms.

Why did I put more effort into describing the room than anything else in this chapter???

"What the heck?" Annie cried.

I ran over to the mirror and saw why she was bewildered. She wasn't 13 no more and I wasn't 11. Instead we looked like we were 20! We looked way different!

Fun fact: I'm 18 now and my cousin Annie's based on is 20

Annie's dirty blonde hair was now a golden blonde and wasn't to her shoulders but was down to her waist, her eyes were crystal clear sky blue, her face was perfect, she was taller and skinnier, she had womanly part, and she was wearing a pastel orange dress. She was fingering a sun pendant on her necklace that I didn't notice before.

"Womanly part"??? Was I too embarrassed to write "breasts"???

I on the other hand my dark brown hair with natural blonde highlights was the same I still had my bangs, but my layers were gone, my hair was no longer to my shoulders but right above my waist, my skin was still tan but fairer, my face was perfect, my eyes were still dark brown, almost black, I was taller and skinnier, I had womanly parts, and I was wearing a dark blue dress. I saw a moon pendant on my necklace and stroked it for a moment.

I'll never use "breasts" ever again; from now on, the chest area on females will be known as "womanly parts"

"Why didn't you tell me that I looked different at the council?" I asked.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Annie shot back.

"I didn't really notice because I was thinking about what was going to happen." I explained.

How do you not notice that wtf

"Well Legolas is a lot manlier in person." Annie giggled.

"If you stare at him all day he's going to be creeped out by you." I laughed. "Well we better find Lord Elrond and Gandalf and demand an answer."

"Where are they?" Annie asked as we headed out of the room.

"Um," I looked at the multiple hallways. "That way!"

We went down many hallways and it seemed like we were making no progress. I would lead and then Annie would. It got to the point where we were doing ini, mini, myni, moe. I then saw a dark haired elf and headed towards him or her.

Tag yourself, I'm "myni"

"Do you know where Lord Elrond and Gandalf is?" I asked.

"They are in Lord Elrond's study." The elleth answered. "Why do you ask?"

Elleth = female elf

"She's the floating girl." Annie whispered.

"They said they would explain something to us." I explained. "Are you by any chance Princess Arwen?"

"Yes," Arwen answered. "Are you Lady Lyn and Lady Annabelle."

Missing a question mark there

"How do you know my full name?" Annie exclaimed.

"My father had mentioned something about new women arriving." Arwen answered.

Why is everyone okay with this

"We are not-" Annie started but I cut her off.

"Can you please show us the way?" I asked.

"Of course," Arwen led us a few hallways down and to a room. "Here we are."

"Thank you!" I called after her.

"Women?" Annie repeated angrily. "We are in middle school for crying out loud!"

Which makes the attempted romance in this fic all the more creepy

"Be quiet Annie!" I snapped. "Remember elves' super hearing?"

"I knew that!" Annie lied.

"Sure you did," I said while rolling my eyes.

I thought I was so cool

I then opened the door and we walked in. I saw Gandalf and Lord Elrond sitting on some chairs across from a couch. I then closed the door and followed Annie to the couch. I looked up at Gandalf and crossed my arms.

"Why are we in Middle Earth?" I demanded.

Roll credits! *insert CinemaSins' ding here*

"You and Abigail possess great magic that could help us with the war." Gandalf answered.

"No we don't." Annie argued.

"Everyone could feel the magic radiating off you two." Lord Elrond stated. "You two were sent here to help Middle Earth. On the morrow you two shall begin your training."

Sense... magic?

"What type of training?" I asked.

"Weaponary training." Gandalf answered. "Food shall be delivered to your room. I suggest you retire for the day, you will need your rest."

"But we don't know how to control our powers." I protested.

"When you fall asleep you will then contain the knowledge from the Valar." Gandalf explained.

I'm 100% sure I meant "obtain" and wow isn't that magic training convenient or what 

"Who?" Annie asked.

"The Middle Earth gods." I muttered.

"How much rest?" Annie asked. "How many of the days off?"

These lines don't make sense???

"Annie we start training tomorrow. You get no days off." I explained.

"Oh man!" Annie whined.

"See ya tomorrow!" I called over my shoulder as I pushed Annie out of the room.

"What was that for?" Annie demanded as we walked down a random hallway.

"What did I do?" I asked innocently while putting my hand on my chest.

"YOU DRAGGED ME OUT OF THE ROOM!" Annie shouted while throwing her hands in the air.

caLM DOWN

"While we are here in Middle Earth I have rules you need to follow." I said. "Number one, you cannot, under any circumstances, tell anyone that we know the future. Also you can't tell them the future. If something goes wrong and changes the story, Middle Earth will DIE."

How do you know that???

"But I want to tell them about Facebook and Cola." Annie whined.

"You can tell them about that stuff." I sighed. "Just not the story."

"Anywho, where the heck is our room?" Annie asked as she looked around.

"Uh, um, that way?" I guessed.

"I thought we went that way." Annie said as she pointed down another hallway.

"Didn't we meet Arwen a few hallways back though?" I asked.

"No, we met her a few hallways up."

"But we went by those giant doors."

"But wasn't that over there?" Annie pointed down a narrow hallway.

"I thought it was over there." I pointed to a wide hallway.

"Maybe it was down that hallway."

"We already went that way."

"Oh yeah,"

Tbh my sense of direction still sucks

"Hey look!" Annie gasped while pointing over to twin elves. "An elf!"

"Pointy-ears!" I cried.

Comedy™ at its finest

Annie walked up to the twins and I slowly followed. They looked at us with dark eyes very similar to Lord Elrond's. I then slightly tilted my head. Before I could say anything Annie spoke.

"We're lost." Annie stated as she looked around for the hundredth time. "Can you show us where out room is?"

"Annie," I hissed. "Not everyone knows where are rooms are." Then I looked up to the twins. "Are you two by any chance Elrohir and Elladan?"

I feel so bad that I dragged the books' characters into this movies-based fic

"How did you know, mortal?" One demanded.

'Mortal' ffs

"Um, uh," I stammered while looking at the ground. "Lucky guess?"

"I never heard of them." Annie whispered.

"We shall escort you anyways." The other said. "Adar spoke of you two and we would be happy to assist such powerful warriors."

Adar = dad (Elrond's their dad, but I didn't feel like explaining that, of course)

I looked over to Annie and we were both smiling. They must've heard of us in the council. We then followed the twins through the many hallways of Rivendell.

~

Talk about a glow up :') I can't believe I actually had a couple readers rooting this story on when I was publishing it. Speaking of publishing it, can you believe I would write a whole chapter then post it daily? Where'd that talent go??? I guess you win some you lose some.